"After Roswell", A.H. Roberts [the best motivational books txt] 📗

smoke and the antenna shakes from the malfunction. No longer able to hold position the antenna breaks from its mount. Sparks and a small fire erupt were the antenna once stood. Heat and electrical pulses from the system keep me submissive. Need to disconnect comm systems from the generator to save some of the equipment. I brave the deadly electrical blockade and make a grab for the power cord. Every step toward the cord a electrical discharge pushes me back. Life and death parade around, forcing me to make a decision. Usually I would take action without much thinking. Just pull the cord. Power supply will cut-off. End this so call dramatic event. Before it leads to a tragic one. So I summon all my will and might to overcome the electrical surge. Inch by inch my hand gets closer to the cord. Almost got a grip. Until another electrical surge throws me to the wall. Now the chaos inside the room is speading out, torching furniture and objects scattered around. Comm systems and the command screen are not spared in the hellish inferno that has spawn. They have been melted by the extreme heat. But the power generator is still active. This huge electrical surge is creating a bubble of energy. I realize that energy is unstable. A bubble is about to burst. With my quantum reflexes to the door. I try to escape the blast radius. Before I can open the door for my escape. A explosion from the generator thrust me through to the outside. My body takes another rough blow. As I make a landing into the rocky dirt earth. Like a rock hitting moist compacted dirt. But lucky enough I'm alive. I lift my face from the dirt. Blood starts to drool out from my mouth. Scapes cover my elbows, forearms and face. I think my leg is fracture or broke. As I'm slow to my feet. Putting little to no pressure on it. I shake off the gravel and dirt from my clothes. I take a look back at the house. Nothing of the actual structure remains. Just burnt wood and hot ash stand at its place. A look at my wristband indicator. Lucky as well. Still intact and works. I flicker the reset button. Since the impact powered it off. Prior data before it lapse. Had the ship moving from Earth's orbit. I have the transmission tracked down. CPU processes it through. It had been sent and the message was transmitted correctly. I read the ship's signature level. As it fades out and then vanishes from the wristband. I'm left to wonder. If they'll return for me? That is it worth their time and effort? At least I hope they transfer the message to my people. It will tell my superiors on my whereabouts. Its all a matter of time. Until I get any kind of response from them. But without my equipment. It will be hard to get one. Now its time to formulate another plan. What to do next? With such a explosion. Its for certain the proper authorities will be dispatched to the site. Only thing to do now is run, and run far from this location. With stride of their fastest animal on Earth. I take to the open desert. I keep looking back to the position where my house had been. Further I distance myself from it. It becomes dimmer. No heat from the leftover burning wood. Only a cold black reminder that a house had stood there before. While running away from the site. I laugh about the incident. Not just any laugh. But a laugh of a madman. I laugh louder than the wolves howl at night. Nothing really good came out of this. Yet I still laugh and even smile about it. They say laughter is the best medicine. No point of feeling sorrow or getting mad about what happen. Its a part of lifes daily struggle. It was my decision. I stop for a minute. The laughter before mellows out. I was running so fast. Couldn't keep my barons straight. It has gotten me lost. I circle around. I'm stunned. Have no idea what direction I came from. Peering In the mild darkness. I spot some refuge. Up some rocks. It leads to a cave. Against the backdrop. It depicts a blackhole in the vaccum of space. It resembles a hollow point in a tree. That cave is me. Since I'm completly empty inside. For some odd reason. I feel freedom for the first time. But I'm enslave to fact of how things turn out. So I climb on the ledge into the cave. There I post up against the wall. My back slides down the cave wall. As my head buries into my lap. I'm tired and frustrated about my decisions tonight. Earlier I treated the scenerio as a vacation. No care in the world. I assume that everything was going to be alright. Nor did I give any second thoughts to the consequences. Or I just ignore all logic? I guess at this point. This so-call vacation has just been extended a little longer. Only question is. For how long can I go on being a human?


