The Adventures of Gil Blas of Santillane, Alain René le Sage [most read books .txt] 📗

a change is almost inconceivable: and the best

of the joke is, that you are the worker of this unparalleled

miracle. Yes, my dear Diego, it is you who have transformed Donna

Mergelina; you have softened down the tigress into a domestic

animal; in a word, you have made her feel. I have observed it

more than once; and never trust my knowledge of the sex, if she

is not desperately in love with you. Such, my dear boy, is the

melancholy news I have to communicate, the awkward predicament in

which we stand.

 

I do not see, said I in my turn to the old man, that there is

anything so melancholy in this accident, or any peculiar

awkwardness in being the object of a pretty woman’s partiality.

Ah! Diego, replied he, you argue like a young man: you only see

the bait, without guarding against the hook: pleasure is your

lure; while my thoughts are directed to the unpleasant

circumstances attending it. Murder will out. If you go on singing

at our door, you will provoke Mergelina’s passion; and she

probably, losing all command over herself; will betray her

weakness to her husband, Doctor Oloroso. That wretched husband,

so complying now that he thinks there is no ground for jealousy,

will run wild, take signal vengeance upon her, and perhaps play

some dog’s trick or other to you and me. Well, then! rejoined I,

your reasons shall be conclusive with me, and your sage counsels

my rule. Lay down the line of conduct I am to adopt for the

prevention of any left-handed catastrophe. We will have no more

concerts, was his peremptory decree. Do not show yourself any

more to my mistress: when the sight of you does not inflame her,

she will recover her composure. Stay within doors: I will call in

upon you, and we will torture the guitar with impunity. With all

my heart, said I, and I will never set my foot again in your

premises. In good truth, I was determined to serenade no longer

before the physician’s door, but henceforth to keep within the

precincts of my shop, since my attractions as a man were so

formidable.

 

In the mean time good Squire Marcos, with all his prudence,

experienced in the course of a few days that the plan he had

devised to quench Donna Mergelina’s flame produced a directly

opposite effect. The lady on the second night not hearing me

sing, asked why we had discontinued our concerts, and the reason

of my absence. He told her I was so busy as not to have a moment

to spare for relaxation. She seemed satisfied with that excuse,

and for three days longer bore the disappointment of all her

hopes like a heroine; but at the end of that period, my martyr to

the tender passion lost all patience, and said to her conductor -

- You are playing false with me, Marcos; Diego has not

discontinued his visits without a cause. This mystery must be

unravelled. Speak, I command you; conceal nothing from me. Madam,

answered he, making use of another subterfuge, since the truth

must be told, it has often happened to him to find the cloth

taken away at home after the concert; he cannot run the risk any

longer of going to bed without his supper. What, without his

supper! exclaimed she in an agony, why did not you tell me so

sooner? Go to bed without his supper! Oh! the poor little

sufferer! Go to him this instant, and let him come again this

evening; he shall not go home starving any more, there shall

always be a luncheon for him.

 

What do I hear? said the squire, affecting astonishment at this

language; oh heaven, what a reverse! Is this you, madam, and are

these your sentiments? Well-a-day! Since when are you so

compassionate and tender-hearted? Since, replied she

significantly, since you have lived in this house, or rather

since you disapproved my disdainful manners, and have laboured to

soften the acrimony of my temper. But, alas! added she, in a

melting mood, I have gone from one extreme to the other. Proud

and insensible as I was, I am become too susceptible, too tender.

I am enamoured of your young friend Diego, and I can not help

myself; his absence, far from allaying my ardour, only adds fuel

to the fire. Is it possible, resumed the old man, that a young

fellow with neither face nor person should have inspired so

strong a passion? I could make allowance for your feelings, if

they had been set afloat by some nobleman of distinguished merit

— Ah! Marcos, interrupted Mergelina, I am not like the rest of

my sex; or rather, spite of your long experience, your

penetration is but shallow if you fancy merit to have much share

in our choice. Judging by myself, we all leap before we look.

Love is a mental derangement, forcibly drawing all our views and

attachments into one vortex; a species of hydrophobia. Have done

then with your hints that Diego is not worthy of my tenderness;

that he has it is enough, to invest him with a thousand

perfections too aetherial for your gross sight, and perhaps too

unsubstantial for any but a lover’s perception. In vain you

disparage his features or his stature; in my eyes he was created

to undo, and encircled by the hand of nature with the glories of

the opening day. Nay, more, there is a thrilling sweetness in his

voice; his touch on the guitar has the taste of an amateur, and

the execution of a professor. But, madam, subjoined Marcos, do

you consider who Diego is? The meanness of his station — My own

is very little better, interrupted she again; though were I of

noble birth, it would make no difference in my sensations.

