My Only Son, Danee Riggs [readict .txt] 📗

more and more time with DJ it seemed, she still managed to have a cake or pie, glazed ham, turkey wings or some other delicious dish to offer. With the family over every day, she always prepared more than enough.

Miss Wilma McFadden was over one particular evening, smacking loudly on a piece of ham that Lynn had carved for her in decidedly thin pieces, as Miss McFadden didn’t have a single tooth in her mouth. She was a kindly lady, old by count back when DJ was only eight and first started helping her with small tasks around her house. Each time there was news in the local paper about his performance in a game, she would tell the story to anyone who would listen about how she met DJ. “I was walking down the street carrying about ten bags of groceries...” Big Derek smiled, rocking back in is chair. The only thing that changed about her story was the number of bags she was carrying. It varied between four and ten. He and Lynn would chalk it up to memory but every other detail remained exactly the same, year after year. “Uh, huh,” she continued, “and four boys went and ran right by me as if I wasn’t walking there. Uh huh, it was the Mitchell boy, the Starks boy, the oldest Burney boy, and Jerry Turner’s boy- a rotten one just like his daddy, uh huh. But then came the sweetest lil’ ol angel boy, Derek Junior.” He’d forgotten that Wilma still called DJ by his first name, too. “He stopped and looked at me and asked, 'Miss McFadden, can I help you with your bags?' Boy’s like a superstar and still, he's been helping me ever since.” Big Derek glanced over at Lynn. She seemed unusually fidgety. He figured it was because this was already the third time tonight that Miss McFadden recounted the story. He was grateful when her nephew, Paul McFadden knocked at the door. “Hey Big D, I’m here to walk Aunt Wil home. Hope she didn’t keep you too long.” Big Derek noticed that Paul didn’t reach out to shake his hand. He wasn’t upset. “It was good to see her, Paul. Thanks." When he came back from walking Miss McFadden to the door, Lynn had already gone upstairs. He could hear the soft murmur of her voice as she shared her thoughts with their son. I’ll take a quick shower before I go in, he thought. He was exhausted but with no complaint. Things were beginning to feel normal again- at least, in as much as they could.

The steamy hot water made him more tired than before and he was ready for sleep. When he walked into DJ’s room he knew that something was wrong. He sat in the dark when he talked to DJ at night, but Lynn never did. Now, she sat quietly on the edge of DJ’s bed, holding his hand. Without warning, Big Derek felt as if a hammer smashed into his chest. He was so used to being in this room in the dark that he could always see DJ’s chest rise and fall as he breathed. No matter how slight the motion, he could always see it. His eyes were adjusted to the darkness but now he didn’t see it. His knees buckled and the sound that escaped him as he crumbled to the floor was a primal and painful declaration.”NO!” His chest heaved and he couldn’t catch his breath. Tears ran down his face in rivers. Lynn was standing over him now, and even in the darkness he hid his face from her. Still he cried, “My only son! God please, he’s my only son!” Lynn fell to her knees in front him. She reached for him but he pulled away. Her words were a tortured plea, “Derek, he’s my only son, too.” Big Derek brought his hands from his face and looked at his wife. The agony that he felt was reflected on her face. He wrapped his arms around her, lifting her as he stood. They walked over to where their son lay. Big Derek lifted him gently between them. They held him and each other in the middle of the bed and cried.


A year later, Big Derek stood in front of the mirror in their bedroom. The attacks of agony that left him crippled in their wake came less often now. The grief however, was constant and he couldn’t imagine that it would ever leave him. Like a scar that he couldn’t see, he would bare it. He gave himself just a hint of a smile as his fixed his tie. It was the face of his son that he saw looking back from the mirror. Even the coroner reflected solemnly that there was an ever so slight, peaceful smile on DJ’s face when he passed. Big Derek wondered for the millionth time if his son could hear the things that he and the others shared with him in the quiet before he died. His eyes begin to well up with tears but he blinked them away. Not today. He would remember his son always but he would not cry today. They were informed that DJ would in fact, receive his dual degree in Exercise Science and Physical Therapy. "If he had continued on the track he was on, he would have graduated at the top of his class. We sincerely hope that you will attend the ceremony and accept the Degrees on his behalf." It was DJ’s coach that called with the news six months ago. “Mr. Harris, I know there was some misinformation that was put out there but DJ was a well respected, irreplaceable member of our team, of our family. I asked the Dean if I could give you the news. I wanted to make sure you knew that, since I didn’t get to tell you at the funeral.”

