Sarang, Aruha Arif [the best motivational books txt] 📗

About Name:

 

Sarang.

Out of nowhere, he came into my life when I was obsessed with the idea that true love happens just once and your first love had to be your true love.

With thousand of problems circling around a young girl’s mind he came with the bouquet of happiness.

Well I? I was a little late to see that that bouquet contains hidden scars.

I was at that time in love with another guy, my first love, and I could have died just to have him, to possess him.

‘Love isn’t about possession’ he taught me.

Not just that, he taught me about love, patience, care and all, in a way that I will never forget nor I want to.

‘True love, that miraculous love happens only in books and movies’ I had heard that sentence many times, even I, myself used to say this.

But as he and I started sharing lives with each other, it felt like something new, good and beautiful. Something like miracle. Something which happens in books.

I kept avoiding the feelings, I don’t know why, maybe because it was just impossible between us. And so I never gave it a serious thought. We were just friends.

‘Well, why is he going to fall in love with me?’ this one question used to arise in my head and my heart used to shut up. My heart hadn’t its answer.

Life went on. We shared every single thing with each other, we didn’t know why. But, really, we felt at ease after sharing our innermost feelings with each other.

I told him the things I never told anyone. And he told me the things he never told anyone.

Suddenly, I stopped talking to him without any particular reason. Now I know fate had its hand in it, maybe to make our story beautiful. Worth telling.

‘Hello’ I texted him after two weeks of that unknown-silent-thing.

‘Hey’ he instantly replied back as if he was waiting for my text.

The conversation went on, talking about usual things.

‘Have you ever thought of us?’ he asked a question suddenly I never imagined he would ask, but my heart always wanted him to ask.

‘Of us?’ I confirmed out of my sweet-irritating thoughts. And I guess, I knew what his next text would be and my heart was jumping.

‘Of falling in love.’

Even though I knew he would say this; my heart had told me this, still it surprisingly gave me a shock.

‘Wow’ I thought.

‘No’ I replied back.

I am lying to him for the very first time.

‘So, have you thought of us?’ I texted him back out of curiosity.

‘I was thinking of you a lot, I mean more than I think I should.’

‘So, you in love with me?’

‘I think I am.’

‘But it’s impossible between us, you know.’

‘I know, but I keep thinking of you. I can’t get anywhere.’

Anything between me and him was impossible because we were different, we had different religious believes. And my parents won’t allow that.

That day our conversation went on. I wanted to avoid him because I was in relation with another guy. Even though I knew something was going on in my heart too but I wasn’t ready to accept it. First it was impossible, second I was already committed and third that I never wanted to get hurt.

‘Weird, He is in love not I am so why can’t I stop thinking of him?’ I said to myself while I was about to sleep and his thoughts weren’t ready to leave me.

We didn’t use to meet more often, just once or twice in a month, usually in his back porch. But we talked almost daily.

We talked and talked and with his every single message I found myself wanting him more and more.

‘Ugh, what is he doing to me?’ I thought never accepting that some war was going on in my heart.

I couldn’t think of leaving that guy with whom I already was in relation with. Yes, we were having a bad fight but wasn’t this just another fight as thousand of fights we had before?

More than that he knew all about that guy and still he says he loves me.

‘He is mad’ I concluded.

Once I was talking to him on call and suddenly, I don’t know why, I just blurted out:

‘I hate you for loving me because it is making me weaker in front of you, at least you shouldn’t have told me’

Oh Crap! What have I said. I speak a lot.

‘I am sorry if this is hurting you. I never thought it could hurt you. I won’t ever even hurt you in my dreams,’ he said.

Oh no! His words. I think I am in love with him. But no! I can’t love him! I love someone else.

‘I have to go, I guess,’ I hanged up the call instantly.

What am I doing? What is happening? Ugh… I couldn’t help but frown.

From that moment on I don’t know why or how I stopped creating barriers between us and so the love, which was caged in my questions and fear, found freedom and grew.

After a couple of days, I was ready to accept that I was in love. Again.

So, a person can fall in love again. Wow. I couldn’t grasp the idea.

‘I love you’ I texted him suddenly while having a casual conversation.

‘He must have blushed,’ I thought.

From then on we started talking more frequently. He really loved me. Loved me in a way no one could ever love me.

The more we talked, the more I started wanting him. I also wanted to marry him but I was afraid of the fact that it was nearly impossible.

The love grew and grew, I allowed myself, despite of my fears, to remove all the barriers and love him like a flowing river.

That love taught me what I needed to be taught. He became the one who swept me off my feet.

That love guided me when I needed to be guided. He became the one who made me feel like a princess.

‘I have curves,’ once I said, when we were sitting on chairs placed in his back porch, holding hands.

‘Everybody has curves,’ he said, smiling.

‘No, the girls in the television don’t have,’ I said innocently making a face.