Chapter 9
"A New Start"

I have no house. My equipment is gone. Samples and specimens collected destroyed. Materials and items of interested. Vaporized in the overload explosion. A history of intelligent beings from a distant world. Value information to be taken back to my people. But now out of view. Like a extinguish flame. Should of been patient and build up my resources. Instead I drove myself by impulse. Felt desperate to leave and took an oppourtunity. Well I throught about it in good detail. Knew all the facts involve. But went ahead with the plan anyway. I was a addicted gambler who had a weak hand. Calling the bluff. When folding was a better choice. Great minds build libraries. While stupid ones burn them down. A philospher from my world told me that once. A stupid mind on my part. As decimate want I constructed to the ground. Don't get me wrong. I did send a message out. Did the pirateers receive it? Its want I keep asking myself. To make matters worse. All my money was in the house. No funds for traveling or make my stay here easier. At a point in time. I had direction. Certain events and people distracted me from my goals. Can't remember want those goals were? It seems memory had perished in the explosion as well. Having conflicting mental battles. Which are trying to piece together a summary of everything. Losing touch with identity. My sense of purpose. I even lost track of the day of the week. What month our we in? None it matters for me anymore. Too late for me now. As I've fallen into deep depression. I Spawl down on the cave floor. Similar to a withered up leaf. Dried-up from the hot sun. No color or structure of life remains in it. My new lack of motivation. Resembles that leaf. It prevents me from exploring new ventures. My title and position doesn't fit my character now. In my old life. I walk with great pride. Nothing could penetrate my barrier that would impose feelings. Feelings that create problems on dangerous missions. Somehow I let outside forces break that barrier. Breaking me apart one piece at a time. Now after all this time. A ghostly voice from the past bothers me in my head. Its been constant the past couple of nights. Not letting me fall asleep. As I lay here on the cave floor. It speaks to me now. Telling me to get up from that fetal position I'm in. Stop acting like a coward. That all hope is not gone. There is still plenty of time to find a solution. So I put all my energy to full strength. Force myself to walk out of the darkness. Into a new light that will lead me from here. But no movement. As I only think of moving. My body has some wittly overpower my mind. I decide to just lay here. Tucked into a ball of shame. Staring outside the cave. From inside a constricted space. Watching as day becomes night. Faster and faster. A feeling I'm in a time machine. With no stop button. Everyday after the next. Continues to stay the same with no future. Then again. Its the future as I see it.
My eyes drift close. Always tired. No food to keep myself moving. No ambition to even take a peek outside. But there is something dripping from above. This brings me back into reality. A droplet of water wakes me up from my dream. All this sitting here. I find it to the reality. That the end is far from near. No use wasting life inside of a cave. Its been three years housing myself here. Secluded even more than before. Giving up all effort of getting back home. I thinks time to venture out. Find a way. That voice in my head has propel me. To not put all the blame on my shoulders. Staying in this cave doesn't make things better. This voice is probably right. Or maybe because I'm hungry? I've only eaten what crawls near me. Must relocate and begin a new plan. Some of my technology still exist. My wristband indicator is working after all this time. I know it works. Because being stuck in this. It was the only thing that provided some sort of entertainment. I recorded numerous pieces of music. Once on my feet. I gather up the tools. The tools to make it out of here. I'm a survivalist. I can easily trek to a new location. In my utility pack. I have maps and some supplies. Its difficult. But standing up is giving me some pain. Random activities kept me alert and in a prime physical state. Basically never leaving several feet at a time while in the cave. I did alot of sleeping and sitting down. So I limber up. Do a couple of stretchs. Bend up and down. Left to right. I stretch all muscle and joints. Finally I walk to the entrance of the cave. No signs of human activity. A blankness desert that reminds me of the time I landed here. A new start at finally getting the job done and completing the mission. Once outside the open sun. Its absent radiance is felt again. As its blinding my eyes from lack of light. The open desert is hotter. No man-made structures to shield the heat. In my utility pack. I have hydrate pills that keep me from dying of thrist. These pills will work for awhile. Until a water source can be found. Forgot the distance. On how truly far I travel from the explosion. I'm in unfamilar territory. Surrounded with other humans was alot more comfortable. To blend with the society and not attract attention. I knew those elements from talking with Hank. But the wilderness, especially Earth's natual environment, is something I didn't research well enough. While secluded in the cave. I forage what was available inside. Never walking too far from the cave, fearing for my safety. Now new courage has me adapting without the comforts of technology. Using old methods we've learned in the academy back home. In this human form. I must be extremely careful because of the fragile body. Must take each step with careful thought. Out in this lonely desert. There is nobody to help you. I could be two or three days from Alburquerque. Then again, I could be wrong? I might be stranded? Totally vanquish from civilization. Need to find the road which can lead me in the right direction. A new town or city away from the knowing faces that I've encounter. I take the map out