Truth of Dark Pasts, Serena Wood [read my book .txt] 📗

thought, I’ve gotten so use to not talking to anyone about things when I know I probably should. For a brief second I consider telling her the truth but I’ve learned not to trust people. “No, I’m fine.” I mutter in order to make the nod seem more confident even though I doubt it looks that way. “... Alright. But if you do want to talk, I’ll be here and if she gives you problems come to me… As a matter of fact you can come in here during lunch if you’d like, I hardly ever have students in here. Does that sound okay?” she looks at me with those green eyes, only they look a lot warmer and nicer than they did when they looked at River. At least I haven’t given this lady a reason to be angry with me. “Y-yes mam.” I squeak out and finally she allows me to leave.

I find my way back to class and sit through a lesson on World War Two without River there to disrupt anything. But eventually the bell rings and I find myself walking slowly to lunch. I reach the crowded area and the first person I recognize is River, standing at the table closest to the door. With all her “friends” around her. I try to walk by them, try to become invisible as I walk by their table. But one of the blonde girls trips me before I can escape and their reign of torment begins. “oops, my bad Fugly.” the blonde snickers, the painful ring of that nickname already making my eyes tear up.

“Here, let me help you up.” the blonde pulls me to my feet before the others crowd around me and somehow in the mist I get pushed into the table. The crowd’s noise level rises and again I’m pushed, this time away from the table. “Get away from our table, freak. We don’t want your freak germs.” sneers the same blonde that had tripped me to begin with.

I sniffle and scramble away blindly, winding up in the lunch line. I’d been able to put up with their hateful remarks and the occasional bully for most of my life. They never seemed to bother me like this with River at my side, but now that she’s deemed me not friend worthy, it seems as if their need to bully me has increased. It’s almost as if River has given them more reasons to bully, no doubt she’s probably been spreading rumors.

I get my lunch and once I’m out of the line I find myself standing off to the side staring at that table of hateful teenagers. I’d gotten rather tired of being vexed by that girl for the one mistake I made and her “friends” seem even more relentless today. So after someone decides to grumble at me to move, I make the decision to take up Ms. Asher on her offer to hide in her room. I make my way to her room and sit cautiously at the one table she has in the corner of the room by the door. “Hi, Ellie.” she looks up from her own lunch to smile at me kindly. Before I can push out an awkward reply, she speaks again, “What are you doing here, sweetie?”

I look at her worriedly, as if she didn’t really offer for me to be here, or if she’s going to turn on me like the others had. “You said I could come here… I can go…” I stand up almost instantly, preparing to flee but she stops me. “No, No, I was just curious. I didn’t think you would really come here, you can stay. Please, the silence is driving me to insanity.” she gestures for me to sit back down and as should be expected, I follow the wordless order. After I’m seated, she studies me for a while, watching me like a doctor might watch a mental patient. After a minute, she goes back to nonchalantly eating her salad. “So why did you come here?” she asks after a moment. I sit there, unmoving, not wanting to remember the people I ran from. “Um, I just… did.” she stares at me quizzically and it’s clear I should have come up with something less idiotic to say.

“You didn’t want to hang out with your friends?” the question strikes a cord in my heart and I can’t help the answer that leaves me as I lower my head “I… I don’t have any friends.” she stares at me with disbelief “Well surely you have to have some friends.” she states and I shake my head slightly before I can stop myself. I think back on all the people I use to be friends with, most of them I had angered in some way, or because of other people they just gradually stopped talking to me. Other’s either moved away or became so distant and hardly seen that I stopped talking to them.

And then there’s River. I guess she falls into the category of friends I’ve made angry with me. “I use to have a few friends but… people have a habit of leaving.” I mutter in response and glance up at her briefly before hiding in my lunch tray. She sighs out, as if she’s disappointed.

“That’s a damn shame… I know this might sound like the worst idea, but I’d be glad to be your friend if the idea of being friends with a stuffy teacher doesn’t bother you.” she jokes, smiling at me when I glance up. “T-thank you.” I mumble, not exactly willing to make more friends after all that’s happened, but I don’t think there can be any harm in it. She is just a teacher after all, even if I’m not making friends at least I have somewhere to stay during lunch, just to escape the outside world.

