Now, This Is Love, Rin Tan Qian Yong [black female authors .txt] 📗

I walked alongside Len on our way home from work. We'd been in a relationship for almost two years now, yet nothing has happened - no proposal, no engagement, no nothing. Len's voice pulled me back to the present, "So Fier, my friends are having a party later and they asked me to invite you. Wanna come?" Hearing that, there was a pang in my heart. Why was it that he only asked me to go out with him when his friends tell him to? Why couldn't he ever take the initiative?

I shook myself free from those depressing thoughts for a moment to reply him. A smile was pasted on my face, "Sure, I'll go." Then, the thoughts returned, almost immediately. He never seemed to specially care for me; he treated me just like he treated everyone else. Sometimes I even wondered whether he really cared about me. My very own thoughts were bringing me down, and I clenched my fist to shut out those thoughts.

"You'll wait for me here, right? I'm just going to put down my things and grab a change of clothes." I said to Len when we reached my apartment. "Hmm... Nah, I'll go home first, I need to change my attire too, see ya at Clez's house!" He gave me his killer grin and began walking away. An excruciating pain welled up in my chest. Was it that difficult to just wait for me for a short while? "Y-Yeah, sure... Why not." I said to his disappearing silhouette. What more could I do? Len never did care much for others. He was those kind of people who would choose to do things as conveniently as possible.

I rushed up the stairs and browsed through my cabinet before quickly grabbing a black plain tee and white shorts. After donning them on, I quickly combed my hair. picked up my pair of slippers, and headed towards Clez's house.

A little after the party commenced, Clez whispered into my ear, careful not to let Len hear their conversation, "So, how's it going between you and Len?" "Huh? Same as usual, I guess." I shrugged. "You guys have already been dating for almost two years now and Len hasn't proposed to you yet?" Clez exclaimed, attracting Len's attention and immediately shushing up, "Are you serious?"

"Yeah..." I sighed. "Enough about me, how's it going between you and your girlfriend?"

"Hm... Progressing, y'know. But you two..." Clez shook his head, "Hopeless, really."

Clez's words stabbed through my heart like a million knives, because they were true. We were hopeless. Len and I had been dating for almost two years and nothing happened. You would have expected an engagement ring to pop up by now but nope, nothing. "What're you guys talking about?" Len asked as he looked at them, puzzled. "N-Nothing much..." Clez dragged as he quietly moved away. Giving Len and I some privacy. Len looked at me, waiting for my reply. "What he said, nothing much." I answered, pointing at Clez while forcing out a slight smile. "Hm... Okay... If you say so but seriously, don't take Clez's words to heart, he likes talking crap," Len insisted. I nodded, I knew how Clez was like, insensitive, full of nonsense, but what he said this time was true. My relationship with Len just wasn't moving forward. We had been in the same position since almost two years ago, even Clez and his new girlfriend were progressing a lot than us.

After the party ended, Len walked me home, but Clez's words still burned in the back of my mind and distracted me. "... Fier. Fier?" Len asked, staring at me. "Oh! I- I'm sorry, you were saying?" I jumped back to the present. "Well, our two-year anniversary is tomorrow but I've got a ticket for the Black Dragons's concert... Um..." I immediately understood what Len was indirectly saying. "It's okay, you can go have fun at the concert first. But you have a promise with me at 5 o'clock." I grinned. Now don't misunderstand, it's not like I don't want to have him for the whole day on our anniversary, but I just didn't want him to hate me for being possessive. "Thanks, Fier, we'll meet at the park, I'll see you tomorrow!" Len said as we reached my house and walked away.

I watched Len turn the corner before excitedly running up the stairs and into my room. I couldn't wait for our anniversary celebration tomorrow, I could just imagine it. Flowers, movies... The arcade, a candlelit dinner...  And maybe even Len's romantic proposal! I was really jumpy and it took a while for me to fall asleep. But even as I slept I kept dreaming about our date tomorrow. How would Len arrange it?

Hm... Perhaps I got here a bit too early, it wasn't 5 o'clock yet after all. I paced about the park a little and after a while, I glanced at my watch. It was already five-thirty... What was Len doing? I got anxious and almost called Len's cellphone when another part of my brain convinced me not to. Maybe he was preparing for the date and would be a little late. If I called him right now he might get angry at me for being too uptight and prompt. I found a bench and decided to get an ice-cream to bide my time. I waited and waited, but no one came. It was already around six-forty-five when I checked my watch for the fifth time. Just a little longer... Len will be here soon. I kept telling myself.

"Hey, young lady." A voice shocked me as a man in his forties appeared and sat beside me. "Why're you all alone? Waiting for someone? Or perhaps you got ditched by your boyfriend?" He asked in a squeaky voice. I moved away from him and tried to create a larger distance between us, but the stranger just moved closer. "I've got money..." The man said as he pounced onto me. "No! Get away from me!" I yelled and closed my eyes, awaiting the impact of the man's weight on me. Just then, the man fell to the ground with an astounding thud and I heard a familar voice ask me, "Are you okay, Fier?" I opened my eyes and saw Len reaching his hand out to me, concern and worry filled his sea blue eyes.

Too late... A part of my heart told me. Then my entire body was telling me to get away, telling me that he was too late. "Sorry, Fier. I was too pumped up by the live concert, the Black Dragons were so amazing! You should have came!" "It's fine. To you... Today was nothing special..." I smiled sadly and ran away. As long as I did that, I wouldn't get any more hurt than I already was. "Wait! Fier I-" Len grabbed my wrist with his right arm and his eyes widened as he saw fresh tears roll down my porcelain face. I slapped his arm away. My bracelet breaking as a result, its beads rolling to the cold concrete floor. Then, Len stopped running after me, he just stood there, shocked by my fierce reaction. He fell to the ground, on his knees, watching as I ran further and further away. Slowly, he picked up the fallen beads, one by one. 

"Hello? Fier? Are you there? I'm Len. I'm at the gate of your house right now. Can you let me in? Or just come down? I really need to see you right now." Said the voice on the phone a few days after that tragic anniversary. "No," I answered, "I... I don't want to see you." Then came the awkward silence. My finger landed upon the red button of my phone and as if sensing so, Len shouted into the phone, "Wait! Please! Don't hang me up! Just... Just come down... Alright, Fier? Please." Hesitation filled me from within, but I made sure Len knew nothing of it and replied with a cold no. Although I gave such a cruel answer, tears were welling up in my eyes as I remembered the happy times we'd spent together, and how none of these times would ever exist again.

"Fier, if you won't come down, I'll just stay here kneeling."

"That's not going to work." I steeled my heart.

"I'll stay here, no matter how long it takes, until you come down to see me." Len stated. "Suit yourself," I hung up the phone. Thirty minutes after the call with Len, I stole a peek through the curtains hanging from above my window and was shocked to see Len kneeling at my gate, just as he said he would. "Give him another half an hour, he'd be gone by then," I told myself. But after the next thirty minutes, not only did Len not leave, the weather took a turn for the worse. Rain started pouring heavily from the dark skies. Grey clouds rumbled up ahead and I watched as Len continued kneeling there. I waited for a while, willing him to just walk away, so that I could give up on him completely. But he didn't. Six minutes had passed in the horrendous weather, but Len did not budge. I could not take it anymore, I didn't want him to keep kneeling there. He could get sick, and it was not what I wanted for him. I still loved him, even though I had been disappointed on that day. I ran down the flock of stairs that led to my gate and got on my knees beside Len, attempting to pull him up. "Len! Get up! You're gonna get a