 

The result of that conference was that the squire, concluding he

should make no impression on the mind of his mistress, gave over

struggling with her obstinacy, as a skilful pilot runs before the

storm, though it carries him out to sea from his intended port.

He did more: to satisfy his patroness he paid me a visit, took me

aside, and after having related what had passed between them

— You see, Diego, said he, that we cannot dispense with the

performance of our concerts at Mergelina’s door. Absolutely, my

friend, that lady must see you again; otherwise she may commit

some act of desperation fatal to her good name. I was not

inexorable, but answered Marcos that I would attend with my

guitar early in the evening; and dispatched him to his mistress

with the happy tidings. He executed his office, and the

impassioned dame was out of her wits with joy, in the delicious

prospect of hearing and seeing me in a few hours.

 

A most disagreeable circumstance, however, was very near

disappointing her in that hope. I could not leave home before

night, and for my sins, it was dark as pitch. I went groping

along the street, and had got, may be, half way, when down from a

window came upon my head the contents of a perfuming pan, which

did not tickle my olfactory nerves very pleasantly. I may say

that not a whiff was wasted, so exactly had the giver taken

measure of the receiver. In this situation I was at a loss on

what to resolve: to go back by the way I came, what an exhibition

before my comrades! It was surrendering myself to all their nasty

witticisms. Then again, go to Mergelina in such a glorious trim,

that hurt my feelings on the other side. I determined, at length,

to get on towards the physician’s. The old usher was waiting for

me at the door. He said that Doctor Oloroso was gone to bed, and

we might amuse ourselves as we liked. I answered that the first

thing was to purify my drapery, at the same time relating my

misfortune. He seemed to feel for me, and showed me into a hall

where his mistress was sitting. As soon as the lady got wind of

my adventure, and had confirmed the testimony of her nose by the

evidence of her eyes, she mourned over me as grievously as if my

miseries had been mortal; then, apostrophising the absent cause

of my foul array, she uttered a thousand imprecations. Well, but

madam! said Marcos, do moderate this ecstacy of grief; consider

that such casualties will happen, there is no occasion to take on

so bitterly. Why, exclaimed she with vehemence, why would you

debar me from the privilege of weeping over the injuries of this

tender lamb, this dove without gall, who does not so much as

murmur at the affront he has sustained? Alas! why am I not a man

at this moment to avenge him!

 

She uttered numberless soothing expressions besides, to mark

distinctly the excess of her devotion, and her actions

corresponded with her words; for while Marcos was employed in

wiping me down with a towel, she ran into her chamber and brought

out a box furnished with every variety of perfumes. She burned

sweet-smelling drugs, and perfumed my clothes with them, after

which she drenched me in a deluge of essences. The fumigation and

aspersion ended, this bountiful lady went herself and fetched

from the kitchen bread, wine, and some good slices of roast

mutton, set by on purpose for me. She forced me to eat, and

taking a pleasure in waiting on me, sometimes carved for me, and

some times filled my glass, in spite of all that Marcos and

myself could do to anticipate her condescension. When I had done

supper, the gentlemen of the orchestra struck the key note, and

tuned their sweet voices to the pitch of their guitars. We played

and sung to the heart’s delight of Mergelina. To be sure we took

care to carol none but amorous ditties; and as we sung, I every

now and then leered at her with such a roguish meaning, as to

throw oil upon the fire, for the game began to be interesting.

The concert, though the acts were long, was not tedious. As for

the lady, to whom hours seemed to fly like seconds, she could

have been content to exhaust the night in listening, if the old

squire, with whom the seconds seemed to lag like hours, had not

hinted how late it was. She gave him the trouble of enforcing his

moral on the lapse of time by at least ten repetitions. But she

was in the hands of a man not to be turned aside from his

purpose, he let her have no rest till I was gone. Sensible and

provident as he was, seeing his mistress given up to a mad

passion, he dreaded lest our harmony should be resolved by some

discord. His fears were ominous: the physician, whether his mind

misgave him of foul play, or the spirit of jealousy, hitherto on

its good behaviour, had a mind to harass him gratuitously,

bethought himself of quarrelling with our concerts. He did more,

he put a broad negative upon them; and, without assigning his

reasons for acting in this violent way, declared that he would

suffer no more strangers to come about his premises.

 

Marcos acquainted me with this mortifying declaration,

particularly levelled against my rising hopes. I had begun

bobbing at this dainty cherry, and did not like to lose my game.

Nevertheless, to act the part of a faithful reporter and true

historian, I must own my impatience did not affect my health or

spirits. Not so with Mergelina, her feelings were more alive than

ever. My dear Marcos, said she to her usher, it is only from you

that I look for succour. Contrive, I beseech you, that I may see

Diego in private.