The Troll Garden and Selected Stories, Willa Cather [some good books to read txt] 📗

bestowed on any one, and which seemed to say, “Yes, I admire you, but I am your equal.”

Clara was proving a much better host than Olaf, who, once the supper was over, seemed to feel no interest in anything but the lanterns. He had brought a locomotive headlight from town to light the revels, and he kept skulking about as if he feared the mere light from it might set his new barn on fire. His wife, on the contrary, was cordial to every one, was animated and even gay. The deep salmon colour in her cheeks burned vividly, and her eyes were full of life. She gave the piano over to the fat Swedish heiress, pulled her father away from the corner where he sat gossiping with his cronies, and made him dance a Bohemian dance with her. In his youth Joe had been a famous dancer, and his daughter got him so limbered up that every one sat around and applauded them. The old ladies were particularly delighted, and made them go through the dance again. From their corner where they watched and commented, the old women kept time with their feet and hands, and whenever the fiddles struck up a new air old Mrs. Svendsen’s white cap would begin to bob.

Clara was waltzing with little Eric when Nils came up to them, brushed his brother aside, and swung her out among the dancers. “Remember how we used to waltz on rollers at the old skating rink in town? I suppose people don’t do that any more. We used to keep it up for hours. You know, we never did moon around as other boys and girls did. It was dead serious with us from the beginning. When we were most in love with each other, we used to fight. You were always pinching people; your fingers were like little nippers.

A regular snapping turtle, you were. Lord, how you’d like Stockholm! Sit out in the streets in front of cafes and talk all night in summer. just like a reception—officers and ladies and funny English people. Jolliest people in the world, the Swedes, once you get them going. Always drinking things—champagne and stout mixed, half-and-half, serve it out of big pitchers, and serve plenty. Slow pulse, you know; they can stand a lot. Once they light up, they’re glowworms, I can tell you.”

“All the same, you don’t really like gay people.”

“<i>I</i> don’t?”

“No; I could tell that when you were looking at the old women there this afternoon. They’re the kind you really admire, after all; women like your mother. And that’s the kind you’ll marry.”

“Is it, Miss Wisdom? You’ll see who I’ll marry, and she won’t have a domestic virtue to bless herself with. She’ll be a snapping turtle, and she’ll be a match for me. All the same, they’re a fine bunch of old dames over there. You admire them yourself

“No, I don’t; I detest them.”

“You won’t, when you look back on them from Stockholm or Budapest. Freedom settles all that. Oh, but you’re the real Bohemian Girl, Clara Vavrika!” Nils laughed down at her sullen frown and began mockingly to sing:

“Oh, how could a poor gypsy maiden like me Expect the proud bride of a baron to be?”

Clara clutched his shoulder. “Hush, Nils; every one is looking at you.”

“I don’t care. They can’t gossip. It’s all in the family, as the Ericsons say when they divide up little Hilda’s patrimony amongst them. Besides, we’ll give them something to talk about when we hit the trail. Lord, it will be a godsend to them! They haven’t had anything so interesting to chatter about since the grasshopper year. It’ll give them a new lease of life. And Olaf won’t lose the Bohemian vote, either. They’ll have the laugh on him so that they’ll vote two apiece. They’ll send him to Congress. They’ll never forget his barn party, or us. They’ll always remember us as we’re dancing together now. We’re making a legend. Where’s my waltz, boys?” he called as they whirled past the fiddlers.

The musicians grinned, looked at each other, hesitated, and began a new air; and Nils sang with them, as the couples fell from a quick waltz to a long, slow glide:

“When other lips and other hearts Their tale of love shall tell, In language whose excess imparts The power they feel so well.”

The old women applauded vigorously. “What a gay one he is, that Nils!” And old Mrs. Svendsen’s cap lurched dreamily from side to side to the flowing measure of the dance.

Of days that have as ha-a-p-py been, And you’ll remember me.”

 

VII

The moonlight flooded that great, silent land. The reaped fields lay yellow in it. The straw stacks and poplar windbreaks threw sharp black shadows. The roads were white rivers of dust. The sky was a deep, crystalline blue, and the stars were few and faint. Everything seemed to have succumbed, to have sunk to sleep, under the great, golden, tender, midsummer moon. The splendour of it seemed to transcend human life and human fate. The senses were too feeble to take it in, and every time one looked up at the sky one felt unequal to it, as if one were sitting deaf under the waves of a great river of melody. Near the road, Nils Ericson was lying against a straw stack in Olaf’s wheat field. His own life seemed strange and unfamiliar to him, as if it were something he had read about, or dreamed, and forgotten. He lay very still, watching the white road that ran in front of him, lost itself among the fields, and then, at a distance, reappeared over a little hill. At last, against this white band he saw something moving rapidly, and he got up and walked to the edge of the field. “She is passing the row of poplars now,” he thought. He heard the padded beat of hoofs along the dusty road, and as she came into sight he stepped out and waved his arms. Then, for fear of frightening the horse, he drew back and waited. Clara had seen him, and she came up at a walk. Nils took the horse by the bit and stroked his neck.

