My Personal Hell, D. Richardson [ebook reader browser txt] 📗

my shirt as I tightened my arm around her shoulders.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ailith

 

 

 

 

I rolled over and a heavy arm was weighting me down. At first the only thing I knew was that it was warm, and I curled it around me tighter. Then I realized that it was attached to a breathing body. That’s when I decided to open my eyes.

The walls weren’t mine, neither was the pillow that my head was laying on. The warm person that was laying behind me took a deep breath. Then I remembered. I had cried myself to sleep at Sadler’s loft. He had come in half way through. How embarrassing. I made the promise to myself that no one else would see me cry. Of course, that’s not counting when I was caged. But I had come to terms with that one.

This time it was over saying goodbye to Cory. A completely different circumstance. Though in a way more painful. Cory had been a large part of shaping my life. It was hard to believe that it was over. That he wasn’t even a possibility anymore. I decided to get up before I started crying again.

It took some maneuvering, but I managed to crawl out from under his arm without waking him. A lot of maneuvering, he kept tightening his arm around me every time I moved. He was a very heavy sleeper. Once I was finally free I went to the bathroom. One glance in the mirror and I grimaced.

My eyes were puffy with dark circles, my skin was pale, and my head was pounding. After emptying my bladder I stepped out of the bathroom and went in search of a clock. It was after midnight, and I groaned. Drake and Becca hadn’t grounded me yet, but I had to be pushing their limits.

I went back into the bedroom and paused for a moment. Sadler was still asleep, but he had pulled a pillow over to fill up the space that I had previously inhabited. He looked so peaceful I didn’t want to bother him. But I needed a ride home so I stood next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

His reaction was not what I expected. I wasn’t exactly sure what it is that I did expect. For him to jump up maybe, or try to attack me, sure. Those would be expected of a sleeping male who wasn’t used to someone sharing his space. But instead he reached up, grabbed my wrist and pulled me over him.

I landed a little awkwardly with my legs draped over his and my stomach level with his head. I gasped from the surprise, but he only laid his head on my stomach, snuggling into me like I was a pillow.

“Uh…Sadler,” I kept my voice low, hoping I could wake him up gently. But when he lifted his head, his eyes were silver. It wasn’t him, it was his wolf. This was new to me.

“Go back to sleep,” he mumbled, his voice gruff.

“I have to go home.” He shook his head, snuggling back into me.

“No, stay, sleep.”

“I can’t, Drake will be angry.” He growled softly, pulling me closer.

“Fine, wake him up if you can.” I sighed, frustrated. Sadler wasn’t usually this stubborn. So I started to gently shake his shoulder, hoping to snap him out of it. But he only growled again, holding on tighter.

“Sadler, come on, I have to go home.” He finally mumbled something.

I couldn’t tell what it was, but his hand loosened around my torso, settling on my side. I thought twice about waking him up like this. He might feel a little awkward about our current position, so instead I fought my way free. He still didn’t wake up.

This time I approached him from a different angle. And by different angle I mean I kept the bed between us. This time when I shook his shoulder he grumbled but moved. I decided to take a chance and speak.

“Hey, wake up. I need to go home.” He opened his eyes, this time it was him. He squinted but sat up a little. After looking around for a minute he finally swung his legs off the bed. “Sorry, it’s just that…” He waved me off.

“It’s fine, I shouldn’t have fallen asleep anyway. Give me a minute and I’ll take you home.” I nodded and went into the living room to sit until he was ready to go. It didn’t take him long. He went to the bathroom and pulled his boots on when he came back out.

When he grabbed his keys I stood, moving to the door. He nodded at me when I grabbed the handle and I walked out. The drive home was quiet. I didn’t want to say anything since I had invaded his space and then woke him up to take me home in the middle of the night. But when he parked outside the house I just sat there, not entirely sure what to do.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, my embarrassment coming back ten fold. He looked at me across the darkened car.

“No need, I’m sorry for intruding on you.” I shook my head.

“I’m glad you did. I don’t know what got into me,” I answered, his hand found mine and I finally looked at him.

“You had every right to take some time for yourself. With everything you’ve been through, I don’t know if I could have held off for as long as you did.” Again I shook my head.

“Still, it wasn’t your problem to deal with.”

