The Adventures of Gil Blas of Santillane, Alain René le Sage [most read books .txt] 📗

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At last, the moment I had been waiting for being arrived, namely

the dropping of the curtain on this favourite and standard piece,

we went, for my widow would go with me, behind the scenes, where

we caught a glimpse of Phenicia, who was playing off the amiable

and unaffected simpleton, and listening with all the primness of

studied simplicity to the soft chirping of a young stagefinch,

who had evidently suffered himself to be caught in the birdlime

of her professional or meretricious talents. No sooner did her

eye meet mine, than she quitted him with a genteel apology, ran

up to me with open arms, and lavished upon me all the

demonstrations of strong attachment imaginable. Our expressions

of joy at this unexpected meeting were indeed reciprocal; but

neither time nor place admitting of any very copious indulgence

in the privilege of asking questions, we adjourned till the

following day, with a promise of renewing our mutual inquiries

thick and threefold, under the shelter of her friendly roof.

 

The pleasure of talking is the inextinguishable passion of woman,

coeval with the act of breathing. I could not get a wink of sleep

all night, for the burning desire of having a grapple with

Phenicia, and closing in upon her in the conflict of curiosity.

Witness all the powers who preside over tattling, whether the

love of lying in bed, another passion of woman, prevented me from

getting up and flying to my appointment as early as good manners

would allow. She lived with the rest of the company in a large

ready-furnished lodging. A female attendant who met me at

entrance, on being requested to shew me Phenicia’s apartment, led

the way upstairs to a gallery, along which were ranged ten or

twelve small rooms, divided only by partitions of deal boards,

and inhabited by this merry band. My conductress knocked at a

door which Phenicia opened; for her tongue was cruelly on the

fidget to be let loose, as well as my own. We allowed ourselves

no time for the impertinent ceremonies which usually usher in a

visit, but plunged at once into a most furious career of

loquacity. It seemed as if we should have a tight bout together.

There were so many interrogatories to be bandied backwards and

forwards, that question and answer rebounded like tennis-balls,

only with tenfold velocity.

 

After having related our adventures each to other, and inquired

into the actual condition of affairs, Phenicia asked me how I

meant to provide for myself. My reply was, that I purposed, while

waiting for something better, to get a situation with some young

lady of quality. For shame, exclaimed my other self, you shall

not think of such a thing. Is it possible, my darling, that you

should not yet be disgusted with menial service? Are you not

heartily sick of knocking under to the good or ill pleasure of

others, of being cap-in-hand to all their caprices, and after all

to be entertained with that unchangeable tune called a scolding,

in a word, to be a downright slave? Why do not you follow my

example, and turn your thoughts towards the stage? Nothing can be

better suited to people of parts, when they happen not to be

equally favoured in the articles of wealth and birth. It is a

sphere of life which holds a middle rank between the nobility and

mere tradespeople; a profession exempted from all troublesome

restraint, and raised far above the common prejudices of humble

and decent Society. The public are our bankers, and we draw upon

them at sight. We live in a continual round of ecstacy, and spend

our money to the full as fast as we earn it.

 

The theatre (for she went on at a great rate) is favourable above

all to women. When I lived with Florimonde, it is a misery to

think of it, I was reduced to take up with the supernumeraries of

the prince’s company; not a single man of fashion paid the least

attention to my figure. How came that about? Because they never

got a glimpse of it The finest picture in the world may escape

the admiration of the connoisseurs, if it is not placed in a

proper light. But since I have been suitably framed and

varnished, which could only happen in consequence of a theatrical

finish, what a revolution! The finest young fellows of all the

towns we pass through are shuffling at my heels. An actress

therefore has all her little comforts about her, without

deviating from the line of her duty. If she is discreet, by which

we mean that she should not admit more than one lover into her

good graces at a time, her exemplary conduct is cried up as

without a parallel. She is called a very Niobe for her coldness;

and when she changes her favourite, she is reprimanded as

slightly by the world, as a lawful widow who marries a few weeks

too soon after the death of her first husband. If, however, the

widow should look for luck in odd numbers, and take to herself a

third, the contempt of all mankind is poured down on her devoted

head; she is considered as a monster of indelicacy; whereas we

happier women are so much the more in vogue, as we add to the

list of our favourites. After having been served up to a hundred

different lovers, some battered nobleman finds us a dainty dish

for himself.

