Lost to You, - [romantic novels in english TXT] 📗
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Red-faced, I scratched the back of my neck, knowing no matter what answer I gave, it’d be the wrong one. If I lied, she’d know, and I knew there was no way she’d be okay with the truth.
“Come on, Elizabeth . . . I just asked if you wanted to go to dinner with me.”
“So, you’re saying you don’t want to sleep with me?”
Frustration tumbled from my mouth in a strained groan. Still, I couldn’t lie to her.
Like it wasn’t obvious how badly I wanted to take her back to my place and coax that blush from every inch of her body. “That’s not what I said.”
She leaned down to her backpack that was sitting on the floor and slid her things into it. Her face was lifted to look up at me as she did. “Well, then, Christian, I think it’s safe to say I’m not the kind of girl you’re looking for.”
The sharp peal of her zipper announced her departure.
I really couldn’t remember ever being turned down before. I’m sure I had, but it’d made little impact on me, something forgotten as I’d immediately moved on to the next and better thing.
This slammed me.
I could do nothing but stare at Elizabeth as she stood and slung her backpack over her shoulders. It wasn’t a sensation I was familiar with, the bite of rejection, but now it had me pinned to my chair.
Why the hell did this bother me so much?
She reached up and pulled out her hair trapped by her backpack, gripping the bulk of it in a fist that she ran down the length. It spread out in a soft wave over one shoulder as she released it.
I swallowed.
God, looking at this girl and not being able to touch her was complete torture.
“I’ll see you around,” she said, taking a step toward the door. She twisted to look at me, walking backward as she spoke. “If you don’t find anything better to do Friday, I’ll be studying. You have my number.”
She grinned, and all I could do was laugh. I was definitely not expecting that.
She spun back around, and for the first time, I was able to appreciate her perfect ass in those tight jeans.
No, I definitely didn’t have anything better to do on Friday night.
Shit.
I was in so much trouble.
“It’s a date,” I hurried to call after her.
She swung the door open, shaking her head with a small laugh. “No, Christian, it’s not.”
Oh, he was so off limits. So unbelievably off limits.
The door to the café shut behind me with an echo of his throaty laughter tickling my ears.
I hit the sidewalk, hurrying to put some space between us. I had five more minutes I could have stayed before I needed to leave for my next class, but I was getting out of there before he talked me into something I would definitely regret.
People swarmed around me as I cut a path against the flow of the approaching crowd. I muttered unheard apologies toward my feet, edging off to the right and blending in with the bodies heading back toward campus.
I hiked my backpack higher and tried to rid my mind of him.
There was no way I could allow myself to get lost in this guy, and by the thoughts that smile had left swirling through my head—that stomach-flipping, heart-lurching, earth-shattering smile—I knew just how easily I could.
Oh God.
Christian Davison had to be the most gorgeous guy I’d ever seen.
The second I noticed him walking through the door, I’d been caught in the darkness concealing his face, the halo of light streaming in behind him partially casting his face in shadows.
It was as if my body knew what hid behind them was worth waiting to discover.
And damn, if it wasn’t right.
The door had slipped shut when he inched forward, swallowing the shadows and revealing an unruly shock of the blackest hair I’d ever seen. Pair that with those blue eyes, and I was lost.
They were so intense.
So unsettling.
His jaw was all sharp angles and hopelessly losing the battle with a coat of coarse stubble that was just as dark as the hair on his head.
But his mouth was flirty and soft—full—something to smooth out the severity of everything else.
It was the first time in my life I’d had the urge to reach out and touch a complete stranger, to run my fingertips over his jaw, maybe across his lips, wondering how his skin would feel under mine—wondering how I would feel doing it.
For a moment, he’d searched the room, before recognition had dawned on his face when his eyes landed on me, his stride purposed as he’d walked my direction.
Each step he’d taken had radiated confidence, those lips curving with an arrogance as he approached.
It only took a couple of seconds for me to understand why his presence had seemed to fill up the entire room. Why he’d seemed to stop time when he walked through the door.
The guy was completely full of himself.
It’s not like I was all that experienced, but I wasn’t stupid, either. I knew exactly what Christian wanted. It had gleamed in his eyes and rippled through his muscles. I wasn’t opposed to guys—to having a boyfriend or someone who cared about me.
What I was opposed to was giving myself to someone like him.
The man would own me with one passing touch, and I was certain that’s exactly what it would be.
Passing.
The last thing I needed my first year in college was to get my heart broken by a boy who was undoubtedly after one thing. I didn’t work this hard to get here to get my heart trampled.
After all the sacrifices I had made I wasn’t about to do something so foolish.
Giving up on most activities my friends had reveled in—the parties, the shopping, the fun—in favor of studying and striving to win every scholarship I could earn.
The extra hours my mother had worked to scrape together a few extra dollars, every grant I’d applied for, and every student loan I had to one day pay back.
I’d worked too hard to waste my time here.
A complication like Christian Davison was something I definitely didn’t need.
But man, was he pretty.
The really irresponsible side of me thought it’d be worth the risk.
Something reckless and completely unlike me to add to the list of cherished college memories.
A fling with a boy who would so obviously make me forget myself.
One glimpse of his sure hands and strong body left no question that he would make me experience things I’d never experienced before.
A shiver traveled down my spine and pooled somewhere in my stomach.
Shaking myself out of it, I forced that dangerous train of thought aside.
I knew myself better than that. It wouldn’t be a cherished memory, but something that would eat at me for years.
I didn’t do flings.
I fell in love, and falling in love with someone like Christian was a mistake I couldn’t afford.
But if I could somehow put the unknown longing he created in me aside, I realized I liked him. I liked the way he seemed to get lost in thought, disappearing somewhere deeper beneath the façade I doubted few people ever penetrated. I could almost feel it, an undercurrent of vulnerability there beneath his perfect exterior.
Maybe that’s what he needed, someone to look past that gorgeous face and his arrogant smile. Maybe he needed a friend in this city as much as I did.
We’d see.
The rest of the week passed in a blur. Every time I stepped out my apartment door, I still found myself in awe, amazed by this city. As much time as I’d spent hoping for it—working for it—there was a part of me that never believed I’d make it.
Even though living here was a lifelong dream, it had taken some getting used to. The mass of people at every turn. The buildings that towered on every side.
There were times when I felt closed in, like the sky could crash down on me and I’d have nowhere to run. But for the most part, I loved it and reveled in this city that I had only known in pictures and movies.
When my last
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