Do You Remember Me?, Onyx [i can read book club txt] 📗

past repeat itself. I’d paid my price, now it was time to win back my love and make everything right.
But she was stuck with Jaclyn. I didn’t trust her anymore. Ever since Danielle told me about the pills and I’d gone after Jaclyn that day, I’d wondered about what else Jaclyn might’ve done. Or what she might still be doing.
“Danielle, let’s go home now.” Jaclyn piped up, standing.
Danielle looked at her and then back at me. I nodded ever so slowly. She saw the hesitation in my eyes and kept put on her bed.
“Danielle. Come on, it’s like… 4 in the morning.” Jaclyn yawned.
Instead of Danielle, I was the one who stood, heading for the door. I waved to Danielle, who was still watching me. As I was closing the door behind me, she called, “Bye C… and thank you.”
I bit my lip, “Bye Danielle...”

It was pouring outside. The raindrops felt like needles that had been left in the freezer for hours. They stung my face as I ran. At least the rain hid my tears.
I shot past the old high school, past the grocery store and right through the empty field. I didn’t stop until I reached the park. It was pouring even harder by then, but I skipped the pavilion. I went straight to the oak tree and curled up in between its roots. This tree held so many memories. Good and bad. I wanted to return to the past, to wake up from this nightmare.
I pleaded to the tree. I sobbed, I hugged it, but it did nothing. It said nothing in return. I pleaded for it to wake me up. Perhaps I was just in the middle of a nightmare during a nap. Yeah that must be it… I’d fallen asleep in Danielle’s lap! Must’ve! This couldn’t be real.
But as hard as it was for me, I couldn’t convince myself that is was a dream. Danielle had almost died tonight. Again. She didn’t deserve death, I did. She deserved the best and I deserved to suffer yet she was the one suffering.
I felt everything within me crumble. Everything I’d ever done had been a waste. And I’d failed Danielle. I couldn’t be there to make her happy. Nor stop her from wanting to kill herself.
The downpour eased into a gentle sprinkle. Every inch of my body was frozen, shivering, aching. I didn’t care, I deserved all the pain I received.
It wasn’t until 6 or so in the morning that I finally found sleep. Curled up right in between the oak tree’s roots, right where Danielle and I once snuggled and laughed together under. Maybe by some miracle, that would be us again in the future.

The sirens. The ambulance. The blood. I tried to run to her, but my feet weren’t fast enough. She was calling my name. Desperately. As soon as I got to the scene, I collapsed beside her and I held her in my arms. Her eyes were bloodshot. She was crying blood. Her wrists and throat were slit.
“Danielle!”
“Chris! You did this to me! You did! It’s your fault!” She hissed.
“I know! Danielle, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” I managed between sobs.
A couple drops of blood ran from her eyes and down her cheeks as her life slipped away from her, “Why don’t you love me?” She used her final breath to ask.
My body went rigid and numb. My heart ceased to beat. For your love to die before your eyes, thinking that you didn’t love her, and for her to use her final breath to ask why you don’t love her, when in reality you do more than anything, is far worse than being handed your death sentence.
“Danielle…” I lost my breath. Her body had gone limp, her eyes empty and lifeless. “Danielle!” I shouted, trying to wake her up. I shook her a little. I laid her in the grass and pushed on her chest. Nothing. I kissed her. Nothing. She was dead. Gone. Forever.
She was dead and it was my fault.
“Danielle… please… I love you! I have always loved you… I’m sorry!” I whispered, my knees giving out. I collapsed beside her in the muddy grass. I adjusted myself so my face was beside hers and I intertwined our hands. I laid my face against her neck and wept, I myself as empty and lifeless as her on the inside.

