A Chance With You, Paula Camille Wong [top 10 inspirational books .txt] 📗

you would want to lie to me of all people. I understand if it is Will but…. I thought that I was one of your friends. I suppose I was wrong,”

“No. It is not that Lillian. It is just…,” She sighed not knowing how to explain it.
Upset, she shook her head and raised from her chair. “It is alright Jane. You need not to elucidate the matter at hand,”

Jane panicked and reached for her hand just as she was about to make her way toward the door. “Lillian. Wait a moment. Please.” She inhaled a breath and released it ever so slowly. “Yes. What Mr. De’Lacour said had wounded my feelings. The thought that my best friend had to say those dreadful words to me…. I could not bear it,”

The confession seemed to ease Lillian for she made her way back to the chair next to the bed. “I did not need your explanation as I had said. But thank you for being honest,” She whispered. “Don’t take heed of my brother’s words. Ever since your slut of a sister rejected his proposal, he had changed.”

Yes. That was true and Jane was glad that she was not the only one who had noticed. She can vividly remember the day. As if it only happened seconds ago.

“I love you Meredith!” William screamed, barging inside their country estate. Jane was in a room upstairs. Thankfully, right next to the ledge where the entrance door can be visible. And also William’s angry form. “Please say that you will marry me. I love you. I will love and cherish you for the rest of our living days,”

Tears escaped Jane’s eyes and her heart felt like giant spears were stabbing it over and over again. But no matter what she remained quiet. Letting Temera comfort her, hold her.

Meredith’s beautiful and cold voice echoed through the massive estate. Her father was away on a business trip, only her mother and Meredith were present, in addition to the maids and footmen. “That is kind of you to propose Will. But you see, I cannot marry someone who cannot afford for himself. What about me and our future children what of them? What will you do for the rest of your life? Become a blacksmith or worse?” She shook her head in disapproval; there was no hint of sadness or care for him at all. “I can only give myself to a titled aristocrat. You are handsome I give you that but you are no match for wealth and title. I would want expensive dresses, grand balls, and luxurious foods. I do not think you can provide that,”

Already tears were escaping William’s eyes. “I’ll work hard. With all my power to provide for the both of us. I promise. I swear to the God Almighty I will do anything so you and I will not be able to starve in the streets,”

Her head was bent down, studying her nails. “It seems you are not listening to me, my sweet. You are not my type. You are handsome and very intelligent but that will get me nowhere in life. I will decline your proposal and if you shall propose again, I will decline repeatedly. I can never marry a man who’s poor and untitled. Johnny will show you out,” And with that settled, Meredith turned around and made her way toward her room. Unfazed by the fact that she had rejected a man’s offer.

The rest of the time was followed by William’s angry pleas and words. Her mother tossed him out in the streets as if he was nothing but a rascal. Rejected and alone. How she longed to hold him when her younger sister declined him. Declined his very being. It was then after that the light in his eyes died. She saw that very clearly. After that day he did not come over to see her anymore. Every moment she came to see him; he would refuse to see her.

Jane wished she could have given him comfort and support. Sometimes, she had the idea that if she wished hard enough that William would be hers. She would love him each and every day. Show him what she is capable of. That she is tenfold better than Meredith. She had not lost hope. Even after all this time.

But when he had said those appalling words, she said to herself a fool. She should not keep such hopes, knowing that there is nothing that will come about it. It is time to bury her emotions. Time to bury William from her mind and heart.

She needed peace. Peace from hope. Peace from love.

And if her heart and soul have to disappear in the process, so be it.

Chapter 11

Lillian saw something in Jane’s eyes. It was like a spark in a fuse… then suddenly it died. The whole light in her eyes. The eyes she knew so much. It died. She had made a decision, she realized. A decision that surely wasn’t a suitable one for the matter at hand. “Dinner is ready,” She whispered. “Will you be dining with us?”

