never a dole moment, G S BRANDON [life books to read .TXT] 📗
- Author: G S BRANDON
Book online «never a dole moment, G S BRANDON [life books to read .TXT] 📗». Author G S BRANDON
watcher" to dish out the shit by means of a snide sly phone call to the dole office informing them of your so called wrong doings .So beware what you tell people don’t tell them things they don’t need to know ,some can and will use this knowledge against you, no matter how friendly they seem to be to your face .Even if your not doing anything wrong like working on the side while claiming, just keep it to yourself ,a secret shared aint a secret no more !.
DEBT
Living on benefits is hard, but living on benefits with personal debt is impossible .Firstly you must drop the idea that you can muddle on through paying your monthly instalments and keeping on top of things .Secondly forget the idea that someone will help you out of this rut, unless of course you are fortunate enough to have a rich understanding relative or friend tucked away on the sidelines for when times get hard.
Lets not mince words you are in the shit and no bastard is going to help you ,with most of the population in Britain today in some kind of debt, and the ever rising national debt, you can also rule out the hope of help from most of the debt management companies who will only put you on to some kind of repayment scheme whilst charging you commission for the service .Other companies and charities like the citizens advice bureau can be of some help but on the whole are a waste of time and only offer the kind of advice you can find out quicker for yourself .The only person that can sort this debt issue is yourself ,and time is important so don’t waste it hanging around or phoning some bogus company that you believe will help you, through the kindness of their hearts .The thing to do is phone the credit card company or bank or whoever the debt is with and tell them, in the nicest way possible that you can no longer pay the full monthly amount as you are unfortunately now unemployed .Now this will probably not go down that well with the person on the end of the phone ,and they may even advise you about ways you can pay the full amount like for example to sell your house and live in a shed , or sell your car or a kidney for example, and they might even threaten you in that nice way that phone joeys do, by telling you that the debt may go to a debt collecting company that may pay you a visit and take all of your belongings to sell at auction in part payment for the outstanding debt .The best piece of advice I can give you for when this happens is not to lose it and go ballistic down the
phone, as this will only antagonise the phone Joey and will only make them up their naturally bombastic persona ,thus getting you no- where .At this point in time you need to stay calm even if your whole body wants to scream down the phone at this un caring shit of a person from the so called customer care dept .Yes this is a hard one but worth it in the long run believe me ,the last thing you need to be doing is making it personal with the prick on the end of the phone who is probably only reading directions from their computer screen anyway .Stay calm and tell them what you can easily afford to pay each month and try to set up a payment plan yourself with them directly ,then tell them you are going to send them an income and expenditure form that you have already downloaded from the citizens advice web site and filled in, adding proof of income i.e. a letter from the dole stating the amount of money you are trying to live on .The ball is now in their court and all you can do is wait for a response ,nine times out of ten they will accept your terms and although they might try to barter on the amount you are willing to pay ,you should just stick to your guns and say " I want to honour and pay my debts and this is the amount I can comfortably pay each month " This should be the end of the matter and they should give you at least a six month payment plan and in some cases even freeze the interest so you are only paying the debt off and nothing is wasted on interest .At a later date you may even have the opportunity to pay a fair and final payment to wipe the debt ,and the bonus of this is that this kind of deal can knock thousands off the initial debt without getting you a ccj or the bother and cost of going bankrupt . But even if the debt does end up in court don’t worry as most debts are wiped in court especially if you are still on the dole and own fuck all, have your day in court it could be the best thing you’ve done and clear you of a lot of debt stress. I know of people who have walked into court with over 50,000 pounds worth of debt and walked out free from it ,but this only really works if you own nothing and rent your home, so walk this road with care and do your homework before taking the plunge . With a lot of time on your hands you can use the local library for free to swot up on ideas about clearing or managing debt rather than just driving yourself into a early grave worrying about them. Its true you can be pro- active even on the dole, the only thing limiting you, is you.
SELF IMPROVEMENT
No- one on the chat can say they haven’t got the time for a little self improvement ,for one thing it can stop you from going totally insane and for another because you are on benefits it can cost you very little if anything at all ,There are plenty of things to be doing to help fill the endless days, One good example is to join a gym for a bit of physical release or in my case to check out some top totty to store in the wank bank to cash in later .Now I know you will be thinking o that will cost an arm and a leg to join a gym ,but because you are on the dole you are entitled to a passport to sport therefore making it very cheap if not free to use the sportcenters facilities once you have attained your pass .Another free activity is the local library and because again you have your dole gold card this should not cost anything ,so use it and read all the books you have been waiting to read if you only had the time ,well now you have and while your in there why not check out the free courses available to those on dole ,I did and ended up six months later with a diploma in hypnotherapy, of all things but there are loads of courses available bricklaying ,carpentry, sewing ,cooking ,psychology basic maths ,advanced spelling (maybe one for me) nursing ,car maintenance ,the list is endless ,.So in a funny kind of way a dole card can open doors ,doors you may have thought you never would have open-ended ,just look at me I can now hypnotise a cat and you never know when that’s gonna come in useful do you ? .