Chapter 5

Chapter 5
Danielle

When we got home, I took a small dish rag, soaked it and scrubbed the blood off the floor of my room. I found my bloody razor blade and snapped it in half. I tossed it carelessly. One piece landed on the table and the other piece slid under my bed.
By the time all the evidence was erased, it was 7 am. I took a nice long hot shower to settle my nerves and ate a nice big bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. My absolute favorite cereal in the entire world. I slid on my converse and headed out the door. Everything was still soaked. The ditches were full with rain water and I almost slipped on one of the puddles in the road.
I used that time that I had alone walking to the park to think about things. Think about yesterday. Think about the hospital and C. What he’d said and how hurt he’d been. How he had stayed by my side until I woke. Even Jaclyn hadn’t done that. She was asleep. Not a care in the world. That only further proved my point; she was fake. A liar.
I looked down at the gauze around my arms. The blood splatters on them, right where my wrists were. How stupid I had been. It made me sick to think about it.
When I’d reached the park, it was around 8 or 9. I found C in the same place I’d found him last time: asleep under that tree. As I got closer, I heard sniffling. He was crying. I ran to him and sat beside him.
He twitched a little and his sniffles gave way to sobs.
“Danielle…” He whispered, still in a deep sleep.
“C. It’s just a dream.” I whispered in reply, as if he could hear me. I put my hand on his and he flinched back, as if burned. I knew he was asleep and couldn’t control himself, but the gesture hurt me a little inside.
“Danielle… I… know…”
“Know what?” I asked, watching him intently.
“I’m sorry.” His eye twitched.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” I smiled at him, even though he couldn’t see it.
He jerked a little, crying harder. He slipped his hand into mine, “I… love you… I have… always… loved you… I’m sorry!” He whispered so quietly, I almost didn’t catch it.
I kept quiet, fighting a smile.
His tears came faster. He started breathing hard and he was panicking. In his sleep? I wrapped my arms tight around him and ran my fingers through his hair, whispering into his ear, “It’s okay. It’s just a dream. Wake up, C, just wake up. It’s okay!”
He sobbed into my shirt for a few minutes before relaxing again. A while passed before he pulled his hand from mine and rolled over. I didn’t know why, but this gesture seemed to stab me in the chest as well.
Another hour or so slipped by before he woke, rubbing his eyes. He jumped a little when he saw me staring at him, “Danielle! How long have you been sitting there?”
I chuckled, “About an hour.”
“I’m sorry! It must’ve been boring…” He sat up, leaning against the tree. There were bags under his eyes. Whatever he’d been dreaming about, it wasn’t good.
“Not really.”
His eyes went big, “Oh, no. Was I sleep-talking again?”
“Yeah. Don’t worry all you said was my name and that you were sorry.”
He sighed in relief. I’d save him the embarrassment from me hearing him say he loved me. But now I knew. And that gave me some comfort on the inside that I needed.
“Good.” He rested his head against the tree, staring up into the sky. The sun was already up high and it was finally starting to warm up, even with the cloudy forecast. I noticed he was shivering, and that all his clothes were drenched.
“C, do you sleep here every night? Don’t you have a home?” Then I realized he was still wearing the same clothes he’d been wearing the first time I saw him, “Do you have any other clothes? What do you eat?”
“Danielle, calm down. You’re overreacting.” He laughed. I dramatically took a couple deep breaths.
I laughed with him that time and he said, “And yes I sleep here every night. No I don’t have a home. These are my only clothes. I go to the grocery store, take a box of crackers or something and munch on them when nobody’s looking. Or I’ll just eat stuff out of a garbage can.”
I frowned, “Well… do you want me to ask Jaclyn if you can stay with us?”
He bared his teeth, “Jaclyn and I are no longer friends. Enemies, rather. I’m sorry.”
“Well then can I at least buy you some clothes? Or buy you some food?”
He shook his head, “That is unnecessary, Danielle. I am merely a stranger to you.”
“C, it is nothing! Let me help. You helped me.”
“In what way?” He raised an eyebrow at me, resting his head on his hand, his arm propped up on his knee.
“You told me I wasn’t worthless. You said you were here for me. It meant a lot. You made me happy. So please let me do something for you in return. And by the way, you’re not a stranger to me. You’re my only friend.”
He just stared at me for a moment, then said, “Do not waste your money on buying me clothes I’ll probably lose or not fit into… how about… we go to dinner? Just you and me?” His arms were shaking. He was nervous. There was… fear… in his eyes.
I smiled, “Sounds great.”
He sighed and smiled in return, his eyes sparkling for once. Now there was… hope?
“When?” he whispered.
“Well… how about tonight? The diner down the street?”
He smiled, “Perfect. Will you meet me here?”
“Sure. I’ll come around 6. Then we can walk down there.” My stomach was twisting itself at the thought. Going to dinner with a man whose name I didn’t even know.
But it wasn’t wrong, was it? I mean… I knew him, I just didn’t remember him. Plus, he’d said he loved me. So he wouldn’t hurt me, right? I felt safe around him. I felt okay with him.
“Mkay. I’ll be right here.”
“I’m going to go before Jaclyn flips. I’ll see you at six.” I waved,