‘So?’ he asked.

‘So, you accept me with my curves?’ I asked.

‘Of course, I do,’ he said kissing me lightly on the cheek.

Wow, I guess I am blushing.

‘Look, I love you as a person and it doesn’t matter even if you bulge fat,’ he continued softly.

‘Wow,’ I said. I was happy to hear that.

He chuckled.

Oh! He is beautiful.

‘And you know, you are beautiful,’ he said as if I had said what I had thought.

‘I don’t think so,’

‘You don’t know who’s frowning for you, girl,’ he kissed my hand.

Oh! Wow! I am blushing.

We shared a beautiful love. He understood me beautifully and listened to whatever I said, no matter what.

We shared everything with each other even if it were the smallest. It gave me and him peace and talking to each other left us at ease.

Once I was talking to him when I realized I haven’t met him lately.

‘Oh! I met him two months before.’

I made a mental note to ask him if he had time to meet.

‘I want to you ask you something,’ his message buzzed on my cell phone.

‘Yes, ask?’ I replied him instantly.

‘What if one day, you suddenly stop receiving my messages? What will you think?’

Is he mad? What is it he talking about? Death, maybe. But why? Weird.

‘I’ll wait for your text because you are not going to die, if you are talking about death. I have some prayers for you and until those prayers are not answered you are not going anywhere. I do pray and I do believe because there is never a ‘No’ from God’ I replied him back.

‘I want to tell you something’ my phone buzzed me with another seriously irritating message.

Oops! I guess we are having a serious conversation. Where is all this getting?

‘Yes, tell me,’ I texted him this time waiting for a surprise. I could sense something bad.

Well, I wasn’t hoping for that much big surprise, not that much something bad. Seeing his next message brought shivers down my spine.

Is there any fault in my eyes? Am I seeing right?

I could have never believed that but I had to, there was something in that message which told me he wasn’t joking.

And then I couldn’t breathe properly. It was like something was stopping my breaths. I tried to take deep breaths realizing that message was stopping my breaths.

That message was very short. Just three words: I have cancer.

Tears brimmed my eyes, making everything blur. And it suddenly felt like I was having a dream.

And then I wished desperately to be it a dream.

But I could hear the voice of my mom outside of my room talking to my brother, maybe. I could feel my hairs blowing with the air of fan. I could feel my tears passing down my cheeks and falling over my hand with which I was holding that cell phone.

I was brought down to earth by another beep on the cell phone.

That message blinked waiting to be read as a threat by my death angel.

‘That’s of a bone marrow.’

With that message, another followed:

‘You know my hairs are falling because of chemotherapies and I love my hairs.’

‘Awh, it doesn’t matter, I think you’ll look good even without your hairs.’ I replied him because I didn’t know what else to say. Besides I imagined him without hairs, in a fraction of second, and decided he really won’t look bad.

‘Are you going to leave me?’

‘Why will I leave you?’

‘Because whenever people hear that they start avoiding me and that is the same reason I was afraid to tell you. I don’t want to loose you.’

‘Should I call you mad? Of course I am not going to leave you. You’ll never loose me. Have you forgotten my promises? I promised you to be with you forever and grow old together?’ I tried to act normal as best as I could.

‘So, you aren’t leaving me?’

‘Of course no.’

‘I love you very very much.’

‘I love you too.’

‘You won’t like me when you’ll see me.’

‘Who told you so? Of course I’ll love you.’

‘I look funny’

‘Or maybe cool.’

Well he was, at that time, so conscious about his looks. He was beautiful, smart. More than that he had a heart which was beautiful and precious, worth than a million dollar. And I loved him no matter what.

The only thing I hated about him was that he had started talking about death a lot. I kept giving him hope and he was leaving all his hope, and that was what made my heart weaker. I asked to meet him and as expected he wasn’t ready to meet. He was extremely conscious about his looks. He thought I would hate him when I’ll see him. Finally, I persuaded him.

When I saw him I became sad not because he looked bad, he looked beautiful, but because he was getting much weaker.

‘Hey’ he smiled standing in his doorway.

I ran into him to give him a big tight hug. I realized I missed his touch as he gently wrapped his lean hands around me, cradling me like a small baby.

The thought that he is suffering wanted to make me cry but I hurriedly put all the bad thoughts aside. I didn’t want to cry in front of him or it will hurt him to see me like that and of course nothing is going to happen to him, he’ll be alright.

I really do love him.

‘I don’t want you to fall in love with me madly,’ he whispered.

Ugh! How can he read my thoughts? Well, isn’t that the best part about him?

‘Why?’ I asked.

‘Because it will be hard for you to take it, my death,’

‘You aren’t going to die. I want you to live. I know you’ll have great grand children,’ I said getting a little angry.

‘You know you are my bestest friend,’ he leaned in to kiss me on