'Mum's First Lover', Harshavardhan C [spiritual books to read txt] 📗

I then opened the second page of the diary of Mr. Samarat and read it.

“At first I offer my sincere apologies to you Mr. Johnson for I came in between you and Rosaline” I was shocked on reading it.

I understood that Mr. Samarat was well aware of my painful past, even before he married me.

“Pardon me Rosaline knowingly I did a mistake of accepting you being already married and got forcible divorce from Mr. Johnson only to perform your marriage with me”

I was in quandary; and in a state of total confusion. Who really deceived me? It was not one, but certainly a long list, my dad, late my mum, Mr. Samarat, and finally Mr. Johnson. It wouldn’t have caused any pain usually, but they all played with my life as if I didn’t have heart and soul which have emotions and feelings too.

But, at the same time I couldn’t curse my fate, except simply blaming them. I was not a kid to be deceived; and not an illiterate to be wrongly briefed; and not a greedy woman for inheriting properties or status in the cosmopolitan society. Then why did I succumb to them? So, did I not responsible for ruining myself? And truly and honestly did I not ruin the lives of Samarat simply leaving John to fate? And did I not finally become instrumental for the death of Samarat? By knowingly or unknowingly what great did I achieve? Just pleading ignorance was also hypocrisy. No one needed to be blamed, but I only cursed myself for my most hated silence over life issues, keeping inhibitions in mind; and just lived in illusions. I then went through the next pages in his diary.

“Sorry, for keeping you in dark Rosaline as I am married to Dr. Julie and we begot a daughter, baby Catherin; but I again tied wed lock into your neck. This really looked something ugly rather peevish for both your dad and me Rosaline.

Your dad and you might be legally correct, but morally and ethically could I face you and Mr. Johnson?

And in my case I was both legally and morally wrong in spoiling the lives of two innocent maids. Even till this moment it remained as a hundred million dollar question for me to understand what for we did all these follies; and shall we really need this much play to be enacted in our lives?

Who was the loser? And who else was the gainer? I couldn’t understand Rosaline. And I suppose you too were innocent in this aspect.

But one thing was clear that in this game we were all losers. And in the universe, from times immemorial in the game of love, there were always more number of losers than the gainers. Every Parent like your dad and mum could think that their children were happy because they provided them everything. But at the same time they often forgot the fact that they could take a horse to the pond but they couldn’t make it to drink. It so happened in our case also.

Never I looked at you nor thought of you to enjoy. I was elder than you by ten years. And in fact I had been with you since your birth and most of the time I spent in carrying you on my shoulders. Then how could I enjoy sex with you Rosaline?

People might think that everything was possible within four walls. But love and lust couldn’t be the action between two visible organs, but certainly it was the influence of much felt experience with feelings and emotions, the products of mind which of course were invisible.

I knew that if I showed you any amount of sympathy, love and affection, it was certain that you would definitely succumb to me since you were chicken hearted. But I understood the weakness of the Indian spinsters as they were governed by customs and traditions rather, and they were not selfish in exhibiting their individuality. That was the reason why I created a scenario as I used to be a sadist and psycho husband, always interested to exploit new things from women through visualising pornography and raping the spinsters; and for making you believe and developed in you much hatred against me.

As a doctor I could detect that you consumed drug before you were pushed into nuptial suit; as I saw wrinkles below your eye brows; as that was not one time but under tremendous pressure you got edited to drug and you used to live in illusions.

Later I gathered your information about your love affair, secret marriage with Mr. Johnson; and your father blackmailing you to marry me otherwise he would commit suicide. Then I found out a solution for your problems. I used both modern medicine and advanced science and put you in delirium and during that time I hypnotized as if you were sexually assaulted by me much against your will and protest and you were in hallucination and misunderstood that you were enjoyed quite brutally by me; and conceived through me. Now it was only given to your prophecy to declare through whom you conceived and Master Rohit is born?

I whole heartedly let you free from my human bond to remarry and join Mr. Johnson along with your son Master Rohit.

And let us burry in ourselves and forget that what all happened was only a nightmare and not in our real lives.

May God bless you and your son? And my good wishes to you for the rest of your life with Mr. Johnson your finance cum hubby and the father of Rohit. Good bye forever Rosaline”

The last sentence and in the diary “and my good wishes to you for the rest of your life with Mr. Johnson, your finance cum former hubby and the father of Rohit” speaks volumes of the kind heart and a lovable soul of Mr. Samarat.

