Eric, Jody Kaye [well read books TXT] 📗
- Author: Jody Kaye
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“Your lame excuse for a bestie went home. You’ll have to call him to make sure your outfits today are all matchy-matchy.”
“Stop being a bitch, B. Where are the twins?”
“Eric took off outside and Colton followed.” Waving me off, my sister goes back to flipping through a magazine.
I toss my chin at Daveigh who finishes filling me in on what I’ve missed. When she’s done, I lurch through the kitchen toward the door to the morning porch trying to pretend I’m not chasing after my brothers.
“Is it too late to say good morning to your momma?” She has six graduation gowns folded over her arms. My pace slows and I walk over to kiss her cheek. She smells the latent whiskey on my breath and grips my chin. “I do not have time for this discussion today, you take my meaning?”
I nod, cursing myself for not showering or, at least, brushing my teeth before coming down.
“Brier, Ginny is up in the den. Make sure she is okay. Daveigh, I need help ironing these. Adam, when you find your brothers tell them to get back to the house so we aren’t late.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I reach for the doorknob.
“And, Sugar, go easy on him.”
Go easy on him. What is that supposed to mean?
But then I realize I’m angry with Eric. I depend on him to be…dependable. The middle brother is the one quint who doesn’t need looking after, or so I’d thought. It is hard enough to keep up with Brier’s lies, bad boys chasing Daveigh because she’s too sweet for her own good to know any better, and keeping Colton out of trouble. Hell, I played four seasons of high school football, not to pal around with Drew, but to make sure that loose cannon brother of mine didn’t get out of control on the field. It gave Eric a chance to have a life of his own without having to keep tabs on his twin.
I walk past the pond, noticing two figures in the meadow atop of a lone circular bale of hay remaining from last year’s mowing. During my approach, I’m thinking of the ways I’d let Eric down by not focusing more on him. This is the kind of big brotherly attention Eric never needed because the kid had everything figured out since the five of us were in utero. That’s been the best part of being his brother; I could relax and not worry he’d make a dumb move.
“I’m still stunned she did it intentionally.” Colton plays with the gauge in his left ear.
“I don’t know what to do, C.”
“Seems to me at this point your options are pretty limited. December is too close for her to, you know, take care of it.”
All of a sudden, Colton goes flying off the hay, landing in a heap on the green grass. He doesn’t take the time to brush himself off. His arm coils back, posturing from the distance below Eric.
“What the hell did you do that for? I should hit you, you stupid shit! Here I am trying to be all supportive. How the hell was I supposed to know you had a thing against someone getting rid of a baby?”
“It’s not that!” Eric yells. “I’m just not ready to be anybody’s daddy…” His voice softens and trails off.
“Maybe nobody is?” I interject, understanding Ginny’s blindsided Eric. My anger turns to sympathy as Momma’s advice sinks in. “Ever wonder how Daddy must’ve felt when he found out about us?”
“The situation is completely different. He and momma knew what they were doin’.” Colton remains defensive.
“Okay, so Daddy thought he was getting the two of you lousy pinheads and wound up with me, Daveigh, and Brier.”
“Daveigh’s an angel,” Eric comments.
“And Brier more than makes up for that.” I remind them. “S’not like Daddy had the chance to say they should wait for a more convenient time for the rest of us to be born. Not like you have a choice in the matter anymore. So use the time to get ready. How hard could one baby be?”
“Brier, dumbass,” Colton remarks, forsaking he’s not much better.
“Fuck, is it too soon to hope against hope some of Daveigh’s genes get passed on to the kid?” Eric turns his sights to the sky.
I toss my chin at Colton. “Well, only the two of you were—and are—terrors. At least, you’ve got the odds on your side, Eric.”
My youngest brother’s lip curls, but he agrees with the last statement.
“Momma’s looking for you, by the way. We gotta get back to the house and get ready.”
Eric jumps off the hay bale, landing nose to nose with me.
“She’s gonna be lookin’ to take pictures today, so put on your happy face.” I slap Eric playfully on the cheek. He tries to pull away, but I fist the back of his head, forcing our forehead together so Eric will look at me. “You need anything, little brother, I’m right here for you. Hear me?”
“I got it.” We hug and Colton places a hand on Eric’s shoulder to give him added strength.
The moment doesn’t last long. Sentimental ones between us never do. Although, they reinforce we’ll do whatever it takes to have each other’s backs.
“Come on ladies,” Colton saunters across the field, “the woman doesn’t need another reason to whoop our asses today.”
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6
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Eric won’t acknowledge my existence, yet I haven’t been left alone in this house. After Alan’s embarrassing tirade where he asked for restitution, the Cavanaughs probably think I’ll steal some Kingsbrier heirloom to pawn.
It’s getting late in the day. We have to be at the high school auditorium soon. I’m hardly in the mood for a celebration. One by one, Miss Rose helps us into our black robes. Brier is first. Then Daveigh and finally me.
