I'm Yours Only, Sophie J Brain [i am malala young readers edition txt] 📗

trusted you and you let me down and I think that that made me lose my faith in people. I won’t let you win anymore, you were a sick person and the world is better now that you can’t hurt people.”

She stayed at the graveyard for a while longer, looking the the mess of the grave. Flowers had been thrown around and mud had been kicked up, she supposed that she should make some effort to clean it, but she didn’t really want to.

She had realised over the last few days that since the attack she had begun to put people on a one time trust list. If someone let her down then she no longer saw them as someone worthy of trust, in some ways this was good philosophy, but in others it was bad. She never allowed people any mistakes, and she knew more than anyone that people made mistakes.

She hoped that one day she would go back to her old self, the one who cared for all people, and the one that was confident and strong. She didn’t feel very strong at the moment but she felt like she was on her way there.

She looked down on the ground and noticed a card that had been ripped; it was the only one that had been destroyed. She picked up and tried to read the contents of it. She let the card fall out of her hands; the card had been from her father, which meant he was probably the one who had destroyed the gravesite as well.

Nicky smiled, so he wasn’t as mad at her as he made out, she would speak to him once she got home. She picked up the only flower she could find that wasn’t broken and walked over to great great grandparents’ grave and placed the flower on top of it. With renewed energy she began the short walk home, mentally preparing what she would say to her father.

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

 

As they left their parent’s house Chris put his arm around Michelle. All in all that had gone rather well, she had told them about Paul but, while shocked at first, they had to admit that they were not overly surprised. It seemed that in Chris’ absence everyone else had seen something in his sister’s marriage that he had missed, yet another one of his failings.

He shook his head; he wasn’t going to think about that, he had spent too long with his head in the past, now it was time to look onto the future.

As they walked towards Manor Road, where Michelle lived, Chris found himself looking at the surrounding houses. The idea of moving back to Didcot was becoming more appealing with each step. He would have to see what happened with Nicky first but it was most certainly an option.

Michelle turned to him “thank you for being there today Chris, I wouldn’t have had the courage to do it without you.”

“You don’t need me Chelle” he replied.

She broke away from him and silence descended over them for a few minutes. He had always done his best to protect Michelle when they had been growing up. He was her older brother and he had taken the responsibility seriously, but as she got older he had realised that she didn’t need him any longer. His once younger sister had become his equal.

“Everyone needs their family Chris” she murmured “you need us as well; I wish you had never left.”

Part of him wished he hadn’t either; the only good thing about his move to Crowmarsh was meeting Nicky. The rest had been tainted by his behaviour towards her and the alienation of his family which had followed.

Nicky’s face swam in his mind and he smiled, he had never been much of a romantic before but something about her brought out that side of him.

They arrived at Michelle’s house and she let them both in. She walked into the lounge and sat heavily into an arm chair. Chris followed and sat opposite her “I might move back home.”

Her face erupted into a beam “Oh, Chris that would be excellent, we all miss you here. Gary was asking about you the other day.” Gary was their third cousin on their mother’s side, they shared the same great, great grandparents. As they were quite close in age Gary and Chris had spent most their childhood together but had drifted apart as they got older.

“How is he doing?” Chris asked.

“Really well I think” Chelle answered “he is still single but just got a promotion. He works in Reading now.”

Chris nodded, he would have to try and see Gary before he left at the end of the week. Family was beginning to take on a new meaning and he wanted to have as many of his around as possible.

“Is he still in the same place?” he asked.

“Yeah” she nodded and stood up “right I had better be going to bed, I feel so tired.” Chris helped her up the stairs and then made his way to the guest bedroom. The clock told him it was far too early for him to get any sleep so he decided to go for a walk instead.

He decided to go to the Prince of Wales pub, just opposite the railway station. As he walked along Manor Road and Lydall’s Road, he basked in the glow of familiarity; it was amazing how quickly one regressed to childhood. He had enjoyed going to Prince of Wales when he had been fresh out of school. Whenever he was home from university he was usually always found in there.

He arrived at the pub, bought himself a drink and sat down at a small table in the corner. It was fun to watch everyone else interact with their family and friends.