 

Do you mean that by way of news? interrupted I as she uttered the

last sentiment. Do you imagine me to be ignorant of these

advantages? I have often conned them over in my mind, and they

are but too alluring to a girl of my character. The attractions

of the stage would be irresistible, were inclination all. But

some little talent is indispensable; and I have not a spark. I

have sometimes attempted to rehearse passages from plays before

Arsenia. She was never satisfied with my performance; and that

disgusted me with the profession. You are easily put out of

conceit with yourself, replied Phenicia. Do not you know that

these great actresses are very apt to be jealous? With all their

vanity, they are afraid lest some newer face should put them out

of countenance. In short, I would not be guided by Arsenia on

that subject; she did not give her real opinion. In my judgment,

and without meaning to flatter you, the theatre is your natural

element. You have admirable powers, free and graceful action, a

fine-toned voice, volubility of declamation, and such a turn of

countenance! Ah! you little rogue! you will bring all the young

fellows behind the scenes, if once you take to the boards!

 

She plied me with many flattering compliments besides; and made

me recite some lines, only by way of enabling me to form my own

judgment as to my theatrical genius. Now that she was my censor,

it seemed quite another thing. She praised me up to the skies,

and held all the actresses in Madrid as mere makeweights in the

scale. After such a testimony, it would have been inexcusable to

hesitate about my own merit. Arsenia stood attainted, nay,

convicted of jealousy and treachery. There could be no question

about my being everything that was delightful. Two players

happened to drop in by accident, and Phenicia prevailed on me to

repeat the lines I had already spouted; they fell into a sort of

enthusiastic trance, whence they were roused only to launch out

fervently in admiration of me. Literally, had they all three been

flattering me up for a wager, they could not have adopted a more

extravagant scale of panegyric. My modesty was not proof against

such praise from those who were themselves praised. I began to

think myself really worthy of something; and now was my whole

heart and soul turned towards a theatrical life.

 

Since this is the case, said I to Phenicia, the affair is

determined. I will follow your advice and engage in your company,

if they will accept me. My friend, transported with joy at this

proposal, clasped me in her arms; and her two companions seemed

no less delighted than herself at finding me in that humour. It

was settled that I should attend the theatre on the following day

in the morning, and exhibit before the collected body the same

sample of my talent as I had just displayed. If I had bought

golden opinions from Phenicia and her friends, the actors in

general were still more complimentary in their judgment, after I

had recited but twenty lines before them. They gave me an

engagement with the utmost willingness. Then there was nothing

thought of but my first appearance. To make it as striking as

possible, I laid out all the money remaining from the sale of my

ring; and though my funds would not allow of being splendid in my

dress, I discovered the art of substituting taste for glitter,

and converting my poverty into a new grace.

 

At length I came out. What clapping of hands! what general

admiration! It would be speaking faintly, my friend, to tell you

downright that the spectators were all in an ecstacy. You must

have heard with your own ears what a noise I made at Seville, to

believe it. The whole talk of the town was about me, and the

house was crowded for three weeks successively; so that this

novelty restored the theatre to its popularity, when it was

evidently beginning to decline. Thus did I come upon the stage,

and step into public favour at once. But to come upon the stage

with such distinction, is generally a prelude to coming upon the

town; or at least to putting one’s self up at auction to the best

bidder. Twenty sparks of all ages, from seventeen to seventy,

were on the list of candidates, and would have worn me in my

newest gloss. Had I followed my own inclination, I should have

chosen the youngest, and the most of a lady’s man; but in our

profession, interest and ambition must bear the sway, till we

have feathered our nest; that is as invariable a rule as any in

the prompt book. On this principle, Don Ambrosio de Nisana, a man

in whom age and ugliness had done their worst, but rich,

generous, and one of the most powerful noblemen in Andalusia, had

the refusal of the bargain. It is true that he paid handsomely

for it. He took a fine house for me, furnished in the extreme of

magnificence, allowed me a man cook of the first eminence, two

footmen, a lady’s maid, and a thousand ducats a month for my

personal expenses. Add to all this a rich wardrobe, and an

elegant assortment of jewels.

 

What a revolution in my affairs! My poor brain was completely

turned. I could not believe myself to be the same person. No

wonder if girls soon forget the meanness and misery whence some

man of quality has rescued them in a fit of caprice. My

confession shall be without reserve: public applause, flattering

speeches buzzed about on every side, and Don Ambrosio’s passion

kindled such a flame of self-conceit as kept me in a continual

ferment of extravagance. I considered my talents as a patent of

nobility. I put on the woman of fashion; and becoming as chary as

I had hitherto been lavish of my amorous challengers, determined

to look no lower than dukes, counts, or marquises.

 

My lord of Nisana brought some of his friends to sup with me

every evening It was my care to invite the best companions among

our actresses, and we wore away a good part of the night in

laughing and drinking. I fell in very kindly with so delicious a

life; but it lasted only