“It doesn’t matter. I was glad someone could be there. You don’t have to do everything by yourself.” It sounded like there was a hidden meaning in his words. But as I looked at him, I couldn’t figure out what it was. As we sat there staring at each other the front door opened, lighting up the front yard. I could see Drake’s silhouette filling up the doorway.

“I have to go.” He nodded, releasing my hand.

“I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, bye.” I climbed out before I could make a fool of myself, again.

When I walked in the front door, Drake stood at the foot of the stairs. I expected him to be angry. Not only did I shirk my responsibilities to the pack…again, but I came home late…again. He just gave me a level look.

“I was told this afternoon that your human friends left the territory.” I nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Was that your doing?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you okay?” he asked with so much sincerity that I looked up at him. He was looking at me with so much concern I didn’t know what to do, so I fell back on my usual answer.

“Yeah.” The next thing I know his arms were around me. He pulled me in for a tight hug, after a moments hesitation, I hugged him back.

“I’m sorry about your friend. They assured me it was a mistake.”

“I know, thank you.” After he released me I gave him a small smile before going up to my room to get more much needed sleep.

A few days later I was cornered by Chris and Kiera of all people. I had just been leaving the compound and had climbed into my car. After I left the parking lot they popped up from the backseat, scaring the hell out of me. After I got the car back under control and waited for them to stop laughing, I finally got to say something.

“What the hell!? You could have killed us!” I snapped. Kiera climbed over the seat to sit in the passenger seat.

“Oh come on, wolves don’t die in car accidents,” she answered, after taking a deep breath I chuckled.

“What are you guys doing here?” Both Kiera and Chris turned serious.

“I heard through the grapevine that you killed a male that was trying to mark you.” I glanced over at her for a second and then pulled into a random parking lot so I could see them both.

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Your rank in the enforcers is a closely guarded secret,” Chris answered.

She was right, it was, Drake didn’t want the neighboring packs to know that I had joined the enforcers at all. He said that he would be seen as being so weak that he had females fighting for him. Apparently, it would lead to a whole lot of attacks and challenges for the territory. I didn’t question it. All I had wanted was equality anyway, and I was slowly gaining it. Very slowly, but I could be patient when I needed to be.

“And?” Kiera squirmed, uncomfortable.

“So, you’ve been training for a while right?”

“Yes,” I answered slowly.

“Could you get us some training?” she asked quickly, as though afraid that if she didn’t say it quickly she wouldn’t say it at all. I let out a long breath.

“I got lucky that I was even allowed any training, and I wasn’t even supposed to have as much as I had gotten. My position was gained purely by the right circumstances.” Okay, so I was pulling it out of my ass. But my spot was precarious at best. If I were to ask Drake to open up the compound to all females he’d have my head. They exchanged a look.

“We know. We were actually wondering if you would train us.” I eyed them both. There was something they weren’t telling me.

“How many?” I asked, they both looked anywhere but at me.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t bullshit me.” This whole beating around the bush thing was really starting to get on my nerves. They both sighed.

“Okay, so us and about ten other females have been talking. And we thought that if you could train us, then we could train them,” Chris answered.

“You do realize that me training other females would be considered a kin to mutiny right?”

“Yeah,” they both mumbled.

“If Drake catches me he’ll see no other choice but to exile me. He’s let me get away with too much already. This will be nothing more than a slap in the face.” They both looked down at their hands.

“We know.” I took a deep breath.

“So you know that we have to keep it tight, and very, very quiet. Especially since you’re not even in this pack,” I said to Keira. It took them a moment to realize what I said. Then both of them stared at me wide eyed.

“Wait, what?” Chris asked, looking at me like she didn’t dare believe me.

“I can’t very well say no when I’ve done the very thing you want to do. Besides, everyone should have the right to defend themselves.” They started to squeal, bouncing up and down. “But,” I continued and they immediately settled down to listen. “I will be the only one training. It’ll be quicker, and safer. If you want to practice that’s fine, but no one teaches but me.”

“Deal,” Chris said immediately, her eyes wide.

“Agreed,” Keira replied, looking more somber than Chris. Keira had experience being the victim. I’d be willing to bet that she was going to take it way more seriously than some of the others.

Before I dropped them off at their cars I told them to grab every female that could keep her mouth shut, and meet me in the clearing that Asher had taken me on our first date. Chris knew it well, apparently that’s where Asher always took girls on the first date. Somehow I wasn’t surprised.

But the clearing was far from civilization and therefore private. And that’s all we really needed.

Chapter 31