RELATIONSHIPS
Relationships can be a strain even in normal situations but even harder whilst in a financially tight one .Boredom can be magnified by 10000% especially if your other half keeps reminding you of how boring it is ,and how other people they know are doing this and buying that and flying here and sailing there ,it can drive a person to drugs or worse .So my only piece of advice for this situation is the constant promise gag .The constant promise gag is self explanatory really it involves mainly of living in a dream world and constantly promising the other half of the wonders that are coming to your lives as soon as you get some money or to take it a step further to actually start believing in your own fucked up slant on life and actually to start acting out the dreams for real ,for example I once spent a whole day on a boat in a marina with a girlfriend chilling out and having a laugh pretending that I actually owned the vessel when in reality I was only allowed in the marina in the first place because I had bullshitted to the gate house that I was a potential buyer and would like to check out some boats for sale ,the fact that I was there all day didn’t seem to bother them and we quickly fitted right in amongst the hurray henrys and at one point was even invited onto another boat by its owner for some champers (very nice too).
Another thing to remember is the fact that being together 24/ 7 will never make things any better ,you need space in any healthy relationship ,so the importance of "getting the fuck outa there" is a very a good one to remember ,even if its just time alone spent watching a tree grow and collecting your thoughts, I cannot express how much of a help you will find this .A escape plan is vital in this situation and a simple " im going to see so and so about some work" works a treat as a get out clause ,and you can bet your next dole cheque that they wont want to tag along , as there is only one thing more boring than looking for a job and that’s looking for a job for someone else ,so use this time to get your head together and plan your next move , in peace . Also if your love for each other can survive a stint of no money ,constant rowing ,debt stress , boredom ,no sex , than it can survive just about anything ,especially the good times , and if it doesn’t just sling it all in and go it alone its definitely easier with only one brain to keep sane ,this worked fine for me but its not for everyone especially if you suffer badly with loneliness .
DIET
The issue of what to eat while being a doley is of uppermost importance and a set ,cheap ,mostly boring diet is paramount if you wish to survive these lean times .You firstly need to forget the idea of eating quality, as quality means expensive ,also forget comfort eating unless you happen to love cheap smash potato or other cheap products like this ,in which case you are laughing, and half way there to creating the perfect doley diet .Some of my favourite dole cuisines are sausage, smash and beans or fish fingers ( cheap home brand of course) chips and peas or home made stew made from scrumped or freeganised vegetables .Little and often is the eating pattern that any doley should apply ,small portions of food created throughout the whole day and more often than not into the night, is the process to head towards .The reasons behind this strange diet are simple to understand. 1 small portions will eradicate bloating whilst sitting around, also energy rushes that have no where to be spent ,and lastly, time spent cooking different dishes throughout the day will eradicate boredom a bit .Also the creative process of what to cook next and with
DEBT
Living on benefits is hard, but living on benefits with personal debt is impossible .Firstly you must drop the idea that you can muddle on through paying your monthly instalments and keeping on top of things .Secondly forget the idea that someone will help you out of this rut, unless of course you are fortunate enough to have a rich understanding relative or friend tucked away on the sidelines for when times get hard.
Lets not mince words you are in the shit and no bastard is going to help you ,with most of the population in Britain today in some kind of debt, and the ever rising national debt, you can also rule out the hope of help from most of the debt management companies who will only put you on to some kind of repayment scheme whilst charging you commission for the service .Other companies and charities like the citizens advice bureau can be of some help but on the whole are a waste of time and only offer the kind of advice you can find out quicker for yourself .The only person that can sort this debt issue is yourself ,and time is important so don’t waste it hanging around or phoning some bogus company that you believe will help you, through the kindness of their hearts .The thing to do is phone the credit card company or bank or whoever the debt is with and tell them, in the nicest way possible that you can no longer pay the full monthly amount as you are unfortunately now unemployed .Now this will probably not go down that well with the person on the end of the phone ,and they may even advise you about ways you can pay the full amount like for example to sell your house and live in a shed , or sell your car or a kidney for example, and they might even threaten you in that nice way that phone joeys do, by telling you that the debt may go to a debt collecting company that may pay you a visit and take all of your belongings to sell at auction in part payment for the outstanding debt .The best piece of advice I can give you for when this happens is not to lose it and go ballistic down the
phone, as this will only antagonise the phone Joey and will only make them up their naturally bombastic persona ,thus getting you no- where .At this point in time you need to stay calm even if your whole body wants to scream down the phone at this un caring shit of a person from the so called customer care dept .Yes this is a hard one but worth it in the long run believe me ,the last thing you need to be doing is making it personal with the prick on the end of the phone who is probably only reading directions from their computer screen anyway .Stay calm and tell them what you can easily afford to pay each month and try to set up a payment plan yourself with them directly ,then tell them you are going to send them an income and expenditure form that you have already downloaded from the citizens advice web site and filled in, adding proof of income i.e. a letter from the dole stating the amount of money you are trying to live on .The ball is now in their court and all you can do is wait for a response ,nine times out of ten they will accept your terms and although they might try to barter on the amount you are willing to pay ,you should just stick to your guns and say " I want to honour and pay my debts and this is the amount I can comfortably pay each month " This should be the end of the matter and they should give you at least a six month payment plan and in some cases even freeze the interest so you are only paying the debt off and nothing is wasted on interest .At a later date you may even have the opportunity to pay a fair and final payment to wipe the debt ,and the bonus of this is that this kind of deal can knock thousands off the initial debt without getting you a ccj or the bother and cost of going bankrupt . But even if the debt does end up in court don’t worry as most debts are wiped in court especially if you are still on the dole and own fuck all, have your day in court it could be the best thing you’ve done and clear you of a lot of debt stress. I know of people who have walked into court with over 50,000 pounds worth of debt and walked out free from it ,but this only really works if you own nothing and rent your home, so walk this road with care and do your homework before taking the plunge . With a lot of time on your hands you can use the local library for free to swot up on ideas about clearing or managing debt rather than just driving yourself into a early grave worrying about them. Its true you can be pro- active even on the dole, the only thing limiting you, is you.
