The One That Got Away, Danielle Martin [libby ebook reader txt] 📗

into her chest. She knew he was going to be here. She hoped that he would. Seeing him now almost made her have a heart attack. She didnt know where this was coming from, but she had to dig into it a little deeper so she could figure out exactly what it was.

Stepping into the front of the class standing in front of Kathy, she faced everyone in the room looking them eye to eye. "Hello everyone. Im Makayla." She smiled lightly, waving at everyone. "Some of you may know me, some of you may not. Ive been a member at this therapy center on and off for 14 years." She made eye contact with Nathan again, he stared at her so intense to the point her body almost froze. Almost like no one was in the room but the two of them. "To be honest with you guys, I have been a very very closed shell all my life. I keep alot of things inside and i find it very hard to open up to people. And not just any people in general, im like this with everyone. Even my family members." She sighed, looking down at her feet. "Sad to say my mother died and she never knew the real me." Makayla looked back up. She had everyone in the rooms attention. "But something...or should i say someone... made me want to open up. You know, share my story and all." She looked at Kathy "Do you mind or am i interrupting."

"You go right ahead honey." Mrs. Kathy waved her hand in approval.

"Okay well, my story goes back all the way back when i was a child." Her heart began to beat again, she became nervous. "I have been curious about sex all my life. Hell, ever since i could talk. I was 12 years old the first time I had sex. He was 17." She bit her lip, astonished that she had actually came up in here running off of adrenaline and was actually sharing her deepest darkest secrets people with a room full of people who didnt even know her name up until 5 minutes ago. But she had gone too far to turn back now. "My mom found out I lost my virginity when she took me to the doctor after i started my period. My mom cried for days and days nonstop when she found out. She kept me locked away. Only let me go to school, gymnastics and my family members houses. I love her and I know she was only trying to protect me, but God knows locking me away like that only made it worse. She kept me on a really tight leash up until i got to highschool. But by the time I was 15, there was no control over what I was doing. I was skipping school, smoking and drinking weed, having sex with boys. Multiple boys." Tears began to force their way to the corner of her eye, but she refused to let any emotion show, so she sucked it up. "As the years went on, i figured it was just a phase. But it never went away. As i got older, it got stronger and stronger. All the way to the point my body would shake. My bones would literally quiver. There had literally been not one night of sleep where I hadnt woken up in a puddle of sweat. I couldnt figure out what it was. What was it that gave me a rush of sensation from something so simple as frying bacon in the morning? I went to the doctor when I was 19 and he confirmed everything I had already knew. I was a sex addict. I was physically and mentally addicted to sex." She shook her head. "From then, I just went with it. I would get in these relationships and cheat like crazy blaming everything on my addiction. I was living real reckless and I didnt have any control over my life. But something inside of me changed.... when I met this guy name Rodney," She bit her lip again, trying to not make eye contact with Nathan. "We met 2 years ago at a Job fair our companys were mutually hosting together. From day one, I dont know what it was about that man, but he made me want to change my life so bad. I wanted to be perfect just like him. He inspired me to want something better." Her mind began to wander as she described the love of her life, realizing how much she really did miss that man. "He was my everything. I did a complete 360 with my life for him. He did so much to put me first, and I admirred that about him. He went out of his way to make me feel like I was his queen....Then I fucked it up, excuse my language. It all started with facebook, and then with this mobile app called Plenty Of Fish, and then there was Jchat96...." She paused. "Just to make a long story short, I went back on everything I had worked so hard for and I went right back to my hoeishly addictive ways. Starting a relationship with a man only to cheat on him in the end. The only difference this time was the fact that losing Rodney killed me inside." She clutched her hand to her chest. "When he was gone, i felt something I had never felt before. This wasnt my first time getting dumped because of my infidelity issue, but this was the first time it ever broke my heart. Back in the days, I wouldnt have given a damn. Probably would have sipped on a glass of wine while I watched them leave. But with Rodney it was a totally different story. With him I was damn near on my hands and knees begging him not to go. Im literally tustling with this man for his suitcases trying to get them out his hand." She shook her head. "When i lost him, it really taught me alot in life. I can see more clearly now. At the beginning, I didnt care about the outcome of my actions, but now i do see that there are consequences for everything that you do wrong." She shrugged her shoulders. "I guess you can say, a friend of mine brought it to my attention the other day that I have not opened up to you guys and I basically just sit up here being nosey as hell listening to you all pour your hearts out while I just sick back and dont say a thing. But to be honest, I've listened to yall. And I hear you all as well. I know some of you have been beaten, raped, molested as kids, forced into prostitution, and I know my story may not be as difficult as yours was, but I want you to know we all share the same struggles.... And I have been listening."