“You girls look lovely.” Rose tucks a lock of my blonde hair behind my ear.
She’s wistful. Although, I’m not sure if it’s more at the idea of her children graduating in a few hours or that she’s about to be a grandmother. Her eyes linger on my middle.
“You’re such a slight girl. No doubt you’ll be showing soon.”
I guess it’s hard to believe no one had figured it out on their own.
“Miss Rose, I don’t know why you are being so kind to me, but thank you.”
Behind me, Daveigh glowers toward our image in the mirror’s reflection. Brier never stops putting on her strappy white heeled sandals. Nothing affects her.
Rose sighs. “Everyone’s being angry out loud. Mine’s just silent. Don’t doubt it’s there, Ginny. You won’t ever win my trust again until you regain Eric’s and that won’t be easy. I’ve simply had a bit more time to process this than everyone else, to think about it, and understand it is senseless to vilify you based on one mistake. No matter how bad it is, maybe it came at the right time for me. I have to let go, not try and live my children’s lives for them. ‘Sink or swim’ that’s what Ross says about the next few years. Perhaps this is my first lesson in stepping back, relinquishing whatever control I thought I still had on you kids.” She glances at her daughters. “It’s not something I relish. Knowing someone, no matter what their intentions were, set out to hurt one of my children doesn’t sit well with any mother. You’ll figure out for yourself soon enough because this baby will be like your heart living outside your body. Who was protecting you, though, I ask? And who is making sure my grandchild grows up happy and healthy, knowing they are loved, if I’m not the first one to set the example?”
Ross Cavanaugh clears his throat. If this was an agreed upon parenting tactic so their five children all hear the same speech as I do, it was well choreographed. His sons have filtered in the room. The boys wear their caps and gowns over shirts and ties similar to the one their father has under his suit jacket.
“Dayum, y’all look fine.” Brier pipes up, winking at her daddy so as not to be told to watch her mouth.
Ross shakes his head. “Give you an inch, girl, and you take a mile. Although, if I hadn’t hated hearing the word ‘no’ at your age there’d be no business for you kids to take over,” he says. “Let’s get a move on. Half the graduating class is standing here. We’ll be lucky if we can fit everyone in two cars.”
“What about buying one of those old conversion vans with carpeting on the walls?” Colton suggests. He dances out of the room shaking his moneymaker and singing, “Bow-chicka-wow-wow.”
“Ew, gross!” Daveigh joins the procession, pushing her baby brother out of the way. I hear her whisper she’s riding with her father so she doesn’t wind up sitting in the back of her mother’s Lexus. With me.
My feet won’t budge and I’m left standing alone with Eric who studies the nap of the carpet.
Never once did I figure he’d be overjoyed to hear I was pregnant. Of course, if we’d waited until after marriage, his reaction would have been different. If I could go back and change the choices I made I would. I’ve replayed in my mind the image of an older Eric, secure in his smile and with a blush on his cheeks as he realizes we’ve made a baby together. It’s such a fallacy. So was thinking Eric would be a little accepting and over time become a lot happier?
Tipping my hand and admitting I’d gotten pregnant so we’d always be together hadn’t occurred to me until my stepfather became irrational toward Eric. Alan blames him for getting us into this situation. In reality, it was my own awful way of trying to hang onto the only thing that’s filled my life with any joy. I hadn’t done it with malice, nor had I thought through the consequences until it was too late to change my mind. Having already ruined the long-term, exposing myself to ridicule justifies my loathsome actions. If Eric hates me, he should know what he’s hating me for.
“The last thing you want to do is hear me out, but if you’re standing here, then maybe I have the chance to tell you I’d already changed my mind. I was sure the double lines on the first test I bought were wrong. Petrified, I went back to Richardson’s Market to purchase two more before accepting the truth. I’ve single-handedly ruined our lives and I didn’t have the courage to tell you. I accept you’ll never believe I loved you at all, but please, Eric, don’t throw us away.”
“I’m mad. I can’t even describe how mad I am. I feel like a fool. I don’t trust you and I’m scared shitless. Leaving this all to my momma to fix, turning a blind eye to my responsibilities, ain’t right by me, Ginny. I don’t want to stop loving you, but I can’t find it right now.” His voice becomes hoarse. “Don’t ask me to.”
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In the two years Eric and I have been together, I’ve come to realize going anywhere with the quints is a spectacle of sorts. However, most of the time, Brier has the limelight and I fade into the background. Not today. I’d be front and center even if the audience gathered wasn’t expecting my belly to inflate at any second. The curious glances ramp my anxiety. I’m timid as a mouse approaching the stage.
My hands shake as I place the final copy of my valedictory speech on the podium. Thank goodness I wrote it last week in the kitchen while my mom cooked dinner. She’d encouraged me to practice aloud. Though, I wouldn’t. And she kept asking for an idea of
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