The Sparkle that Killed My Loneliness, Deb Weber [good summer reads .txt] 📗

A few meters away I spotted a buffet with some snacks carefully laid out. Always hungry, I couldn’t resist and started to grab one cracker after the other and was forgetting my embarrassing meeting with the three persons whose names I had already forgotten. While I was chewing the snacks and drifting into my deep but useless thoughts, I saw a person approach out of the corner of my eyes. I paid no attention and continued to eat like a starving horse, asking myself why on earth I had come to this so-called party. Well, at least there was free food.

“You must be pretty hungry to attack those poor crackers in such huge numbers.”

Startled, I turned around and found myself staring into a beautiful face. His bright blue eyes sparkled and his mouth formed a cute little smirk. That handsome face was completed by his dark brown hair and eyebrows. His black eye lashes were pretty long for a guy, and all this together had me enchanted. I glanced down and took in what I could see of his body through his white shirt – well-toned and nicely proportioned. To sum it up, I was stunned.

“I, um, yes. I’m hungry. But … ah, I mean, would you like one?” My God, had I just stammered this awkward sentence that made me look like a shocked little teenager talking to his idol? I was such an idiot. Blushing, I tore my eyes from him and murmured an apology. Suddenly, a hand touched my shoulder just when I was turning away.

“Hey, where are you going? I’m sorry if I startled you. And to answer your question: yes, I would like a cracker, thanks.”

Was this even possible? This angelic guy was still talking to me? What kind of sorcery was this? But even better, now I had a chance to make up for my shy and bad first impression.

“You sure startled me. I’m Jay. Are you a friend of Ashley’s?” I handed him a cracker.

“Nice to meet you, Jay. The name’s Reece and no, I’m a friend of a friend of hers. I was practically dragged along and was boring myself until I saw you eating in such a hurry. That cheered me up quite a bit. So you’re also not too fond of being here?”

I nodded and smiled. I liked this guy, not only his appearance. He was the first person at this party who didn’t seem totally weird.

“Well, you’re not the only one looking for an amusement, let’s say it like this. So, Reece, what do you do?”

“I’m a graphic designer. It’s pretty uninteresting and average, so I can’t tell you much. It’s the only thing I was ever good at, so I stuck to it.”

“That’s interesting enough. I think it’s cool that you found a job you’re good at. It’s something people like me can only dream of.”

“What do you do, then?”

“At the moment, I’m a waiter. Yeah, lame, I know.”

Reece smiled sympathetically. He started to open his mouth, but I cut him off, desperate to add that I was more intelligent than required for a waiter, since he had to be reasonably smart and I didn’t want to appear dumb to him. At this, he smirked.

“It’s kinda funny that you seem to care about my opinion even though I’m basically a stranger to you.”

He had me there. What was I supposed to answer? I tried to cover my uncertainty by laughing and saying casually that I always cared about other persons’ opinion. It wasn’t that I was madly in love with him. Sure, I was interested in him, but I couldn’t even say that it was in terms of love. It could just as easily be as a friend. I’d need more time and get to know him better to make that decision. It had been a long time since I had had someone to talk to and this loneliness was showing in my inexperienced and clumsy way of communicating with people. I also didn’t have the easiness to say that I could easily find friends by talking to the same sex. I was bi and could love either sex.

“Is that so? So you’re not really self-confident? That’s a shame. Hey, Jay, what do you say we leave this embarrassing party and go amuse ourselves somewhere else? There must a dozen places that have better entertainment than this here.”

Happy about the turning of events, I agreed and soon we were walking to the nearest subway station, after we had secretly sneaked out. It had been a challenge to avoid being seen by Ashley. That girl was always running around, trying to talk to everyone at the same time. Somehow I felt bad for leaving without saying goodbye to her, but on the other hand I just couldn’t bear staying any longer.

While we were standing in the subway, I had the chance to study him unobtrusively. I was still amazed at this unbelievable beauty. His face seemed perfect to me. His body was equally god-like. How could anyone be so handsome and nice at the same time? Maybe he was just building up a front and trying to gain something by being nice to me, but I seriously doubted it. I was no special person, what would be the purpose of that? However, I couldn’t shake the suspicious feeling that crept from my brain to the heart. I just needed to be careful and regard him as a friend I was getting to know, then nothing bad could happen.

