How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #5), DeYtH Banger [tohfa e dulha read online .txt] 📗

new multimedia video produced by Lewkowicz for TIME.

Domestic violence is often shielded from public view. Usually, we only hear it muffled through walls or see it manifested in the faded yellow and purple bruises of a woman who “walked into a wall” or “fell down the stairs.” Despite a movement to increase awareness of domestic violence, we still treat it as a private crime, as if it is none of our business.

PORTFOLIOThe Small Town Police Force Behind the Viral Photo of an Overdose

During my time as a freelance photojournalist and as a Master's candidate at Ohio University, one of the biggest challenges of my career came in November of 2012, while working on a project about the stigma associated with being an ex-convict. Suddenly, an incident of domestic violence unexpectedly became my business.

I had met Shane and Maggie two-and-a-half months before. Southeastern Ohio was still warm that time of year and brimming with small regional festivals. I had gone to the Millersport Sweet Corn Festival to shoot my first assignment for an editorial photography class. Almost immediately, I spotted a man covered in tattoos, including an enormous piece on his neck that read, “Maggie Mae.” He was holding a beautiful little girl with blonde curls. His gentle manner with her belied his intimidating ink, and I approached them to ask if I could take their portrait.

I ended up spending my entire time at the fair with Shane, 31, and his girlfriend Maggie, 19. Maggie’s two children, Kayden, four, and Memphis, nearly two, were not Shane’s, but from her then-estranged husband.

Shane and Maggie had started dating a month prior to meeting me, and Shane told me about his struggles with addiction and that he had spent much of his life in prison. Maggie shared her experience losing her mother to a drug overdose at the age of eight, and having the challenges of raising two small children alone while their father, who was in the Army, was stationed in Afghanistan. Before they drove home, I asked if I could continue to document them, and they agreed.

I intended to paint a portrait of the catch-22 of being a released ex-convict: even though they are physically free, the metaphorical prison of stigma doesn't allow them to truly escape. That story changed dramatically one night, after a visit to a bar.

In a nearby town where Shane had found temporary work, they stayed with the kids at a friend's house. That night, at a bar, Maggie had become incensed when another woman had flirted with Shane, and left. Back at the house, Maggie and Shane began fighting. Before long, their yelling escalated into physical violence.

Shane attacked Maggie, throwing her into chairs, pushing her up against the wall and choking her in front of her daughter, Memphis.

After I confirmed one of the housemates had called the police, I then continued to document the abuse — my instincts as a photojournalist began kicking in. If Maggie couldn't leave, neither could I.

Eventually, the police arrived. I was fortunate that the responding officers were well educated on First Amendment laws and did not try to stop me from taking pictures. At first, Maggie did not want to cooperate with the officers who led Shane away in handcuffs, but soon after, she changed her mind and gave a statement about the incident. Shane pled guilty to a domestic violence felony and is currently in prison in Ohio.

The incident raised a number of ethical questions. I’ve been castigated by a number of anonymous internet commenters who have said that I should have somehow physically intervened between the two. Their criticism counters what actual law enforcement officers have told me — that physically intervening would have likely only made the situation worse, endangering me, and further endangering Maggie.

I have continued to follow Maggie since the abuse, and I've also begun working closely with photographer Donna Ferrato, who first began documenting domestic violence 30 years ago.

Since that November night, Maggie has moved to Alaska to be with the father of her two children, who is stationed in Anchorage. In March, I will travel to Alaska to document Maggie as she tries to put the pieces of her family and life back together. My goal is to examine the long-term effects of this incident on her current relationship, her children, and her own sense of self. Devoted to revealing these hidden stories of domestic abuse, Maggie asked me to move forward with this project and to tell her story, because she feels the photographs might be able to help someone else.

"Women need to understand this can happen to them. I never thought it could happen to me, but it could," she told me. "Shane was like a fast car. When you're driving it, you think 'I might get pulled over and get a ticket.' You never think that you're going to crash."

The Violence Against Women Act, which provides funding to help victims of domestic violence, was signed into law by President Bill Clinton in 1994, and is now up for re-authorization. Read more about the law and why it's currently stuck in Congress.)

 

 

 

 

 P.S.: I call this an edgy game... dumb enough... not smart enough and sometimes harder than ever talking to a stranger....

 

 

 

The Protection Paradox: Why Overprotective Parents May be Doing More Harm Than Good

Kids aren't playing enough outside, and when they do, they tend to be over-supervised by over-protective parents.

 

 

 

 

WHEN THE DOORBELL RINGS at your house, is it a UPS delivery or neighborhood kids calling on their friends to come outside and play? According to a recent Canadian report, it's most likely a delivery from Amazon.

The 2015 ParticipACTION Report Card of Physical Activity for Children and Youth takes a landmark position on active outdoor play revealing that kids are not playing enough outside, and when they do play outside they tend to be over-supervised by over-protective parents.

I'm sure it's no surprise that outdoor play is healthy for kids. But wanting our kids to be safe outdoors, parents may over-supervise their outdoor play, or worse – keep them indoors. According to this report, this limits kids' opportunities for physical activity, sets them up to be less resilient and negatively affects their long-term health. This is called the protection paradox.

