Out of the Darkness, rose1699 [notion reading list .txt] 📗

We got to his house and I was so cold I couldn’t move and Mamoru had to help me out of my wet cold clothes and I just couldn’t move and I was naked but I didn’t care I was just so cold and I fell over and Mamoru caught and he had a worried face and he helped me to the bathroom and he turned the shower on and he took his clothes off and got in the shower with me and he wrapped his arms around my waist and started to pour the water over my cold body and it felt good and he felt me up to my stomach down to my legs and it felt wonderful and when I was with him it felt like nothing I ever loved.

He shut the water off and I was warm again and when I looked up at him he was beautiful and had a six pack he looked so much like a model and he just smiled at me and I turned around and when I did he was behind me and wrapped his arms around me and I felt safe for the first time in years. He was Emo like me and he was just wonderful.

I have a feeling I might get a chance to have a boyfriend again because after me and my ex Josh broke up I fell apart and I never loved since I was thirteen and now I’m sixteen and I never felt like this way for three years now. He made me feel complete; almost complete I was always afraid to love again because I didn’t want to get hurt again. I couldn’t resist getting hurt again. He pulled me closer because I was crying again and I fell to my knees and cried because I was hurt too much in my past and I can’t hold it in anymore I had to cry. I turned around and buried my face in his chest crying as he held me tighter and closer, I never cried this much since last year.

Mamoru said holding me tightly, “We need to put clothes on. And I never found out your name what is it?’ He looked down on me and he wraps my tears away and I was frozen he was so close to me and I stuttered, ‘I…..I’m……..Aura…….Dawn……W….W…W….Walker.’ We were so close to each other I could hear him breathe and I could feel his breath and I was so close to his lips and we stayed like this for a while now and then he said, ‘We should get into some clothes and go to bed because you have to go home tomorrow.”

He got up but I grabbed his arm and I don’t know why I did and I pulled him towards me and before we knew it we were kissing and I just couldn’t stop and I could tell he couldn’t either and he put me on the floor and we started to make out and when he put me in his embrace the kisses got intense and we were naked already and I could tell he was trying to control himself as I was. But he started to feel me up and I couldn’t help but moan and I heard him moan as well and then I touch it by accident and he moans louder and so do I. He picked me up and put me on the bed making out with me and it felt so good then I could feel him rubbing it on me and I kissed deeper and then we stopped.

I said out of breath,” I’m so…..so…..sorry Mamoru…..’I looked down but he grabbed my chin and kissed me softer and I kissed back and it felt great and he said, ’Why you saying sorry for Aura it’s not your fault it’s just… I haven’t done that since I was fourteen after my ex girlfriend killed herself because of me. I don’t know why she did it I tried to stop her because I was right there her last words were, “Goodbye Mamoru “I tried my hardest to save her but she was gone because she lost so much blood, I tried and tried to save her I really did because she was my best friend I had nobody else and I felt so bad that I almost killed myself, but God stopped me for some reason.’

I looked at him and I saw tears in his eyes and I wrapped them away because I knew how he felt I said,’I know what your going through , because I lost my twin sister/best friend because she killed herself. I found her in her bathroom with blood all over her wrist was cut but she was still alive but barely, so I grabbed her and held her tight, her name was Aurora she was my best friend and sister she killed herself because when we were twelve our mother and father died in a car accident and we were sent to foster homes many times and she was tired of it so we were with our foster family and when I got home from school that day Aurora was in the bathroom all bloody and I went to her and held her tightly, I tried to save her more then anything.

She looked at me and smiled and she held my hand and she was crying and I couldn’t help her I didn’t know what to do. When she smiled at me it made me tear up and I laid my head on her chest and she said weakly, ‘Aura sister I’m so sorry I did this to you I just couldn’t handle it anymore I was tired of…….’ She coughs,’ all the moving from family to family because they couldn’t handle us this is the only way I’ll be with him and you know who I am talking about. I loved him since I was in middle school and he died saving me from getting shot by that man I want to go and be with him for the rest of my life and I’ll even be in good hands I’ll have God up there with me……Aura…..please……be…strong….for me….

’she coughed again,’ Aura I can see God and Matthew waiting for me in the light they are waiting for me……this is my last wish to you Aura……never give up….on….love….because if you do….then you won’t find happiness at all….remember this Aura…I’ll always…be with…you…in your….heart and soul….even when I pass……on….you’ll feel me leave and your heart will drop…..a little…but remember this I’ll always love you no matter what……I
Love…..you….A….Aura……’ then she was gone just like that. I didn’t want to lose my twin sister but I guess it was her time to go and I know now that she is in good hands now and watching over me. I’ll always love my sister always.”

I was crying now because talking about my sister’s death hurts me so badly and now he knows some of my life why I’m like I am now, I could never tell anyone about this kind of stuff but talking to him about it I felt like I belonged with him I really like this guy I really do and Matthew was my sister’s boyfriend they were going out for two year back then and now I know they have each other and God and I know by now that Josh is suffering because of me he said he wanted me back but I said no I’m done with your fucking bullshit you can die for all I care. But just being here with Mamoru and in his embrace I felt safer then I ever been. We got up and we put our clothes on and he likes everything I like and that makes this better I really do like him. So we got dress and I went into his bed and he went to the couch and I could tell that wouldn’t be good for his back.

I said lying down, “Mamoru you can sleep up here with me so you don’t have to sleep on the couch there still space for one more person.” I smiled and he smiled back and came toward me and lay right beside me and I laid my head on his chest.

He said putting his arms around me, “Thank you for this wonderful night Aura and I promise I will not hurt you so will you go out with me?’ I looked at him and I nodded my head yes and I smiled. ‘Goodnight my Aura and sleep tight my angel.”

I laid my head on his chest again and he held me close to him and he was so warm and soft that I fell asleep on him and I smiled and went to sleep and so did he. That was the night I love most about us. I knew in my heart and mind I love him, it was love at first sight.
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When I woke up I was laying on his chest still and he still had his arms around me. When he is sleeping he sounded so peaceful and relaxed and I looked at his bare chest and I saw scars over his chest like he was cut all over. I felt really bad for him. Who would hurt him like this? How could anyone hurt this boy? These are questions I asked myself. I laid in his embrace and just thinking about if his parents abused him like my foster mother and father does even my sister and brother but they are not my real brother and sister.

The only sister I have, well used to have been my twin sister Aurora Lee Walker and she will be my only sister until I die nobody else. Nobody can replace the love I have for her, nobody can take her place nobody will ever be my sister because I only have one sister and she died because of this fucking family.

I don’t want to go home because I was safer here then my house. I miss her so much; I miss my real mother and father; I miss my real family but none of them would take me in I was sent from foster home to foster home but they never wanted me and all I could do was kill myself to be with my mom and dad and my loving sisters arms, but I couldn’t leave this world because I would hurt my best friend Amanda she’s been my best friend for three years now, I’ve never stayed in one place for a year but