I'm Yours Only, Sophie J Brain [i am malala young readers edition txt] 📗

a longing she could recognise. It was longing for someone you loved dearly, someone who you believed to be your soul mate. Nicky remembered that look from when he would see Eloise from across the room when they were in school, it made her feel ashamed for not seeing it over the last four years.

Greg left to go to the shop and Eloise sat back down “Ok, what did you want to tell me?”

Nicky's heart started beating, how could she say what she needed to? With her parents she had just blurted it out in an emotional outburst and then she had been forced to explain, but now she would have to actually say what happened in a calmer frame of mind.

“I need to tell you something.”

El smiled “You said that.”

Nicky stood up and paced the room “El, you were with Greg for a while before we left school right?”

El stood up with her, a worried expression on her face “Yes, a couple of months, but it was just sex I mean if you want to get back together with him then don't-”

“Oh no, it’s nothing like that” Nicky replied urgently, good Lord no. They had tried before to make their friendship more than it was. She did not want to try again and more to the point she was fairly certain she knew who her soul mate was. “It's just well, how were things with Kevin?”

Eloise shrugged “Never really saw him to be honest, he was away a lot, and when I did see him he was always quite nice. Why?”

Nicky stopped pacing for a moment, not sure how to proceed “So he always treated you well?”

Eloise walked up to her “Yes I never had any problems, why are you asking me anyway? I mean even if he had a problem with you, Nic, well he's not here anymore is he?”

Nicky swallowed “Was he ever overly friendly too you?”

El laughed “Well I guess, on occasion, he would flirt a little, but that was just Kevin wasn't it I mean he was always-” but then she must have seen something in Nicky's face because she slowly sat back down and her own face drained of colour “Oh my God, Nicky, what are you trying to tell me?”

Nicky sat back down and grabbed hold of her friend’s hands “Four years ago” she whispered, unable to reach a higher volume “he waited for me after school and he wanted to have sex with me, however he was not willing to take no for an answer.”

Eloise's eyes became misty “You poor thing, why didn't you tell me?”

Nicky shrugged, this is what she had always asked herself too. She didn't want to cause hostility between her parents and Kevin or Greg and Kevin but she could have told El, she would not have told Greg or her parents not if Nicky had asked her not to. “I got home that day and when I saw my family, they were so happy and I just couldn't tell them what had happened.”

Eloise hugged Nicky tight “You foolish girl” she murmured. “If you had told me I could have helped.” She pulled back but still held Nicky's shoulders “did you tell anyone?”

Nicky started to shake her head but stopped herself, she had told one person. “Yes, I told Mr Williams.”

Eloise blinked and moved her hands back to her sides “The student teacher? Why would you tell him?”

“Because he helped me just after it happened” Nicky replied “as I was running away I hurt my head, he helped clean the wound”

El still looked confused “But he never told anyone, isn't that the kind of thing teachers are supposed to tell?”

“For any other student he would have done” Nicky replied “but I asked him not to. Well actually I stopped him from going out and ripping Kevin's head off.”

Eloise opened her mouth to reply but suddenly gasped “Does this mean Greg doesn't know?”

Nicky shook her head “I will be telling him after you.”

“Oh poor Greg” El murmured “I hope he doesn't run, I hope he lets us help him.”

Nicky caught a glimpse of something in Eloise's eye that she could not place but before she could question it further El turned back to her. “What did you mean when you said for any other student he would have?”

“Well just that things were different between us that's all” Nicky replied quickly, she had intended to tell Eloise the truth about everything, this included her relationship with Chris, however now it had been brought into the conversations the words would not come out. “I saw him on his first day, well actually I bumped into him on his first day, we were friendly. At the time Chris had wanted to kill Kevin, I begged him not to do or say anything.”

“Chris!!” Eloise echoed “Nicky there is something else you aren't telling me.”

Nicky shrugged “We had a relationship of sorts”

Eloise looked at her in opened mouthed shock, finally saying “but he had a girlfriend, Greg used to eye her up every time she came to the school. I remember. She had blonde hair and he took her to ball.” Eloise's voice suddenly lacked conviction as something dawned on her. “He had a girlfriend that suddenly appeared out of nowhere around the time you started looking like a wet weekend.”

Nicky nodded but didn't say anything; she didn't see the need to.

Eloise stood up “He got engaged to her right in front of us, Mr Griffin announced it at the ball. Is that why you left?”

Nicky nodded again “It doesn't matter about all of that now, I've got over it. We have cleared the air and talked through it all.”

