'Mum's First Lover', Harshavardhan C [spiritual books to read txt] 📗

My attention was drawn by his painful words. Initially I thought of exposing Mrs. Rosaline, but I controlled myself as he might hurt himself and misunderstand me.

“But it’s not in our hands Mr. Johnson. We can control our emotions, but not feelings and I don’t think that a true lover couldn’t understand his fiancée whose love is also true John?” Though it pained him, I said so referring him only.

I expected him to know my sincere and true love for him one day or the other.

The next day he didn’t drink, perhaps he wanted to receive her personally. In deed he was really a great lover, but a poor husband for he losing both his legal and moral and ethical rights over his wife; and no wonder to say that he constructed a temple for his love and a cemetery to his legally wedded wife in his heart; and kept her on the pedestal as a Goddess of Love.

But he never knew that Mrs. Rosaline coming to him again was only a myth, which was only created and enacted by me. I found in him for the first time the feel of missing the conjugal happiness with Mrs. Rosaline for the last fifteen years.

The third day Mr. Johnson started killing his time again by taking liquor right from the day in and day out; and he fell fast asleep around 0200hrs.

I then never wanted to miss the chance; and in fact I was also in the same heat of being a spinster feel like having go after go in the succeeding day and night and again and again, much interestingly and I dared to take him to the peak of enjoyment and show him the heaven of joy with me unlike Rosaline, and I hoped that my scale to measure his enjoyment must not be less than the Golan Heights.

This was going on unobtrusively till I missed my periods; and then one night I decided to stay back on his bed, till day dawn so that he himself might understand; and in the meanwhile I was tuning my mind and my loving soul to bear whatever his reactions might be?

Even after we enjoyed all through the night also he didn’t leave me and further he pulled me still closer to him and locked me, perhaps he was trying to provide me secured life rather hope on love. I then had a very beautiful and enjoyable sound sleep in his sweet hug.

I was awoken by the housemaid, who brought me bed coffee; and she looked at me differently not as I committed anything wrong but a good feel that I could understand the painful heart of her master and for a good attempt on my part to bring him back to happy life.

I then I got up at once from the bed as it was already late as the wall clock was showing 0900hrs. I was to attend annual crime meeting in the office of the Commissioner of police. I prepared myself within half an hour and put on the uniform and while leaving home I just looked for my diary.

It was not in its place. I hurriedly searched and found my diary in the wad robe. I remembered that I used to keep my diary underneath the pillow, but now it is in the wad robe means I doubted whether Mr. Johnson put it here.

I then opened the yesterday’s page in my diary much out of curiosity for I firmly believed that Mr. Johnson might have read all the pages as he might have considered me as his property and understood what had been happening till then.

And surprisingly I found the writings of Mr. Johnson beneath my writings. I then felt guilty rather feared what to read. But my hope certainly dominated the rest of my inhibitions.

“I am extremely sorry Jasmine; and what I never wanted has already happened. I don’t find fault with anybody or the existing systems in our society. But under whatever circumstances you did so, I hold myself personally responsible for spoiling your bright career and beautiful life, and I curse myself for my do’s and undo’s as I have only become centre of either attraction or sympathy for most of the spinsters like you, by creating in you umpteen hopes regarding your future with me. In fact my future is still gloomy. I am lifeless rather soulless and my loving heart has turned to be stone. It has no feelings and emotions now, but has pains only.

And finally I tell you dear, I am ashamed to pose myself as one and the only world’s best lover. But today, as I succumb to bloody lust, it goes to prove that I am the world’s worst lover rather a play boy ever fond of lust.

I couldn’t show my face to you Jasmine, as I am only responsible for ruining your life. Public will split on me if they come to know that you have conceive through me. I am prepared to pay back for my sin whatever may be your judgement except marriage with you Jasmine”

“I am really thrilled that I have got fabulous confidence in me that my love is also pure, and that day would definitely come and he will be fascinated by my gracious and eye catching beauty besides my ripen age and he would definitely fall a prey to me and is going to propose me, and accept his child” Jasmine wrote the last page in her diary.

And that was all; Mr. Anirudh closed her diary as the succeeding pages were all empty.

He then opened the diary of Mr. Johnson.

Chapter: 26

     It was not a surprise to know the chickenhearted Mr. Johnson. He then read his heart through the language he adapted while penning his diary.