Nodding her off, so happy she got that off her chest, she began to trot back towards the door. "Alright I think i have served my purpose here." She waved goodbye to a stunned crowd, some looking surprised, others looking moved by her story. Brushing past Nathan, she was in shock as he stood up, blantly falling in step behind her as she walked towards the door. Her heart began to beat even faster once again. Looking over her shoulder, she examined his facial expression, which was hard to read. Was he going to be upset about her confessional? Or disgusted? There was really no telling, Pushing open the door, she walked outside, trotting down the steps as he followed behind her.

"Honestly I have to say Makayla." He broke the ice. "I must say im surprised."

"Is that all??" She asked, searching for a deeper answer as she walked towards her car.

"Im impressed. I knew you had it in you, im just confused on what made it come out."

She stopped in her tracks, facing him. She looked deep into his eyes, her body shaking once again as she stared at him for a few seconds without saying anything. She felt something. She didnt know what it was. She knew she felt desire for him, there was no denying that. But deep down inside, she felt something else. Something more. "Come take a ride with me." She spoke boldly.

He look confused as he looked her deep into her eyes. "Where are we going?"

"I dont know." She shrugged her shoulders. "The beach. The movies. My place. Hell, anywhere but here. Everytime I see your face, we're here at this center and I want to see you beyond these walls. In a different light."

"Makayla." He sighed, looking torn as if he didnt know what to do, "I heard your speech in there. Clearly your in love. What are you doing?"

She shook her head, knowing he was going to take it there. "You dont get it. For the first time in a while, I can honestly say this isnt about him. Its 110% about you right now." She stepped closer to him, invading his space. "The last time I seen you, I wanted you so bad. I know I came on strong, but I couldnt control what i was feeling. You turned me down and I took it like a real sour ass bitch. I caught a straight attitude and i left you standing here by yourself looking sexy as ever. After that day, I thought I would forget about you and write you off, but I couldnt. For some reason i couldnt stop thinking about you. Couldnt stop dreaming about you."

He looked at her so seductively, almost making her wanting to melt into a puddle right where she was standing. "You had dreams about me?"

In guilt, she nodded her head. He sighed, shaking his head obviously surprised "Makayla, I had no idea..."

"I know." She cut him off. "Little do you know, I wanted to get close to you. Mentally and im not going to lie physically too. If opening up was the first way to get next to you, I figured here would be a good place to start."

He crossed his arms over his chest, examining her. "To be honest with you Makayla, I like you. I think your a beautiful women. But ive seen this all before, and I feel deep down inside the only thing you want from me is to sleep with me."

She smacked her lips, feeling offended. Makayla couldnt lie, in the beginning thats all that it really was. But for these past few weeks, Nathan had some type of spell on her. She couldnt get this kid off her mind no matter how hard she tried. Nya warned her that he was nothing but trouble. She should have followed the signs when they were right there in front of her face. "Look Nathan, you brought something out of me today and you didnt even know it. If it was just about the sex, i would have written you off the moment you rejected me. But something about you keeps me wondering. Makes me want to find out more"

He looked her up and down, staring at her almost as if he were searching deep down inside her soul. "Let me ask you a question....would you consider me a hypocrite if i said I was attracted to you Makayla?"

She tilted her head to the side. "Nathan why would I think your a hypocrite?"

"Because." He sighed "I told you about how I have overcome my addiction. I've had my share of cheating the system, but this time I want to do things the right way. But when it comes to you, you make me want to cross that line sometimes. And that makes me feel like a hypocrite."

She shook her head, stepping even closer to him. "Your not a hypocrite Nathan. I understand you want to change peoples lives, but