Exsanguination, Ashton Brooks [books to read in your 20s female TXT] 📗

 There are roughly nine pints of blood in the human body, which makes up about 7% of your body weight. If you were to lose 3-4 pints of that blood, you would die. As you bleed out, you’ll experience symptoms of hypovolemic shock. Severe symptoms include pale skin, dizziness, rapid heartbeat, weak pulse, loss of consciousness, followed by death. Sometimes, these symptoms happen very quickly. Maybe even under five minutes. Without blood, your organs can’t function. Without blood, you have no chance of survival.

Without blood… you die…

I’m in my senior year of highschool. I used to love school, but I guess I changed. Yeah, last year, I was class president. All A’s and B’s, too. I’m more of a C-D student now. Safe to say my mom doesn’t know that yet.

I changed a lot after the… incident. My grades plummeted, for starters. I gave up my role as class president. I actually switched schools because I was tired of the attention and meaningless pity and false platitudes. I was so tired of the words “It’s not your fault.” Of course, I also ended up here, talking to you, Doctor S. I guess you’re supposed to make me feel better or something. But just so you know, I’ve heard it all before.

The night my life changed was actually prom night of my junior year. Oh, I had this gorgeous light pink dress that was long enough to touch the ground. I felt like a princess. Melissa, she’s my older sister, had gone for a different vibe. She wore this dress that stopped right above her knees and was wearing what our grandpa would have called streetwalker shoes, not realizing the term had fallen out of favor sometime in the 1960s when most of the world collectively decided to treat women like...well...people. But about 30 minutes into prom, Melissa pulled me aside. She had tears and mascara running down her cheeks, which was super rare for her. Turns out her boyfriend dumped her for some other girl. On prom night. He was a real stand-up guy.

I told her she was too good for him, y’know, the usual stuff you say, but of course she was still upset. I decided that we should leave the dance. If I had just been broken up with, the last place I would want to be is surrounded by couples. Not to mention I was worried that if she stayed, Melissa might bury one of her spike heels in the neck of the smuggest, happiest looking person on the dance floor. I mean, they’re called stilettos for a reason! So for everybody’s sake, we left the school without telling anyone.

 We didn’t really have a destination in mind. Melissa and I had never been on the streets at night. But it felt… exhilarating. I wasn’t the type to break rules, ‘cause I was always afraid of the consequences. That night, we didn’t care about rules or expectations. Well, I’m not saying we broke the law… I wasn’t quite ready to have a criminal record.

I could tell her mood was improving after a bit of shopping. Melissa loved shopping, especially if it was my money she was spending. I considered just going home. I accomplished my goal of making Melissa feel better, and it was getting late. But prom hadn’t even ended yet, and no one knew that we weren’t there. Why not make the most of the opportunity?

We stumbled upon a grocery store our mom would take us to when we were young. Memories from our childhood flashed before our eyes as we entered the store. The store was nearly empty. Melissa and I looked at each other. We both knew what to do.

We grabbed a cart and Melissa got in. I took off my heels and ran as I pushed the cart around the store. We used to do this all the time when we were kids. We actually got kicked out of the store a few times after we kept running into things. One time, the cart ran into a container filled with brightly colored balls. The balls scattered, bouncing around the store and hitting shoppers.

Melissa and I got some weird looks, but we weren’t asked to leave the store that night. After exhausting ourselves, we left, laughing and joking around. It had been so long since I had spent some time with her. It felt so nice… It reminded me of how much I’d miss her when we left for college.

We decided that we should go home after we left the store. As we were walking, I noticed footsteps behind us. I turned around and saw a man behind us. The moment I locked eyes with him, he started to run towards us.

I grabbed Melissa’s hand and began to run. My heart had never beat so fast...

“Melissa, let’s go! We need to go!”

Melissa and I ran as fast as we could in our heels. Melissa led me into an alley, but we quickly realized it was a dead end. It was too late to turn back. We had no choice but to hide.

I crouched down behind a dumpster, hoping Melissa was right about this. But I knew this wouldn’t work. What were we supposed to do? Hiding was our last chance…

When we were little, Melissa and I loved hide and seek. I was always better at hiding than her. My favorite place to hide was behind the coats in the closet. I would jump out and scare her. It worked every time, confirming my long-held belief that I was the smartest sister. Once, to confirm it, we’d watched a spelling bee on ESPN with our backs to the TV, seeing who’d misspell something first. I won when Melissa tried to spell faux pas like she was talking about her enemy’s grandpa.

I shut my eyes and pretended that Melissa and I were playing hide and seek. If I was quiet enough, I would win. I just need to be completely silent. Hold my breath, shut my eyes, be completely still...

I heard the man’s footsteps echoing as he entered the alley. I covered my mouth with my hands as I started to cry.

The man spotted Melissa almost immediately. He grabbed her by the wrist and forced her out of her hiding place. Melissa screamed for him to get away from her. That’s when he drew a knife. Melissa went silent as she stared at the blade.

This… this wasn’t hide and seek. The reality fully hit me at that moment. This wasn’t a game.

The man demanded her money. Melissa just shook her head. She was shaking and crying, but couldn’t seem to scream. The man repeated his demand, more forcefully. Melissa continued to shake her head.

After a few more seconds, the man grew tired of this. He grabbed Melissa by the shoulder and when he did she let out a blood-curdling scream. Startled by her sudden outburst and hoping to get away, he raised the knife, and-

The man didn’t hang around the crime scene. He left immediately after piercing her neck with the blade. I slowly crawled to where Melissa was collapsed on the ground, her hands around her throat. Already, her blood was everywhere. Our clothes, hands, the ground… It was so warm. So sickeningly warm.

I pressed my hands to her wound, but the blood just kept flowing. I needed to call 911, but I couldn’t let go. She was dying… I knew, even then. She wouldn’t recover from this.

That night, I watched the life drain from my sister’s eyes as her blood escaped her body. They had to drag me away from her body as I screamed and kicked and cried…

“I can’t leave her! Let me go! Let me go!”

Those words they said to me...

“It’s not your fault.”

I’ve heard those words so many times… But they’re meaningless. I mean, a few words can’t change what happened. A few words will never change what I did. But I’ll remember those words. I’ll remember that lie every time I remember Melissa taking her last breath. I’ll always remember your empty words. There is only one word that matters to me anymore:

Exsanguination. E-x-s-a-n-g-u-i-n-a-t-i-o-n. Noun.  The action of draining a person, animal, or organ of blood. When their blood has been drained, and their heart stops beating. Exsanguination. Origin: Latin. A word that doesn’t even begin to describe the horror of watching her blood seep onto the concrete. The horrible death that my sister experienced while I sat by silently and did nothing.

But according to you, doctor, it’s not my fault. Do those words have any meaning? Does any of this have any meaning? Can you spell that out for me?

Publication Date: 02-19-2019

All Rights Reserved