The Castrator, Atanas Marinov, Atanas Marinov, Atanas Marinov, Atanas Marinov [free romance novels .TXT] 📗

ALSO THE ABSENCE OF BOUNDARIES, BECAUSE IT WAS THE FORM THAT DEFINED THEM. IN THE SAME LINE OF THOUGHT, EXISTENCE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN DIVIDED INTO PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE, SINCE THEY WERE AGAIN PARTS AND WERE CONTRARY TO THE VERY PRINCIPLE OF EXISTENCE. IF EXISTENCE ITSELF COULD NOT BE FOUND ANYWHERE, THIS WAS RELATED TO THE FACT THAT IT COULD NEVER BE FOUND IN THE SAME PLACE. IN THIS LINE OF THOUGHT, EXISTENCE ITSELF WAS IN MOTION, BUT SINCE THERE IS NOTHING BESIDES IT IN WHICH IT RESIDES, MOTION ITSELF IS NOT POSSIBLE. CONTINUING ALONG THIS PATH OF LOGIC, EXISTENCE SHOULD HAVE NO BEGINNING BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING ELSE BUT IT TO CREATE IT. ON THE OTHER HAND, IT IS ALSO THAT IN WHICH ALL THAT IS CREATED COMES TO PASS, AND THEREFORE IT WOULD NEVER HAVE AN END FOR THE SIMPLE REASON THAT THERE WAS NOTHING BUT IT TO OBLITERATE IT. EXISTENCE ITSELF WAS EVERYWHERE AND NOWHERE, IT WAS MOVING BUT ALSO NOT MOVING, IT POSSESSED NEITHER TIME NOR BOUNDARIES, IT WAS INFINITE, WITHOUT BEGINNING AND WOULD NEVER REACH ITS END. THE INEVITABLE QUESTION AROSE AS TO WHETHER MAN WAS EVER CAPABLE OF DEVELOPING SUCH DIVINE FACULTIES, USING A PROPER PATH OF DEVELOPMENT INSTEAD OF FALLING INTO AN IMAGINARY STATE OF BLISSFUL CONTEMPLATION OF THE KNOWN NATURE OF THE PSYCHIC. AND THIS WAS THE GREAT QUESTION OF MOVEMENT BETWEEN SPACE AND TIME, WHERE OUR SOULS HAD TO REMAIN FOCUSED ON TASKS RELATED TO THE VERY PURPOSE OF OUR EXISTENCE.

AGENT MORALES REALIZED THIS VERY CLEARLY AS HE WATCHED THE STRANGE CEREMONY, WHICH MIGHT HAVE SEEMED LIKE A FARCE TO SOME, BUT NOT TO HIM, WHO DEEP DOWN HAD SENSED THE PECULIAR INTERCONNECTIONS OF EVERYTHING THAT HAD BROUGHT HIM HERE. AND PERHAPS THAT WAS WHAT FELISTER MEANT TO TELL HIM-HE HAD PURSUED HIM INTO HIS HELL, ONLY TO FIND HIMSELF IN HIS OWN-ENCLOSED IN NOTHING!

THE HEADMASTER CAME IN, AND HIS SPEECH WAS, ABOVE AND BELOW, AS FOLLOWS:

- YOU HAVE PROVED THAT YOU CAN DO SOMETHING NONE OF US HAD THOUGHT POSSIBLE - AN INFINITE POSSIBILITY OF CREATION ITSELF!

AGENT MORALES WAS JUST GOING TO SCREAM! HAD EVERYONE GONE OFF THE DEEP END, OR HAD HE JUST GONE BEYOND? PERHAPS CLARIFYING THIS QUESTION WOULD HAVE HELPED HIM AT LEAST A LITTLE IN ALLEVIATING HIS OWN SUFFERING!

- I WOULD LIKE TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR SERVICES FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, AND FOR YOUR TREMENDOUS COOPERATION ...

AGENT MORALES CAST A GLANCE AT WHERE DIEGO WAS, BUT IT WAS EMPTY. PERHAPS HE HAD JUST LEFT EARLY, OR SOMETHING HAD HAPPENED. BUT HE HADN'T LOST SIGHT OF HIM! WAS IT POSSIBLE! HE LOOKED AT HIS OWN. WASN'T IT TOO OBVIOUS THAT ... YES, HIS OWN PLACE WAS EMPTY TOO, BUT HARDLY ANYONE AROUND NOTICED JUST THAT. THEY WERE ALL TOO ENTHUSIASTIC, OBSERVING THE COOL AND PROFESSIONAL ETHICS OF SPECIAL AGENTS CHARGED WITH TOO VALID AND SERIOUS FUNCTIONS.

- I WOULD ACTUALLY LIKE TO THANK AND ...

