Everything That Glitters Ain't Gold, Danielle Martin [best books to read all time .TXT] 📗

knew for sure that I lost you…” Her chest tightened after Blake’s face unwillingly popping up in her head. She hated thinking about that day… That day changed her life for the worst…

 “Ava, I never knew what it meant to be heartbroken…. Until I lost you… I treated you so bad over the years. You didn’t deserve any of that…”

She winced. Hearing him mention the past was like twisting the knife that was still inside her back. She hadn’t gotten over it yet. She hadn’t gotten over the suffering she had endured.

“I tried to kill myself, Ava…”

Silence.

She gasped. Her loud inhale was the only sound she could hear after they both fell silent. That was the very last thing she expected to hear. Ava stepped back and covered her mouth with her hands. “Oh my God!” She exclaimed.

 Desean sulked, his confession saddening him even more.

“What are you talking about Desean???” she shouted at him. “What do you mean you tried to kill yourself??? Why would you do that to yourself??? Have you lost your mind???? Are you insane???”

Desean cowered back, allowing her to berate him. Ava was now gasping for breath, instantly freaking out on him. She couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth.

“Just let me finish please…” Desean continued before she could yell at him some more. “Yes…. I did lose it, Ava… I was drinking really bad after you left. I put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger. The gun jammed.” Her jaw hung wide open as she silently listened to him confess. He finished. “I figured maybe I’d drown myself. I drove all the way to the Pine Grove Bridge with shackles tied to my feet. It wasn’t until I got there and sat on the edge of that ledge that I realized…. Life is worth living… And I knew if I jumped off that bridge and killed myself, I would never see your face again to tell you how sorry I am. I couldn’t go out like that, Ava… and I haven’t picked up a drink since that night…”

“Oh my God…” she spoke into her covered mouth once again. She had instantly became astounded. Typically, Ava knew what to expect from Desean. This was different. This was different than anything she had experienced with him before.

Desean continued. “My father was an alcoholic. My mother was an alcoholic. They both died because of it. On that day Ava, I swore to myself I would not be anything like them. I’ve been seeing a therapist. I even went back to church. I’m getting my life right with God and with myself.”  

Ava listened with open ears. For the first time, she was hearing him in ways she never heard him before. He sounded so damn believable. “Wow…” she murmured, confusingly shaking her head. His confession had become extremely heavy on her heart.  “I don’t understand…I just can’t believe you’ve done a complete 360 in such short amount of time. What do you want from me now???” she threw her hands up in the air as if searching for a clue. “Am I supposed to take you back out of guilt??? I tried. I tried really hard Desean. I’ve given all of my love to you. I’m all ran out. I don’t have any more to give…”  she held out her hands, showing him they were empty. Indeed, she loved him… But he needed to know the truth… she wasn’t in love anymore… She was in love with someone else…

Desean nodded his head. To her surprise, he did not turn combative. “I knew there wasn’t a chance for us. I’m not trying to get you back, Ava. I talked to my pastor last Sunday and he has been helping guide me in the right direction. I’m excited to give my life to God and start going back to church… I’m just missing something very important….” he paused and looked her deep in the eyes. “I am missing your forgiveness…”

She paused and shot him a disoriented look. Ava was taken aback by his response. “My forgiveness???” she repeated him. “That’s it??? All you want is my forgiveness???’”

Surprisingly, Desean smiled warmly. “I’m working on self-acceptance. I’m working on confronting my demons instead of drowning them with alcohol. I love you, Ava but I could not allow my love for you to be the cause of my demise….”

She stared at him with wide eyes, having a difficult time accepting what he was saying. She saw no deception. No anger in his eyes.  He was different. He was softer. Guilt-ridden and conscience. She could see it all over.

Ava took a deep breath. “Wow... If you’re acting as usual, you’re doing a pretty damn good job this time.” Ava insulted him while complimenting him at the same time.

Desean chuckled. He didn’t take offense to her joke. “I was hoping you would say that. Maybe now, you will realize how serious I am…”

Ava grew silent for a moment, her entire life flashing before her eyes. This was really it. The time had finally come. No more arguments. No more pain. No more secrets. And now Desean was focusing on getting himself clean which was everything she hoped and prayed for from the beginning. Slowly, her lips crept into a smile and a warm feeling spread across her chest. She stepped up and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Desean, I have no hate in my heart for you." she finally spoke. "I will always have love for you and wish you nothing but the best in life…. If it is my forgiveness that you seek, then it is yours...." Suddenly, it felt as if a ton of bricks had been lifted off her shoulders. This had been weighing heavy on her for far too long.

