In The Heat Of Passion - Unfinished, Sophie J Brain [dark academia books to read txt] 📗

she would have wanted it.

So, why then, was there this nagging doubt in her mind? The thought that something was wrong? She couldn’t put her finger on what it was but it bothered her. She looked up at the clock and sighed, she couldn’t ask if something was wrong again. They are going to start thinking that she had lost her mind.

She was marrying Paul, the food was fine, the guests were fine, and everything else was fine. She had nothing to worry about. So why did she feel so unsettled? She sat down and let out a small breath. She had changed into her dress far too early, the wedding wasn’t for another hour, and she was starting to feel hot. No wonder she felt something was off.

Oh God, she put her hand on her chest as it started beating uncontrollably, what on Earth was wrong with her? She should be happy and she was. At least she thought she was.

She slumped down on a chair and tried to work out her mind. She did want to marry Paul didn’t she? After her name slip up the week before she had been finding it hard to not think about Tom. Was she doing the wrong thing? Had she rushed into things with Paul to get over her feelings for Tom?

There had been that day, right at the start of her and Paul’s relationship, where she had seen Tom in the pub. She knew deep down it had awakened feelings, had she pushed forward in her relationship with Paul to prove that she was over Tom?

Oh God, when had everything become so muddled, maybe it was just pre – wedding nerves. Surely that was all it was? She didn’t want to be with Tom. She wanted to marry Paul.

There was a knock at the door and Tracy entered the room and smiled. “How are you feeling?”

“I think I’m all right” Michelle replied.

“You think?” Tracy echoed “does this have anything to do with last week?”

“If you mean my name slip, no it doesn’t” Michelle lied “I’m just nervous, that’s all.”

Tracy nodded and looked to the side “would you be all right to take a visitor?”

Michelle blinked at the oddly worded question “I suppose so, who is it?”

“Me” answered a voice behind her. She turned around and saw Tom stood there. Tracy glanced at them both before leaving the room.

“You look beautiful” Tom smiled.

Michelle looked away from him and walked to the other side of the room. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to speak to you?” he replied softly.

“And it couldn’t wait until after I got married?”

“No, it couldn’t” she heard him walk closer to her “I don’t think you should get married.”

She turned around quickly and let out a short breath as she realised how close he was. They were close enough to kiss if they wanted, and good God her traitorous heart did want. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes you do” he urged as he grabbed her hand, she pulled it away quickly “I know what happened last week, I know you still think about me.”

“Thomas, it’s my wedding day” Michelle snapped “it is not the time or the place.”

“I would argue that it is exactly the time and the place” Tom snapped back “if you don’t love him then you shouldn’t marry him.”

“I do love him” Michelle insisted “what would you know about it anyway, all you do is go from one conquest to the other, what would you know about being in a proper relationship?”

Tom ignored the immediate anger that fuelled his body at her arrogant comments and continued “I know I love you that is enough to tell me that what I am doing is right.”

“Why now?” she asked.

Tom couldn’t answer her as he had so satisfactory answer. He should have tried to win her back sooner, he knew that, but he couldn’t let her get married without trying.

He needed her and he loved her, he knew deep down that she loved him too, how could he make her see it?

“I can’t let you marry him” he finally answered.

“You can’t?” she echoed “I forgot when this became your choice.”

“Michelle, can you honestly say that you don’t love me?” Tom urged as he moved closer to her “can you honestly say that you don’t feel the heat between us? That you don’t want me?”

Michelle felt her resolve slipping as she moved a step closer to him, the worst thing was that he was right. She did feel the heat between them, she wanted to explore that heat again.

Tom smiled as she moved closer to him and moved a step closer to her. He reached out and took her hand and gently tugged her to him. Suddenly he was transported back two years and nothing bad had happened between them. He kissed her softly on the lips and enjoyed her soft taste.

She wrapped her arms around him as the kiss deepened. He put his hand in her hair as he pulled her closer. He needed her and he loved her.

Slowly she pulled away from him and walked to the other side of the room. He could feel her anguish and it made him ache. How could he convince her that they belonged together?

“Tom, I think you should go” she murmured.

“Don’t say that” he pleaded “I know you feel the same way as I do, I know you love me.”

Michelle bit her lip “I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m sorry, but I love Paul.”

“Please ‘Chelle.” He begged.

