February 20th , 2016, Athene Minerva [7 ebook reader txt] 📗

This gilr needs a lot of rest , so I would ask you all to leave this room . NOW !

 

(The crowd full f sad faces leaves the room)

(D manages to cry herself to sleep)

 

AT THE SAME DAY –

 

(The psychiatrist Dr G enters the room , takes a seat near the bed and starts taking notes)

(D wakes up)

(D glances at the psychiatrist and rols her eyes)

 

D: Who are you ?

P: Good morning ,I’m Dr. G , your psychiatrist . You were brought yesterday afternoon to us . You had an open wound which we luckily managed to stitch .

 

(P tries to smile at D but gives her a sad look instead)

 

D: Stop looking at me like that !

P:You’re lucky , you know ?

 

(D in an annoyed tone)

 

D: NO ! I’m not otherwise I wouldn’t have killed myself . Or almost did it .

 

(D rolls her eyes and sighs)

 

D: Anway. What are YOU writing ?

P: Nothing imporant .

 

(D and P remain in silent for a moment)

 

(D whispers)

 

D: I want some coffee … Please .

 

(P smiles at D)

 

P: Sure ,I’ll get you some .

 

(D stares at the open window)

 

(P enters the room with a cup of coffee)

(D with a calm voice)

 

D: It’s beautiful.

 

(P looks at the same direction as D)

 

P: What do you mean ?

D: The sky . It’s so bright …

 

(P gives D the cup)

 

P: Here you are.

D: Thanks.

P: How do you feel now ?

D: Better.

P: How do you wanna answer ? In full sentences or with yes and no ?

D: Yes and no .

P: OK.

 

(P takes a seat on a chair next to D’s bed)

 

P: So … Yesterday afternoon , the 21st of October , you tried or almost did kill yourslf , right ?

 

(D keeps admiring the beautiful sky)

 

D: Yes .

 

P: You did it because you’ve had a bad day , right ?

D: Yes .

P: Do you keep having bad days on a regular basis ?

D: Yes .

P: Can I assume that you get bullied in school ?

 

(D starts crying)

(P hands D a tissue)

 

P: Do you have enough energy to tell me what hapened ?

D: No , but I could write it down …

 

(D looks at th papers at P’s thighs)

(P hands D some papaers and a pen)

(D sits straight and puts the papaers on her thighs and starts writing)

 

P: I’ll leave you now , okay ? I’ll come later and see what you’ve written .

 

(P smiles at D)

(P leaves the room and D starts writig)

 

She writes :

Yes , I indeed killed myself today and yes I am lucky that my mom found me on time .I’ve been bullied since the age of 5 years . I was in Kindergarden back then . There was a girl and this boy… They insulted me everytime they saw me . Then there was another girl who beat me up because she wanted to play with the same barbie doll as I . The kindergardenaunt heard me screaming but didn’t do anything … When the girl finally finished , the kindergardenaunt saw us and ordered me to give her the doll . She didn’t even ask me if I was ok . She also didn’t yell at the girl for pushing me or let her sleep as a punishment… She ignored what happened and continued doing what she was doing . Eversince I’m not the same … I’m terrified of her …

 

(D stops writing and sighs)

(D continues writing)

 

Later in life , I got beaten up by an older boy .. I was 8 I guess… After school I would go to a place where I can do my homwork and play with other kids ( as old as me or older ). When everyone was finished with their homework we would go tot he park and play with a chaperon . At this day , it was a man and I was the only girl in the group and the rest were boys . The chaperon found that it was a bright idea to play with the boys at the end of the park and let me play all by myself . Suddenly I saw lots of older boys coming at my direction . Then they made a huge circle around me and one oft hem got into the middle . He was OBVIOUSLY older than me . Maybe he was 12 back then . Out oft the blue , I felt his head hitting mine . The boys went tot he side and let me walk. I didn’t cry right away … I had tears in my eyes and when a few boys from my group asked me what’s wrong , I told them and cried . The chaperon heard what I said and yelled at them . That was just when I was 8 . By the age of 10 it got WORSE . When I was 10 . I had to suffer the absence of my father . Until THIS day I CANNOT believe that he ACTUALLY IS DEAD ! I’m 18 now and still have faith for him coming back . He had kidney cancer . He married sick ! Can you believe that ?! He passed on th e 5th of May in 2008. In September 2008 , I had to go to Junior High . I was a nerd in Primary School with straight As . There was the following problem : 4 months ago my father passed away . All of sudden , I was very quiet .Like , you wouldn’t even notice my absence . People would just think that I’m shy … But I wasn’t shy , I have social phobia … I still have it … Nobody concidered that I might be suffering because of my father … They noticed me gaining weight and would order me to loose it again … They never ask why I do this or that … In elementary school I was 1m50 cm ans 40 kg … With 11 years I weighted 50 kg … I looked round . I had to repeat the 1st form … I didn’t know HOW to study . All I could remember ist ha my dad would sit next ot m and my brother in the livivg room for Hendess hours and he would order me to do this and that . I really HATED this time and was GLAD as we finished. I also wondered how I gained ALL of this weight . He would also wach my food and tell me WHAT to eat … I didn’t know WHICH food would make me gain weight and I also had NO idea HOW I continued having such a petite figure … I repeated the 1st form because of maths ! I went from being a nerd in elementary school (with straight As) to having an F !!! I. WAS . SHOCKED . Just a few months ago I had super good grades and now I HAVE . TO . REPEAT ?!?!?!