Desean’s face immediately lit up. “Thank you so much!” he exclaimed. "You have no idea how much that warms my heart... Now I can close this chapter and finally move on…" He stepped forward and hesitantly held out his arms. "I know this is too much to ask… But can I have a hug??? One last time???" he asked the question as if he were nervous to ask. Ava looked down at his extended arms. For a moment, she contemplated whether or not accepting his advance was a good idea. She held her breath and slowly stepped forward. "I guess..." she answered. Desean smiled, pulled her in and wrapped her up in a hug. Surprisingly, he didn't pull her too close or touch her sexually. He hugged her softly, rubbing her back. "Thanks Ava. Thank you for everything you have taught me...."

Ava smiled with her chin resting on his shoulder. His words meant so much to her. More than he would ever know. He had received his closure. Thankfully, she had gotten hers too

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 26

Chapter 26.

 

2 years later

 

“By the power vested in me by the State of North Carolina, I now pronounce you husband and wife… You may kiss your bride.”

Tears welled up in the corner of Ava’s eyes but she quickly brushed them away before they could ruin her makeup. She smiled through her sniffles while gazing at the reverend who stood at the front of the church. It had been a long, beautiful ceremony. The church was spacious and accommodating to the large amount of guests. Now everything was coming to an end. The deal was being sealed. Ava smiled from ear to ear as she gazed at the most beautiful bride she had ever seen. Her gown flowed down in beautiful waves splashing across her feet. The dress was embroidered with sapphire diamonds and hugged her hips, giving her an elegant and classy look. The bride was also teary eyed as the groom reached forward to remove her vail. Ava sat front and center in the first row. Her heart warmed watching him lean over and indulge his new wife in a sweet, passionate kiss. The church erupted in applause. The reverend lifted his hands in the air to make his final announcement. “I now present to you…. Mr. and Mrs. Lance and Jade Jenkins!!!” He raised both of their hands high in the air introducing them as a married couple for the first time. Ava stood to her feet and clapped with tears rolling down her cheeks. This wasn’t even her wedding and she was crying hysterically.

“Congratulations Lance and Jade!” Ava shouted out to the couple who was waving at the crowd. Ava’s cheek bones were beginning to hurt because she was smiling so hard. She couldn’t believe this day had finally come. Lance had been bragging about marrying her best friend since the day the two hooked up. Finally, he had made good on his word and put a ring on it. Ava stared longingly at the beautiful couple.  They both smiled at each other gazing into each other’s eyes. She had never been so happy for Jade in her life. That woman deserved love, happiness and so much more and also looked stunningly beautiful in her dress. Lance turned out to be the perfect man for her. He was so loving, dedicated and committed to making her happy. Within 2 years, he had built Jade a large beautiful 2 story home from the ground up and also gave her the dream wedding that she had always wanted. Ava chuckled underneath her breath after remembering that could have been her standing up there next to Lance dressed in that beautiful wedding gown. Everything happened for a damn good reason and to Ava’s surprise, it all worked out for the better in the end. She was content with life. Living happily single with no regrets. She smiled and glanced over to the older woman standing next to Lance and Jade. They both requested no grooms or bridesmaids for the ceremony and Ava absolutely respected their decision to stand alone. But the woman standing next to them had a unique exception. She was an elderly woman cradling a small sweet bundle of joy in the center of her arms. Smiling, the woman walked over to Lance and Jade and handed them the infant baby she was holding in her arms. Immediately, Jade smiled and turned around and scooped up the little bundle who was wrapped up in a pink and yellow blanket. She turned back to Lance and together they gazed down, staring as if they were madly in love. Again, tears forced themselves out the corner of her eyes as Ava looked at how happy they were together. Finally, Jade had everything she hoped and prayed for. A man who loves her. A happy marriage. A beautiful home. And a beautiful sweet 2-month old baby girl named Jadalina Hazel Jenkins.  

After a few minutes had gone by, Ava noticed several men swarm the stage to congratulate Lance. He laughed as his boy’s bum rushed to get to him. “Congrats my man!” they all surrounded him, patting him on the back and shaking his hand. Ava stood to her feet, deciding she should get to the bride before she was also surrounded. She hopped up and headed straight towards where Jade was standing.

“Congratulations best friend!” she shrieked upon approaching. “I am so happy for you!” Ava threw her