The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, William Shakespeare [book recommendations based on other books txt] 📗

But is this true; or is it else your pleasure, Like pleasant travellers, to break a jest Upon the company you overtake?

HORTENSIO. I do assure thee, father, so it is.

PETRUCHIO. Come, go along, and see the truth hereof; For our first merriment hath made thee jealous.

Exeunt all but HORTENSIO

HORTENSIO. Well, Petruchio, this has put me in heart.

Have to my widow; and if she be froward, Then hast thou taught Hortensio to be untoward. Exit

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ACT V. SCENE I.

Padua. Before LUCENTIO’S house

 

Enter BIONDELLO, LUCENTIO, and BIANCA; GREMIO is out before BIONDELLO. Softly and swiftly, sir, for the priest is ready.

LUCENTIO. I fly, Biondello; but they may chance to need the at home, therefore leave us.

BIONDELLO. Nay, faith, I’ll see the church a your back, and then come back to my master’s as soon as I can.

Exeunt LUCENTIO, BIANCA, and BIONDELLO

GREMIO. I marvel Cambio comes not all this while.

 

Enter PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, VINCENTIO, GRUMIO, and ATTENDANTS

 

PETRUCHIO. Sir, here’s the door; this is Lucentio’s house; My father’s bears more toward the marketplace; Thither must I, and here I leave you, sir.

VINCENTIO. You shall not choose but drink before you go; I think I shall command your welcome here, And by all likelihood some cheer is toward. [Knocks]

GREMIO. They’re busy within; you were best knock louder.

[PEDANT looks out of the window]

PEDANT. What’s he that knocks as he would beat down the gate?

VINCENTIO. Is Signior Lucentio within, sir?

PEDANT. He’s within, sir, but not to be spoken withal.

VINCENTIO. What if a man bring him a hundred pound or two to make merry withal?

PEDANT. Keep your hundred pounds to yourself; he shall need none so long as I live.

PETRUCHIO. Nay, I told you your son was well beloved in Padua. Do you hear, sir? To leave frivolous circumstances, I pray you tell Signior Lucentio that his father is come from Pisa, and is here at the door to speak with him.

PEDANT. Thou liest: his father is come from Padua, and here looking out at the window.

VINCENTIO. Art thou his father?

PEDANT. Ay, sir; so his mother says, if I may believe her.

PETRUCHIO. [To VINCENTIO] Why, how now, gentleman!

Why, this is flat knavery to take upon you another man’s name.

PEDANT. Lay hands on the villain; I believe ‘a means to cozen somebody in this city under my countenance.

 

Re-enter BIONDELLO

 

BIONDELLO. I have seen them in the church together. God send ‘em good shipping! But who is here? Mine old master, Vicentio! Now we are undone and brought to nothing.

VINCENTIO. [Seeing BIONDELLO] Come hither, crack-hemp.

BIONDELLO. I hope I may choose, sir.

VINCENTIO. Come hither, you rogue. What, have you forgot me?

BIONDELLO. Forgot you! No, sir. I could not forget you, for I never saw you before in all my life.

VINCENTIO. What, you notorious villain, didst thou never see thy master’s father, Vincentio?

BIONDELLO. What, my old worshipful old master? Yes, marry, sir; see where he looks out of the window.

VINCENTIO. Is’t so, indeed? [He beats BIONDELLO]

BIONDELLO. Help, help, help! Here’s a madman will murder me.

Exit

PEDANT. Help, son! help, Signior Baptista! Exit from above PETRUCHIO. Prithee, Kate, let’s stand aside and see the end of this controversy. [They stand aside]

 

Re-enter PEDANT below; BAPTISTA, TRANIO, and SERVANTS

 

TRANIO. Sir, what are you that offer to beat my servant?

VINCENTIO. What am I, sir? Nay, what are you, sir? O immortal gods!

O fine villain! A silken doublet, a velvet hose, a scarlet cloak, and a copatain hat! O, I am undone! I am undone! While I play the good husband at home, my son and my servant spend all at the university.

TRANIO. How now! what’s the matter?

BAPTISTA. What, is the man lunatic?