“You’re welcome, friend.” the word strikes me as odd, foreign even, but I push it aside and go back to picking at my food in silence; eventually becoming comfortable enough to eat my food rather than just staring down at it as if I would be harmed if I did anything otherwise.

The rest of lunch passes in a silent, quick blur of time. Before I know it, I’m drifting through my classes and then the day is over. Then the week is over. I finally settle into this routine by the end of the second week, growing accustomed to the peaceful lunches in Ms. Asher’s room.

Monday of the next week comes along just like all the others, nothing special about the endless, boring classes. I still get the usual snickers and comments from the bitches River now associates herself with. Each day, my only hope is to get out of there as quickly as possible, ignoring their cruelty until I’ve reached my safe haven. Every day this week, when I reach her room nearly in tears, I talk to Ms. Asher a little more. Starting with short, timid sentences until by friday she’s gotten whole conversations out of me. Not too long before the last lunch bell rings, she makes a comment that I call her by her first name, saying each time she hears “Ms.” it reminds her of her mother. “Have a good weekend, sweetie.” she smiles as I leave, saying the same basic words she does every day before I end up going to my next class. The rest of the day seems to fly by, like it always does after lunch time. Everything before is just so sluggish and almost unbearable. I’m thankful, as always, when we’re released with the last bell.

Chapter 3 - "Return of the Vixen"

 

The first semester of the year is over and this week we’re moving on to new classes. I’ve successfully made it through my first class and I stare down at my schedule as I walk to my next class. I put the piece of paper away when I bump into some guy, who glares at me. I realize, only after I’ve passed him who it is. Instantly it clicks in my head that he was Ryan and I sigh in dread that he goes to the same school. But luckily we hadn’t met until now so maybe there’s a chance we’ll never cross paths. Despite that thought, I know better; he’ll become one of my many tormentors.

Sighing, I reach my second class. I nearly freeze in the doorway, spotting River in the second row. If it hadn’t been for the jock that pushed me into the classroom, I would have probably ran and hid. But much to my dismay, he does push me inside and I find myself sitting in the assigned seat two desks behind River. I mentally thank the Robertsons twins for having the only last name that stood between River and I. But still, I’m in too close of a proximity to her. Old emotions come rushing back to me.

I have over an hour of class time to just think as the teacher goes through the same first day blabber that I’ll be hearing all day. Now that I am thinking, and now that I’m just near River reminds me that I haven’t really let myself think. Ever since that day I kissed her and she walked out on me, I’ve involuntarily pushed all of my thoughts and feelings towards her to the back of my mind.

Of course I had that whole rest of the summer to self loath about the stupid mistake I’d made and the friendship I’d lost. But then school started, the bullying began and I never really came to terms with how I thought about the girl I’d known as my best friend up until such a sudden hault. Of course it wouldn’t take me an hour to figure that out. The teacher drones on, but I’ve stopped listening to him, in fact I never started; I’d been staring at River since I’d walked in and thoughts just kept racing. She turns around to pass papers back to one of the Robertson twins and I get a glance at her. She seems to notice me and for a brief second, our eyes lock. All in that quick glance, I realize that she’s meant more to me than just a best friend for a long while, maybe even before that “mistake” had happened. I don’t know what it is in this quick second that makes me see that, I don’t even know why I would think such a thought in the first place considering how she’s been treating me.

But there’s just something about the way she looked back at me, as if there was some struggle going on behind those brown eyes. Maybe, for just a quick second, she regrets it. Maybe for just a moment, I get a glance at the River I knew. The River I cared so much for. But in an instant she’s gone again, she’s replaced by this glaring, hateful River for a second more before she whirls around in her desk and avoids all eye contact for the rest of the class.

Lunch rolls around and I find myself walking, almost mindlessly, to the lunch line. I don’t get stopped today, I just