“In this world, though I had given much credentials to love and lovers, but when I saw people started losing control over their body and mind, the three beautiful words ‘I love you, and Love me dear’ sound something unusual and odd even to me and to the common man, why to speak about a celebrity who didn’t know the sweetness of love forever.

I fell in love with Miss. Rosaline, when I don’t know the meaning of love, depth of love, and aftermath of it. So also Rosaline; but with the help of our classmates we married while we were doing pre final of graduation.

Further I never knew till I married Rosaline, how to survive; and till then I joined as a paying guest and I used to spend a meagre amount I received from my parents. Now we require family accommodation and kitchen, vessels and furniture.

We were not told what next after marriage. Our knowledge was only to love and then got married adventurously.

But Rosaline took initiative and packed her luggage, vacated women’s hostel and joined me.

“I said where shall we go dear?”

“Why don’t we share your room?”

“It is a single room. And the house owners insisted me that they would give it to bachelors only” He spoke out his routine practical problem.

He appeared to me as an idiot, who didn’t know how to speak to his newly wedded wife. In fact people in dating used to would wink and take their fiancée as early as possible and try to screw them irrespective of day or night; and wherever the chance comes.

But, I understood that he was under tremendous stress and hence he might lose his balance of mind. It appeared to him a dream. I thought it would take some time for him to relish as what all had happened so far was certainly truth cum reality.

“Don’t worry, is your house owner also married and is nearing fifties?” I just tried to boost up his morale.

“Of course, but”

“That is enough I will manage”

“I am asking you how? They are very strict and wouldn’t oblige us”

“It is too much don’t behave like a child; and don’t forget that I am your legally wedded wife and we are majors too; and let us hurry up”

“Why hurry?”

“Idiot don’t you understand this much, if anybody sees us in bridal dress, they would definitely inform my dad and you will be undone”

“That is why I am also suspecting my house owners, because their only daughter eloped with her fiancé and since then they have formed very cheap opinion on youth”

“Why are you so scared, after all we are married not eloped unlike their daughter to object us?”

“But we are married secretly, I didn’t invite them or at least put their knowledge; and that is why I am rather hesitating”

“Just shut up man, why are you entertaining umpteen doubts unnecessarily? Come on man and start your bike at once”

“Are you coming by my bike?”

“Why are you hesitating to take me on your bike, I am you wife I say?”

“I never saw you as a pillion rider for the last three years and you only took me in your car; and that is why I doubt”

“When once, I have become your property, I must share and adjust whatever you have with you, don’t you know this much John? Further I left the car in the car garage in the college so that we can divert the attention of my dad, least he would think that we would have left for unknown place for Honeymoon either by train or by flight”

“Yes of course” He accepted and started his Motorcycle.

And we both left for his room.

*********************************

It was also as seen from films and reading fiction, after signing in the marriage register, we were pressurised by our class mates to have a first lip to lip kiss and a hot hug. That was all. But I was feeling guilty to touch her and have a first kiss.

I was not out of nervous, but out of some fear phobia as she happened to be an only daughter of a millionaire, besides I belong to a different set which was considered inferior when compared to hers in our society.

Our classmates wished us on the occasion, but none of them neither boys to me, nor girls to her, told to do this and that, as they were more inexperienced than us, as we were at least far ahead of then as per love and marriage were concerned.

But when we reached my accommodation with bridal make up, my house owners received us with typical Indian customs and traditions by giving aarti with a pumpkin and later broke it outside the gate to get rid of anybody’s eyesore over young and newly wedded couple.

Before allowing us to enter my suit, they first asked Rosaline to reveal her hubby’s name. But, even for legally wedded couple to do anything in public, certainly it might embarrass. The newly wedded bride Mrs. Rosaline was no exception to pronounce my name for the first time as her hubby to step into my small den for the first time. But she became freeze-up.

Then they asked me to reveal her name. But when once they asked me putting a condition to reveal and then only they allow us to enter, I too became freeze-up.

Later they understood that we were feeling embarrassed as we still remained as students, doing our final year bachelor’s degree and allowed us to enter.

In the night they decorated my suit with flowers and scents and kept fruits and sweets in the suit.

Before sending us into nuptial suit, the house owner told me some secrets. So also Rosaline was briefed by the wife of the house owner.

Later I was awaiting Rosaline in the suit, wearing night dress and sitting on the cot. I was killing the time going through an international magazine of erotic pictures, which was presented to me by one of my class mates.

I