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Hurry,  She Did It

Ineffectually. How Wretched Must Have Been The Situation Of This

Young Creature,  Who Had Not Only Lost A Lover On Whom Her Tender

Heart Perfectly Doated,  But Was Exposed To The Rage Of An Injured

Father,  Tenderly Jealous Of His Honour,  Which Was Deeply Engaged

To The Sheriff Of London And Middlesex For The Safe Custody Of The

Said Bagshot,  And For Which Two Very Good Responsible Friends Had

Given Not Only Their Words But Their Bonds.

 

But Let Us Remove Our Eyes From This Melancholy Object And Survey

Our Hero,  Who,  After A Successless Search For Miss Straddle,  With

Wonderful Greatness Of Mind And Steadiness Of Countenance Went

Early In The Morning To Visit His Friend Heartfree,  At A Time When

The Common Herd Of Friends Would Have Forsaken And Avoided Him. He

Entered The Room With A Chearful Air,  Which He Presently Changed

Into Surprize On Seeing His Friend In A Night-Gown,  With His

Wounded Head Bound About With Linen,  And Looking Extremely Pale

From A Great Effusion Of Blood. When Wild Was Informed By

Heartfree What Had Happened He First Expressed Great Sorrow,  And

Afterwards Suffered As Violent Agonies Of Rage Against The Robbers

To Burst From Him. Heartfree,  In Compassion To The Deep Impression

His Misfortunes Seemed To Make On His Friend,  Endeavoured To

Lessen It As Much As Possible,  At The Same Time Exaggerating The

Obligation He Owed To Wild,  In Which His Wife Likewise Seconded

Him,  And They Breakfasted With More Comfort Than Was Reasonably To

Be Expected After Such An Accident; Heartfree Expressing Great

Satisfaction That He Had Put The Count's Note In Another Pocket-

Book; Adding,  That Such A Loss Would Have Been Fatal To Him; "For,

To Confess The Truth To You,  My Dear Friend," Said He,  "I Have Had

Book 2 Chapter 5 Pg 62

Some Losses Lately Which Have Greatly Perplexed My Affairs; And

Though I Have Many Debts Due To Me From People Of Great Fashion,  I

Assure You I Know Not Where To Be Certain Of Getting A Shilling."

Wild Greatly Felicitated Him On The Lucky Accident Of Preserving

His Note,  And Then Proceeded,  With Much Acrimony,  To Inveigh

Against The Barbarity Of People Of Fashion,  Who Kept Tradesmen Out

Of Their Money.

 

While They Amused Themselves With Discourses Of This Kind,  Wild

Meditating Within Himself Whether He Should Borrow Or Steal From

His Friend,  Or Indeed Whether He Could Not Effect Both,  The

Apprentice Brought A Bank-Note Of L500 In To Heartfree,  Which He

Said A Gentlewoman In The Shop,  Who Had Been Looking At Some

Jewels,  Desired Him To Exchange. Heartfree,  Looking At The Number,

Immediately Recollected It To Be One Of Those He Had Been Robbed

Of. With This Discovery He Acquainted Wild,  Who,  With The Notable

Presence Of Mind And Unchanged Complexion So Essential To A Great

Character,  Advised Him To Proceed Cautiously; And Offered (As Mr.

Heartfree Himself Was,  He Said,  Too Much Flustered To Examine The

Woman With Sufficient Art) To Take Her Into A Room In His House

Alone. He Would,  He Said,  Personate The Master Of The Shop,  Would

Pretend To Shew Her Some Jewels,  And Would Undertake To Get

Sufficient Information Out Of Her To Secure The Rogues,  And Most

Probably All Their Booty. This Proposal Was Readily And Thankfully

Accepted By Heartfree. Wild Went Immediately Up Stairs Into The

Room Appointed,  Whither The Apprentice,  According To Appointment,

Conducted The Lady.

