Not Perfect, Laura Banister [book club suggestions .txt] 📗

voice whispering in my ears as I nodded. Jake grabbed my hand, and led me out away from the house.

Ashton’s house was surrounded by bush land, and little tracks led deeper into the trees. Soon enough, we found ourselves alone amongst the trees, far away from prying eyes of people, and the pounding of the music. It was quiet out here, only the light of the moon above the tree tops to guide our path. I watched Jake as we walked, the moon light glistening off his bright blonde hair. My eyes moved to see him watching me. I turned away, my cheeks burning so hot I thought they would burst into flames.

“Sienna?” The sweet sound of his voice made my legs give out beneath me, his arm wrapping around me to hold me up before I hit the ground. I looked at him, his eyes staring right back into mine as he lifted me back up to my feet, but he didn’t let go.

“I like you Sienna” I couldn’t speak, my voice caught in my throat, and all I could do was stare at him. He slowly leaned forward, his breath blowing warmly into my face. Softly his lips pressed against mine. My eyes closed as I felt the warmth of his touch trace my bottom lip, it’s warmth parting my lips. He moved his head again, deepening our kiss as his tongue slide between my parted lips. My arms slowly wrapped around his neck, my finger curling themselves into his hair as he kissed me. He kisses were soft at first, slowly getting rougher every second, and he soon pinned to a tree with his body, his tongue wrestling mine fiercely. I could feel the bark of the tree taring across my back as he pressed himself harder to me, his hands running down my sides to the bottom of my dress, and running them back, pulling my dress up with them. He pressed harder against me, the bulge in his pants digging into my stomach. He pulled me away from the tree quickly and had me lying on the floor in a second, the leave crunching beneath my body, his lips never mine. His body was on top of mine, grinding over me. I was enjoying this, it was a dream come true. This hot guy was kissing me. Suddenly his body shifted above me, and his hand rubbed my most private part. A gasp in the back of my throat made him kiss me harder. The feel of his hand there made me no long feel intoxicated, and the realisation came to me of what was happening. No. Not here. Not on the ground in the middle of the bush! Softly he brushed my panties to the side, his finger grazing the apex between my legs, my eyes shooting open with a gasp, making me break our kiss.

“No Jake. Not here” I was breathless beneath him.

“Come on baby. You know you want too” His voice sounded as breathless as mine, his lips kissing up my neck, to the bottom of my jaw. My eyes closed slowly as I arched my head back with his kisses. I wanted more, but not here. I heard his fly zip down, and my eyes shot open again. I moved my neck away from his touch.

“Jake, I said no” I said sternly.

“Why not?” He was angry, his voice booming loudly in my ear, the look in his eyes were dark. I felt myself begin to shake.

“I want to but not here Jake” My voice was shaken, like the rest of my body. I wanted Emily. She’d know what to do right now. I watched as a sly grin spread across his face. He lent towards me and softly kissed my shoulder, then the bottom of neck. I felt my self loosen beneath his touch. He kissed up my neck to my jaw line again, his body moving back on top of mine as he softly kissed my lips. I felt his hands move up along my sides, following down my arms and resting on my wrists as he moved them above my head. He kissed me harder as he trapped both my hands under on of his, his other hand moving back down my body to between my legs. He was trying again. I tried to move from beneath him, but his body held me down. His lips crushed against mine didn’t allow me to protest, and my arms were trapped beneath his hand, not allowing my to push him away. I was stuck. His lips suddenly left mine as he pushed himself up to an angle, and I knew what he was doing.

“Jake, please. Don’t. No…” I screamed out in a mix of both pleasure and pain, and it was too late to stop him. He was inside me. I could feel the burning between my legs as he stretch me out. I could feel the tears stinging behind my eyes. He moved softly, easing in and out of me, and I didn’t know whether to enjoy it, or fight against him to get him off. I struggled beneath him, twisting my body to get him off me, each turn pulling at my insides making me crying out.

“Jake, please” I cried, the tears pouring out from my eyes as I looked up at him, his eyes gleaming in pleasure as he watched me struggle beneath him. He pushed himself deeper inside me, lowering his body to whisper in my ear.

