The Princess Passes Volume 56, Alice Muriel Williamson, Charles Norris Williamson [primary phonics txt] 📗

Chapter 1 (Woman Disposes) Pg 5

Things To Eat, And Especially To Drink, But We Gave Them The Cut

Direct, Though I Recall Vaguely The Fizz Of Soda Shooting From The

Syphon, And Afterwards Holding A Glass In My Hand.

 

"Do You Mind My Saying What I Think Of Lady Blantock And Her

Daughter?" Inquired Molly, With The Meek Sweetness Of A Coaxing

Child. "Perhaps I Oughtn't, But It Would Be A Relief To My Feelings."

 

"I Wonder If It Would To Mine?" I Remarked Impersonally, Addressing

The Ancient Tapestry On An Opposite Wall.

 

"Let's Try, And See," Persisted Molly. "Calculating Cats! There, It's

Out. I Wouldn't Have Eaten Their Old Dinner, Except To Please You.

I've Known Them Only Thirteen Days, But I Could Have Said The Same

Thing When I'd Known Them Thirteen Minutes. Indeed, I'm Not Sure I

Didn't Say It To Jack. Did I, Or Did I Not. Lightning Conductor?"

 

"You Did," Replied The Person Addressed, Answering With A Smile To The

Name Which He Had Earned In Playing The Part Of Molly Randolph's

Chauffeur, In The Making Of Their Love Story.

 

"Women Always Know Things About Each Other--The Sort Of Things The

Others Don't Want Them To Know," Molly Went On; "But There's No Use In

Our Warning Men Who Think They Are In Love With Calculating Cats,

Because They Would Be Certain We Were Jealous. Of Course I Shouldn't

Say This To You, Lord Lane, If You Hadn't Taken Me Into Your

Confidence A Little--That Night Of My First London Ball."

 

"It Was The Night I Proposed To Nell," I Said, Half To Myself.

 

"Sir Horace Jerveyson Was At The Ball, Too."

 

"Talking To Lady Blantock."

 

"And Looking At Miss Blantock. I Noticed, And--I Put Things Together."

 

"Who Would Ever Have Thought Of Putting Those Two Together?"

 

"I Did. I Said To Myself And Afterwards To Jack--May I Tell You What I

Said?"

 

"Please Do. If It Hurts, It Will Be A Counter-Irritant."

 

"Well, Jack Had Told Me Such Heaps About You, You Know, And He'd

Hinted That, While We Were Having Our Great Romance On A Motor Car,

You Were Having One On Toboggans And Skates At Davos, So I Was

Interested. Then I Saw Her At The Ball, And We Were Introduced. She

Was Pretty, But--A Prize White Persian Kitten Is Pretty; Also It Has

Little Claws. She Liked You, Of Course, Because You're Young And

Good-Looking. Besides, Her Father Was Knighted Only Because He

Discovered A New Microbe Or Something, While You're A 'Hearl,' As My

New Maid Says."

Chapter 1 (Woman Disposes) Pg 6

"A Penniless 'Hearl,'" I Laughed.

 

"You Must Have Plenty Of Pennies, For You Seem To Have Everything A

Man Can Want; But That Is Different From What A Woman Can Want. I'm

Sure Helen Blantock And Her Mother Had An Understanding. I Can Hear

Lady Blantock Saying, 'Nell, Dear, You May Give Lord Lane

Encouragement Up To A Certain Point, For It Would Be Nice To Be A

Countess; But Don't Let Him Propose Yet. Who Knows What May Happen?'

Then What Did Happen Was Sir Horace Jerveyson, Who Has More Pounds

Than You Have Pennies. Helen Would Console Herself With The Thought

That The Wife Of A Knight Is As Much 'Lady So-And-So' As A Countess. I

Hate That Grocerman, And As For Helen, You Ought To Thank Heaven

Fasting For Your Escape."

 

"Perhaps I Shall Some Day, But That Day Is Not Yet," I Answered.

"However, There Is Still Monte Carlo."

 

"Shall You Drown Your Sorrows In Roulette?" Asked Molly, Looking

Horrified.

 

"Who Knows?"

 

"Don't Let Her Misjudge You," Cut In Jack. "Have You Forgotten What I

Told You About The Italian Countess, Molly?"

 

"Oh, The Countess With Whom Lord Lane Used To Flirt At Davos Before He

Met Miss Blantock? Now I See. You Said That You Were Going To Monte

Carlo, On Purpose To Make Helen Blantock Jealous."

 

"I'm Afraid Some Spiteful Idea Of The Sort Was In My Mind," I

Admitted. "But The Countess Is Fascinating, And If She Would Be Kind,

Monte Carlo Might Effect A Cure Of The Heart, As Davos Did Of The

Lungs."

 

"I Believe You're Capable Of Marrying For Pique. Oh, If I Could Prove

To You That You Aren't, And Never Have Been, In Love With Helen!"

 

"It Would Be Difficult."

 

"I'll Engage To Do It, If You'll Take My Prescription."

 

"What Is That?"

 

"Cheerful Society And Amusement. In Other Words, Jack's And My

Society, And A Tour On Our Motor Car."

 

"What, Make A Discord In The Music Of Your Duet?"

 

"Dear Old Boy, We Want You," Said Jack.