As Mr. Samarat rightly said that if he were to exhibit his real character and conduct, and which were known to any spinster, the latter would definitely sacrifice his fiancé or lover if any, but never miss a gentleman like him. Perhaps that was the reason why he enacted himself quite brutally and became villain in my looks.

I am extremely sorry; and pardon me Samarat for keeping much hatred towards a gentleman, besides a nobleman like you all through these years.

But, nothing happened as you wished. It was all over Samarat and the only thing remain in this world for me was I should be a widow forever with a broken heart not once but twice Samarat, and truly I deserved the curse of my fate for neglecting a true lover Mr. Johnson and a nobleman like you.

It was only possible to scribe in literature and to produce a film on the sacrifices of Mr. Samarat, but not in real lives. As he was both a doctor with a noble heart and besides a true lover, it was only possible for him.

He sacrificed his life leaving his wife and only daughter to fate, only to bring back my heaven. I had nothing to offer him except to express through three beautiful words “I love you”. But I miss you Samarat forever. It was indeed my bad luck. After all what the spinster expect in her life was only to get a loveable and gentle partner. As I could find more than such qualities in you, both John and I should have certainly sacrificed our love for you as your love was universal and much more pious than us and also it didn’t know greediness.

I had no words to express my repentance, for that matter by anybody in this world before the dead, who sacrifice their love for honouring other’s love considered being great, which was truly a great sacrifice.

I had nothing to spend for him as a token of respect, except tears rolling in my eyes.

Chapter: 31

    Mr. Anirudh returned home and by then the cops recorded the interrogation report of Honey. He read it and it was the same thing which Honey told him as per the murder of Jasmine was concerned.

In the meanwhile, he received phone call from the house of Mrs. Rosaline. Her house maid informed him the incident at the villa of Mrs. Rosaline.

He immediately informed police control room to send an Ambulance to the house of Rosaline at once and also few cops to guard the scene of occurrence.

Honey could see tension and painful feelings in the face of her dad. She suspected something serious might have happened there at the house of Rohit.

“Does anything go wrong at the bungalow of Rohit dad?”

“I am going to sort out the problem, you need not worry. And you just wait for the cops” He instructed the house maid to stay back in the bed room of Honey till the cops arrived home.

“I will also accompany you dad”

“No”

“If it is not so serious why are you not taking me dad?”

“I said no; please stay back at home and the house maid will take care of you”

“Okay I will stay back dad, but please tell me what the matter is?”

“Shut up, it is none of your business and keep yourself quite”

“If you don’t tell me I have a portion of cyanide left with me and I will swallow it dad” She threatened him emotionally.

“What? Where did you get it?” He got a clue and his police brain started working out sharply.

“From our laboratory only”

“When did you bring it home?”

“I can’t tell the exact date, but I brought it long back”

“Is it before the death of Miss. Jasmine?”

“Yes of course, but why are asking me suspiciously dad?”

“I am not asking, rather I have been interrogating you as a cop to fish out the name of the real accused. So it is confirmed that you have brought cyanide from your lab, and I think Rohit put it in the bed coffee served to Jasmine?”

“No dad”

“Then who did it? Rohit is the only person who is having access to our bungalow and others fear our gunmen and also patrolling dogs”

“He never came to our bungalow any day in the early hour’s dad”

“Then, tell me who else did it?” Time and again he insisted her.

“Certainly not Rohit dad’

“Then who else did it? Tell me Honey and you can’t hide it before me

Sorry I can’t tell you dad”

“Shut up, why are you dodging, come on tell me” He slapped her.

“Sorry dad I only put it”

“What? You dirty girl don’t speak a lie. I know it is your plan, but Rohit might have done it”

“Sorry dad, he is innocent and he doesn’t know. I have only done it”

“Are you mad or what? I think it is only to save Rohit you are only taking the blame, isn’t?”

“I am sorry dad, I am speaking truth only”

“Then tell me who put black cobra in the bed room of Jasmine?”

“I only throne it into her room dad”

“Just unbelievable, and I don’t think you are that courageous, come on tell me” He again slapped her and hold her tuff tightly as part of his interrogation.

She was scared on seeing the face of his dad. He became quite emotional. She couldn’t hide it any more.

“Rohit brought it and threw it into the room”

“Tell me when?”

“When Jasmine went to bath dad”

“You bloody liar, you said Rohit didn’t come in the early hours” He again slapped her.

“Sorry dad, Rohit only came by 0700hrs”

“Still I can’t believe it, and I can’t digest it Honey. I don’t find any reason for you to commit such a heinous crime. Further you both are cordial in relation and she also took the lead and performed your function in a grand gala as per our traditions and customs.