“What are you doing out so late, Clara Vavrika? I went to the house, but Johanna told me you had gone to your father’s.”

“Who can stay in the house on a night like this? Aren’t you out yourself?”

“Ah, but that’s another matter.”

Nils turned the horse into the field.

“What are you doing? Where are you taking Norman?”

“Not far, but I want to talk to you tonight; I have something to say to you. I can’t talk to you at the house, with Olaf sitting there on the porch, weighing a thousand tons.”

Clara laughed. “He won’t be sitting there now. He’s in bed by this time, and asleep—weighing a thousand tons.”

Nils plodded on across the stubble. “Are you really going to spend the rest of your life like this, night after night, summer after summer? Haven’t you anything better to do on a night like this than to wear yourself and Norman out tearing across the country to your father’s and back? Besides, your father won’t live forever, you know. His little place will be shut up or sold, and then you’ll have nobody but the Ericsons. You’ll have to fasten down the hatches for the winter then.”

Clara moved her head restlessly. “Don’t talk about that. I try never to think of it. If I lost Father I’d lose everything, even my hold over the Ericsons.”

“Bah! You’d lose a good deal more than that. You’d lose your race, everything that makes you yourself. You’ve lost a good deal of it now.”

“Of what?”

“Of your love of life, your capacity for delight.”

Clara put her hands up to her face. “I haven’t, Nils Ericson, I haven’t! Say anything to me but that. I won’t have it!” she declared vehemently.

Nils led the horse up to a straw stack, and turned to Clara, looking at her intently, as he had looked at her that Sunday afternoon at Vavrika’s. “But why do you fight for that so? What good is the power to enjoy, if you never enjoy? Your hands are cold again; what are you afraid of all the time? Ah, you’re afraid of losing it; that’s what’s the matter with you! And you will, Clara Vavrika, you will! When I used to know you—listen; you’ve caught a wild bird in your hand, haven’t you, and felt its heart beat so hard that you were afraid it would shatter its little body to pieces? Well, you used to be just like that, a slender, eager thing with a wild delight inside you. That is how I remembered you. And I come back and find you—a bitter woman. This is a perfect ferret fight here; you live by biting and being bitten. Can’t you remember what life used to be? Can’t you remember that old delight? I’ve never forgotten it, or known its like, on land or sea.”

He drew the horse under the shadow of the straw stack. Clara felt him take her foot out of the stirrup, and she slid softly down into his arms. He kissed her slowly. He was a deliberate man, but his nerves were steel when he wanted anything. Something flashed out from him like a knife out of a sheath. Clara felt everything slipping away from her; she was flooded by the summer night. He thrust his hand into his pocket, and then held it out at arm’s length. “Look,” he said. The shadow of the straw stack fell sharp across his wrist, and in the palm of his hand she saw a silver dollar shining. “That’s my pile,” he muttered; “will you go with me?”

Clara nodded, and dropped her forehead on his shoulder.

Nils took a deep breath. “Will you go with me tonight?”

“Where?” she whispered softly.

“To town, to catch the midnight flyer.”

Clara lifted her head and pulled herself together. “Are you crazy, Nils? We couldn’t go away like that.”

“That’s the only way we ever will go. You can’t sit on the bank and think about it. You have to plunge. That’s the way I’ve always done, and it’s the right way for people like you and me. There’s nothing so dangerous as sitting still. You’ve only got one life, one youth, and you can let it slip through your fingers if you want to; nothing easier. Most people do that. You’d be better off tramping the roads with me than you are here.” Nils held back her head and looked into her eyes. “But I’m not that kind of a tramp, Clara. You won’t have to take in sewing. I’m with a Norwegian shipping line; came over on business with the New York offices, but now I’m going straight back to Bergen. I expect I’ve got as much money as the Ericsons. Father sent me a little to get started. They never knew about that. There, I hadn’t meant to tell you; I wanted you to come on your own nerve.”

Clara looked off across the fields. “It isn’t that, Nils, but something seems to hold me. I’m afraid to pull against it. It comes out of the ground, I think.”

“I know all about that. One has to tear loose. You’re not needed here. Your father will understand; he’s made like us. As for Olaf, Johanna will take better care of him than ever you could. It’s now or never, Clara Vavrika. My bag’s at the station; I smuggled it there yesterday.”

Clara clung to him and hid her face against his shoulder. “Not tonight,” she whispered. “Sit here and talk to me tonight. I don’t want to go anywhere tonight. I may never love