“When did this happen?” Eloise asked looking completely perplexed.

“Over the last two weeks” Nicky stood up and looked her friend in the eye “It's a bit of a long story, just bumping into him helped me realise I couldn't marry Boris. I don't know what will happen with me and Chris right now but I do know that I couldn't marry Boris when I know I could not love him as much as I could love Chris. Furthermore Boris doesn't love me, not really.”

El nodded “I'm glad you never married him Nic, I haven't seen you like this in years.”

“Like what?”

“Yourself” El replied with a smile “I just can't believe Mr Williams though, dating you while all the time he had a girlfriend of his own.”

“It was all a misunderstanding” Nicky murmured.

“What about the fact that he was a teacher?” El replied “he should have done the right thing and not started anything from you.”

Nicky laughed, El really was sweet when she was defending her friends, she placed a hand on Eloise's arm “I was seventeen, nearly eighteen, when I met him. At the time I was so sure I had met my true soul mate. Our first kiss was wanted by me just as much him and then we both tried to stay away from each other. Then, after Kevin's attack, he helped me and our feelings got the better of us. I agree that he should have told me about his girlfriend but I think a relationship would have started sooner or later. Hell, I was planning to wait until I left school so I could be with him that is how much I believed he was my true love, some part of me still does. I know you couldn't possibly understand El, I know you always say I'm crazy but one day you will fall for someone and you know that feeling but please don't think Chris abused his power because really we were just two people who fell for each other.”

Eloise blinked and sat down “You're not crazy” she whispered.

Nicky looked at her friend, she had the same look in her eye like before, she still couldn't place it. Then something struck her, it was the same look Greg had had before he left for the shop, it was the same look she had had when she used to see Chris from a distance. Eloise was madly in love with someone herself. Suddenly things started to fit into place, the way El had been so concerned about Greg letting them help him after the truth about Kevin came out. The way she always made sure she was looking ok when he was in the room and the way she had teased Nicky about him finding another woman after they had broken up, all those years ago. Eloise Sheffield was in love and she was in love with Greg, how Nicky had never noticed before she couldn't say, there were lots of things that had hinted to it. Nicky swallowed “El is it Greg?”

Eloise laughed but not before Nicky saw something pass along her face “Is what Greg?”

Nicky resisted the urge to smile, it was almost too perfect, Greg loved her and she loved Greg, why El was trying to hide it, Nicky wasn't sure. “Are you in love with Greg?”

“Of course no-” El started but then she saw Nicky's face and shrugged admitting defeat, her face twisting slightly. “Ok, maybe I do love him, but it doesn't matter. I know he wouldn't feel the same way.”

“What makes you say that?” Nicky asked, she wanted so much to tell El the truth, but Greg had forbidden her to. A promise was a promise after all and Nicky had never broken one that she had made to a friend, no matter how much she wanted to.

“Look at me Nicky” El scoffed “No one likes used goods; I've been with more men than I like to think about, who would love someone like that?” El let out a short breath, almost a laugh but not quite “the funny thing is that the only reason I started to be like this was because I liked Greg for so long and then you and him started something and I was so sure you would make a go of it. I know that sounds stupid but if I couldn't be with him then I didn't want anyone, at least not for the long term” this time she did let out a laugh “and now because of that I have made myself completely unlovable in his eyes.”

Nicky was silent for a long time, not quite sure what to say to Eloise, she wanted to say something to make it better but none of the words would form, finally she murmured “you are so sure he wouldn't love you?”

“I'm sure he can't” El retorted.

“We can both tell him together” Nicky answered excitedly “I'll go with you and you can tell him that you love him.”

“No I can't tell him, I won't” Eloise cried “and you must promise not to tell him either.”

Nicky almost cried in frustration, she had two people saying that they loved each other and both had sworn her to secrecy. A smile spread across her face as a plan began to form, a perfect way to make both of her friends happy, she turned to El “Tell me” she murmured slowly “what would you do if your two best friends told you that they loved each other, but both of them made you promise not to tell the other person. Would you let them both stay alone and unhappy or would you break your promise and tell the truth so they could be happy?”

Eloise didn't understand at first then she let out a small smile “Are you saying that Greg is in love with me?”

“No I'm not saying that, I could never say that” Nicky said shaking her head “but I am asking you to please let me tell Greg that you love him.”

Eloise's smile spread into a full beam and Nicky could tell that for the first time in years her friend truly felt amazingly happy. Nicky hugged her and quickly said goodbye and left the house, now it was time for the hard bit, now it was time to tell Greg.