April, Gabrielle Newman [good novels to read in english txt] 📗

April had done it again.
Outside, the flashing motel sign sent darts of bright blue neon into the dark room. Eyes still heavy with sleep, she turned over in bed and saw that the curtains were pushed back. She threw off the covers, her naked body shocked by the cold morning air, and hurried to close them. A fine mist of rain was sprinkling the parking lot. There were only three cars there, and none of them were hers. Engulfed in darkness, she stood silent for a moment, head pressed up against the wall. She tried to fight off the stinging pain that was building up in her eyes. She didn’t want to cry anymore. She was tired of crying, but that all too familiar lump was rising in her throat. Soon she was on the floor, a frail heap of gut wrenching sobs. A pulsing headache was building up across her forehead, so she attempted to regain some semblance of composure before she felt her head would explode. But every time she felt the tears slowing down, Tony’s smile would appear in her mind, causing her to resume her original tempo.
Eventually, she was all cried out. She couldn’t cry anymore, even if she wanted to. Eyes dried out and tired, she lay on the dingy carpet, staring blankly up at the dark ceiling. The alarm clock on the nightstand said 6:07. “I only slept for three hours,” she thought vaguely. Tony would be on his way to work by then. She wondered if he was thinking of her, and then immediately felt ashamed. Who was she to be involved with such a man? Someone who finally listened to her when she spoke, and didn’t run as soon as he found out she had children. Yet there she was on a dirty motel floor, fresh from another conquest. The taste of vodka lingered in her mouth, and she still had a very faint buzz, but the fun was done. She slowly pulled herself up to the edge of the bed and buried her head in her hands. The stranger’s smell lingered on them. Her stomach turned. She hurried to the bathroom and threw on the shower, grimacing at the brown ring around the bathtub. Another man, another smell. She couldn’t remember his name, and could barely remember what he looked like, but his smell stayed with her. This had been her routine for years. The crying, the smell, the scolding hot showers. “If I can just get this one off, I can stop. I’ll be fresh, and I can stop,” she thought as she fiercely ran the thin motel soap up and down her arms. A pang shot through her chest. “I can stop,” she whispered aloud.
After washing for a good forty minutes, she finally felt clean. The water had gone cold fifteen minutes in, but quitting wasn’t an option. She wrapped a towel around her tender body and then retrieved her toothbrush a tiny tube of toothpaste from her purse. After years of monotony, she learned that those two items came in handy, so she always kept them in her purse. The mirror was steamed over, but she painfully made sure not to glance in it as she brushed. Suddenly, the memory of the stranger’s mustache resurfaced. It meant nothing to her at that moment, but she remembered how it had tickled her upper lip as he pressed against her the night before. She spat and quickly left the bathroom. Her purse was big enough to house a set of spare clothes. Another trick she picked up over the years. As she dressed she glanced around for her cell phone. Somehow, it had ended up under the bed, but it was no good. The battery had died. She hesitated before snatching up the dinky motel phone on the nightstand.
“Hello.” It was Jason
“Are you getting your brother and sister ready for school?”
“Yea,” he answered passively.
“Make sure you dress them warm. It’s cold, plus it’s raining.”
“I ain’t stupid.” They were both quiet for a moment. “Did you go to work? I called the warehouse last night to ask you what to give Jessi for her cold, but they said you called in sick.” More silence.
“I’m gonna drive you guys to school,” April blurted out.
“Why? The bus runs in ten minutes.”
“Just be ready when I get there.”
“If you’re gonna stay over at Tony’s at least give me his number since you don’t answer your phone.” April sighed.
“Just be ready when I get there.”