TRANIO. Sir, you seem a sober ancient gentleman by your habit, but your words show you a madman. Why, sir, what ‘cerns it you if I wear pearl and gold? I thank my good father, I am able to maintain it.

VINCENTIO. Thy father! O villain! he is a sailmaker in Bergamo.

BAPTISTA. You mistake, sir; you mistake, sir. Pray, what do you think is his name?

VINCENTIO. His name! As if I knew not his name! I have brought him up ever since he was three years old, and his name is Tranio.

PEDANT. Away, away, mad ass! His name is Lucentio; and he is mine only son, and heir to the lands of me, Signior Vicentio.

VINCENTIO. Lucentio! O, he hath murd’red his master! Lay hold on him, I charge you, in the Duke’s name. O, my son, my son! Tell me, thou villain, where is my son, Lucentio?

TRANIO. Call forth an officer.

 

Enter one with an OFFICER

 

Carry this mad knave to the gaol. Father Baptista, I charge you see that he be forthcoming.

VINCENTIO. Carry me to the gaol!

GREMIO. Stay, Officer; he shall not go to prison.

BAPTISTA. Talk not, Signior Gremio; I say he shall go to prison.

GREMIO. Take heed, Signior Baptista, lest you be cony-catch’d in this business; I dare swear this is the right Vincentio.

PEDANT. Swear if thou dar’st.

GREMIO. Nay, I dare not swear it.

TRANIO. Then thou wert best say that I am not Lucentio.

GREMIO. Yes, I know thee to be Signior Lucentio.

BAPTISTA. Away with the dotard; to the gaol with him!

VINCENTIO. Thus strangers may be hal’d and abus’d. O monstrous villain!

 

Re-enter BIONDELLO, with LUCENTIO and BIANCA BIONDELLO. O, we are spoil’d; and yonder he is! Deny him, forswear him, or else we are all undone.

Exeunt BIONDELLO, TRANIO, and PEDANT, as fast as may be LUCENTIO. [Kneeling] Pardon, sweet father.

VINCENTIO. Lives my sweet son?

BIANCA. Pardon, dear father.

BAPTISTA. How hast thou offended?

Where is Lucentio?

LUCENTIO. Here’s Lucentio,

Right son to the right Vincentio,

That have by marriage made thy daughter mine, While counterfeit supposes blear’d thine eyne.

GREMIO. Here’s packing, with a witness, to deceive us all!

VINCENTIO. Where is that damned villain, Tranio, That fac’d and brav’d me in this matter so?

BAPTISTA. Why, tell me, is not this my Cambio?

BIANCA. Cambio is chang’d into Lucentio.

LUCENTIO. Love wrought these miracles. Bianca’s love Made me exchange my state with Tranio, While he did bear my countenance in the town; And happily I have arrived at the last Unto the wished haven of my bliss.

What Tranio did, myself enforc’d him to; Then pardon him, sweet father, for my sake.

VINCENTIO. I’ll slit the villain’s nose that would have sent me to the gaol.

BAPTISTA. [To LUCENTIO] But do you hear, sir? Have you married my daughter without asking my good will?

VINCENTIO. Fear not, Baptista; we will content you, go to; but I will in to be revenged for this villainy. Exit BAPTISTA. And I to sound the depth of this knavery. Exit LUCENTIO. Look not pale, Bianca; thy father will not frown.

Exeunt LUCENTIO and BIANCA GREMIO. My cake is dough, but I’ll in among the rest; Out of hope of all but my share of the feast. Exit KATHERINA. Husband, let’s follow to see the end of this ado.

PETRUCHIO. First kiss me, Kate, and we will.

KATHERINA. What, in the midst of the street?

PETRUCHIO. What, art thou asham’d of me?

KATHERINA. No, sir; God forbid; but asham’d to kiss.

PETRUCHIO. Why, then, let’s home again. Come, sirrah, let’s away.

KATHERINA. Nay, I will give thee a kiss; now pray thee, love, stay.

PETRUCHIO. Is not this well? Come, my sweet Kate: Better once than never, for never too late. Exeunt

SCENE II.

