The Hope, By: Shyann Miller [great books for teens TXT] 📗

And so I realize, I'm not who I really am. Something clicked, and everything I lived through, was really just a lie. My body shook hard, my breath is shaky, and my mind's numb. The cold smoke blew out of my mouth. My knees buckled onto the cold thick snow, and I fell. Vibrations of something running towards me, sounded far away. My name repeated over and over again, seemed distant.
    "Please don't die." He said. But he sounded just a whisper to me. "Don't leave me."
     I wanted to tell him, 'It's all right, this is supposed to happen, I'm supposed to die.' But I knew that was a lie, and he would too if he heard it. The cold seemed to nip me, and I shivered. Was this the last thing I'll feel on my skin? Coldness? The thought terrified me. I didn't want to die, at least not like this. Not in the arms of a love one.

 But I deserved this, this is karma getting back to me. I did bad things, and this is how I should be repaid. I hope I die. But not in front of him. That is not much to ask for, to not die in front of him. It was getting hard to breath, my chest felt hollow. I tried hard to keep looking at him, at least I'll see him one last time. 
     More people came towards me, and ripped me from his arms. No! 

I wanted to see him before I die. I wanted to memorize his face one more time. I looked all around, and I saw him, but only a glimpse. His face was streaked with tears, his wide, red, scared, eyes on me. His hands lay limp to his side, and everything turned black.

I was going in and out of conscious. Let me die, I wanted to say. but it was hard to get air in my lungs. Wetness slowly rolled from my eyes, tickling all the way down. I deserve to DIE! I wanted to yell at these people. 

"I don't think she's going to make it." Said a woman with tears in her eyes. "Conner! I don't think she's going to make it!" She cried hysterical.

The man who was carrying me, looked down at me worriedly. I started coughing, my throat started closing up. I couldn't breath. The air would not get inside me no matter how much I tried. It felt like my head was going to explode. Panic swept across my body like fire. Everything started getting blotchy.  
     I was put on the cold snow, excitement passed through my brain. Are they leaving me?

The man named Conner, looked down at me, trying to pump air in my lungs with his hands. Everything started flashing black and white. 

"Move!" I knew that voice. My mind worked hard to stop the flashing. Stefan!

Lips met mine and he started blowing air in my mouth. Only little air came through. "Shit!" He yelled, and started working my chest with his hands. "Done die on me," He murmured, "Don't. Die." He said then went to my mouth again. He blew in his air, hard in my mouth. My heart started slowing. Fear flashed on his face. 

"No." He whispered. My eye lids shut, I was to tired to keep them open. Everything went numb. He hit my chest, right over where my heart was. It pounded once in response. He hit it again, and again. Cold lips met mine once again. He blew in hot air, and kept blowing, until my chest rose.  
      My heart started pounding against my chest. My throat opened. I started coughing up blood and I gasped in for air. My eyes fluttered open. The first thing I saw was him, Stefan. But before he or I could say anything, I passed out.

Soft lights shone on my face, waking me slowly. Where am I?

 I slowly opened my eyes to find myself in a bed, filled with beautiful, colorful afghans. The wooden bed side table had a black and white picture frame, of a little boy; smiling so big, his eyes could barley be seen. An old rocking chair held its place in the corner and a vanity table in the other. 

The tall window had drapes closed over it, but a little stream of light shone through over my face. My dark blond hair was braided to the side. What happened?

 I shifted the covers over and go out of bed. Cold air made me realize that I was wearing a long white pleated nightgown.

I felt so vulnerable.  But why?

 Whispering slithered through the hall ways, catching my attention. I crept towards the cracked open door. 

 "This is not a safe place for her." Said a woman's voice.

 "I know that darling, but she is injured. We'll take her to a safe house when she is healed." A man said.
   "I know, but I'm very worried about her... What if they find her here? What if they're on their way? Maybe we should-"

 "Don't worry, my love. They don't know she's here." The man interrupted. They? Safe house? A door opened and closed, then heavy footsteps followed, quieting the couple.

   "Is she okay?" Said a man's voice.
   "From the last time we checked, yes." The woman said quietly.

 The heavy foot steps thudded down the hallway towards the room I was in. Panic whipped through my body, as I hurriedly crept towards the bed and flung myself in it while throwing the blankets on me, closing my eyes shut.

 The door creaked oped and the footsteps stopped at the end of the bed. "Oh, Lillian." He said softly. Realization poped in my head, I recognized that voice. He shut the door, and pulled the old rocking chair next to where I was laying. "You really got yourself into trouble this time."

