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before it killings me slowly…like gravel in the shoes…


GO WITH A BANG




I just met my friend previously this evening… We chit chat about things in life, and finally she told me about how she often caught up with mouth fight over something simple yet principle. Like she considered that the charges were outrages and therefore she complained. And she get angrier because those people talk very rudely at her…
Then after a while, many people advise her to not getting fussy over pricey charges… According to her, she did not appreciate that they try to give her higher price than usual… That was why she complained… But rather than listening to her they give response the other way rudely and therefore it drove her angrier. Then her brother warned her not get too emotional with any people as they might not go to let it go easily… She confessed me that after the warning from her brother she was a bit scared… Yeah, I know the feeling…

Recently, I have read and heard that many killings were done by employee to their employer over something simple or…well…heavier… There were two cases that still on my mind.
First, this guy brutally murdered his employer… A nagging lady boss and her crippled husband… The husband was okay, but his wife was unbearable. When the police asked, why he didn’t just quit, he said he feel sorry for the husband’s condition and want to take care of him. But his wife was rude and intolerance and always angry at him. Then one day, he decided to butcher the lady boss and he continued to the helpless husband. He said he did not feel any regrets but he do wants to apologize to the children. Unbelievable creepy guy…

The second, this gardener was lazy and the lady of the house told him to work… Not clear whether she told him rudely, but probably not…as the maid describe her employees as a nice old couple. Since the gardener rarely worked and just busy sending text messages, the lady fired him. Unable to accept the fact that he is the guilty party in the first place, he killed the couple… Without thinking, without regrets…

Often, some people really drive you crazy with their stupidity, ignorance, stubbornness, rudeness, and made you feel you can kill them with bear hands… Especially when you are the one who paid them… You are unable to stop angry words from your mouth… And probably they do deserve it… But they do not feel that way… They might realize they were making mistakes… Not only they tried to deny but they won’t accept your disappointment…
Whenever I meet with people with the horrific potential, I keep reminding myself that I will never ever going to use their service again… If you are saying that what I am doing is wrong as it will not help that person learn from their mistakes…well… Some people do not care if they are making mistakes… If you do not like it then just shut up and paid me! If not, then I will kill you tonight since I have got nothing to loose…!

Yeah, I might just another coward…but then I still like to keep on wishing that I will die peacefully in my bed…and definitely not with the BANG!


NEVER SATIESFIED




I remembered when I was still longing to have a laptop… I could only look with envy, desire and wishing and dreaming to others people who bring their laptop. I could not afford because the price was really expensive…

Then year after year, finally I have the chance to buy my very first laptop. My cousin told me to start to think what kind of laptop that I would want to buy… Since I am a totally moron when it comes to technical details…I told him I would need nothing else as long as I can use the laptop to type… Standard programs like MS Word and Excel. He looked me exasperated and said, “You sure about that? I have accompanied many people buying their first laptop… All have said the exact same words as you… Then a few months later, they came to me and asked why their laptop becoming so slow in processing of almost about everything… I checked… It turn out they install so many games or programs… “

So, he continued that he did not want me to have a laptop with minimalist capability and little storing capacity…and later I will regret that I have bought it and want something else… Not a problem if money is not an issue and we both know I have limited budget… So, after discussing with him and my other cousin I finally bought my first laptop. My other cousin asked me if that laptop was not too heavy for me to carry around… And the idiot me said, “Oh, I think I will be using a lot more at home… I can use it at the living room or outside… I do not think I dare enough to bring it out of the house…”

Then, a few months later I try to bring my laptop to the mall and boom! The reality hit me that my laptop is so heavy I almost want to throw them out of the bus! As per your guessing, I start to dream to have another new laptop… The one that I can carry around the city without have to break my arm…

We are always like that in life… When we do not have the thing that we want…we sort of pray that hopefully someday it will be in our possession… The simplest version of it will be enough to make us happy… Then after we have it, we no longer satisfied with it and want something more… We never happy with what we have… Always able to see any flaws or what that thing missing of… But, when we do not have it…we become obsessed by it… Hoping that someday we can have it and promise that would be the last thing that we want on earth… After that we want nothing else… or should we say we want a lot more…

I guess it is just the way of the most of us… We always want something more (usually something we can’t have or…not yet)… But we hardly look at the thing that we have at this moment… I want, me want, want, want, want… Wondering if we have been given the world…perhaps we are going to ask a garden in heaven.