AGENT MORALES HELD HIS BREATH. THE FACES OF EVERYONE PRESENT LOOKED AS STONY AND IMPENETRABLE AS GRANITE[4]. AS IF THEY WERE IN SOME FROZEN STATE, WAITING FOR SOME SPECIFIC EVENT TO ACTIVATE THE CORRESPONDING MAGICAL EFFECT. THEN HE REALIZED - THIS WAS THE REVENGE OF THE DIEGO THAT WAS PART OF FELISTER'S TRUE HERITAGE. HE WAS ABLE TO SHIFT BETWEEN THE DIFFERENT LAYERS OF SPACE-TIME REALITY IN A WAY THAT WAS ADMIRABLE. AND YET HAD HE PUT HIM IN THAT POSITION? AGENT MORALES HAD SOME DOUBTS ABOUT THAT. AND WHETHER TRAVEL THROUGH SPACE-TIME ITSELF WAS POSSIBLE WITHOUT THE ACCUMULATION OF SPACE-TIME PARADOXES, OR WHETHER THERE WAS SOME INGENIOUS MEANS BY WHICH THE TRAVELLER COULD PURGE HIMSELF OF THEM SO THAT THEY DID NOT INTERFERE WITH AND BURDEN HIS CONSCIOUSNESS, BY WHICH HE HAD TO EXERCISE CONTROL OVER REALITY. AND IF DIEGO HAD MASTERED THAT, THEN HE HAD REACHED A LEVEL THAT FELISTER EMBANKS COULD ONLY DREAM OF. HE COULD NOT ONLY GO ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE, BUT HE COULD PURGE HIMSELF OF ALL THAT WEIGHT. THERE WAS A LOT OF SENSE IN THAT. BUT THE ISSUE HERE WAS PRIMARILY ONE OF PERSONAL AWARENESS OF OUR ROLE IN THE SCHEME OF THE HIGHER UNIVERSAL DESIGN. THE WHOLE MEANING OF EXISTENCE AND OF LIFE IN GENERAL WAS EXTREMELY RARE - WAS THAT WHAT FELISTER MEANT? DID OUR CONSCIOUSNESS SHED LIGHT ON THE MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE AND MAKE IT POSSIBLE, OR THE CONNECTION TO THAT SAME UNIVERSE AND TO THE CREATOR HIMSELF? YES, BE EVIL OR BE GOOD, BUT AT LEAST LIVE IN THIS REALITY AND AT LEAST WHILE YOU HAVE IT BEFORE YOU ARE WIPED OUT THE NEXT TIME IT CHANGES. MAYBE THAT WAS FELISTER'S IDEA OR SHOULD I HAVE...? MAYBE THE CRASH WAS GOING TO HAPPEN SOONER OR LATER? "WHAT IF IT WAS ALL JUST ONE GIANT, UNIVERSAL JOKE?,“ THOUGHT AGENT MORALES, "AND IF WE REALLY DIDN'T HAVE SO MUCH TO WORRY ABOUT!" THIS SUDDEN THOUGHT SEEMED TO EASE HIS MIND, AND HE LISTENED TO THE DIRECTOR'S SPEECH AGAIN:

- IT'S TIME TO CHANGE POSITIONS, BUT EVERYTHING WILL BE BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS. I WANT TO ...

WHY WAS HE INTERRUPTING IN THE SAME PLACE? "THIS MUST BE SOME KIND OF WORD GAME," AGENT MORALES CONTINUED WITH HIS REASONING, "IT REMAINS FOR ME TO FIGURE IT OUT![5]"

BUT HOW COULD MEMORIES BE PRESERVED DURING TIME TRAVEL, OR WAS IT POSSIBLE THAT MEMORIES COULD BE MINED IF WE WANTED TO PLAY A CONCERNED SOUL WHO WOULD WANT TO PRESERVE HER MEMORIES IN SOME FORM AND HAVE ACCESS TO THEM LATER IN HER JOURNEY OR FORMALLY SPEAKING IN HER DEVELOPMENT IN SOME OTHER WORLD - SUCH SOURCES OF MEMORIES COULD BE ALL SORTS OF PERFUMES, IMAGES OR FRAGMENTS OF OUR LIVES, AND ALSO STORIES THAT HAUNTED OUR DREAMS, AND SOMETIMES A SOUL NEEDED ENOUGH MEMORIES TO FILL HER MEMOIR, AND ALSO NEEDED TO BE ASSURED OF THE CORRECTNESS OF THE MEMORIES THEMSELVES AND TO BE SEPARATED FROM THE CORRESPONDING FALSE MEMORIES THAT THE STREAMS OF MEMORIES WERE VERY IMPORTANT - ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY AROSE UPON ASSOCIATION WITH THE CORRESPONDING SOURCE OF MEMORIES. THE MEMORIES OF OUR PAST BAD HABITS WERE LIKE MINES IMPLANTED IN OUR CONSCIOUSNESS.

