Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Heather Ray [life books to read TXT] 📗

Every word she says has such meaning. I wonder if its just because I'm in love with her, or if she has this mesmerizing effect on everyone else. Is that reason number eight, or nine? I've lost count already...

The warmth of her breath tickles my neck like a feather, and her skin is as soft as a dove's wing under my touch. Just another reason why she's an angel. And another reason why I love her.

As we sit in silence, I hear a soft buzzing sound. At first, it seems like a bee, flying towards the patches of wildflowers in the park. But the buzzing sound intensifies, and slowly, I can feel myself slipping away from that paradise I am in. The buzzing draws me away from Heaven...

...and drops me in Hell. Once again, as I open my eyes and turn of my buzzing alarm clock, I realize that it was merely a dream. Slowly, my mental faculties return as I shake off deep sleep, and reality strikes me yet again. I'm in my room, in my house, in Angel Grove. And Kimberly is dead.

It took me awhile to even admit to myself that Kim was dead. Not that I walked around, telling everyone that Kim was alive, and denying what happened on the Moon last week. I just didn't let go of the hope that she wasn't really dead. Like, perhaps that wasn't Kim. Maybe Zedd created a clone to marry him, and hid Kimberly somewhere in the dungeon. Or maybe that energy explosion only wounded her, and she'd miraculously return to life. To me.

I glance at my clock. Its eight o'clock. For a moment, I'm confused again. Why did I wake up so early on a Saturday morning? Then it hit me...today was Kim's funeral

. This is my last chance to say goodbye to her earthly remains. After today, I'll never see her face again. Just that thought makes my skin cold.

With a great deal of effort, I manage to rise to my feet, and stretch out my body. This past week, its been increasingly difficult for me to get up. I just want to sleep all day...and live my life in my dreams, where Kimberly is still with me. I just don't want to face the world. The world seems so dark and hopeless now. My parents are convinced that what I'm experiencing is a case of depression. I also know that symptoms of depression are common in people who've recently lost loved ones. They're really worried about me, but they're sure this is only a phase. They are convinced that, after a while, I'll be back to my old self again. But like I said before...Kimberly was a part of me. As far as I'm concerned, we were one flesh. And now that she's dead...so am I. I'm not physically dead, but my spirit's dead. She was my spirit...my whole love of life was dependent on her happiness. And she's gone forever.

As I search through my closet for my bathrobe, I hear a soft knock on my door. Its just loud enough for me to hear if I were awake, but not loud enough to wake me if I were asleep. Only my mother could be so considerate.

"Come in, Mom," I call, turning to the door. She peers into the room, and quietly walks inside. She walks over to me, and kisses me on the forehead. That means she has to stand on her toes, but it doesn't bother her. No matter how tall I get, I'll always be her baby.

"I just wanted to check if you were awake," she said, "You know the...uh...funeral is at ten."

"Yeah," I answer, as calmly as I can, "I'm getting ready now."

"I made some breakfast. Banana-nut pancakes and sausage. Your favorite."

I can't help but smile. She went through all that trouble for me...even though the rest of the family hates bananas. Because bananas are my favorite fruit, she fixed banana pancakes. No matter how tempting they would have been before, I can't think of eating now. I'm told loss of appetite is another symptom of depression.

"I'm not really hungry," I tell her gently, "I don't...feel too well."

My mother nods with understanding. "Well, if you change your mind, the pancakes are downstairs. And if you ever need to talk, you know I'm here for you. I'd better get ready."

With that, my mother kisses me again and leaves my room. As I go into the bathroom, and drown my body in the steaming hot shower, I ponder over my mother's offer. She's there for me, and I know that she means it. But she doesn't know what happened, and she never can. As far as the world is concerned, Kimberly was abducted and killed by an alien, in an attempt to defeat the Power Rangers. But what they don't know is that I'm the leader of the Power Rangers! No matter how many times everyone tells me otherwise, I know its my fault! There were dozens of times I could've saved her, but didn't. I could've called her after I got the letter. Then we could've figured out it was some vicious hoax. Or, I could've saved her from Divatox, instead of worrying so much about Maligore. The others could've piloted the Megazord fine without me. I never should have let Divatox get away with Kim. I shouldn't have let her cast that spell on Kim and Jason in the first place!!