LUCENTIO’S house

 

Enter BAPTISTA, VINCENTIO, GREMIO, the PEDANT, LUCENTIO, BIANCA, PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, HORTENSIO, and WIDOW. The SERVINGMEN with TRANIO, BIONDELLO, and GRUMIO, bringing in a banquet LUCENTIO. At last, though long, our jarring notes agree; And time it is when raging war is done To smile at scapes and perils overblown.

My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome, While I with selfsame kindness welcome thine.

Brother Petruchio, sister Katherina,

And thou, Hortensio, with thy loving widow, Feast with the best, and welcome to my house.

My banquet is to close our stomachs up After our great good cheer. Pray you, sit down; For now we sit to chat as well as eat. [They sit]

PETRUCHIO. Nothing but sit and sit, and eat and eat!

BAPTISTA. Padua affords this kindness, son Petruchio.

PETRUCHIO. Padua affords nothing but what is kind.

HORTENSIO. For both our sakes I would that word were true.

PETRUCHIO. Now, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow.

WIDOW. Then never trust me if I be afeard.

PETRUCHIO. YOU are very sensible, and yet you miss my sense: I mean Hortensio is afeard of you.

WIDOW. He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.

PETRUCHIO. Roundly replied.

KATHERINA. Mistress, how mean you that?

WIDOW. Thus I conceive by him.

PETRUCHIO. Conceives by me! How likes Hortensio that?

HORTENSIO. My widow says thus she conceives her tale.

PETRUCHIO. Very well mended. Kiss him for that, good widow.

KATHERINA. ‘He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.’

I pray you tell me what you meant by that.

WIDOW. Your husband, being troubled with a shrew, Measures my husband’s sorrow by his woe; And now you know my meaning.

KATHERINA. A very mean meaning.

WIDOW. Right, I mean you.

KATHERINA. And I am mean, indeed, respecting you.

PETRUCHIO. To her, Kate!

HORTENSIO. To her, widow!

PETRUCHIO. A hundred marks, my Kate does put her down.

HORTENSIO. That’s my office.

PETRUCHIO. Spoke like an officer-ha’ to thee, lad.

[Drinks to HORTENSIO]

BAPTISTA. How likes Gremio these quick-witted folks?

GREMIO. Believe me, sir, they butt together well.

BIANCA. Head and butt! An hasty-witted body Would say your head and butt were head and horn.

VINCENTIO. Ay, mistress bride, hath that awakened you?

BIANCA. Ay, but not frighted me; therefore I’ll sleep again.

PETRUCHIO. Nay, that you shall not; since you have begun, Have at you for a bitter jest or two.

BIANCA. Am I your bird? I mean to shift my bush, And then pursue me as you draw your bow.

You are welcome all.

Exeunt BIANCA, KATHERINA, and WIDOW

PETRUCHIO. She hath prevented me. Here, Signior Tranio, This bird you aim’d at, though you hit her not; Therefore a health to all that shot and miss’d.

TRANIO. O, sir, Lucentio slipp’d me like his greyhound, Which runs himself, and catches for his master.

PETRUCHIO. A good swift simile, but something currish.

TRANIO. ‘Tis well, sir, that you hunted for yourself; ‘Tis thought your deer does hold you at a bay.

BAPTISTA. O, O, Petruchio! Tranio hits you now.

LUCENTIO. I thank thee for that gird, good Tranio.

HORTENSIO. Confess, confess; hath he not hit you here?

PETRUCHIO. ‘A has a little gall’d me, I confess; And, as the jest did glance away from me, ‘Tis ten to one it maim’d you two outright.

BAPTISTA. Now, in good sadness, son Petruchio, I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all.

PETRUCHIO. Well, I say no; and therefore, for assurance, Let’s each one send unto his wife,

And he whose wife is most obedient,

To come at first when he doth send for her, Shall win the wager which we will propose.

HORTENSIO. Content. What’s the wager?

LUCENTIO. Twenty crowns.

PETRUCHIO. Twenty crowns?

I’ll venture so much of my hawk or hound, But twenty times so much