In The Heat Of Passion - Unfinished, Sophie J Brain [dark academia books to read txt] 📗

opened and Chris stumbled in. Tom watched with equal parts horror and amusement as Chris fumbled his way to the table and sat down.

“Sorry I’m a bit late, got held up” he remarked.

“Oh?” Tom asked as he reached into his pocket and pulled out some mints “here you go, your breath is rank.”

Chris smiled and took a mint “have you been waiting long?”

“Well however late you are is how long I have been waiting” Tom answered “how are things? Have you spoken to Michelle?”

Chris raised his eyebrows “you have been asking about her a lot lately.”

Damn and double damn, he didn’t want his friend to work out why he was so interested in Michelle. He had heard that she was trying for a baby and had an unusual interest in how it was going. Once she had a baby she would never leave her husband. He had tried to move on from her, he had even tried dating again for the first time since his teenage years, but he couldn’t.

She would always be the one for him, there was no denying that, and he would always hope that one day they could be together. The longer she was married though the smaller that hope got.

If she had a baby with him then it would very nearly diminish completely. Why was she so insistent on having a baby anyway? She was still young, there was loads of time for that.

“I’m just curious” Tom finally replied “we did all used to be friends at one time.”

“She is very despondent at the moment” Chris replied “she has had no success with her quest for a child, she feels Paul isn’t really that interested. She could probably do with a friend.”

“What about Trace?” Tom asked, they had been friends since childhood.

“Trace is there but you know how it is” Chris replied “there are things you don’t tell your best friend, you don’t want to bombard them with all your secrets, I’m sure there are things you don’t tell me.”

Tom nodded, there was one thing in particular that he had no intention of telling Chris, his affair with Michelle. Tom dreaded to think what would happen if and when that did come out.

Perhaps if they had told people at the start though things would have been different. The day in the pub, when Michelle had left him, that could have been easily avoided had the truth been known.

“Secrets can be harmful though” Tom remarked.

“Don’t I know it” Chris replied, Tom heard a hint of a story in his tone of voice.

“You have personal experience?” Tom asked.

Chris sighed and glanced out the window. It was a sad sigh and Tom realised he was looking at a memory of the past. Suddenly he turned back and smiled “I don’t wish to discuss it.”

Tom sat back in his chair and didn’t question his friend any further. Chris had said something interesting though, maybe it was worth paying Michelle a visit. They had been friends long ago, maybe it was time to renew the friendship.

 

Michelle groaned and threw the pregnancy test across the room. Another negative result, what was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she get pregnant?

She knew she was being irrational, she had only been trying for nine months but she had hoped that she would be lucky. She had hoped that she would conceive immediately.

The longer it took the more it seemed that Paul was changing his mind. She had had to really convince him to have a child in the first place, what if he realised he didn’t want one yet? She sighed softly as she picked the test up and put it in the bin. She couldn’t really have a child with a man who didn’t want one. It would be unfair to everyone involved, but what if Paul never wanted a child?

Michelle would have a proper talk with him that night to make sure they were both on the same page. If Paul said he didn’t want children then they would deal with it then.

As Michelle walked into her lounge she glanced at picture of her and Tom. It had been taken at Chris and Maisy’s engagement party. She wondered what would have happened if they had stayed together. Would they be married? Would they have children? Somehow the thought seemed traitorously appealing.

She walked into her kitchen and poured a glass of wine. She knew it was early but she needed something to take her mind off Tom. She glanced at the blood stain on the wall and smiled. She wondered if her ancestors had the same problems she had.

From what she knew her mother’s side of the family had been large. Her great grand mother had had 5 siblings, most of whom had had many children themselves. A lot of them have since spread across the country but she kept in touch with as many as she could.

Her third cousin, Gary, still lived in Didcot so they caught up with each other when they could. He was thirty one that year but thus far he didn’t seem ready to settle down.

She blinked at the sound of her front door and walked over to open it. To her surprise it was Tom stood on the other side. Also to her surprise she didn’t want to tell him to leave.

“Can I come in?” he asked.

She nodded and let him walk into the house “is Chris with you?”

“No, I wanted to see you” he replied “Chris mentioned you were feeling low at the moment.”

“Well, of course” she murmured “my life is just one big discussion subject.”

She hated the thought of Tom and Chris talking about her personal life and marriage. Tom was too much of an ex for her to want him to know too much. They were friends, of sorts, but still she didn’t want him to know everything.

“It isn’t like that” Tom assured her “I wanted to know how it was going and he mentioned you were feeling low. Don’t worry ‘Chelle, you will have a baby, it just takes time.”

Something about his soft tone made her want to open up “I don’t even know if Paul wants a child.”

Tom sat down “of course he does, who wouldn’t want a child with you?”

She blinked at his words “what do you mean?”

“You are amazing and you will make an amazing mother” he answered “anyone who would want to build a life with you would want you to have children.”

“You sound like you have thought about it.”

“I have” he replied softly as she sat down.

She sighed, unsure what to say and sat down “it seems like so long ago and yet it wasn’t.”

“I know” Tom replied “we used to be good friends.”

Michelle looked away, she hated that she was so vulnerable around him. She wanted him to see her as confident and happy, the way she had always been with him.

She hated that Paul made her doubt herself and what she wanted in life. She hated knowing that deep down they would always be on different wave lengths. Most of all she hated that with each month they tried and failed to get pregnant Michelle wondered if she had made a mistake.

It was one that was easy to rectify at that point. If she decided that maybe her and Paul weren’t meant for each other then they could get divorced relatively easily. If she had a child with him it would make the whole thing more complicated.

What was she doing? Did she really want to through away her whole marriage over a small doubt due to not conceiving?

“I could do with a friend” she admitted.

“Perhaps we could be friend again?” he murmured slowly “I miss you ‘Chelle.”

She smiled “I miss you too.”

It was true, they had known each other for so long, and even when they had been together they had been close friends. To lose that suddenly with no warning had been a shock to her. It had seemed the right thing at the time, somehow looking back she wasn’t so sure now.

She was older now, wiser, and had a firmer grasp on her emotions. Why was it that the things which are so blurred at the time become so much clearer way after the fact?

She could have let him explain, she could have trusted him. It was the strangest thing, as a friend she trusted him almost completely, but as a lover and a partner it had been her struggle. Well at least it had been after seeing in the pub with that girl.

God she had been a right fool, she knew it deep down, but she had made her choice and she did love Paul.

She looked at Tom and took his hand, trying to ignore the sparks that shot across her body at his touch. She wanted to be his friend again and somehow she suddenly needed it.

“Welcome back old friend” she smiled.

Imprint

Publication Date: 06-12-2018

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
This book is dedicated to Rachel Brain; thanks for being an amazing sister.