Arms and the Man, George Bernard Shaw [best classic novels TXT] 📗

SERGIUS. How the deuce do I know?

BLUNTSCHLI. Have you four thousand?

SERGIUS. NO.

BLUNTSCHLI. I have. I have nine thousand six hundred pairs of

sheets and blankets, with two thousand four hundred eider-down

quilts. I have ten thousand knives and forks, and the same

quantity of dessert spoons. I have six hundred servants. I have

six palatial establishments, besides two livery stables, a tea

garden and a private house. I have four medals for distinguished

services; I have the rank of an officer and the standing of a

gentleman; and I have three native languages. Show me any man in

Bulgaria that can offer as much.

PETKOFF (with childish awe). Are you Emperor of Switzerland?

BLUNTSCHLI. My rank is the highest known in Switzerland: I’m a

free citizen.

CATHERINE. Then Captain Bluntschli, since you are my daughter’s

choice, I shall not stand in the way of her happiness. (Petkoff

is about to speak.) That is Major Petkoff’s feeling also.

PETKOFF. Oh, I shall be only too glad. Two hundred horses! Whew!

SERGIUS. What says the lady?

RAINA (pretending to sulk). The lady says that he can keep his

tablecloths and his omnibuses. I am not here to be sold to the

highest bidder.

BLUNTSCHLI. I won’t take that answer. I appealed to you as a

fugitive, a beggar, and a starving man. You accepted me. You

gave me your hand to kiss, your bed to sleep in, and your roof

to shelter me—

RAINA (interrupting him). I did not give them to the Emperor of

Switzerland!

BLUNTSCHLI. That’s just what I say. (He catches her hand quickly

and looks her straight in the face as he adds, with confident

mastery) Now tell us who you did give them to.

RAINA (succumbing with a shy smile). To my chocolate cream

soldier!

BLUNTSCHLI (with a boyish laugh of delight). That’ll do. Thank

you. (Looks at his watch and suddenly becomes businesslike.)

Time’s up, Major. You’ve managed those regiments so well that

you are sure to be asked to get rid of some of the Infantry of

the Teemok division. Send them home by way of Lom Palanka.

Saranoff: don’t get married until I come back: I shall be here

punctually at five in the evening on Tuesday fortnight. Gracious

ladies—good evening. (He makes them a military bow, and goes.)

SERGIUS. What a man! What a man!

End of Project Gutenberg Etext Arms and the Man, by George Bernard Shaw