The diary of an African Woman, Delight Mukozho [red queen ebook txt] 📗

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all my fellow women out there.

                              Hannah's story

 

My life was a mess

Alone and with no one to help or take care of me

I struggled to make it in life

The journey was not easy

The journey had its own trials and tribulations

But I soldiered on

Alone and dejected, I soldiered on

It was not easy

But somehow I managed to survive each passing day

I managed to overcome

I managed to survive

After all suffering, I finally made it

Now I can smile

 

 

 

 

My name is Hannah and I am a medical doctor. It was not easy for me to get to where I am today but I would like to that the Lord for his grace. Let me tell you my story.

 

My parents died when I was very young and I was an only child. When they died life became hell for me. I was moved from one relative to another because no one wanted to take care of me. They said I was a burden. Somewhere along the way, I dropped out of school because no one wanted to pay for my school fees. There was nothing I could do. Nonetheless, I did not lose hope. Deep down I knew that one day I would have the opportunity to complete my education and become a doctor. That hope kept me going.

 

When I was fifteen, I ended up staying with a distant aunt who didn’t care about me.. She had taken me in out of pity. But after some time when she realized that I was nothing but an extra mouth to feed she began treating me like a dog. It was then that I decided to pack my bags and go and try to find some kind of job. Early one morning I just packed the few possessions that I had and left without a word. My aunt would never have cared anyway.

 

I moved from one household to another in search of whatever form of employment I could find. But upon seeing my shabby appearance, I was turned down. For days I tried my luck but was rejected. I walked during the day and slept out in the open at night. After 5 days, I was hungry and tired and had no strength to walk and I didn’t think that I could face yet another rejection. But somehow I forced myself to trudge on the few houses that I could see a small distance away. After several rejections and feeling totally dejected, I went to a house that stood quite apart from the rest. It was made of white marble and was set on a green landscape adorned with flowers of all kinds of shapes, sizes and colour. The sight was breathtakingly beautiful. I had never seen such a house in my life. It was like looking at a picture in a book. I was awe-struck.

 

Slowly, I approached the massive gates and stood there stupefied. I did not know what o do. Unexpectedly the gates opened and a car stopped by my side and an elderly woman rolled down the car window and asked me what I wanted. Trembling, I told her that I was looking for a job. She looked me over, frowned and then told me to follow her inside. She took me into her home and then gave me a job on the spot.

 

The woman was kind and I worked for her in comfort. She lived with her husband and had two children, a boy and a girl. The girl was my age but the boy was slightly older. They were all very nice to me. They all treated me like I was member of the family. My employer provided for all my needs and she gave me more money than I would know what to do with it. Since I had everything that I needed, I saved the money for my education. After about six months I told her of my dream of going to school and she quickly organized for me to go to school.

 

With zeal I applied myself to my studies and did not do too bad. I passed all the classes I had failed to attend. I obtained my Ordinary level and Advanced level certificates with ease. I had applied for admission into university and my future looked bright. Little did I know that something was to happen that was to change the course of my life.

 

One day, I was alone and whilst I was reclining on a sofa reading a novel in the sitting room. My employer’s son came in. I greeted him as usual and went on reading but he remained standing looking at me in a funny way. It was then that I gave him a good look. He seemed drunk. Without a word, he came and sat next to me. He then started touching me everywhere. I tried to fight him off but he overpowered me. I tried to scream but he stuffed his handkerchief into my mouth. I tried to save myself but I couldn’t. I prayed and prayed to God to save me. I was filled with so much terror that I didn’t know what to do. Tears streamed down my face.

 

He forced himself on and tore my dress. I struggled to be free of his over-powering grip but it was of no use. As fate would have it I lost my innocence that fateful day. I lost everything. When he was done he left me bruised and lying in a pool of blood. I did not know what to do. I was lost. Just then, my employer came and was shocked when she saw the state I was in. Amidst sobs, I told her what had happened. She was angry at first but she told me never to tell anyone about what had happened as it would ruin their reputation and a whole lot of other staff. I protested but I was threatened in return.

 

The events of that day not only changed me but they changed everything. The atmosphere in the house changed. The smiles were gone and were replaced by stares filled with hate and scorn. With each passing day, I lived in constant fear that the events of that fateful day would repeat themselves. Each day I feared that I might be pregnant. Each day I feared that maybe I had been infected by HIV or some sexually transmitted disease. But who was I to confide in. I had nightmares every night and I couldn’t eat. Somehow I had to leave this house that had turned into a prison of some sort. I couldn’t stay there anymore but where could I go? Whichever way, I had to leave.

 

A few weeks after my ordeal, I got up early one morning, wrote a note to employer, packed up my bags and left before anyone was awake. When I reached the gate, I said goodbye to the only other place that I had ever called home. I had felt safe and loved in this place but life had a way of turning things upside down. For the second time I had to yet again venture into world alone and unaware of what the future had in store for me. At least this time I was older, a little wiser and had a little cash to help me survive for a few months. The only, problem however, was where to go.

 

Dejectedly, I walked on to embrace yet another phase of my life. I had to find a place to stay and some kind of employment. I walked door to door in search of a place to rent. After several days, I got a place to stay. It was a small room at the back of some old woman’s house. It was not much but it was big enough for me and the rental was reasonable enough. That done, I freshened up and went out to buy that day’s newspaper. I rushed through the paper looking for employment adverts. Sadly, there was nothing that I could find. I bought a few groceries and went home. The next day, I went to the nearest shopping centre and moved around in search of employment. By the end of the day my search was not a successful one. Slowly, I went home to eat and rest. I tried my luck the next day and failed to get anything yet again. One week passed and still failed to secure employment. Then out of the blue my landlady told me of a shop where there was a shop assistant vacancy. Quickly, I went there and secured the job because of my good grades. I was so happy, at least that was a start.

 

The hours were long and the pay was too little but because of my situation I stayed hoping that time would open up better avenues. Time passed slowly and every day and night I toiled. Then one day I realized that I hadn’t checked on my application for admission into medical school. I had to go and enquire, so I asked for a day off and went to check whether my application was successful. I went to the admissions office and was happy to find out that my application was successful. I was so overwhelmed with joy that tears streamed down my face. My dream was finally coming true. Then it dawned on me, how was I going to pay for my tuition? The little money that I had saved was not enough to cover all expenses. There had to be a way somehow. I checked the registration dates and went home.

 

The question of how I was going to raise the money still troubled me for the days that followed. My dream was almost coming true but the issue of money was standing in the way. I wondered if ever I would realize my dream. Maybe I should go to the Dean of Students, the Registrar or the Vice Chancellor or whoever was responsible to present my case, maybe we might work something out. Early the next morning, I was directed to the office of the Dean of Students. He was a fairly old man, with kind eyes and a welcoming smile. I sat in what was supposed to be a comfortable chair but I was too nervous to notice. He tried to make me feel at ease but it was useless. He asked me to present my case and with tears in my eyes, I told him my story. He gave me some tissue and asked me not to cry. He told me that a solution can be found to my problem.

 

I felt better but after all the misfortunes that life had thrown in my face, I was not convinced. The Dean told me to return the following week, hopefully by then he might a solution to my problem. I returned the following week and was told that I would be admitted to the university and I would have to work in the Admissions