Loving Ali, Shånnon Marie [i like reading .TXT] 📗

He let go of me and rose to his feet. "I'm so sorry Claire." Now there were tears on his face, too. "I never meant to hurt you. But you make me happy, so very happy. And I do love you. I never stopped thinking about you. I couldn't even enjoy myself with other women after you. I tried to forget you, but anytime things would get intimate I couldn't do it because I wanted her to be you. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in eons because I'm haunted by the last time I saw you. You were in my arms, naked and vulnerable and mine and you told me you loved me. I had everything I'd ever wanted right there in my arms in that moment and I let it go. I've replayed that scene in my mind so many times it's worn, each time wishing I'd told you I loved you back. Those are the words you deserved to hear, Claire. Those are the words I should have said and that I've hated myself ever since for not. You gave me that beautiful tender heart of yourse, and I trampled all over it. I'm so so sorry." 

We were both crying heavily at this point. He got down on both knees and held my face in his hands. "I didn't realise how wonderful and you were and what a fantastic woman I had until you were taken away from me. I wish I could have seen it sooner, but I was blind. Blinded by my pride and fear of love. I didn't want to get hurt, and I didn't want to hurt anyone else. But by running from love, I've hurt the one that I love the most in the most horrible way. I keep having nightmares where a man hurts you and you come running to me. I go after him, prepared to take him out, but then he turns around and it's me. Claire, I've been nothing but a grade-A asshole to you, and I'm kicking myself constantly over it. I should have shatched you up when I had the chance but......but I guess I'm too late, aren't I?"

He rose to his feet again, wiping the tears from his eyes. "I'm so damn sorry, Claire. You're an amazing woman, you know that? Don't ever forget that, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Fuck, I love you so much. I don't think there's a man good enough on this earth for you, much less a cowardly bastard like me. I'll leave now, I guess. Am I allowed to write you and the kids?"

I sniffled and nodded. "Yes."

"Goodbye, then" he bent and lightly kissed me one last time on the lips. "I'll miss you for the rest of my life, Doc."

And then he was gone.

Publication Date: 02-27-2012

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