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a house phone and hasn’t called in ages, it kinda feels as though we are not really dating at all though but I just moved on and plus life is way too short for dealing with foolish snooty individuals. And well it seems that people are not who they say they are and the most important thing that I had to learn was to guard my heart and to not allow people to deceive you of how they act and what not and people would do so much things to use others as an advantage to get over in life, it is starting to get out of control the way marriages are and relationships are now you know?

And that’s why now days you can’t trust anybody because people will appear to change or smile in your face but that doesn’t mean that the person is changed or not. So people can do things and at the same time be smart with it. Soon after wards I withdraw from my reading class because I couldn’t pass it. The teacher was not very supportive to my helping needs. She was more of a “Chair-headed” person that just sits all day on the computer. One day I tried to talk to her about some student hours and she kept going on about how I always leaving too early, I told her that I had a doctor’s appointment and she still refuses to understand my situation and kept on talking about me leaving early and how I never turned in my assignments. My reading teacher’s name is Ms. Filer; they say that she was the only one who can teach all reading classes. Well that really sucks not to mechion I may be having her again… Most of all the previous reading course that I head and that sucks too but then again maybe they are all the same thing either way.


Chapter 19

Past VS Future


Last time about a week ago I went finally in so long go to a concert with my church mates.
It was very exciting that I had a chance to go and have a good time. I met some awesome singers at the concert there was this awesome chick and she had tattoo angel wings on her back and she was wearing goth/emo like makeup, and she was wearing a gothic white dress with a black vase top. She was awesome on stage… And as soon as the band disciple came up, I was jamming and for the first time I got into what it’s called the “Mosh pit” it’s like a group of people that go wild and began to bump into each other and so on. Well the best part about the last band that played and for the rest of my life was I head banged until I couldn’t it was awesome. And I along with the rest of the people fell on stage during the mosh pit it was awesome however I head banged so hard I was beginning to think that well although it’s very obvious that I over did it with the head banging after I was finished head banging I could barely keep my head up and I was so dizzy. My best bud Jay had to help me on the way to the car, and during the concert I brought me something to eat because my head was killing me and I hardly had anything to eat that day. Well there inside they had a lounge area and it was quite around a pretty good size descent room actually. And so anyways this random girl came up to me and I forgot her name however she looked as though she was around about between 14 and 17 years old. She came to me and said hi to me and asking me what was my name and took off and left. It was kinda bizarre though, meanwhile I was minding my own business during that time and I went to tell Jay about it too. Well after the concert, I and the others went back on the road, and I was soaked and wet and the next day I was very soar. My upper spinal bone was soar the sides of my neck were soar and even my legs were soar. So by Saturday within the same week after the concert I went over to my grandmother’s house and me and her had a good time except my little cousin at the least dint care or bother spending time with me or hang out yet my grandmother claims that he has been asking about me *humph* I guess when you get older as you do so does the moments.

Well after that I thought to call Blankman to see how everyone is doing and how the center is looking like even though I can care less about it anyways. So I called Danny (Blankman) and well us starting talking and then we got into the whole Sam issue about the reason that she broke up with me. And pretty much the way he told me seemed just as I figured that she would tell Blankman in ways to make her look innocent about what she did to me. So I told Blankman about it and then he was stressing the fact me being friends with her and well she was making herself look innocent and make it seemed like I was a low – class jerk and a jackass pretty much. And we’ll soon afterwards I told him that I will try and that I cannot make any guarantees that I will talk to her or what not. And well I thought about it over night, and called Blankman again and told him that it would be best if she moves on and so did I and that it was meaningless of me being friends with a person that mistreated me after all the good things that I have done for her. And after that he came back and told me all of what that he told her that he spoke to her and what I said to her. And the main thing he kept stressing about is he wanted me to be friends with her, and he also told me of how she cried about her mum having surgery and that how she was down in the dumps. I told him that I wish her well and for her mum and that I will continue to pray for her and so on. And within moments time he kept ministering to me about being friends with her and I told him no and he kept pressuring me about it. Man and he took certain things I said the wrong way. And the problem with Blankman is he allows her to put things in his head and cause him to be so one tract minded unto the fact that she changed…. And you know I am going to say this, it is good that she changed for the right purpose of getting serious with her work and focusing on what she needs to do. However Sam has to do that for her own benefit for herself and for to help her mum and relatives and friends, not to get me to be friends with her it’s like almost like going back to a deer hunters trap and getting killed without realizing it. And the fact of the matter is why I should be friends with a person that has mistreated me and used me and cared less about and the person you have dated that’s backwards. And I tried to get Blankman to understand but he refuses to understand my point of view and then he begins to take up for her for what she has done wrong oh well I guess some people are too naïve to understand.

Well after I went for the exam I didn’t do so well on the exam and I was disappointed afterwards. But I knew what I needed to focus on more and to pay close attention too. At any case no more holding back from school this time, when I start over in the fall I can’t allow anything to bother me nor distract me while am in school focusing which is why I told Blankman that I don’t want to be friends with Sam because it would only get in the way of my goals of finishing school and reaching my goals but it’s too bad that he couldn’t see that form the beginning so oh well the only best thing is that I tried and at all ends, ends well.

Chapter 20
A New Beginning

Well today while writing this book I learned my lesson about relationships. And for my I am not cut out for it, and prefer to stay single. Being single for the rest of your life is not such a bad thing, I mean just look at all of the good benefits of being singled. You get to do whatever you want without worring about if rather or not anyone is cheating on you or not calling to talk to you or spending time with you. And I also learned my lesson on giving my heart out to people too, and I also know that people who have been together for about 31 years suddenly gets a divorce. And the chart of divorcing is very high right now, and the best thing for me and being single is I learned that even though that as nice and good of a person that I am they can’t even tell even if it slaps them in the face.

One other thing I realized is the facts that if the more other people mistreat others that really loves and care for them and rejects them that they will forever lose someone that will forever love them for the rest of their lives. Although, I hate to do that but me talking to her will do her no good and nether will it be for me. The purpose on my end is to concentrate on my school work and other things; Sam is not a bad person she just has some bad habits about her that needs to change. However about Blankman was assuming that she still loves me on the inside. Though there are a few and may be a possibility rather or not if she does or not. But I would count on it, I mean she may have changed but the fact of the way she is on the inside towards others in relationships still lurks inside her.

Either way it doesn’t matter, and the way I see it is if she really changed just as Blankman says then I would believe that when I see it otherwise to be blunt, she would have either emailed me or called me. But in terms she didn’t so the way I see it is that she changed but not really much important to things that matters. On the contrary relationships are always complicated and certain amount of people’s minds aren’t really settle for what they have and then blow up a change of a person that love them to the day they die, without realizing what they say is there down fall in life to various of other people. Yet still most people talk the talk and cannot walk the walk that is the most important thing is do what a person says that will do. What I learned from all of this is that people later at the end regret for what they truly lost and the best person that really cared for them out of others that didn’t treat her right afterwards is she is downfall that everyone falls into every time. Mostly the cost of pain is
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