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. . “ Erin replied, shrugging.

“Aw, how cute.” I smiled

“So, what’s up with your people?” he asked after the conversation had taken to awkward silence.

“The usual for Saturday, parents are out, Trev’s out probably doing something he shouldn’t, and I’m free to do whatever I want.” I answered.

“Well, that sounds . . . fun.”

“Sure.” I said holding out the “u”.

“Well, if you don’t mind, I’d like to take a shower, I Kind of like looking okay-ish when I have company over.” he said as he was walking towards the steps.

“Totally fine with me” I replied.

“You can wait in my room if you want, not very clean though.”

“Okay.” I replied as I followed him up the staires and down the hall.

“Before I could see his room he stepped infront of the doorway, blocking my view.

“Hold on a sec.” he said


After what seemed like two or three minutes, he opened the door.

“You can just sit wherever.” he instructed.

I took a seat at his desk chair and looked at his room. It had posters up and his bulletin board was covered with drawings, sticky-notes, reminders and a bit of everything else. His desk looked almost like a teachers, pens, papers (specifically drawings and old homework assignments) and pencils strewn across it. Every in of the roomed screamed Erin. Except one thing. I spotted the handle of a knife sticking out of the top drawer of his nightstand.

“I’ve been sneaking back into the packs old house thing and getting my stuff back.” Erin said, explaining my his roomed looked so lived in already.

“You’ve been what? Jeez Erin, what’ll happen if you get caught, what’d Cole gonna think if you go there and don’t go back? What’ll he do without his older brother? What will I do. Seriously Erin, you’re like, the best person ever. Be careful and don’t do anything stupid.” I scolded him.

“Alright, I’ll be careful, and what was that last bit?” he asked a bit to suspicious for my taste.

I went over what I said and realized my blunder. I’d said it so fast I didn’t realize exactly what I was saying.

“Umm, nothing.” I rep[lied sheepishly.

He shook his head causing his hair to look even messier. “I gotta get in the shower, be out in a few.” he said turning away.

I continued to look around his room. The walls were and odd color kind of like a pastel forest green with storm cloud, moon-colored gray accents. It looked liked him. He used to live in the forest and now his room was almost the color of one.

I went over to his nightstand where I saw the knife. On it was the burned imprint of a full moon and something written in a language I couldn’t read. This was surprising seeing as I was fluent in Spanish, French, and a few other languages every super nerd should know. The print was pretty and flow-y, like a river. I was so enthralled with the knife that I didn’t hear the water shut off. When I heard Erin coming down the hall, I shoved the knife back where it was and sat back at his desk as fast as I could. He came in the second after I sat down and eyed me suspiciously
“Sorry that took so long.” he apologized.

“You were in there for five minutes.” I stated.

“Well, I’m a guy, that’s a bit long for a shower.” he pointed out.

I realized that there were so many things I didn’t know about Erin. So many things I’d probably never know. Thinking that made me feel a little depressed, like I would always be a little short of normal. I started thinking of song lyrics. Think twice, before you fall/ one chance and that’s all/so start, start, start now. In my mood of dark creativity, I came up with a band name, “Frigid Fire”. It wasn’t necessarily the best, but it sounded cool.

“What’re you doing?” Erin asked after who knows how long.

“Sorry, I was just thinking.” I answered, going over new chords to go along with my lyrics.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked trying to make conversation.

“Lyrics, a band name, chords, pretty much it.” I replied.

“I know you’re gonna say no, but can I hear them.” he asked tentatively.

“The song is gonna be called “Think Twice”. Think twice, before you fall/ one chance, and that’s all/ so start, start, start it now. The ridiculous band name I came up with was “Frigid Fire”.” I spill.


“Hey, it’s not that ridiculous.” Erin replies.

I give him a smile, not sure that I believe him. Life has gotten so wildly out of hand, that I can’t even tell the difference between reality and fiction. Everything I’ve seen lately is suddenly so hard to believe. Like I’m gonna wake up and find out all of it was some wacked out dream. I drop my head into my hands and start to rub my temples, a sudden headache coming on. I start listing all the things about me. Number one, I’m fifteen. Two, I am a nerdy girl that loves a good teen paranormal romance book. Three, I live in Maine. Four, my best friend is Sam. Five, I love music and my guitar. My list goes on until I can think again and the headache passes. I feel a hand rubbing my back and relax into it until I realize its Erin’s.

“Nik, you okay?” he asks, concern saturating his voice as he continues to rub.

I think about saying yes, that I am fine, but deep down I know I’m not. I know that no matter how hard I try, I won’t be okay for a while. It’s so hard to understand what’s going on. One minute, I was a regular teen girl. The next, I’m in some fantasy, chilling in a werewolf’s room. Life just isn’t fair.

He wraps his arms around my shoulder and squeezes. He just holds me, letting me think and freak out. Thought after thought runs through my head. What’s gonna happen next? How is all this real? Am I gonna wake up and realize it was an insane dream? After that last thought, I realize that I don’t want it to be a dream. That if it is, I don’t want to wake up. I finally found a guy that got to know me for me, that actually asked me out on a date. A guy that wants to be my friend. Am I really willing to give all this up because I’m scared?

The answer to that question is no, I’m not willing to give it up. I lift up my head and snuggle into Erin’s chest. He’s my friend, he really knows me, he actually cares.

I am fine, I don’t care what my head says, I am fine and I can deal with this, I will, I have to.


Chapter Twelve
Be Strong


I give Erin a squeeze. “Yah, I’m fine.”

He presses his lips to the top of my head and smiles at me. His smile is the best ever, kind of crooked with one side higher that the other, crinkling the skin around his eyes. It sparks a tingling sensation in my stomach. For once, it’s not nerves, it’s something else, I just don’t know what. I cuddle into him as close as possible, and he just holds me tighter, pulling me onto his lap.

“This okay?” he mumbles into my hair.

“Sure is.” I reply with a smile.

All to soon we have to get up. He shrugs his shoulders and kisses my hair again, sliding me off his lap. We stand up and walk down stairs.

“Erin! Dinner-“

“Right here mom.” Erin smiles.

“Do you want to ask your friend if she’ll stay for dinner?” She asks him.

He looks at me. “Actually, I can’t. I have to go make dinner over at my place, sorry.” I apologize.

“No problem.” replies his mom.

“See ya later Erin.” I say as I walk towards the door. He walks with me. He pulls me into a hug and squeezes me tight, then he opens the door.

“Need a ride?” he asks.

“I think I can walk.” I reply playfully.

“Too bad. Mom I’m gonna give Onika a ride home.” he shouts to his mother.

“Go ahead dear” she yells back.

He walks me out to the car and opens my door, then goes around and gets in.

“Thanks, really.” I say, glad I get to spend a few more minutes with him.

He just reaches over and holds my hand. I’m a little skeptical that a guy like Erin could possibly even attempt to want to try to hold my hand. I’m not pretty or anything. At least I don’t think so. Sam tells me every day she wishes she looked more like me. I don’t believe her though. I just look over and smile at Erin. I like him and I want him to like me. Big dream.

We pull up to my house and before I can even think, he’s opening my door for me. As I get out, he leans in and kisses my forehead, then wraps his arms around my waist. I rest my hands on his shoulders and snuggle into his chest. One more hug can’t hurt, now can it? As I come out of my blissful thinking, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. A second later, he pulled back, blushing harder than I thought guy were capable of blushing. I gave him one more squeeze, then he was on his way home.
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