 I didn't know what to do then. Slowly I opened my eyes this time, stretched a little, acting like I actually just woke up. Hoping he actually bought it, I finally looked over at him, and gasped. This was not a fake gasp, I recognized him, but I didn't know who he was.

 Happiness shone through his eyes, "Lil, are you alright? Do you feel okay? Do you know what happened? Are you hungry? What-"

I finally stopped him, "Who's Lil?"

His face dropped, "Do you know who I am?" I silently shook my head. "Do you know who you are?" And again I shook my head no. "Do you even remember anything?"

 I thought about that question, What do I remember? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. "No." I said after awhile.

 "How old are you?" He spoke.

 "I"m not sure. I don't know anything." And after a pause, "Who are you?"

 Pain went across his face so quick, I'm not even sure if I saw it, "I'm Stefan."

 "Stefan." I automatically repeated.

 "Does it sound familiar?" He asked, hopefully.

 "It rings a bell." I said, and then without thinking, "You look so familiar."

 He studied me for a moment, not daring looking away. He let out a long, happy sigh. "That's really good, love."

 "Where am I?"

 "You're at my parents house." He said putting his head in between his hands, not looking up.

 I thought a little back, "Is Lil my name?"

 "Sorta, Lillian is your full name, we just call you Lil for short," He finally looked back up at me, "like a nick name."

 I thought about it for awhile, letting it process it for a while, "Kinda like Stef for you?"

 His lips tilted up at the corners, "Yeah, but it doesn't fit me, people just call me by my full name."

 We just sat their after that, studying each other. His dark eyes never miss anything, always aware of everything. "What are you thinking?" I asked.

 "Nothing," He said calling it off, "We should tell everyone that you're awake."

 "Everyone?" I asked, surprised. "Who's everyone?"

 "Ah..The family, as you liked to call it."

 I paused, "The family? I have a family?"

 He smiled warmly at me, "Yes, and a very caring one for that matter."

 He reached out for my hand and took it. I let him pull me up, as he wrapped his arm around my waist. He touched my lower rib, and I buckled over. Sharp pain seared my body. I gasped for air when he picked me up and laid me back on the bed.

 People came into the room like a flash, "What happened?" Said a dark woman with bright red hair, eyes pointing right at him.

 "I didn't do any-"

 "Let me through." Said a calm old lady, and everybody moved away from me. I was panting from the pain when she said to me, "Darling, its fine." She placed her hand over my wound. "Now tell me, what do you know?"

 What do I know? Who was she? Who are all these people? who am I? "I'm not sure," I said barley in a whisper, "But I can tell you what I don't know. I don't know where I am, I don't know any of these people, I don't even know my favorite color-"

 "Because you don't have one." Stefan said to me.

 I looked at him, "And I don't know who I am." I said sadly.

 Everybody was quiet in the room, but not the red hair girl. "you don't remember me?" She said sadly.

 I stared at her, hoping for anything to come, "No." I whispered.

 She looked down at the floor, she slowly came close to me, knelt besides the bed and said, "I am your best friend. We've been friends for 20 years. We have the same day of birth, and the same year. were just like twins, but different. We grew up together, lived together, we'll grow old together, and die together. Last month you said to me, that you wanted us to be cremated together, cause' friends like us, couldent be apart." She wiped a tear from her eye. "And you have no idea who I am." She looked over at Stefan, "That guy, right over there, is the man of your dreams, your crazy about him. You two were going to get married, under a big green willow tree, where you guys had your first kiss. He loved you for 6 years, and he loves you now... just pleases try to remember." 

 I thought so hard, hoping for and memory of anyone, anything. Pain was still throbbing at my chest, I touched at it, and the blood that was seeking through my gown A little gasp escaped through my lips, "What happened to me?" I looked up at Stefan. 

 The older woman pointed at the door, "Everyone leave the room, I need to dress her wound again." 

 "I'm not leaving." Stefan said.

 "If he's not, then I'm not either." Said the red hair girl. 

 "Enough, both of you." The woman cried, "Stefan, Lisa, you both can come back when I'm done."

 The group left after that. I watched Stefan's back as he made his exit, our eyes met as he looked back before shutting the door. 

 "Everything is going to be fine." The old woman said gently. "You'll get your memory back sooner or later. It shall just take time."

 "What is your name?" I asked quietly.

 "Alma Cooper." she said, "Now I need you to pull up