SELF IMPROVEMENT
No- one on the chat can say they haven’t got the time for a little self improvement ,for one thing it can stop you from going totally insane and for another because you are on benefits it can cost you very little if anything at all ,There are plenty of things to be doing to help fill the endless days, One good example is to join a gym for a bit of physical release or in my case to check out some top totty to store in the wank bank to cash in later .Now I know you will be thinking o that will cost an arm and a leg to join a gym ,but because you are on the dole you are entitled to a passport to sport therefore making it very cheap if not free to use the sportcenters facilities once you have attained your pass .Another free activity is the local library and because again you have your dole gold card this should not cost anything ,so use it and read all the books you have been waiting to read if you only had the time ,well now you have and while your in there why not check out the free courses available to those on dole ,I did and ended up six months later with a diploma in hypnotherapy, of all things but there are loads of courses available bricklaying ,carpentry, sewing ,cooking ,psychology basic maths ,advanced spelling (maybe one for me) nursing ,car maintenance ,the list is endless ,.So in a funny kind of way a dole card can open doors ,doors you may have thought you never would have open-ended ,just look at me I can now hypnotise a cat and you never know when that’s gonna come in useful do you ? .
RELATIONSHIPS
Relationships can be a strain even in normal situations but even harder whilst in a financially tight one .Boredom can be magnified by 10000% especially if your other half keeps reminding you of how boring it is ,and how other people they know are doing this and buying that and flying here and sailing there ,it can drive a person to drugs or worse .So my only piece of advice for this situation is the constant promise gag .The constant promise gag is self explanatory really it involves mainly of living in a dream world and constantly promising the other half of the wonders that are coming to your lives as soon as you get some money or to take it a step further to actually start believing in your own fucked up slant on life and actually to start acting out the dreams for real ,for example I once spent a whole day on a boat in a marina with a girlfriend chilling out and having a laugh pretending that I actually owned the vessel when in reality I was only allowed in the marina in the first place because I had bullshitted to the gate house that I was a potential buyer and would like to check out some boats for sale ,the fact that I was there all day didn’t seem to bother them and we quickly fitted right in amongst the hurray henrys and at one point was even invited onto another boat by its owner for some champers (very nice too).
Another thing to remember is the fact that being together 24/ 7 will never make things any better ,you need space in any healthy relationship ,so the importance of "getting the fuck outa there" is a very a good one to remember ,even if its just time alone spent watching a tree grow and collecting your thoughts, I cannot express how much of a help you will find this .A escape plan is vital in this situation and a simple " im going to see so and so about some work" works a treat as a get out clause ,and you can bet your next dole cheque that they wont want to tag along , as there is only one thing more boring than looking for a job and that’s looking for a job for someone else ,so use this time to get your head together and plan your next move , in peace . Also if your love for each other can survive a stint of no money ,constant rowing ,debt stress , boredom ,no sex , than it can survive just about anything ,especially the good times , and if it doesn’t just sling it all in and go it alone its definitely easier with only one brain to keep sane ,this worked fine for me but its not for everyone especially if you suffer badly with loneliness .
DIET
The issue of what to eat while being a doley is of uppermost importance and a set ,cheap ,mostly boring diet is paramount if you wish to survive these lean times .You firstly need to forget the idea of eating quality, as quality means expensive ,also forget comfort eating unless you happen to love cheap smash potato or other cheap products like this ,in which case you are laughing, and half way there to creating the perfect doley diet .Some of my favourite dole cuisines are sausage, smash and beans or fish fingers ( cheap home brand of course) chips and peas or home made stew made from scrumped or freeganised vegetables .Little and often is the eating pattern that any doley should apply ,small portions of food created throughout the whole day and more often than not into the night, is the process to head towards .The reasons behind this strange diet are simple to understand. 1 small portions will eradicate bloating whilst sitting around, also energy rushes that have no where to be spent ,and lastly, time spent cooking different dishes throughout the day will eradicate boredom a bit .Also the creative process of what to cook next and with
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