Transparent, Soccerluv4 (: [best mobile ebook reader .txt] 📗

too late. But that was still no excuse for torturing him.

As I was mentally scolding myself, I saw that he’d already walked off.

I walked behind him this time, willing that a little space between us would be healthier for him than trying to defend myself or apologize.

When I finally reached the car, he was already buckled in, staring straight ahead.

I walked over to the driver’s side, pulling out my keys.

I started the ignition, and the car revved to life. Pulling out of the street, I made a U-turn and headed home.

The entire ride back was just as same as the ride there: silent. Though this time, I almost wished it was more awkward silence than angry silence.  I wanted to say something, anything to make him feel better, but my mouth stayed shut. For once in my life, I was tired of my mind being so rational all the time.

When we got back to the house, Reece wanted out so bad that he stepped out of the car even before I’d properly parked it. I couldn’t blame him though, if I were him, I’d hightail it out of there too.

I watched his figure retreat to the house, but I kept myself planted there in the car.

A tear escaped my eye, falling pathetically on my cheek.

“Tears? Real strong Cass, real strong,” I scoffed at myself, wiping the tear in haste.

But it was no use. Once one fell, it was a torrential downpour. I placed my head on the steering wheel between my hands, and cried my eyes out.

My body shook violently, as sobs I didn’t know I could possess rippled out of me one after another. These tears weren’t just for Reece’s anger. Among those tears, I cried tears of pain, tears of rejection, tears of fear.

Maybe it was wrong of me to use my safety as an excuse, but as I cried in that car, I realized that that wasn’t the only reason why I was pushing him away.

My mind flashed back to high school, a truly horrendous time of my life. Though it hadn’t always been that way.

It’s a known fact that nobody leaves high school without a few scars, even the alpha’s daughter.

Living in the shadow of my brother was hard, but I eventually got over it. I loved him nonetheless, but it always hurt whenever people used me to get to him, or outright shut me out because there was a better Knight kid to be friends with.

Like father, like son I assume. My brother was always the hot shot. Not only was he varsity football captain for the last two years of high school, he was also class president, and – not too surprisingly – voted most like to succeed and most attractive male by his senior class. I would be lying if I said I didn’t envy the guy. But I was never short listed either. I was valedictorian of my class, debate team captain, and speech team captain. You could say I took after my mom on that. Though I was blessed with her brains and beauty, I made no show of it, and I guess that was what landed me in with the rest of the “regular kids.”

That was, until that one stupid night.

You know what they say to victims: they were asking for it, it was because of their clothing, and vice versa.

I laughed, bitterly, as my eyes blurred with more tears.

So what was my excuse? Well, none of the usual ones fit.

I should’ve let my friends do whatever the heck they wanted. Why did I have to care so much about what stupid things they would do that night? Maybe if I hadn’t cared…

Shaking my head, I hung it down. As much as I willed myself to believe that if I’d done something different, I was basically slaving myself to the same people that tell the victims that “they were asking for it.”

I brushed away a few tears that managed to slide down, and grabbed the steering wheel with both hands. It was my futile attempt at steadying myself.

But I found myself slumped down again, as my body shook with more sobs, my arms hanging lifelessly from the wheel.

To be honest, it could’ve been hours or just mere minutes long that I’d been sitting out there crying.

After wiping Niagara falls away from my eyes, I looked over to my house and saw the porch light turn on. Looking out my window, I realized that dark was fast approaching. Since the sensor in the light had turned on already, I’m assuming it was somewhere around 5 or 6.

Sighing, I grabbed my purse, phone, and keys and stepped out of my sanctuary and back into the real world.

I straightened my spine and inhaled in a few fresh breaths of forest air before moving towards the house.

Walking as fast as I could, I slipped inside and tip-toed up the stairs as quietly as possible. When I reached the top, I checked behind me to see if anyone had heard. Satisfied that nobody was behind me, I turned back around.

When I reached the top of the stairs, I glanced over to the right at the door across from mine. Yesterday, I found out that Reece would be staying in one of the guest rooms, which was conveniently located across from my room. Unfortunately, that would make my job a lot harder if he was just a few mere steps away.

Something willed me to turn to my right and stand in front of the door. I raised my fist to knock, but all I could do was let it hover.

Pulling my hand down, I turned around and walked into my room, giving one last look at the door, as if I could maybe catch a glimpse of the tortured alpha I’m responsible for.

********

A knock resounded on my door, waking me out of the trance like state I was in at the moment.

The minute I’d gotten into my room, I’d changed into comfortable sweats and spent the last hour sitting and contemplating the level of bitchiness I’ve displayed in the last day.