PERHAPS AGENT MORALES HAD TO WALK THROUGH THE ENTIRE MINEFIELD AND REMAIN COMPLETELY UNSCATHED - AND WOULD HE SUCCEED?  WOULD HE HAVE HAD THE STRENGTH TO WITHSTAND THIS TREMENDOUS ONSLAUGHT OF NEGATIVE ENERGY LAID DOWN BY THE MAD AND RUTHLESS BREEDER, FELISTER EMBANKS?

AGENT MORALES HAD FACED A LOT OF NEGATIVE ENERGY IN HIS JOURNEY TO THE TOP. SO MANY DIFFERENT AND SPECIFIC VIBRATIONS HAD BEEN SET IN MOTION IN HIS ATTEMPTS TO ACHIEVE PERFECTION IN HIS PROFESSION. THE NATURE OF NEGATIVE ENERGY CONSISTED OF A FEW BASIC SYMPTOMS THAT COULD BE EASILY DETECTED, AND USUALLY LED TO OBSESSION. YES, HE HAD BEEN THROUGH HELL IN HIS LIFETIME.

AFTER LEAVING THE HOUSE, THE LATE AZARYA DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT. SOME CLAIMED SHE WAS VERY DRUNK, BUT NO ONE DESCRIBED THE EXACT CAUSE OF DEATH. LATER, A MEDICAL EXAMINER TOLD HER FATHER, UNDER A SURROGATE'S BREATH, THAT THE PROBABLE CAUSE WAS AN ARTIFICIALLY INDUCED EMBOLISM THAT HAD FINISHED HER OFF. IT WAS A REAL TRAGEDY. EVEN THOUGH HE HAD NOT LOVED HER IN LIFE, HE SIMPLY OUT OF COWARDLY SHAME LEFT FLOWERS ON HER GRAVE. SUCH WAS THE ORDER!

HE REMEMBERED HER WORDS, SPOKEN WITH INEXPRESSIBLE REGRET:

- PAPA, THE HOUSE IS ASSOCIATED WITH OUR SELF, BUT I NEVER FELT IT AS MY OWN. TO ME IT SHOULD BE LIKE MY MOTHER'S WOMB, TO WHICH I SHALL NEVER RETURN.

THESE WORDS DID NOT TOUCH HIS HEART, AND AFTER THE LITTLE AND, IN HIS OPINION, QUITE WELL-MANNERED AND SWEET YOUNG LADY WAS GONE, IT SEEMED TO MAKE NO IMPRESSION ON ANYONE. ON THE DAY OF HER FUNERAL A HEAVY RAIN WAS FALLING, AND THE LONELY TOMBSTONE SEEMED TO RECORD ALL THE MEANINGLESSNESS OF HER EXISTENCE. AND WAS HER VERY EXISTENCE REALLY COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS? THE QUESTION WAS, WHAT EXACTLY WAS MEANT BY EXISTENCE?

HER FUNERAL WAS VERY MODEST AND WAS NOT ATTENDED BY ANY RELATIVES OR FRIENDS OF THE DECEASED, ONLY HER SOUL MATE - A COLLEAGUE FROM THE UNIVERSITY WITH WHOM THEY HAD WORKED ON A JOINT PROJECT FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS. ONLY HE LEFT FLOWERS TO HONOUR HER MEMORY.

- "PERHAPS HER JOURNEY IS JUST BEGINNING," REPLIED HER VISIBLY UPSET CLASSMATE[6], WHOSE NAME WAS ROGER DIDASCO[7].

A LOT OF CRIMINALS CONSIDERED HIM A REAL DEVIL AND WISHED FOR HIS DEATH WITH ALL THEIR HEARTS. SO HE FELT UTTERLY CONFUSED WHEN HE FOUND HIMSELF CAUGHT IN THE STRANGE TIME-SPACE PARADOX, SQUEEZED INTO THE TIME PAUSE IN QUESTION. UNTIL NOW, HE HAD BEEN THE CUSTODIAN OF MORALITY, BUT SUDDENLY IT APPEARED THAT HE HAD SEEN ITS FLIP SIDE - ANOTHER WORLD WHERE HE WAS TRAPPED IN HIS OWN NIGHTMARES. BUT SUDDENLY HE SAW ELIZANDER BARNAYNE HIMSELF BESIDE HIM. WAS IT POSSIBLE? WERE HIS EYES NOT DECEIVING THEMSELVES. WAS THIS A NEW TIME SPELL, DESIGNED TO ERASE HIM FROM REALITY?

BARNAYNE STOOD WIDE-EYED, ARMS CROSSED IN FRONT OF HIS POWERFUL CHEST. HE LOOKED CONFIDENT AND IMPLACABLE. AND DEVILISHLY BLOODTHIRSTY.

