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Yeah, I’ve gotten myself into some bad situations by doing some really stupid things, but do I ever learn from them? You guessed it, a big fat NO. Right now, I’m locked up in a room with my saxophone playing friend and my history professor. Not weird at all. And how did I get here, you ask? Well, I went to Chicago for an oboe audition, and while I was there, I was shot at and kidnapped. Wow, I must really suck at the oboe.
So here I am. I’ve been here for three days now. Just sitting here. Damn, they took my oboe away. So now I have NOTHING to do. I swear, once I get out of here, I’m gonna kill them for taking away my oboe. I named it April. Yeah, I know, weird. I miss my boyfriend. I wish he was here. His name is Nick. He’s the awesomest guy I know. I <3 him. But, I’m probably never going to see him again. *bangs coming from outside the door, door explodes open.* Okay, I spoke too soon. He’s now standing right in front of me, covered with dust. Yay.
“Nick? What are you doing here? How are you here?” I say.
“Well, I turned into a vampire, apparently. And I went to the castle. They told me that’s where you went, and they also told me that you went to Chicago, and the address. So now I’m here. And I saved you. Am I superman or what?” he says.
“Yeah, whatever” I say. I go near him. He kisses me. Olivia makes a puking sound. I give her the bird, while still kissing Nick. He smells like dust and cologne and Nick. Yeah, he smells like him. He has this smell. It’s amazing. Okay, I’m blabbering. I’ll stop now. We get on a plane, to go back to Michigan. I beat up the guy who took my oboe. Gave him a good kick in the balls.
“That’s what you get! @#$%^&!!!”
He said that he regret stealing my pride and joy. I knock his front teeth out, and drop a brick on his head for good measure. And then I went on the plane. That should teach him to mess with April, I think to myself. It gave Nick a good laugh. Exactly what I needed. But what I don’t get is why bad luck keeps following me around. I really didn’t need the plane crash.
I was asleep when it happened. But I woke up as we were going down. I woke up screaming. I woke up because people were screaming. My head was filled with constant screaming. Scream, scream, scream, scream, and scream. Did I mention the screaming? Maybe, I don’t know.
And then I realized that I was flying. And of course, I said the smartest thing that anyone could say whilst flying:
“OMG! I’M FLYING!” Yeah, aren’t I brilliant? Definitely Harvard material. And then I realized that the others were flying, too. I looked around. “OH MY GOD! WE’RE LIKE CHICKENS!” And then we all started hysterically laughing. Not screaming, not begging God for mercy, none of that. Laughing. Laughing like we’re not about to die. Because we’re not. We’re flying like chickens (I’ll never forget saying that) through a lighting storm. And then we realize that we’re actually flying in a lightning storm. And of course, I say:
“Oh my god, what if we turn into FRIED CHICKEN??” Nick just raised his eyebrows. And then I realized what I just said. And then I started screaming again. I forget what happened after that. Nick says that I got struck by lightning. And yeah, I believe him. Why else would I black out and fell like fried chicken when I get up? And I didn’t get up for three days. I must have gotten struck on my head, because I had the worst headache in the world when I woke up. Just thinking about it gives me a headache. Olivia says that I was singing “Party Rock Anthem” in my sleep. Okay, weird. But, I’ve been known to laugh in my sleep, so not really. Why did I just tell you that? It had nothing to do with what I’m trying to say. Oh well, I don’t give a crap. Back to the story, I guess.
Anyways, when I woke up, I was back at the castle. Nick was passed out in a chair next to my bed. And amazingly, my best friend Willow was standing over me.
“Willow? You’re not a bloodthirsty vampire are you?” I mumble.
“Actually, yes I am. Not that surprising actually.” She says.
I roll my eyes. “Eat any good cats lately?” I ask. And apparently, she takes me seriously.
“Yeah. There was this really cute one named Flufferina, and I kinda feel bad about it now. What do you think?”
“OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!???” Apparently, my yelling woke Nick up. And he thought I was talking to him.
“I’m not doing anything, I’m not doing anything!” He says.
“I’m not talking about you, Nick! God, what’s wrong with you people?” I say. “I have some crazy friends.” I get up. “So, what happened? You know, while I was dreaming about purple princess ponies?” They laugh.
“Oh my god, that is so you, Lexi! Wait, are you serious?” Willow says.
“Um, yeah. Did you think I was kidding?”
“Well, kinda.” Willow holds back a grin. “Anyways, not much happened at all. No one else got struck by lightning, by the way.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re all crazy. Anyways, let’s go……..Wait a minute, Willow, you’re wearing pink. And Nick, it’s what, 9:00 at night, and you were asleep? This is not like you guys.” I don’t hear what they say next, because everything goes blurry. And then I wake up. I’m in this really cold room. Nick, Olivia, and Professor Smith are all passed out next to me. But we’re all wearing disco costumes. It gets blurry again. And then I wake up for real. I’m in a dark, empty room. Alone. Or at least that’s what I think.
“Well, well, well, Alexandrina Starr. We’ve found you at last. Welcome to our torture chamber. Are you ready for some fun?”

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Publication Date: 10-21-2011

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