As he was finished his drink he heard a familiar voice ring out among the crowd. He looked over and saw Paul, Michelle’s estranged husband, sat with his friends.

Usually he was not one to cause problems but for some reasons he felt a need to speak with Paul. Chris stood and walked to his brother in law, slamming his glass on the table. Paul looked up and smiled “Chris, what you doing here?” How could he act like everything was normal? Wasn’t this the same man who had left his sister? “I’m visiting Michelle, you know, your wife.”

Paul sighed “I assume she told you what happened then.” “How could you leave her like that?” Chris demanded “she is about to give birth to your child.”

Paul stood up “whether she is or isn’t, I can’t help it if I don’t love her.”

Something about Paul’s soft tone angered Chris more, “outside” he shouted.

Paul followed him outside, and tried to reason with him “Chris, I could not help how I felt.”

Chris grabbed him by his shirt “you bastard.”

Paul pushed him away “she was unhappy too” he shouted “if you had been around then you would have seen it for yourself.” Chris felt a pang of guilt hit him, what was he doing? Hadn’t Michelle said that she was better now? Paul was right, he should have been around more, and then he would have seen it all for himself.

Chris held his hand out “I’m sorry.”

Paul shook it “so am I, I did try with Chelle you know, but nothing would have worked. We weren’t right for each other.”

Chris nodded; he knew that feeling well “I will leave you to get back to your drinks.”

He started to walk away but as he did his phone starting ringing. It was Michelle.

“Hiya, Chelle.” He answered.

His sister’s screaming on the other end of the phone made Paul rush back to him. “What’s happening?” he asked.

Before Chris had a chance to ask, Michelle shouted down the phone “Chris, get back now.”

“What’s wrong?” Chris asked urgently.

“I’m in labour, you idiot!”

 

When Nicky arrived home later that evening she took a moment for herself before entering. The last few days had been a whirlwind of emotion and she didn’t know which way to turn.

She knew she had to speak to her father but she had no idea how to broach the subject. From a child’s birth the parents are the first adult figures they know. A father’s duty was to look after his children, to show them what kind of people they should be and to protect them. So far her father had not let her down in any regard; he had supported her in everything she had wanted to.

Nicky had always got on well with her father, they shared common interests and as the baby of the family he tended to dote on her more, especially since her two siblings had left home. The incident with Kevin was something that had the power to make or break their closeness. It seemed that, no matter how long she had thought about it, not even she could have predicted the impact it could have on them.

With a slow breath she entered the house and walked into the kitchen, her mother was sat at the table with a cup of tea. It was hard to believe only that morning they had been crying together. So much had happened since then.

“Where’s dad?” Nicky asked.

Ingrid looked up with guilt in her eyes, Nicky knew that she felt awful for not believing her “he is in his man cave.” She answered.

Nicky nodded and walked towards her father’s room. It was actually a room that had been converted into a study for her father; her mother always called it his man cave.

She knocked lightly on the door and walked into the room. He was watching the television but turned at the sound of the door opening. His eyes looked tired and drawn “Nicky.” He greeted.

She walked into the room and closed the door behind her “what are you watching?”

“I don’t know” he admitted “my film finished a while ago, I just hadn’t turned it off.”

She sat down on the sofa next to him and stared ahead at the television. She recognised the show as a reality programme. “I went to the grave today.”

Geoffrey stiffened but didn’t reply. Nicky desperately tried to work out what he was thinking. She sighed “Greg had rushed off there after I told him what had happened, the grave had been almost destroyed. There was mud and flowers everywhere.”

He sighed “so you came to me?”

“Was it you?” Nicky asked.

Geoffrey stood up and paced the room “what do you want me to say? I went out for a walk and I happened to go past and something overpowered me. It wasn’t until I had finished that I realised what I’d done.”

“Why did you do it?” “Because I was angry” he snapped “you come out saying all these things and I don’t know what to think or what to do. I don’t know what’s true anymore.” Nicky stayed calm, she knew that her father needed time to process the news she had given him. She had had years to come to terms with what happened but he had had less than twenty four hours. She sat patiently while he composed himself and then spoke “I know it is a shock dad, I was shocked when it happened, but it did happen.”

Geoffrey didn’t speak but the look