I noticed that Reece once looked at me intensively. I pretended not to realize and stared out the window, even though we were underground. What did he think about me? The longer I stood next to him, the more I felt like an unattractive and boring dork, be that as a friend or possible boyfriend.

After five minutes of silence, Reece looked up and said, “Why don’t we get off here? There’s a good club nearby.”

Since this wasn’t my usual part of town, I could only nod and wonder what his standard for a good club was.

“Ah, by the way, some of my friends are also there. I think you’ll like them.”

My heart sank a little. I wanted to get to know Reece, not all of his friends. While I didn’t mind meeting new people, the fact that his friends were going to be there meant that he would spend more time with them and less with me. Was this jealousy? Why was I thinking I could talk to him alone? It wasn’t as if he owed me anything. We barely knew each other. For some people, this situation would be odd enough, clubbing with a person you didn’t know anything about except the name and job.

“That’s all right. You lead the way.”

We stepped out of the train and took the stairs to the ground. It was a mild night, the city lights shone brightly. I followed Reece and watched our surroundings with interest. The neighborhood seemed slightly dangerous and gave off an impression of twilight. There were people standing together in small groups, their faces hidden by shadows and shades. I could hear muffled conversations, a warning being hissed and the silence that followed whenever we walked past a group.

Reece turned sharply to the left and walked to a shabby-looking door. I was confused and about to ask him if we were at the right place, when he called, “Don’t worry; it’s only the door that looks like this. The club’s sweet.”

I could only trust him and disappeared after him through the door frame, my heart pumping with excitement and nervousness.

The first thing I noticed was the loud and energetic music. It seemed to enter your ears and head directly to your heart. It instantly heated me up. My eyes slowly adapted to the darkness and after a few seconds I could make out a lot of young people in a fairly big room, dancing, talking (or rather shouting) or standing at the crowded bar. The room itself was modern-looking, with some neon lights on the wall and even sofas in three corners. Reece had been right, the club was nice. I turned to him, smiled broadly and gave him a thumbs-up. He smirked back at me and signalled me to follow him. Together, we pushed our ways through the tight crowd and enjoyed the atmosphere.

After quite some time, Reece stopped and walked to a group of guys that looked about our age. I guessed those were Reece’s friends and examined them a little closer.

There were four of them in total, two girls and two dudes. The girls were pretty and curvy, I couldn’t deny it, and they were dressed appropriately for the event. That’s to say, they wore short and tight miniskirts and a top that was really glittery. The dudes stood there in skinny jeans and a grey and black shirt. They weren’t especially ugly, but next to Reece everyone looked like average. I studied their faces and nodded at them, not attempting to say something in this noise. The girls smiled brightly at me and the dudes nodded back at me. Because I didn’t know what do to now, I started moving my body to the music. It seemed awkward to just stand there and stare at the guys. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Reece dancing as well and released a relieved breath that I didn’t even knew I had been holding.

After about ten minutes and quite an amount of sweat, I was about to indicate to Reece and his friends that I’d go buy a drink when he tapped me on the shoulder and motioned his head towards the bar. We walked to the gathering around it and I was already worrying my brain about how to get the attention of the bartender, but as soon as Reece appeared behind me, the eyes of all the girls were resting on him, as well as the bartender’s attention. I chuckled and was grateful for such good-looking company. Reece ordered two scotches. He glanced at me and I nodded reassuringly, even though scotch was not my favorite. But I wouldn’t complain. Reece handed me my drink and we danced our way back to the group. This evening wasn’t half bad; I was having a lot of fun and got an insight as to how Reece spent his usual party nights.

After about three hours later, Reece, one of the girls and I popped through the door frame of the club. I glanced at my phone for the time. It was close to half past two. The other three friends of Reece had left earlier because of various reasons which had been communicated through shouting. The fresh air revived my lungs and I sighed happily. I was tired and my muscles hurt, but it had been worth it. Smiling, I turned back to the girl and Reece. The girl smiled as well and explained, “I need to go now. Hafta work tomorrow. It sucks. Maybe I’ll see you again sometime…Sorry, what was your name? Jacob? Johnny?”

“It’s Jay. And yeah, I’d like to meet you again somewhere. Bye, then.”

She hugged Reece and stalked away in those incredibly high shoes. After we couldn’t