According to the Report Card, with less than 10 percent of children and youth getting the 60 minutes of heart-pumping activity they need each day, we need to let kids go outside and simply be kids. Kids are more physically active when they play outside and have some freedom to wander unsupervised, independently test their abilities and take some risks. And figuring out how to solve conflicts with their friends, without parents and teachers constantly intervening, should be a requirement.

I'm sure we all agree our children's safety is of the highest importance. But the report also argues that many of us have taken our kids' safety too far. A common belief is that children are safer sitting on the couch and watching television and playing video games than actively playing outside.

In fact, many parents cite safety as a main reason for restricting the independent outdoor play of their children. According to the Department of Transportation, the percentage of elementary and middle schoolers who either walked or biked to school dropped from 48 to 13 percent between 1969 and 2009.

Not surprisingly, children whose parents perceive their neighborhoods as unsafe watch more television and participate in less physical activity. However, according to statistics cited in the ParticipACTION Report Card, the odds of total stranger abduction are about 1 in 14 million.

The solution is obvious, although difficult for many of today's over-protective parents to deliver. It consists of simply standing back, exposing children and youth to more independent outdoor play and letting kids be kids.

Our youth need more active outdoor play, such as exploring the woods, climbing fences and playing neighborhood manhunt games – all with less adult supervision. And a few scrapes, dumps and bruises may be a good start. Let's not make outdoor play extinct.

 

 

 

 

 

Note: THERE ARE rules for comedy...

 

 

 

 

How Do I Know If I Have Depression?

 

 

The types and symptoms of depression vary, so here’s what to look for.

By David Levine, Contributor

 

 

 

 

EVERYONE FEELS SAD sometimes. We all go through periods of doubt, despair and emotional pain. That's part of a normal and healthy life, and these feelings typically fade over time. But when they linger, or begin to interfere with your everyday life, they could signal depression.

Depression is more than just "feeling the blues." According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, it s "a serious medical illness and an important public health issue." Depression is a leading cause of disease, disability and injury for both men and women. It not only causes pain and suffering for those with depression, it can burden their families, friends and co-workers. The CDC estimates the economic costs of depression, including workplace costs, direct costs and suicide-related costs, to be more than $200 billion.

 

 

 

Because depression is a medical condition, it can be diagnosed, treated and, in the vast majority of cases, managed successfully – even cured. Too many people, however, still don't understand that basic fact. "There is still a lot of stigma around psychiatric issues, including depression, that makes people think that [the] way they are feeling is somehow their fault or their parent's fault," says Dr. James Potash, chair of the psychiatry department at University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics. "The truth is that depression is a treatable medical illness. Although it can be hard to recognize and has some invisible qualities, it is a disease process of the brain, and as a disease, it is nobody's fault, just as it is no one's fault they get cancer or asthma."

The key to successful treatment is often getting it early, before the condition worsens, so knowing what to look for can help patients recognize something is amiss and seek help.

 

Types of Depression

 

Depression, which is also referred to as clinical depression or a depressive disorder, can be broken into certain types, according to the National Institute of Mental Health:

Major depression is defined as having symptoms of depression most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks. These symptoms disrupt your ability to work, sleep, study, eat and enjoy life. Persistent depressive disorder, or dysthymia, is diagnosed when the patient experiences symptoms of depression for at least two years. In addition to these classifications, there are other forms of depression that develop under specific circumstances: Perinatal depression is major depression that afflicts women during pregnancy or after delivery. This is also known as postpartum depression. Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, is a depressive state tied to changes of season. It typically begins in the late fall and early winter, and lasts until spring or early summer. Psychotic depression is severe depression combined with some form of psychosis, such as delusional thinking or visual or aural hallucinations.

 

 

 

There are more examples of depressive disorders, such as disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (which typically occurs in children and adolescents) and premenstrual dysphoric disorder. And depression can be one phase of bipolar disorder, in which the person experiences alternating, extreme modes of euphoria and depression.

 

 

Symptoms of Depression

 

Not everyone experiences depression in the same way. Indeed, depression is often a vague, hard-to-pin-down collection of symptoms that vary from person to person, gender to gender and age group to age group. Nevertheless, there are common signs of depression that everyone should learn to recognize.

The American Psychiatric Association lists the following symptoms in its diagnostic criteria for major depressive disorder. For a diagnosis of major depression, a patient must experience five or more of these symptoms for a continuous period of at least two weeks. These symptoms must be present every day or nearly every day, and they must cause significant distress or problems in day-to-day functioning:

Feelings of sadness, hopelessness, depressed mood. Loss of interest or pleasure in activities that used to be enjoyable. Change in weight or appetite (either increase or decrease). Change in activity: being more – or less – active than usual. Insomnia (difficulty sleeping) or sleeping too much. Feeling tired or not having any energy. Feelings of guilt or worthlessness. Difficulties concentrating and paying attention. Thoughts of death or suicide.

 

Depression Symptoms in Certain Groups