 

I Was Grateful. "I Can't Tell How Much I Thank You," I Answered. "But

I'm In No Mood For Companionship. The Fact Is, I'm Stunned For The

Moment, But I Fancy That Presently I Shall Find Out I'm Rather Hard

Chapter 1 (Woman Disposes) Pg 7

Hit."

 

"No, You Won't, Unless You Mope," Broke In Molly. "On The Contrary,

You'll Feel It Less Every Day."

 

"Time Will Show," Said I. "Anyhow, I Must Dree My Own Weird--Whatever

That Means. I Don't Know, And Never Heard Of Anyone Who Did, But It

Sounds Appropriate. I Should Like To Do A Walking Tour Alone In The

Desert, If It Were Not For The Annoying Necessity To Eat And Drink. I

Want To Get Away From All The People I Ever Knew Or Heard Of--With The

Exceptions Named."

 

"One Would Think You Were The Only Person Disappointed In Love!"

Exclaimed Molly. "Why, I Have A Friend Who Has Really Suffered. Dear

Little Mercédès----"

 

Mrs. Winston Stopped Suddenly, Drawing In Her Breath. She Looked

Startled, As If She Had Been On The Point Of Betraying A State Secret;

Then Her Eyes Brightened; She Began Abstractedly To Trace A Leaf On

The Damask Tablecloth. "I Have Thought Of Just The Thing For You," She

Said, Apparently Apropos Of Nothing. "Why Don't You Buy Or Hire A Mule

To Carry Your Luggage, And Walk From Switzerland Down Into Italy, Not

Over The High Roads, But Do A Pass Or Two, And For The Rest, Keep To

The Footpaths Among The Mountains, Which Would Suit Your Mood?"

 

"The Mule Isn't A Bad Scheme," I Replied. "A Dirty Man Is An

Independent Animal, But A Clean Man, Or One Whose Aim Is To Be Clean,

Is More Or Less Helpless. If He Has A Weakness For A Sponge Bag, A

Clean Shirt Or Two, And Evening Things To Change Into After A Long

Tramp, He Must Go Hampered By A Caravan Of Beasts."

 

"One Beast Would Do," Said Molly Practically, "Unless You Count The

Muleteer, And That Depends Upon His Disposition."

 

"I Suppose Muleteers Have Dispositions," I Reflected Aloud.

 

"Mules Have. I've Met Them In America. But If You Think My Idea A

Bright One, Reward It By Going With Jack And Me As Far As Lucerne.

There You Can Pick Up Your Mule And Your Mule-Man."

 

"'A Picker-Up Of Unconsidered Trifles,'" I Quoted Dreamily. "Well, If

You And Jack Are Willing To Tool Me Out On Your Motor Car As Far As

Lucerne, I Should Be An Ungrateful Brute To Refuse. But The Difficulty

Is, I Want To Turn A Sulky Back On My Kind At Once, While You Two----"

 

"We're Starting On The First," Said Jack.

 

"What! No Cowes?"

 

"We Wouldn't Give A Day On The Car For A Cycle Of Cowes."

 

And So The Plan Of My Consolation Tour Was Settled, In The Supreme

Court Beyond Which There Is No Appeal. But Man Can Do No More Than

Chapter 1 (Woman Disposes) Pg 8

Propose; And Woman--Even American Woman--Cannot Invariably "Dispose"

To The Extent Of Remaking The Whole World Of Mules And Men According

To Her Whim.

 

Chapter 2 (Mercédès To The Rescue) Pg 9

     "What Is More Intellectually Exhilarating To The Mind, And Even

     To The Senses, Than . . . Looking Down The Vista Of Some Great

     Road . . . And To Wonder Through What Strange Places, By What

     Towns And Castles, By What Rivers And Streams, By What Mountains

     And Valleys It Will Take Him Ere He Reaches His Destination?"--_The

     Spectator_.

 

 

That Locker Should Have Come In At The Moment When I Was Trying On My

New Automobile Get-Up Was More Than A Pin-Prick To My Already Ruffled

Sensibilities--It Was A Knife-Thrust.

 

"What On Earth Are You Laughing At, Man?" I Demanded, Whipping Off The

Goggles That Made Me Look Like A Senile Owl, And Facing Him Angrily,

As He Had A Sudden Need To Cover His Mouth With A Decorous Palm.

 

"I Beg Pardon, Me Lord," He Said. "It Was Coming On You Sudden In Them

Things. I Never Thought To See You, Me Lord, In Hotomobeel

Clothes--You Who Always Was So Down On The 'Orrid Machines."

 

"Well, Help Me Out Of Them," I Answered, Feeling The Justice Of

Locker's Implied Rebuke. I Twisted My Wrists Free Of The Elastic

Wind-Cuffs, And Shed The Unpleasantly Heavy Coat That Winston Had

Insisted I Should Buy.

 

"And You Such A Friend Of The 'Orse Too, Me Lord," Added Locker, Aware

That He Had Me At A Disadvantage.

 

I Winced, And Felt The Need Of Self-Justification. "You're Right," I

Said. "I Never Thought I Should Come To It. But All Men Fall Sooner Or

Later, And I Have Held Out Longer Than Most. Don't Be Afraid, Though,

That I Am Going To Have A Machine Of My Own: I Haven't Quite Sunk To

That; If