It might soud fuuny to you if I tell you that I don’t know how to study , but THAT was what got me LOST !

 

(D falls asleep)

(A nurse enters the room and checks on D)

(The nurse smiles at D and leaves the room)

 

-THE NEXT DAY –

 

(Someone knocks on the door)

(A dark dressed woman enters the room and D wakes up)

(D looks at the smiling woman)

 

T: sshhhh

 

(D rubbs her eyes to make sure she wasn’t imagining this woman)

(Suddenly the misterious woman disappears and Dr G enterst he room)

 

P: So … You’ve been writing , I see . How are you doing ?

D:I’m ok …

P:You look so confused . Is everything alright ?

D: Yes … I just saw this woman who disappeared as you came .

 

(P holds in for a moment)

 

P: Good … May I see what you’ve written ?

D:Sure but I’m not finished yet .

 

(P smiles at D)

 

P: It’s ok .

 

(D gives P the papers)

(P takes the papers and starts reading)

(After a moment P puts down the papers and seems breathless)

 

P: So… Do you have enough energy to talk about it ?

 

(D nods her head)

(D has her eyes fixed on the papers and stumbles)

 

D: He died by kidney cancer and I started overeating .

 

(D sighs)

 

D: I went from 40 kg to 50 kg in a short amount of time .

 

(D sighs)

 

D: I had a HUGE belly . The weight gain didn’t stop . After I’ve repeated the 1st form , I got REALLY good grades . I had this girl in my class who had no religion . My classmates bullied her . They would get annoyedby ANY word she said .

 

(D stares breathless out oft he window and gives P a hand sign to give her pen and papers

 

THEY HATED HER !!! WITH EVERY WORD SHE SAID SHE GOT CRITISIZED !

 

(D shows P the papers)

 

P: Is this the way you wanna talk to me ?

 

(D nods)

 

P:And what did you do ?

 

I sat next to her but she didn’t really like me … At first at least …There was one time me and her were alone and we talked about our English teacher , which the both of us hated . After that she kinda started liking me .

 

P:How did the class react ?

 

In the beginning I tried to pretend to be someone else so they’d like me but then they found out that I was lieing , so they hated both of us . But the girl who they hated first didn’t even dislike me …They turned against us …

 

P: How did they turn against you ?

 

They would tell us to go away and be distanced . They wouldn’t involve us in anything … Me and the other girl sticked together but weren’t close friends … Not yet … Still in 1st form , she motivated me and was happy for me ...

 

P: Did this change ?

 

Things got worse in 2nd grade when this girl came as a new student in our class .She kinda looks like a man and is a muslim and is from Egypt … Like me .

 

P: Well , doen’t this sound good ? You being in a class with a girl who speaks the same language as you ? She is of large built so isn’t that good if you need someone to protect you ?

 

(P smiles at D)

(D shakes her head)

 

No, that’s not good !!! THAT’S NOT GOOD AT ALL !!!!

 

(P stops smiling)

 

P: What about the class ? How did they react when they first saw her the first time ?

 

I guess they liked her in the beginning but during the school year they hated her .

 

P: Why ? What did she do ?

 

She would annoy the teachers by shouting out THE WRONG ANSWERS WITHOUT EVEN RAISING HER HAND !!!! She just wouldn’t shut up . No even in break time . She’s always the loudest one in class . She is also stupid ( in her behaviour ) . She didn’t have good grades but with my help she got better . She kept having good grades but this doesn’t define her cleverness . Good grades only show how ambigious you are and how much you actually enjoy studying . You only know how clever or stupid someone is by their behaviour . Not only how they behave around your parents but also how they act on the street and in school .

 

P: Said once a wise woman

 

(P smiles at D)

 

P: You are very wise for your age.

D: Thanks .

 

(D smiles back at P)

 

P: How did she treat you in the street and around your parent ?

 

In school : badly

In ront of my mom : fake

 

P: What did she do to you in the street ?

 

I remember one time she insulted a very bad word in Arabic . She was like : You know what ? You’re this and that . I was walking behind her and we weren’t the only Egyptians in the street . I was