She just simply smiled. But it didn’t reach her eyes. Lillian’s stomach churned slowly. A decision was made and she had a chilling feeling about it. Whatever it was. It wasn’t good. “Yes. I do not wish to miss supper just because of this childish emotion,”

“I do not think what you are feeling is childish Jane. In fact if anything I do think what you are feeling is-….,”

Jane cut her off with a simple wave of a hand. “Never mind. Will you help me with my evening gown?”

Lillian bit her lip but simply nodded and raised from her chair, opening the closet. “There are many gowns here I had picked for you. Do you see something you prefer?”

“I would prefer the black one. After all, I am still mourning of my dead husband.” Jane announced simply.

She opened her mouth to retort but instead bit her lip. Jane’s expression looked simply frightening. No it wasn’t that. Her eyes contained no emotions whatsoever. That is what frightened her. It was like she had no soul. The identical look in William’s eyes. Lillian saw it the minute he had returned that day from the Parker Townhouse when they used to live in the country. This wasn’t her fight, she realized. This was Jane’s and William’s. She must not meddle in. The best she can do is to try and support Jane. With that decision in hand, she merely nodded and took out the simple black gown, placing it down at the foot at the bed. Smoothing all the wrinkles and creases off of it.

Jane was surprised that Lillian remained quiet. Normally, she would argue about the color and design of the gown. It was simple really. The fabric was linen; some of the shifts of the gown were pinned in place. One three inch or so apart from each other until it ended to the waistline of the gown. The sleeves were long, leaving no skin exposed the same applies to the neckline and chest. No skin can be exposed. A total contrast to regular elegant gowns. Once the bodice was tightly secured, she pulled her hair into a tight bun.

No curls escaping.

Lillian bit her lip. This strangely made Jane look ten years older. And she had a feeling that she did this on purpose. Before, she had not seen her dress in black. In fact, she was dressed in nothing but a brown tattered gown. Hardly even classified as a gown. She wondered what decision could she have made. And yet at the same time, she didn’t want to. “Alright. I do think you are all set. Are you ready?” She asked.

She nodded in response. “Yes. Let us go,” Jane was thankful. She did not mention of her sudden change. If it wasn’t for the worried look in her eyes, she would have thought that Lillian did not notice her sudden change of attitude. She took her arm and led her outside of her room and through the massive hallways then down the stairs.

When they both reached the dining room, Jane saw that William was seated on the head of the table. That was his rightly place. When her gaze met his, she still saw that same veil in his eyes as before. And in his eyes, she did not see a look of remorse, or any sign that he is not sympathetic for what he had said earlier. He raised from his chair in short curtsy, moving to her side scooting the chair out for her to sit in, pushing it forward till she was comfortable and moved back to his side of the chair. The whole time, not a glimpse of a single emotion.

He annoyed her. As unladylike as it sounds. Jane fought an urge to frown instead kept an impassive face.

Lillian felt the tension around the room and sighed, clearing her throat. “So brother how was your day?”

William nodded at the footman who was serving them their dinner. Today it was baked ham with asparagus and fresh artichokes, drizzled with white gravy, a hint of fresh thyme and basil. “I’ve been better,” Was all he said, starting to eat.

Jane’s stomach clenched at the sight of the delicious food on her plate. She had forgotten what it was like to have this kind of dinner. Elegant and rich. She bit her lip, picking up the silver knife and fork, slicing a piece of ham and brought it up to her mouth. She managed to keep her emotionless expression, her eyes set firm. But on the inside, she was smiling, content and happy. She can’t recall the last time she had eaten a meal that contained meat. Two years since Marcus’s death, she had eaten nothing but potato soup and stale bread. The rest of dinner had gone by without such as a glance at each other. No words had been passed; Lillian’s attempt to make conversation earlier the evening failed. After the last course of the meal, Jane raised from her chair. She turned to the footmen and the Cook who were lined on the far side of the room, away from the table. She bowed and managed to summon a smile. Though it didn’t seem to reach her eyes but she tried her best. “Thank you so much for the lovely dinner. I must say, it was the best meal I had in my life.”

The Cook beamed, her eyes a shiny bright blue. She was surprisingly young, looking at best in her forties. “Thank you m’lady,”

“No need to thank me. I was speaking the truth.