never a dole moment, G S BRANDON [life books to read .TXT] 📗

thrown in the bin to rot, which should be a crime in my eyes, especially as we have lots of under nourished people living in England that are on and below the poverty line.

After quite a stretch on the dole I have found
myself on more than one occasion rummaging through the bins, in the dead of night, at a few well known shopping outlets ,and have been surprised at the amount of "in date" perfectly suitable food I have acquired for nothing ,but this is truly a activity for the true freegans among us and should not be tried by an un- supervised amiture doley ,also I believe this nocturnal pastime may be illigal, so therefore I cannot advocate my actions ,although I can say they have worked fine for me .

One process that I use, and is one that has never let me down, is to follow the person who is doing the price cutting around the store, picking up the bargains as soon as they have given them a reduced ticket, we call this oooopsting in the trade, because years ago Summerfield or scummerfield as we so lovingly called them used to reduce all the nearly out of date stock with a sticker that read ooooops on it.
I know of many people who have actually built up personal friendships with the ooooopstee`s to find out the exact time of day that the oooopsting commences. I even knew of one serial oooopster where he and his ooopsting tag
ended in a long term relationship, which only ended when he found a better looking ooooopstee at another cheaper store.
Love can be short lived in the ooopsting world, so make the most of it while you can, if you’re lucky enough to find it.
Sunday afternoons can be another real opportunity to pounce into action and get some cheap food, as on Sunday afternoons the stores generally need to get rid of things like bread and things they can’t freeze till Monday. My personal best has to be nearly a months shopping for under £30 but don’t be too downhearted if you don’t reach this kind of success at first, but know with dedication and practice and the refining of your art, you too can achieve greatness.
Ooooopsting and freeganism is a way of life for me, and is something I do naturally whether im on the dole or not ,its me doing my little bit to save the planet and help to stop the excessive waste we create ,or at least to try to make use of it .When I kept chickens I fed them on nothing other than the food I found in bins from supermarkets , and they all lived a very long healthy life producing the finest free range eggs right up to the point of being savaged by the local fox .

It has always amazed me just what kind of stuff we throw away , and skips are no exception .Personally I have found some astounding things in skips, all manner of things from furniture to gold ,I have on more than one occasion nearly emptied a full skip into the back of my car or van only to go on and sell the items on eBay or at boot fairs and make a tidy profit .A good friend of mine started his antiques business in the same way over ten years ago ,and now owns two of the finest antique shops in England, one in Hastings called Oscars and one in Chelsea called Callaway’s.
And whilst on the subject of selling things at auction or to be more precise an internet auction like eBay, I find the wonders of the internet are endless, but one of the real wonders for me has to be internet shopping ,because not only can you buy all the stores " saver " branded food without having to actually walk around the store with a trolley full of this cheap shit ,and deal with all the snipes and sad looks from the other more well off shoppers, you can also have it delivered right to your door while you sit at home on eBay selling stuff or buying things like cheap clothing for half nothing ,its a win win situation .So thank god for the micro chip and thank Tesco for the blue stripe oven chip .


