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to busy to notice. They where in their own world, a normal one where I wish I lived in, but wishes don’t come true no amount of blown candles can give you what your hearts desire. Not even a handful of falling stars will ever make you happy.
I left right after cleaning Courtney’s mess, I wondered if anyone even saw I was there or cared. I just wanted someplace to go someone to talk too, something to do. But being me, that was a difficult request to ask.
I slept in my car that night only returning home at seven in the morning to take a shower and change for school. Even though school was far way from what I wanted to do today. When I came home my parents weren’t there which didn’t surprise me. They probably didn’t even notice I was gone or cared. I was about to go through the door and start heading for my car but I herd a cry coming from behind me I turned to see who it was and why. Mary was behind me with streams running down her cheeks covering it, like crystals of light.
This scared me, I had never seen Mary cry in all the years she has been with us, she was a strong woman. Coming to this country all alone to make money for her family, working as hard as she could to provide for her children. She practically raised me, feed me, every thing that I needed not only because it was her job but I truly felt that she cared about me like my parent should have.
I remember when I was younger every time got sent to my room, she would always sneak in and wipe my tears way telling me that my parents loved me. She would sing me to sleep with her angelic voice even thought I couldn’t understand what she was singing about. I pretend that she was the mother I was born too and that always brought a smile to my face but also sadness in the realization that not all parent where like mine. That there was love in family, just not in mine.
“ Oh Grayson!” she wipe her tears with the back of her hand
“ I just found out that my youngest daughter Maria has brain cancer” she could barley get the words out before she stated to choke in the ending making her cry even more. All thoughts years of her comforting me, telling every thing was going to be okay, it was my turn to try to comfort her. I didn’t know what to say or do this wasn’t the same thing as her comforting me, my reasons of crying seem like a pebble compared to her pains which was a bolder. All I could do was hold her tight showing her the kindness that she had always given to me, not because it was a job but because of the kind of person she was. A loving mother.
I walk to my first period, think of Mary. Why does it seem like the people who don’t deserver anything get all and people like Mary where born to suffer? Why her? What had she ever done to get this punch to the face? The bell rings and the class calms down as Ms. Hale stared talking.
“ I know you guys have heard from the seniors last year about the horrendous research essay that they had to worked on for a whole month. You also might have heard that it was worth fifty percent of their grade. Well guess what? We are doing the same thing this year… but wait it gets better this year you will work with a partner I signed you.” everyone was restless, looking around the room trying to imagine the worst possible outcome of who they might have to work with for a whole month.
If it was yesterday I would have done the same, but today I could careless if the world ending in front of me. Life was not fair and why should it be today. The more you get your hopes up, the more it hurts when it come tumbling down.
“ Aria your partner is… Grayson” I didn’t even notice until now that Ms. Hale had been calling everyone’s partner. I looked at Aria sitting across me raising her hand.
“ Ms. Hale why can’t we pick our own partners? I mean if this essay is worth fifty percent of our grade then we should be able to try to find partners that work well with each other.” Arias words stung like thousands of paper cuts, as if I needed it. Today hasn’t been the best but now it just reached a whole new level of awfulness. So she believes that I wouldn’t be a good enough partner for her. Well maybe I didn’t want to be hers.
“ Aria I m the teacher and if I intended you to pick your own partners then I would have said so. You will just have to deal with it.” score one for Ms. Hale. I hear Aria sigh besides me, in defeat. I didn’t want to look at her, she would have notice that her word had hurt me. I didn’t want to show her that I was weak, that words could defeat me.
“ …So for the next hour you and your partner will try to find a topic to write your essay on an ethical dilemma.” Ms. Hale when back to her desk and blocked every thing else out.
“So what do you think we should write the essay on?” Aria turned to look at me. I wanted to say you’re a dilemma, but I don‘t think I would want to write about you, to get back at her. As soon as I looked at her my anger lifted away. She was wearing a white sweater that shows her bare shoulders and her silky hair covering her left shoulder tempting me to move it away to see what she was hiding. Her eyes bigger and greener than yesterday. She looked Breath taking.