I could have saved her when we fought in the Power Plant. All I had to do was knock her unconscious or something, and teleport her to the Power Chamber. But I didn't. And Zedd got her. Once she agreed to marry Zedd, all was lost. I missed my chance to save her. Time after time I missed my chance. And now I have to live with the fact that I let her down. Repeatedly, when she was counting on me, I let the woman I love more than life itself down. What kind of hero am I? I'd be better off dead.

I've thought about killing myself a few times this week. All I'd have to do is leap into the lake...where Kim and I first kissed...and let the weight on my shoulders pull me to the bottom. Then, all my suffering would be over. I'd be with Kimberly again, and hopefully we can live the afterlife together. But I know I can't do it. Its the easy, and selfish way out. If I killed myself, I'd leave my family and the rangers behind. My family would be devastated, and I know they'll blame themselves for letting me wallow in self-pity and depression. They'll feel the guilt that I'm feeling right now, and they'd carry it with them for the rest of their lives. And what would the rangers think? I'm the leader, and I have to set the example. I have to be strong for them all, so they can gain strength from me. That's what a leader does. He leads. And if I take the cowardly way out, then I'd betray them all. I can't let myself do that to my friends.

So I'll continue living. Not that it will be easy, but its not a choice. I have to live on, just like Trevor said. I have to keep going, for the benefit of those close to me. And I have to consider Kim. She wanted to pull the weight of guilt off me, when she said she deserved what happened. She wanted me to move on, knowing that she'll carry her love with her to wherever she is now. She wanted me to leave her behind. But I can't. She's a part of me. One flesh...

Part Two

I've always felt comfortable in churches. There's a feeling of brotherhood, and there's a feeling of security in knowing that I'm in the house of God. God is watching over me, and he can read my heart. He knows that I'm in pain, and I don't need to mask my true feelings from him. Besides God, there is only one person who knew the real me. And she's dead.

I put my black blazer back on over my white shirt. Suddenly, I feel incredibly cold. Its usually a little chilly in churches, probably because a lot of people wear suits. But its absolutely frigid in this room. Is it the room, or is it just me? Or maybe, its because Kim's body is here. And I know that its ice cold. Is that why my flesh is ice cold? I wouldn't be surprised.

I glance uncomfortably around the room. Its nearly ten, and just about everyone's here. In the front, I see Caroline, and her new husband Pierre. Caroline usually is radiant, with beauty very similar to Kim's although more mature. But today, she's a wreck. Her eyes are red, and her hair is in disarray. Even Pierre looks distraught. Kim wasn't his daughter, but they grew close in the few weeks they spent together. Sitting beside them is Richard Hart, Kim's father. He came all the way from Washington, where he moved when he and Caroline got a divorce. I've only seen him once, on the Parent's Day when I got my Green Ranger powers back. He's usually a cheerful guy, but now, he looks like a zombie. The news of losing his only child obviously hit him rather hard. Its terrible how tragedy brings people together. Before, Caroline and Richard wouldn't even speak to each other. But now, they are sharing their pain, since they share the torture of losing a child. Kimberly was a blessing to both, and now there was a gaping hole in the collective heart of the Harts.

The next group that catches my eye is a very familiar one. Jason Lee, my best friend for years, is sitting as still as death, with a blank expression on his face. I know Jay like I know myself-- he's crying inside, but he won't show it. He probably feels responsible, because he was the last person to see Kim before she took off with Divatox. He always regarded Kim as his little sister, and he always kept an eye on her during middle school, and even high school. But the big brother couldn't save her. He probably feels almost as terrible as I do. Almost.

Sitting beside him is Trini Kwan. Trini is sobbing outright, covering he face in a yellow handkerchief. This must be the first time I ever saw Trini in dreary black. She always wore yellow, either as a ranger or after. Now that I think about it, I haven't seen Trini in ages...since she left Angel Grove for Geneva. She and Kimberly were like sisters, and Trini never said goodbye. That must hurt. And Trini's so sensitive, losing her friend will leave a scar that may never heal completely.

Another face I haven't seen in awhile is Zack Taylor's. He, like Trini, hasn't been back