Brain on Porn (Social #1), DeYtH Banger [red queen ebook .TXT] 📗
- Author: DeYtH Banger
Book online «Brain on Porn (Social #1), DeYtH Banger [red queen ebook .TXT] 📗». Author DeYtH Banger
23 YEAR OLD MALEAFTER 2 MONTHS OF QUITTING PORN CONSUMPTION [30]
Who wouldn’t want that? Who wouldn’t want a healthy amount of love and respect for himself or herself that is free from porn’s isolating and harmful effects? Who wouldn’t want a healthy view of potential romantic partners and relationships in general? Real love requires real commitment to real people, including yourself. Choosing real love over porn gives people greater freedom and control to decide what they really want to do with their time and energy. Instead of someone sitting in front of a computer for hours, consuming a product that can isolate and damage their relationships, they can focus on reality. Keeping porn out of your life gives you the freedom and time to try that new sport you have been interested in, take that class that sounds really interesting, travel to a new place with family members, invest in friendships, or find the one you want to spend time loving and growing old with—the real way. Real life, and real life-giving experiences have so much more to offer than porn ever will.
Why This Matters
All of these issues show why we’re raising awareness and shining a light on the immense, measurable harms of porn. Don’t fall into the trap of believing that porn is harmless entertainment that has no effect on individuals or society. Get educated and fight against an industry that is tangibly harming individuals, relationships, and society. We deserve better than what porn has to offer. We deserve real love, untainted by the toxicity of pornography. Join this global fight for love and become a Fighter
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How Porn Damages Consumers’ Sex Lives
According to research and personal accounts, instead of increasing sexual enjoyment, porn often leads to less satisfying sex in the long run and, for many porn consumers, no sex at all.
Porn promises a virtual world filled with sex—more sex and better sex. What it doesn’t mention, however, is that the further a porn consumer goes into that fantasy world, the more likely their reality is to become just the opposite. [1] Porn often leads to less sex and less satisfying sex. [2] And for many consumers, porn eventually means no sex at all. [3]
How? Well, it starts in the brain.
You see, your brain is full of nerve pathways that make up what scientists call your “brain map.” [4] It’s kind of like a hiking map in your head, with billions of tiny overlapping trails. These pathways connect different parts of your brain together, helping you make sense of your experiences and control your life.
When you have a sexual experience that feels good, your brain starts creating new pathways to connect what you’re doing to the pleasure you’re feeling. [5] Essentially, your brain is redrawing the sexual part of your map so you’ll be able to come back later and repeat the experience. [6] (See How Porn Affects The Brain Like a Drug ). The same thing happens the first time someone consume’s porn. The porn consumer’s brain starts building new pathways in response to this very powerful new experience. [7] It’s saying, “This feels great! Let’s do this again.”
But here’s the catch: brain maps operate on a “use it or lose it” principle. [8] Just like a hiking trail will start to grow over if it’s not getting walked on, brain pathways that don’t get traffic become weaker and can even be completely replaced by stronger pathways that get more use.
As you might expect, consuming porn is a very powerful experience that leaves a strong and lasting impression in the brain. (See How Porn Changes The Brain.) Every time someone consumes porn—especially if they heighten the experience by masturbating—the part of the brain map that connects arousal to porn is being strengthened. [9] Meanwhile, the pathways connecting arousal to things like seeing, touching, or cuddling with a partner aren’t getting used. Pretty soon, natural turn-ons aren’t enough, and many porn consumers find they can’t get aroused by anything but porn. [10]
How bad is the problem? Put it this way: doctors are seeing an epidemic of young men who, because of their porn use, can’t get it up with a real, live partner. [11]
Thirty years ago, when a man developed erectile dysfunction (ED), it was almost always because he was getting older, usually past 40. As his body aged it became more difficult to maintain an erection. [12] Chronic ED in anyone under 35 was nearly unheard of. [13] But those were the days before internet porn. These days, online message boards are flooded with complaints from porn users in their teens and 20s complaining that they can’t maintain an erection. [14] They want to know what’s wrong with their body, but the problem isn’t in the penis—it’s in the brain. [15]
Study after study has shown that porn is directly related to problems with arousal, attraction, and sexual performance. [16]. Porn leads to less sex and to less sexual satisfaction within a relationship. [17] Researchers have shown a strong connection between porn use and low sex drive, erectile dysfunction, and trouble reaching orgasm. [18] Many frequent porn users reach a point where they have an easier time getting aroused by internet porn than by having actual sex with a real partner. [19] One recent study even concluded that porn use was likely the reason for low sexual desire among a random sample of high school seniors. [20] Who has ever heard of that? Low sexual desire among high school seniors!