Jason knew that his mother wasn’t at Tony’s. The number on the caller i.d. was from the Sand Man motel just off the interstate. He slammed down the phone, his face growing hot. They had only been in Milton for five months, but already it was turning into Shelby. And that city had been a reproduction of other cities. Soon they’d be moving on to some other dump in some other derelict city. If she didn’t get fired, she would end up quitting instead, blaming it on not liking her shift, or not letting her boss feel her up. Amazing how every boss was the same. Even the women. She would soothe Jessi and Caleb with smiles and gentle caresses, assuring them that they would like their new school. And to Jason’s amazement they would end up believing her, even though none of what she said ever came true. He figured they were still too young to see the truth. The new schools were the same as the old ones, and the kids would pick on them because they dressed differently.
“I’m hungry.” He turned to see Caleb standing next to him.
“Well fix something to eat then.”
“Fix what?” Jason sighed. He had forgotten that they were out of groceries.
“You just gotta wait ‘til we get to school. No, wait. Mama just called and said she’s gonna take us to school this morning, and we won’t make it in time for breakfast, so you’ll just have to wait ‘til lunch.” One bright spot was the fact that they qualified for free meals at school. Caleb clicked his tongue and slouched away. The hotness washed over Jason again. “It ain’t right,” he thought angrily. “They shouldn’t have to live like this.” He stared blankly at his brother and sister as they argued over a toy, his mind too occupied to break up the fight.

April walked the entire half mile from the Sand Man to the Imperial Lounge to retrieve her car. It was nothing new. When she left the motel the rain was sparse and light, but by the time she made it to her car it was coming down in sheets. Rain was always cold by itself, but when combined with the temperature of February she was left chilled to the bone. As she waited for the car to heat up she noticed something in her rearview mirror. A truck was pulling into the parking lot. Her heart picked up speed as a man got out and hurried over to her window. It was Steve Shipman. They worked on the same shift at the warehouse. At thirty-two, he was only a couple of years younger than she was, but he looked a ripe twenty-two instead. He positioned his umbrella over the window as she rolled it down.
“You okay?” April nodded and smiled, but avoided eye contact. Steve waited for her to say something, but when she didn’t he continued. “I saw you when I was driving by. Thought I’d double back and check on you.” He leaned in closer, his heavy cologne drifting into the car.
“I’m fine,” answered April nervously. “Just on my way to take my kids to school.” She hoped this would send him on his way. It didn’t.
“Didn’t see you at work. How are your kids? Saw your oldest boy the other day down at the gas station. How old is he now?”
“Seventeen, and they’re all doing good. Just gotta get them to school on time,” she laughed anxiously.
“Seventeen? Well dang, you must’ve had him young. You don’t look a day over twenty yourself. I’ll let you go then. Nice talking to you.” He held out his hand, and as they shook she made the mistake of looking up at his face. His smile was sly, and she swore his true intentions were seeping from his bright eyes. Or were they her

intentions? Either way, she was relieved when she finally got on her way. He had the best hands she had ever seen or felt, so she hated him.

When she pulled up in front of the apartment building she half expected Jason to have already put everyone on the bus instead. But after honking the horn a few times, Jessi and Caleb came bouncing out, trouncing every puddle in their way. Jason sauntered behind them. Jessi hopped into the backseat and wrapped her arms around April’s neck.
“Why are you picking us up, mama?” Her bright voice was in stark contrast to the grayness outside.
“I just wanted to see my babies before they went to school,” April laughed, smothering the child’s tiny hands with kisses. Jessi giggled and then promptly turned to shake off her wet jacket onto Caleb.
“I’m hungry, mama,” he whimpered as he fought off his sister. “Can we get something to eat?”
“I already said you gotta wait ‘til lunch,” answered Jason as he climbed into the front seat.
“I asked mama, not you,” he replied snidely.
“Shut up and put your seatbelt on,” ordered Jason before their mother could say anything. He hadn’t yelled, but Caleb sulked back and did as he was told. They rode on in silence, the mood in the air as cheerful as the dark sky.

The elementary school was closest, so Jessi was dropped off first. She kissed each of them on the cheek, and they watched until she scurried into the building. April was ashamed to think it, but Jessi held a tender place in her heart that the other two didn’t. There was no doubt that she loved each of her children, but Jessi was so warm and compassionate that it was hard not to prefer her. Jason felt the same way. He never yelled at his sister. Partly because she rarely did anything wrong, but when she did he just didn’t have the heart to be mean to her. Caleb was another story. It was a good thing the middle school and high school where combined into one, big building. That way Jason was able to keep an eye on him. He frowned at the thought of his twelve year old brother being his only friend at school,