Aria
Grayson still hasn’t answered my question, but he was just looking at me with his icy blue eyes wide with shock. I hope there wasn’t anything on my face because that would have been very embarrassing and maybe he was mad about me asking Ms. Hale to change partners.
Being partners with Grayson would mean spend a lot of time together but just yesterday I told my self to say as far as I could from him or any guy. I should trust myself more just because he was my partner doesn’t mean that anything more will happen.
“I don’t know. Anything you want I guess.” he said in a voice so sad I expected a tear to fallow it but it didn‘t . A part of me wanted to ask why he sound this away. I shouldn’t push because I know it will end badly if I get to close.
“ He speaks!” I said sarcastically hoping to change his mood. If I had to be his partner for the next month I might as well be a pleasant one. He forced a smile on his face.
“ Well we should think of some thing we both agree on.” I let him think for a while. My mind went wondering between our silence. I was wondering why he was so sad, I know I shouldn’t have let myself but it was to late to think of the consequence of it.
Before I knew it the bell rings telling me, I have five minute to get to your next class. I looked at the clock confused had that much time passed where Grayson and I stayed quite. Couldn’t be, it felt like less than a minute ago, but the clock was the evidence. I turned but Grayson was already gone. He left in his seat a paper filled front to back with ethical dilemmas.
I searched the whole room for Grayson, he had calculus with me too. I wanted thank him for all the work he had done and apologize for blanking out for almost an hour leaving him to think of the dilemmas by himself. He was talking to one of his friends,
“…Yeah that was so funny I can’t believe I saw it with my own eyes.” Grayson’s friend started to laugh. Grayson didn’t find whatever they where talking about funny at all from the look on his face.
“Hey Grayson” I said, taking his friends momentary silence as cue to start a conversation.
“ well hello… my name is Travis.” he leaned back and grinned.
“What might your name be?” Travis said still smiling “ And I’m not telling you this because I want to impress you or anything but Im batman.” as cheesy as that was I had to give him credit, that was a pretty good pick up line.
“ Maybe if you were wearing the mask I would have be conviced” I smiled back, feeling clever at my comeback. Grayson laughed along with Travis, which mad me feel better because it wasn‘t me that caused that sadness to flash in his blue eyes .
“Travis this is Aria.” When Grayson said my name my body when numb for one second and then the next second I felt a cold fire burning beneath my skin. I have never felt this feeling and I don’t know what it means. But I can’t be good.
“ Nice to meet you Travis.” I say, to stop my self from thinking how badly I wanted him to say my name again.
“ So…” Grayson cleared his throat “ is there something we could help you with?” He asked
“ I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I defiantly blanked out during English today and thanks for the ideas.” I said apologetically showing him the paper he filled out
“No problem partner.” He said as soon as the second bell rang my cue to get to my desk.
I guess someone shoved a small pencil in the pencil sharpener and it won’t come out. Now we had to listen to Mrs. Flynn talk about the proper way to use the pencil sharpener for about fifth teen minutes as if we where still in elementary school. From the way Travis coughed to cover his laughs as Mrs. Flynn preached to use about the importance of treating thing with respect I would have blamed him form murdering the pencil sharpener. Every thing about him screamed guilty.
Grayson wasn’t laughing along with Travis but staring blackly somewhere else . There was something eating at him from the inside. If I was his friend I could have ask what, but I m not even sure what we were. Probably just partners. That should be enough right? Then why do I feel so empty.
For the rest of the period I worked hard in trying to finish the class work and the homework during class. I might be good at math but that doesn’t mean that I enjoy doing it on my spare time. And I would rather fill my mind with numbing numbers instead of wondering to much about Grayson.
When I entered the cafeteria everyone was looking and pointing in my direction I pretended not to notice but it was killing me. What where they saying behind my back, whatever it was I hope it isn‘t as bad as it looked.
“Aria” Jade wave here hand over a crowd of faces. “over here!” She patted the empty seat next to her. This wasn’t the same seats we sat in yesterday this table was crowded and filled with laughter. It was then that I
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