“I can’t talk about this anymore” she replied, but there was a catch in her voice “please leave.”

Tom nodded and left the room, she had made her choice. At least he had tried to stop her from marrying Paul, at least he had done his best to win her back.

 

Tom stood, along with the rest of the wedding guests, as Michelle walked in. She looked just as radiant as she had when they had spoken. He noticed her give him a fleeting glance before looking ahead at her intended husband. He looked happy and she looked, well she looked like she really wanted to be happy.

The wedding started and Michelle looked calmed until they asked if anyone objected. At this point Tom noticed her tense up and glance to the side, perhaps she was worried he would speak out? He didn’t though, he wanted her to come to him willingly, not because he had objected to her wedding. Soon the moment was over and the ceremony was completed.

He stood and shook Paul’s hand and gave Michelle a hug, but he knew he couldn’t handle the reception. It would be too much. He quickly found Chris and made the excuse that he wasn’t feeling well then left.

He travelled home quickly, stopping to get some beers and vodka on the way, and slumped down on his sofa once he got there. What had happened to him? When had his feelings for her over taken his life choices?

He opened a beer and took a swig out of it. She was married now, he would have to get over his love for her and move on. It was a Saturday night for Heaven’s sake, there was a time he would have been out chatting up women. Now he was alone, wallowing in self-pity, it would have to stop.

He took another swig from his beer and placed it on the table. He would always love her, he knew that, but maybe he could find happiness somewhere else. Part of him missed the person he had been before their relationship.

He smiled as he rested his head back on the sofa. At least now he could start to get over her.

 

Michelle sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror. It had been a long day but she had come out of it relatively unscathed. Even with her conversation with Tom still looming over her head she had managed to enjoy herself.

She glanced over at her new husband, who was busy getting ready for bed, she did love him. She knew she did.

Seeing Tom had bought up a lot of unresolved feelings but she knew that she couldn’t go back to him again. Deep down she didn’t think they were good for each other. They were too alike and too hot headed, things that rarely worked well together.

She had loved Tom and perhaps if things had been different they would still been together but it wasn’t meant to be.

“Are you all right?”

She looked at Paul and smiled “just thinking about everything, that’s all.”

“Do you want me to help you out of the dress?”

She nodded and felt his warm hands on her shoulders as he undid her dress. She frowned, something was wrong but she couldn’t put her finger on what it was.

She leaned back and gave him a kiss on the cheek, expecting to feel warmth but instead she felt nothing. What was happening?

He finished undoing the buttons on her dress and walked away so she could get undressed.

“You looked amazing today” he murmured.

She nodded “thank you, so did you.”

So did Tom as well, she couldn’t help but think, she had always liked him in a suit. She shook her head to get thought of Tom out and lay down in bed.

Paul soon joined her and put his arm around her as they cuddled up together. She loved him, and she wanted to make love to him, but suddenly there was no heat.

He had always turned her on, and he still did she supposed, but it wasn’t the same. The spark that had always been there was gone.

She shook her head again, she was just tired that was all. It had been a long day.

That was the last thought she had before Paul kissed her. She hoped it was because of the long day, otherwise it might be that the spark had never truly existed in the first place.

 

Chapter Nine

 

Chapter Nine

31st December 2010, - 9 months later.

 

“Do you have to see your family?”

Chris rolled his eyes at Tom “Christmas and new year are about the only time they see me these days. How can I get out of that?”

“Tell them you are sick?” Tom suggested.

Chris chuckled at the suggestion. “Why aren’t you seeing your family tonight?”

Tom sighed, if he saw his family then that would mean he would have to travel into Didcot. If he did that then he would be too tempted to go to Chris’ family’s New Year’s Eve party, where Michelle and her new husband would be. He did not want that, he had been successfully avoiding Chelle since the wedding and he wanted to continue doing so.

He couldn’t really say all of this to Chris however so he simply shrugged and said nothing. Maybe it was better for him to be on his own anyway, he didn’t like how Chris had started acting up. It had been a small change at first, an extra drink here and there but it seemed to to be becoming a bad habit. Tom knew he had something on his mind but he wouldn’t say what it was. Chris’ engagement to Maisy had ended so quickly nothing had really been discussed. Tom had known that Chris hadn’t loved Maisy but other than that nothing