HARK WHO’S TALKING




I remember the time when I was still studying in high school. At that time, I was listening to my teacher explained did-not-remember-what. I started to listen to her when she suddenly told us about her experience meeting a guy in public transportation. Of course up to now I have no idea why she decided to share the story. But anyway, while shuddering she said that was the most hairy guy she has ever seen in her life. As if not enough, she then animatedly describes more about that hairy guy in front of the class. I was sighing and looked the other way getting bored when finally my eyes met with my class mate. He stared at me smiling widely then his eyes looking at the teacher then back at me. And then he imitated the way our teacher telling the story while also mouthing silently, “Hark who’s talking…”

That’s when I suddenly realized that actually our teacher…could be say a female version of a hairy kind of people. She has this sort of like moustache and beard, but of course not as thick as men. And of course those on her arms also a bit thick from a far she looked almost tanned. As for her legs, I do not think I need to continue to explain about her condition.

Of course remembering that, I realized that we always successfully able to spot other people’s weaknesses or flaws or mistakes. But when it comes to our own, we hardly even see it. Wondering why… Perhaps it has been attached to us for as long as we can remember and therefore we never really thought about it? Or we always find excuses for every mistake that we have made? Amazingly always manage to create reasons for every inappropriate action that we have taken towards other people. Having too over confident about ourselves; which is actually very good but not when we laugh about other people being size 12 while we wearing size 14. And when people reminded us that we are no better than them, we will nonchalantly retort back,” But of course, I am! I am much more than her…”


I always wondering about those people who enjoying laugh at other people while we can find lots to laugh at as well on them. But then again, we just simply human who find that is a relieving that other people are having worst condition compare to ours. Feeling like, oh Thanks God I am totally not like her. Pfff, I am so grateful I am nothing like him. Makes us feel that we are a better person. Hopefully can cheer our boring and miserable life…

(psst, I confess. I still do that too sometimes. Still try to reduce this bad habit)


IRKSOME




I know that everybody is different and clearly not always in an agreement about something. I also understand that people sometimes can be defensive when we ask them about certain things… Or try to help them by suggesting a better way to do something… If they are being defensive by it, I can understand. Maybe I did not say it in acceptable words so that’s how they react to it… Or they prefer to do it with their own way as for them is more comfortable that way… Okay, I admit… I used find it hard why they can’t understand that I just want them to think or do in the right way… But, later I realized that my way is not always right for other people… So, I let it pass…

Then suddenly those exact same people who were defensive and offended by my suggestion have changed their mind. They started to follow the way that I have once suggested to them or agree with the opinion that I have shares with them ages ago. At first I was like…wow… I did a poor job convincing them in the past… Just look at them now! They are now doing and think and act all the things that I have suggested to them in the past… Okay…

But what irk me when they start to suggest me to do the same thing that I have once suggest them to do… Like for example, your friend usually put two spoons of sugar in their coffee. And you suggest that she better take just one spoon to avoid diabetic problem in the future. Plus, the coffee won’t be tasted too sweet. Naturally, she became defensive and saying that she like her coffee that way. And offended as she feel she was not fat (from health suggestion could go over the board with weight problem) so she has nothing to worry about getting diabetic. OKAY… Right now, who knows she got her influence but good for her anyway. Then everyday she irks you by saying that you should take just one spoon of sugar to your coffee to keep the bitter taste and to avoid diabetic. Will you be looking at her thinking whether is this a payback time or she just want to joke around by imitating you? Or she simply feel overwhelmed by this

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