I concluded with 10: the worst.

Groaning, I got off the bed, pulling the sleeves of my hoodie up to my elbows.

I opened the door tentatively, peeking a head out to see who it was. Unfortunately, or fortunately for my inner wolf, I came face to face with Reece.

“Your mother asked me to call you for dinner,” he said dully, his expression as flat as the one he left me with after the diner incident.

“Right, I’ll be down in a second,” I said quietly.

He nodded stiffly at me, before turning around and heading down the hall. I watched him go for a second longer than I’d want to admit, before pulling my head inside.

Closing the door, I turned around and placed a hand on my forehead.

You’re such a bitch Cass, I retorted in my mind.

Sighing, I went over to my bathroom and washed my face and hands. Looking at my reflection, I could see a girl I would’ve pitied a few days ago. This girl was vulnerable, weak, and in need of some serious guys-are-douches talk.

Lifting my shoulders, I tried to look as confident as I could, but it only lasted a few seconds. My shoulders slumped back to their previous state. By this point, I was too tired to care.

Slugging down the stairs, I tried my best to not look as miserable as I felt.

When I reached the dining room, everyone was already seated. My dad was at one end of the table, and my mother was at the other. My brother was sitting next to my dad’s left, and to his left was Ellie, who was staying over because her parents would be out of town for two days.

Reece was sitting opposite my brother, and it seemed the only empty seat left was next to him. I almost groaned in annoyance.

“So glad of you to join us stranger,” my dad quipped.

I rolled my eyes at my dad, and walked over to him, placing a small kiss on his cheek.

“Hey dad.”

Walking over to my seat, I saw Reece visibly stiffen.  I clenched my jaw as his scent engulfed my senses.

Sitting down, I watched my mom and dad take servings, passing the food onto the next. The entire time, I was extremely aware of Reece next to me. It was hard not to. When his scent wasn’t driving me crazy, the tension between us sure was. If anybody noticed, nobody seemed to say anything. I took that as a good sign for now.

“So, how was visiting the town Cassie?” my mom spoke up once we’d all gotten our food.

“It was good. I saw Helen,” I said quietly, hoping Helen would distract her from asking any probing questions.

“Really? How nice! Anything else? Did you see some shops?” she continued, bypassing my distraction with ease. I groaned silently. When it comes to my mom, there was no hiding anything.

“We went to a few stores Luna Knight. And then we decided to grab a bite at a diner,” Reece’s voice spoke up.

I nodded at her, attempting a smile. Her eyes were wary, but she seemed to buy it when she turned away and started asking my dad some things.

The conversation seemed to slip into pack business, and the other four were talking amongst themselves, barely noticing that neither I nor Reece had touched a thing from our plates or contributed to the conversation in any way.

Eventually, it seemed Reece couldn’t handle the tension any longer and began to act like nothing had happened. He’d started eating and even started participating in the conversation.

I pushed my food around my plate, until I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Mom?” I asked quietly. “I’m not feeling too well, may I be excused?”

My mom’s eyes were the size of saucers. When it came to mine or Alex’s health, she was all “protective mother.”

“Honey what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing really. I just, I’d like to lie down please,” I said softly.

“Of course sweetheart, would you like me to take you upstairs?”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll manage,” I said hastily, getting up from my seat.

I walked quickly up the stairs and into my room. When I was sure I was alone, I walked inside my room and shut the door.

Suddenly, my body felt hot, probably the remnants of that uncomfortable situation downstairs. I quickly tore off my sweats and changed into an old extra-large t-shirt I had that I was given at a volunteering job I’d done. At first I had no use for it whatsoever, until one day I wore it to bed and it’d been my favorite thing to wear to bed ever since. Usually I wore it if I lived alone, but considering I have a house full of people living with me at the moment, I wouldn’t risk accidentally being walked in on in an outfit with no pants. But today, I was too bothered to care. That and I needed a little extra comfort from today’s horrible dinner.

That dinner had to be the most awkward moment of my life. I couldn’t even stand to sit next to him.

My heart stung all of a sudden, as I realized it was the result of the heartache my inner wolf was feeling.

Sighing, I walked over to my bed and laid down, replaying today’s events over and over in my head.

Not once had I ever been so affected by a man before in my life. Well, not positively anyway.

I whisked that thought away before any new tears could spring from my eyes.

Closing my eyes, I willed myself to think of a world where I wasn’t afraid of men, where I didn’t have to worry about Reece, and where I didn’t have to go through what I had.

Eventually, before I knew it, I was asleep, dreaming of a world where nobody could hurt me.