“You said you want to Sienna, so we are” He pulled back and slammed deeper into me, making my cry out louder. I let my body fall limp to him, the sounds of my cries being the only response I would let. He fucked me harder, and I begged for someone to hear me, but I knew they wouldn’t.

It felt like hours had gone by before his body crash back on top of mine. I felt his hand loosen from around mine, his body heaving against me. He finished. My eyes stung with tears, my hands balling up into fists with anger. His body lifted from mine, and I listened as he zipped his pants up. My body laid still, I didn’t want to move yet. Jake lent back over me, his lips softly pressing to my wet cheek in a small kiss before moving his lips to my ear.

“Tell anyone, and I will hurt you worse then this” He got up and walked back along the path we followed, back towards the house. I laid there for what felt like hours, but could only have been a few minutes. My tears had stopped, and I began to ache all over. Pain surged through my body as I moved to stand up. I winced in pain as I walked slowly back towards the house. I wanted to find Emily. I wanted to find her so we could leave.

Looking For Emily

Back at the house, people were still every where, each one either leaning against something, sitting down, or falling over. I walked through them quietly, my eyes searching the crowd for Emily. Across the room, I spotted Ashton and Jake’s words suddenly rang in my head: ‘She’s inside with Ashton at the moment’. My eyes begun to sting again. No. Don’t think about it. I walked quickly over to Ashton who greeted me with a big smile as I reached him.

“Sienna!!”                                                                             

“Where’s Emily, Ashton?” His smile disappeared as I spoke.

“She went with Adam down the hall…” I took off towards the hallway before he could say anything else, bumping into someone as I went.

“Woah, watch where your going Sienna” Adam looked down at me, his hands on my shoulders, and a scared look in his eyes.

“Where’s Emily? I thought she was with you?” His eyes looked away from mine, his breath getting heavier before he spoke.

“She’s in the bathroom. Someone spilt their drink on her…” Again I took off towards the hall. There were three doors along the hallway, only one of which was closed. The bathroom was empty and so was the other room. Risking catching someone in the act, I wandered in the room where the door was closed. The light was turned off when I entered, and searching the wall for the light switch appeared useless. I walked the room in the dark, stubbing my toe on what felt to be the bed, and falling to the ground, landing on something hard and pointed that dig into my side. I felt around me, and managed to find a small table with a lamp. The light blinded me as I switch it on. Looking down, I found it was a bright pink stiletto I had fallen on, the exact same ones as what Emily had worn to the party. Looking up at the bed, I found her…

Her body was cold, and covered in blood from her neck, a white sheet draped across it, her eyes wide open staring up at the ceiling. A bloody metal photo frame holding a picture of a baby laid next to her on the bed. I reached out to touch her, only I couldn’t. I couldn’t move, my heart pounding through my ribs as my chest heaved with each breath. A piercing scream suddenly filled my ears as someone burst through the door.

 

It was a blur of colours after that. The red and the blue lights flashing in my eyes. Someone guided me out of the room, but I couldn’t tear my eyes from Emily. I was taken from the house, out into the cold night air. Jake was crying on the grass, Ashton with him. They both looked at me, watching as I was led out to the street. Christy rushed passed me. I watched as she ran to Jake, holding him in her arms as he watched me. His eyes burned mine, accusing me, asking me… Reminding me. I felt myself begin to shake, my head getting dizzy, my legs wobbling beneath me, my eyes stinging, burning as the tears filled my eyes… Then nothing.

 

Grandma stayed with me that night. Laying in my bed bedside me, hushing me as wept in grief, in fear… I was the one to find her, to see her. The rest of the night, Jake’s eyes burned me, and I knew I wouldn’t sleep.

For the next few days, grandma let me be, knowing that Emily’s death had brought back the memories of the people I had already lost; Grandpa’s the most.

 

I was eleven when Grandpa died of a heart attack. Grandpa and I were down in his bar room playing ‘Go Fish’ on the glass table that had been set up for us to play on. I had noticed Grandpa rubbing his chest a lot during the game, but when I asked him if he was ok, he said he was fine, that he just needed a drink of water. He asked me to run up the stairs to get him a glass of water. I said ‘fine, but no peaking at my cards Grandpa”. I was half way up the stairs when I heard a big crash, and the sound of glass smashing against the floor. I quickly ran back down the stairs