Who Has to Know, K.F. [big ebook reader .txt] 📗

I know I shouldn’t but I do, I love him. Every time he smiles I get weak, every time he speaks my heart just leaps. When he looks at me I feel like he’s staring into my soul. There’s only one problem, he’s my best friend’s boyfriend and my best friend as well. So what can I do nothing that’s what? So I admire him from afar. No one knows how I feel and it’s not fair he was mines first I met Jalen in the 6th grade. I met Layla in the 8th and she came and took him away from me. Layla has and will forever be my best friend though. Jalen was my best friend well until these feelings came, so I distanced myself away and he and Layla got closer I guess. They have been together for four months now and every time their together my heart sinks. I feel like she doesn’t know him like I know him and to be honest she doesn’t. I have to just deal with the reality that he’s not with me and when she is playing him it’s really like she’s playing me. What’s a girl to do? I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. My back’s against a wall. If I told him I would be breaking some type of code and since I’m not telling him the only thing I’m breaking is my own heart. I know this sounds stupid seeing as I’m only 16, but I know how I feel and maybe it is a crush but it’s a crush I’ve had for three years and I can’t seem to shake it. I guess that’s just life.

I wonder what she’s thinking about. Kerri just seems to drift off lately. I wish Layla would shut up, she keep going on and on about some party. She’s not even seeing that Kerri is gone again. Layla’s just like that I guess, she always misses the small thinks.
“Kerri are you okay” I ask.
“I’m fine Jalen quit asking me that” she smiles.
“So back to what I was saying” Layla starts again and I roll my eyes. Kerri just giggles like she always does when I do stuff like this. They are the complete opposite. Layla is loud and outgoing while Kerri is quiet and conservative. Kerri is super smart and Layla is, I guess she’s smart in a way. Kerri is reasonable and Layla has always been her way or no way. They both are great though. I know I’m with Layla but sometimes I wonder how it would be to be with Kerri. I know she’s my best friend and I shouldn’t think this way but I just have and I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I met Kerri in the 6th grade we were partners in our history class. She was super quiet, but I like to talk so that was okay. I guess one day I said something like or agree with and she went off on me. From that day on we were friends and that made us best friends. I found that she was very talkative and funny. Kerri has always been beautiful but she was always a stick well until now. She is filling out real nice. She’s not as developed as Layla but beautiful all the same. She was kind of distant for a while after we started hanging with Layla in the 8th grade then our first year in high school we got closer again then in the 10th grade more distant and now going into our 11th grade year she’s just quiet and not herself. Layla and I got together because, well I don’t really know why. I love Layla but it doesn’t feel like the kind of love it should be. I don’t know maybe it’s just me.

I can’t wait for this party. Summer vacation has just started and I’m ready to go hard. No one seems to share the same excitement as I do but that’s how it usually is. I swear Jalen is really starting to irritate me. I really don’t know why I’m still with him. I mean he is very attractive he’s a chocolate color with deep dark brown almond shaped eyes. He has ebony black hair with crisp waves and his lips are round and delicious. I guess the fact that he’s 6’2 and plays football and baseball is a plus. He’s smart too, smarter than me anyway but not as smart as Kerri. That girl is beyond normal smart but that’s my girl and I love her. Man Jalen’s teeth are really straight and white. I like him a lot and love him as my friend but I really miss Kerri’s Brother Jonathan. He left about a year and a half ago to go live with his father in North Carolina but he’s coming back to finish his senior year and stay with his mom and Kerri. Last time I seen him he was the color of caramel and had sandy brown shoulder length thick curly hair. He was 5’8 but Kerri said he much taller now. It’s crazy how someone can grow within a year and a half. His grey eyes put me in a trance and the way he spoke enticed me. He’s addicting and I’m a fiend. I can’t wait to get my next fix. Kerri said he let his braids go and now has locks that are a little past his shoulders. That boy knows just what to do to make me want him more. I bet them locks make him look all the sexier. I know dark skin is in but I love my light skinned caramel Jonathan. His lips are this pinkish brown color and I would love to just kiss them. His body is amazing, he ran track, played basketball, and boxed. I guess I just love athletes. He’s coming home in a couple of days and I know I have a boyfriend but I can’t wait to see him. We have history untold history and I can’t help the way my heart feels. Jonathan just has me hook and when it’s all said and done I know something is going to happen between us.

“So Kerri are you going to come with me?” Layla asked.
“Not this time Layla, I have to clean up and get ready for Jonathan’s arrival”
“Right he is coming home, tell him I said hi when he gets in”
“I will” I said and Layla stood to leave.
“Okay well guys I got to go get ready, Jalen will I see you there?”
“Probably not I’m kind of tired from football practice”
“Okay well I’ll call you later” she said and as she turned to kiss him I turned away. Then she left.
“So Kerri what’s up, what’s wrong?”
“What do you mean, I’m fine”
“You’ve been so sad and distant lately” he said. I just wish he could read my mind then he would know how I was feeling.
“I don’t know what you mean” I said not looking him straight in the eye.
“Okay Kerri” he said as if he were getting irritated now he knows how I feel when I have to sit and watch then two. “Kerri I know you and I know when something’s wrong” yeah any one could figure that out but it would be great if you know exactly what was wrong.
“Jalen nothing wrong”
“Okay Kerri if you say so”
“Good because I do say so” I say getting a little irritated myself.
“I just care about you and if you’re hurt or someone hurt you I will do anything to change that I just want my best friend back” I understand what he means but can he change it if he apart of the problem, the thing that’s hurting me.
“Your best friend never left Jalen I’m fine, I promise” I say finally looking into his deep almond shaped brown eyes. We stared into each other eyes what seem like forever and I began to feel warm from the intensity of the stare.
“Kerri is it me?” he said in a low tone. I broke the stare and looked down again at my hands. I just want to scream YES it’s you. But instead I say.
“No” and I bite down on my bottom lip.
“You’re lying you always bite your bottom lip when your lie” he right and that irritates me.
“Jalen just stop I’m fine, damn” I say rolling my eyes and shaking my head.
“Okay” he says harshly and then he gets up and leaves me sitting in the den alone. I hear the front door slam shut and I throw my head back against the soft black suede sofa.
“The day just gets better and better” I say to myself. I realize my book bag is still in the back seat of his car so I rush after him and I get to him right before he starts opening his car door.
“Jalen” I called out to him.
“What’s up?”
“My bag is in your car” I said walking up to him. He grabbed my black Prada book bag out of the backseat and just stared at me. I looked somewhere else to avoid his gaze “What?” I asked nervously.
“Nothing” he said and handed me my bag.
“Jalen, you didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just a lot going on in my head right my