BOORDOM


Boredom can be major problem for those of us who have found themselves locked into a long stretch on the dole , and once all the usual roots of entertainment have been extinguished for example > dog walking ,eating too much ,endless TV watching ,marathon wanking sessions ,housework ,people watching ,curtain twitching ,gardening ,crosswords ,self harming ect ect the doley will inevitably get to a point of total boredom and the utter despair at their own boring existence .At this point of self loathing and internal struggling it is best for the individual to totally give up.
Now that may sound a bit shocking and very much like a defeatist attitude, and definitely one that will never get you out of this crazy lifestyle, but believe me its the only way if you want to stay sane ,so by totally letting go and thinking to hell with it we actually cut ourselves enough slack to do something about the situation .Positive thinking is all good and well but you are really setting yourself up for a lot of major set backs and soul destroying let downs, it really is best policy to give up ,exhale and use the "wot the fuck who cares" mantra on a daily basis ,you will find this helpful .
Now, this new slack attitude has to be embraced to the full and its no good pretending to be cool when inside your still worrying about what others may think of you ,or why haven’t I got a job, is there something wrong with me? , or why cant I afford the latest trainers or clothes, cars ,toys ,gadgets like other people .No matter what the internal dialogue is, the answer is always the same "fuck it who cares" it will all be out of fashion next month and replaced by yet another "must have pile of shite" to buy.
Once you have mastered this one you will find the need to be constantly busy or constantly filling your time with pointless pursuits will slowly ebb away and you will be able to face the mirror " bollock naked" and think "who gives a fuck" not me matey you can keep your fucking b&q and endless time spent trying to better your house( just to change it back to what it was originally in less than six months),or the endless amounts of money and time people spent on their fucking cars doing them up ,or the constant shopping trips buying shit that they think will make them feel and look good ,or the endless boring dinner fucking parties they go to, talking about how so and so are doing so well now that they are “managerial material”, or the new craft that they have so engagingly taken up .So fucking what! I don’t really give a rat’s arse about any of that! im on the dole and I bloody well love it, I can do anything I want but still choose to do piss all, and if that annoys you with your busy schedule and endless wants and must haves, then all I can say is " sue me" but watch out! because I get legal aid and unlimited funding (another trump card of the doley ).

Please note all of the above are just thinking patterns that may slip into the trainee doley`s sub- conscious, and could be (if used) some real party stopping lines when uttered within a real life situation, So therefore, it is in the best interests for all concerned that these rantings are kept safely in ones head, as the outcome of such thoughts becoming real live verbal outbursts, can result in quite a dramatic ending to any conversation.


Once you have spent a few months pointing out to people that their lives are pretty futile and silly, and the capitalist system we all live in will eventually have to come to a crashing stop just like yours has, you will probably notice (like I did ) that you have no friends left, and people (on the whole) seem to avoid you like the plague .Now although this seems to be a real gut punch at the time it can also be a plus ,because now you wont need to rack your brains trying to find excuses to "not” go to yet another boring party. or find a cunning way out of going to that bloody barbeque with the people with the "nightmare children", and have to sit there all night with a grin on your face while all the time one of the little brats is hell bent on whacking you across the shins with his new cricket bat .and all his parents do to kerb his antics is say " oh hes ADHD, hes a bit of a naughty little sausage isnt he ? ", naughty little sausage? I could smash his fucking face in, he’s a proper little bastard that’s what he is !.
So every cloud really does have a silver lining, and every negative can be made into a massive plus ,it is just a matter of how you can adapt to the challenges , and always remember " no friends ,means no worries " and no bastard children to contend with or put up with .bonus all round really.


THE GREEN EYED DRAGON


Contrary to popular belief most people on the dole do not live a charmed existence, made up by endless benefit cheques and other hand-outs .Most people I have known who have claimed benefits (either short term or long term) have had to live a day to day hand to mouth kind of life style.
The common myth of getting big cheques, flat screen TV’s, cars, and other niceties is never a reality for most on the dole especially single people with no offspring.
The reality for most people is, sometimes a late cheque, or a cheque that is wrong, or the constant letters informing the doley that his or her benefits are going to stop .Or the best one to upset even the most level headed among us, is that the dole office has made a mistake and over paid you and you are now going to have to pay it all back, every last penny, because they made a mistake, classic!
No matter what your situation is on cloud doley, you should always watch out for the "ol green eyed dragon" or as I call it miss- directed envy ,now this can come in many forms ,from the flippant comment like "how can he afford a car on the dole " to someone actually phoning the chat to inform them that you may be swindling them and working on the side .The fact that you actually bought the car before you signed on or haven’t done any work is irrelevant , these type of people only deal in " the now" and live a who can I fuck up now to make myself feel better about myself ,kind of existence , and nine times out of ten are usually the kind of bastards that have done years of screwing people over one way or another and therefore lined their pockets to the brim, thank you very much ! .
But never the less you re an annoyance to them and should be taught a lesson, and they feel it is their duty as a "neighbourhood