This trend of sexual problems is especially serious for teens and young adults. Their brains are particularly vulnerable to being rewired by porn, [21] and they are in a period where they are forming crucial attitudes, preferences, and expectations for their future. [22]
Young people imitate what they see in porn, and when teens learn about sexuality from porn, they are in danger of adopting the misleading, harmful biases embedded there. [23] Many teens never have the chance to learn what a healthy relationship is like before porn starts teaching them its version—which is typically filled with domination, infidelity, abuse, and violence. [24] Since most people aren’t too excited about entering a relationship with someone who has attitudes like that, teens who get their sex ed from porn often find that they struggle to connect with real romantic partners. [25]
Fortunately, the brain is a resilient organ. The sexual dysfunction caused by porn can be reversed, [26] and a brain map can be rewired to work well again once porn is out of the picture. [27]
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Why porn porn is full of lies?
they have sex—is a fantasy. Porn consumers often become so obsessed chasing the fantasy that they miss out on actual love and relationships.
Back in the 1950s, two researchers named Tinbergen and Magnus played a trick on butterflies. [1] After figuring out which marks on female butterfly wings were most eye-catching to males, the researchers created their own cardboard butterfly models. They exaggerated the patterns on the wings to make them brighter and flashier than would ever be found in nature. Essentially, they created the world’s first butterfly supermodels.
And the male butterflies fell for it. They went straight for the cardboard mock-ups and tried to mate with them. Ignoring the real female butterflies that were right there in plain sight, the males gave all their attention to the exaggerated pictures. [2] Sound familiar?
Like the duped butterflies, porn consumers can get so obsessed chasing flashy fantasies that they miss out on real life and real relationships. Call it the first great lie of porn:
PORN LIE #1
You can have it both ways; you can enjoy the immediate gratification of thousands of virtual sex partners and the long-term satisfaction of a real relationship.
The truth is, porn often takes a heavy toll on real-life relationships. [3] When they discover that their loved-one is using porn, many partners feel shocked, rejected, abandoned, humiliated, and betrayed. [4] (See How Porn Hurts A Consumer’s Partner.) The idea that “porn is a personal decision that affects no one else” is simply wrong.
But even if your partner has no problem with porn, it can still damage your relationship. Studies have clearly shown that porn erodes a person’s ability to love and feel loved with a real partner. [5] When men are exposed to porn, they rate themselves as less in love with their actual partners, [6] and less satisfied with their relationships and sex lives. [7] They become more critical and dissatisfied with their partner’s appearance, sexual performance, sexual curiosity, and displays of affection. [8] Ironically, porn is directly related to problems with attraction, arousal, and sexual performance, [9] as well as lower sex drive, erectile dysfunction, and difficulty reaching orgasm. [10] (See How Porn Damages Consumers’ Sex Lives.)
One recent study examined men who used internet porn compulsively and found that, in 11 out of 19 subjects, porn consumption had lowered their sex drive and/or ability to maintain erections in physical relationships with real women. [11] Oddly enough, those men were still able to respond sexually to porn. [12] Like Tinbergen’s butterflies, porn can leave people preferring internet porn over an actual partner. [13] Chances are, your partner is not okay with that.
PORN LIE #2
Porn is just watching people have sex—what could be more natural and normal than that?
Actually, sex is natural and normal. Porn is something entirely different.
Make no mistake, porn is a product. Pornographers have a lot to gain by driving traffic to their sites, so they dress up their product to grab your attention. That “dressing up” is exactly what makes porn so unnatural.
Professional porn performers have a whole team of people to make every detail look perfect, from directing and filming to lighting and makeup, maybe even a plastic surgeon or two to thank. With some careful editing, a typical 45-minute porn flick that took three days to shoot can appear to have happened all at once, without a break. Film the right bodies from the right angles at the right moments, edit out all the mistakes, Photoshop away any imperfections, add a catchy soundtrack, and you have something most definitely NOT like “natural” sex with “normal” people. You end up with something more “cardboard” than “butterfly.”
PORN LIE #3
Porn is just an innocent distraction and a harmless pastime.
Leading relationship experts, Doctors John and Julie Gottman have expressed serious concern about the effects of pornography on couple relationships. They explain, “Pornography may be just such a supernormal stimulus. With pornography use, much more of a normal stimulus may eventually be needed to achieve the response a supernormal stimulus evokes. In contrast, ordinary levels of the stimulus are no longer interesting. This may be how normal sex becomes much less interesting for porn users. The data supports this conclusion. In fact, use of pornography by one partner leads the couple to have far less sex and ultimately reduces relationship satisfaction.”
Once a person is aware of the damage they are doing to themselves, (See How Porn Changes the Brain) their loved ones (See How Porn Hurts A Consumer’s Partner,) and society (See How Porn Fuels Sex Trafficking), using porn can hardly be called harmless or innocent.
PORN LIE #4
Porn is a safe way to learn about sex.
This lie is especially troubling because many young porn consumers really do rely on the warped fantasy of porn to form their ideas and expectations about sex. [14] That’s scary for a lot of reasons. Young people who consume porn often expect their partners to act out what they’ve seen, even if it’s painful, degrading, or dangerous. [15] They tend to believe that what they see in porn is normal and acceptable, even as their tastes in porn grow more extreme over time. [16] (See How Porn Affects Sexual Tastes.) And as people adopt the unrealistic standards of porn, they end up
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