If: A Play in Four Acts, Lord Dunsany [any book recommendations TXT] 📗

What's the matter with him?

JOHN BEAL

Well, he's rather of the brigand type, and one doesn't know what he'll do.

MIRALDA

Well, we must see him first and hear what he has to say before we take any steps.

JOHN BEAL

But what do you propose to do?

MIRALDA

Why, if he pays me everything he owes, or gives up the security...

JOHN BEAL

The security is the pass.

MIRALDA

Yes. If he gives up that or pays...

JOHN BEAL

You know he's practically king of the whole country. It seems rather cheek almost my sending for him like this.

MIRALDA

He must come.

JOHN BEAL

But what are you going to do?

MIRALDA

If he gives up the pass...

JOHN BEAL

Why, if he gives up the pass you'd be you'd be a kind of queen of it all.

MIRALDA

Well, if he does that, all right...

JOHN BEAL

But what if he doesn't?

MIRALDA

Why, if he doesn't pay...

HUSSEIN [off]

I am here.

JOHN BEAL

Be seen.

[Enter HUSSEIN.]

HUSSEIN

Greeting once more.

JOHN BEAL

Again greeting.... The great lady, Miss Clement, is here.

[HUSSEIN and MIRALDA look at each other.]

You will pay to Miss Clement and not to your god of bronze. On the word of an Englishman, your god of bronze shall not have one gold piece that belongs to the great lady!

HUSSEIN [looking contemptuous]

On the word of the Lord of the Pass, I only pay to Hinnard.

[He stands smiling while MIRALDA regards him. Exit.]

ARCHIE BEAL

Well?

JOHN BEAL

He won't pay.

ARCHIE BEAL

What are we to do now?

JOHN BEAL [to MIRALDA]

I'm afraid he's rather an ugly customer to introduce you to like that. I'm sorry he came now.

MIRALDA

O, I like him, I think he looks splendid.

ARCHIE BEAL

Well, what are we to do?

JOHN BEAL

Yes.

ARCHIE BEAL

What do you say, Miss Clement?

JOHN BEAL

Yes, what do you feel we ought to do?

MIRALDA

Well, perhaps I ought to leave all that to you.

ARCHIE BEAL

O, no.

JOHN BEAL

No, it's your money. What do you think we really ought to do?

MIRALDA

Well, of course, I think you ought to kill Hussein.

[JOHN BEAL and ARCHIE BEAL look at each other a little startled.]

JOHN BEAL

But wouldn't that—wouldn't that be—murder?

MIRALDA

O, yes, according to the English law.

JOHN BEAL

I see; you mean—you mean we're not—but we are English.

MIRALDA

I mean it wouldn't be murder—by your law, unless you made it so.

JOHN BEAL

By my law?

MIRALDA

Yes, if you can interfere with their religion like this, and none of them say a word, why—you can make any laws you like.

JOHN BEAL

But Hussein is king here; he is Lord of the Pass, and that's everything here. I'm nobody.

MIRALDA

O, if you like to be nobody, of course that's different.

ARCHIE BEAL

I think she means that if Hussein weren't there there'd be only you. Of course, I don't know. I've only just come.

JOHN BEAL

But we can't kill Hussein!

[MIRALDA begins to cry.]

O Lord! Good heavens! Please, Miss Clement! I'm awfully sorry if I've said anything you didn't like. I wouldn't do that for worlds. I'm awfully sorry. It's a beastly country, I know. I'm really sorry you came. I feel it's all my fault. I'm really awfully sorry...

MIRALDA

Never mind. Never mind. I was so helpless, and I asked you to help me. I never ought to have done it. I oughtn't to have spoken to you at all in that train without being introduced; but I was so helpless. And now, and now, I haven't a penny in the world, and, O, I don't know what to do.