“Babe, we’re going to be late,” Lynn gently prodded from the doorway. She stood there for a moment and looked at him. It seemd as though she might cry but she didn’t. She walked into the room, adjusted his previously adjusted tie and said, “you are so very handsome. I love you." “I love you too,” he said, “with all that I am.” He held her hand as they walked out of the house. There was an audible gasp from Lynn when they stepped onto the porch. Their friends and neighbors had gathered outside of their door. Someone had hung a banner over the porch that read ‘Congratulations, Harris Family’. Flowers and balloons made a trail down the steps. “I said I wasn’t going to cry,” Lynn said, doing just that. Big Derek could barely hear her over the clapping. Me too, he thought. And I won’t, not today. He smiled and waved as they got into their car.

They walked over to where Shawn and Deb had saved seats for them. “The kids are lined up on the south side of the stage,” Shawn said. He shook Big Derek’s hand and then looked away. His eyes were red. “Oh wait, I’ll be right back.” Big Derek angled himself out of their row, only slightly annoyed that the seats were so close together and hoping that he didn’t miss Nate. Tania was further back in the line since they were arranged by last name. He saw her first and stopped. “I have to catch Nate but I wanted to tell you that you look absolutely beautiful and I am so proud. DJ would be too,” he added. “Big D, please don’t make me cry, you’ll ruin my make-up! I’ve already re-applied twice!” she smiled. “See you after,” he said as he made a dash to catch Nate. “Hey,” he said, a little out of breath. “I have to give you something." Nate looked confused. “Really Big D, you have given me so much already…” Big Derek cut him off, “Listen, I wanted to give you this when I got it but thought today would be more fitting. Earlier in the year, I went to see your MJ play. I went alone, had to see him for myself. His tone was somber but then he broke into a wide grin. “He’s even better in person. We’ll have to go see a game sometime soon. Until then he gave me this for you.” From his wallet, he pulled out a rookie card and an article from a local newspaper, yellowed at the edges. Nate recognized his named through blurred vision. The article, written when he was still in high school, detailed his first triple double performance. “Both signed by ‘the man’ as you and DJ called him.” “Wow,” Nate cleared his throat. “I don’t know what to say." Big Derek shook Nate’s hand. “All that you needed to say, you said in the fight to make it here. I’m very proud of you. And I’m grateful for what you were to my son, what you are to my family.” Before Nate could say anything more, Big Derek turned and walked back to his seat.

“Was that about the game?" Lynn asked as he sat down. “Mostly,” he said with a smile. They sat through the ceremony and when Nate’s name was called, Lynn reached out and grabbed Big Derek’s hand. “Coach and the Dean said that I could say a few words. I’m not that good at speaking in front people. I’m not that good with words. Actually, there’re a lot of things that I know I’m not good at. But if it wasn’t for one of my best friends I wouldn’t know that I could be good, maybe even great at many other things. I know I’m good at basketball and just yesterday I was recruited by the Philadelphia 76ers.” There was a burst of applause and whistles from the crowd. “I also know that if people say that you will never amount to anything, the best way to prove them wrong is to just prove them wrong.” The audience laughed. “So now I know that I can be good at so many things if I give myself the opportunity. And I am thankful that I have the opportunity. I also know without a doubt, that I will be a good husband if,” he paused before continuing, “if Tania Johnson will have me.” There was a collective gasp before the audience erupted into applause. Lynn and Big Derek looked over at Shawn and Deb who just looked at each other and smiled. As the applause waned, Tania jumped up and said, “Yes, I will have you!” That sparked another eruption. When the auditorium was quiet again, Nate was somber. “I know that I wouldn’t be half the man that I am today if it weren’t for the person who saw something in me that I couldn’t see in myself. He even had his family follow suit. I could never take the place of this man, wouldn’t dream of trying but Momma and Big Derek Harris, you’ve still got me. You’ve definitely got me. And Derek Harris Jr., DJ, you are my man, my brother forever. I love you man.” Everyone in the audience was on their feet. Tissues were being pressed into hands mid-clap. Guess Nate was wrong about not being good with words, Big Derek thought as he stood clapping. And he guessed that he was wrong about not crying today.