THE DETECTIVE HAD BEEN PLACED IN THIS FROZEN TEMPORAL STATE WHILE ELIZANDER BARNAYNE, WHOSE MAGICAL POWERS WERE UNQUESTIONABLE, HAD GATHERED THE STRENGTH TO DEAL WITH HIM. NOW HE CLEARLY SENSED HIS BRUTAL DEMONIC CAPABILITIES. THAT THIN SCENT OF INCENSE, THAT SMELL OF DEATH. THERE WAS NO WAY THEY COULDN'T BE SMELLED. THOSE EYES THAT KNEW WHAT DOOM MEANT. TIME MAGIC TRANSPORTED HIM TO THE RUINS OF FELISTER EMBANX'S FARM, WHERE HE CLEARLY SAW THE SILHOUETTE OF HIS HIDDEN ENEMY. A FIERCE BATTLE BEGAN BETWEEN THE TWO, IN WHICH ONLY ONE COULD REMAIN.

BARNAYNE DREW HIS POWERFUL PISTOL AND DRILLED THROUGH AGENT MORALES' SKULL BEFORE HE COULD REACT. THE DETECTIVE COLLAPSED AND BLOOD BEGAN TO POUR FROM HIS HEAD LIKE A RED INFERNAL STREAM, WHICH IN TURN SEEMED TO SEEK ITS OWN PATH BEFORE BEING SUCKED INTO THE EARTH - THE ONE THAT GAVE LIFE.

BARNAYNE SURVEYED THE BURNT REMAINS OF FELISTER'S FARM, WHICH WERE STILL WELL ENOUGH PRESERVED AND NOT YET CLEARED AWAY - NO ONE WAS EVEN IN THE HABIT OF WALKING THESE GROUNDS. HE CAST A GLANCE AT THE ABANDONED BARN AS WELL - WHERE THE INFERNAL MANIPULATION WAS CARRIED OUT DAILY. HE LOOKED AROUND AT THE GREY SKY, AND AT HIMSELF IN THE REFLECTION OF A MUD PUDDLE. YES, IN ITS MIRRORED SURFACE HE SAW HIMSELF FOR THE FIRST TIME- AS HE TRULY WAS.

HE TURNED -BEHIND HIM WERE ARLO AND ZONARA- BOTH IN THEIR SPIRIT FORM. THERE WAS NOT A LIVING SOUL AROUND. IT TURNED OUT THAT HE HAD BEEN COMPLETELY ALONE THE WHOLE TIME. AND HAD TRAVELED ALL THIS DISTANCE IN SEARCH OF THE ANSWER TO HIS OWN EXISTENCE.

- "EVEN ANGELS CAN ONLY SEND YOU SO FAR. AND EVERY MAN MUST HAVE AT LEAST ONE TO ACCOMPANY HIM ON HIS FINAL JOURNEY, EVEN TWO. THESE ARE THE SPIRITUAL LAWS OF OUR WORLD," SAID ARLO HUMBLY. "THIS IS OUR WORK."

BARNAYNE REMEMBERED ALL HE HAD BEEN THROUGH. THE RUINS OF THIS WORLD REMINDED HIM OF ANOTHER TIME, IRRETRIEVABLY PAST, WHICH GAVE A PURPOSEFULNESS TO HIS WHOLE BEING. THE MONOTONOUS WAS KILLING THE PIGS! SERVICE TO HIS MASTER! WAS THIS HIS LIFE?

BEFORE HE CAME TO FELISTER'S FARM, HAVING TRAVELLED THIS VAST DISTANCE, HE HAD STOPPED WITH BIG BROTHER. RETRIBUTION WAS TO BE METED OUT!

IN FACT, LIFE ON THE RESERVE HAD NOT CHANGED VERY MUCH, AND EVERYTHING WAS SO MONOTONOUS-BUT SOMEWHERE IN THERE HE REALIZED THAT BLUEBIRD WAS ONE OF A VANISHING SPECIES OF PEOPLE-ONE WHOSE EXISTENCE WAS NOT TO BE REPEATED. FOR GOOD OR ILL, BIG BROTHER HAD TO BE REMOVED. HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TIME TO GASP AS THE BULLET PIERCED HIS HEART AND SLOWLY DESCENDED, REMAINING SO - AS IF IN HIS SILENT SUFFERING HE WAS UNWILLING TO MAKE OTHERS EMPATHIZE WITH HIS OWN PAIN. AND PERHAPS HE WAS RIGHT! THE UNIVERSE STOOD INDIFFERENT TO THIS DEATH!

BARNAYNE SAT ON THE HALF-DESTROYED THRESHOLD, SEIZED WITH THOUGHTS OF EXISTENCE. ALL THE HALF-BURNT RUINS AROUND