 

The Apprentice Was Ordered Down Stairs The Moment The Lady Entered

The Room; And Wild,  Having Shut The Door,  Approached Her With

Great Ferocity In His Looks,  And Began To Expatiate On The

Complicated Baseness Of The Crime She Had Been Guilty Of; But

Though He Uttered Many Good Lessons Of Morality,  As We Doubt

Whether From A Particular Reason They May Work Any Very Good

Effect On Our Reader,  We Shall Omit His Speech,  And Only Mention

His Conclusion,  Which Was By Asking Her What Mercy She Could Now

Expect From Him? Miss Straddle,  For That Was The Young Lady,  Who

Had Had A Good Education,  And Had Been More Than Once Present At

The Old Bailey,  Very Confidently Denied The Whole Charge,  And Said

She Had Received The Note From A Friend. Wild Then,  Raising His

Voice,  Told Her She Should Be Immediately Committed,  And She Might

Depend On Being Convicted; "But," Added He,  Changing His Tone,  "As

I Have A Violent Affection For Thee,  My Dear Straddle,  If You Will

Follow My Advice,  I Promise You,  On My Honour,  To Forgive You,  Nor

Shall You Be Ever Called In Question On This Account." "Why,  What

Would You Have Me To Do,  Mr. Wild?" Replied The Young Lady,  With A

Pleasanter Aspect. "You Must Know Then," Said Wild,  "The Money You

Picked Out Of My Pocket (Nay,  By G--D You Did,  And If You Offer To

Flinch You Shall Be Convicted Of It) I Won At Play Of A Fellow Who

It Seems Robbed My Friend Of It; You Must,  Therefore,  Give An

Information On Oath Against One Thomas Fierce,  And Say That You

Received The Note From Him,  And Leave The Rest To Me. I Am

Certain,  Molly,  You Must Be Sensible Of Your Obligations To Me,

Who Return Good For Evil To You In This Manner." The Lady Readily

Book 2 Chapter 5 Pg 63

Consented,  And Advanced To Embrace Mr. Wild,  Who Stepped A Little

Back And Cryed,  "Hold,  Molly; There Are Two Other Notes Of L200

Each To Be Accounted For--Where Are They?" The Lady Protested With

The Most Solemn Asseverations That She Knew Of No More; With

Which,  When Wild Was Not Satisfied,  She Cried,  "I Will Stand

Search." "That You Shall," Answered Wild,  "And Stand Strip Too."

He Then Proceeded To Tumble And Search Her,  But To No Purpose,

Till At Last She Burst Into Tears,  And Declared She Would Tell The

Truth (As Indeed She Did); She Then Confessed That She Had

Disposed Of The One To Jack Swagger,  A Great Favourite Of The

Ladies,  Being An Irish Gentleman,  Who Had Been Bred Clerk To An

Attorney,  Afterwards Whipt Out Of A Regiment Of Dragoons,  And Was

Then A Newgate Solicitor,  And A Bawdy House Bully; And,  As For The

Other,  She Had Laid It All Out That Very Morning In Brocaded Silks

And Flanders Lace. With This Account Wild,  Who Indeed Knew It To

Be A Very Probable One,  Was Forced To Be Contented: And Now,

Abandoning All Further Thoughts Of What He Saw Was Irretrievably

Lost,  He Gave The Lady Some Further Instructions,  And Then,

Desiring Her To Stay A Few Minutes Behind Him,  He Returned To His

Friend,  And Acquainted Him That He Had Discovered The Whole

Roguery; That The Woman Had Confessed From Whom She Had Received

The Note,  And Promised To Give An Information Before A Justice Of

Peace; Adding,  He Was Concerned He Could Not Attend Him Thither,

Being Obliged To Go To The Other End Of The Town To Receive Thirty

Pounds,  Which He Was To Pay That Evening. Heartfree Said That

Should Not Prevent Him Of His Company,  For He Could Easily Lend

Him Such A Trifle. This Was Accordingly Done And Accepted,  And

Wild,  Heartfree,  And The Lady Went To The Justice Together.

 

The Warrant Being Granted,  And The Constable Being Acquainted By

The Lady,  Who Received Her Information From Wild,  Of Mr. Fierce's

Haunts,  He Was Easily Apprehended,  And,  Being Confronted By Miss

Straddle,  Who Swore Positively To Him,  Though She Had Never Seen

Him Before,  He Was Committed To Newgate,  Where He Immediately

Conveyed An Information To Wild Of What Had Happened,  And In The

Evening Received A Visit From Him.

 

Wild Affected Great Concern For His Friend's Misfortune,  And As

Great Surprize At The Means By Which It Was Brought About.

However,  He Told Fierce That He Must Certainly Be Mistaken In That

Point Of His Having Had No Acquaintance With Miss Straddle: But

Added,  That He Would Find Her Out,  And Endeavour To Take Off Her

Evidence,  Which,  He Observed,  Did Not Come Home Enough To Endanger

Him; Besides,  Be Would Secure Him Witnesses Of An Alibi,  And Five

Or Six To His Character; So That He Need Be Under No Apprehension,

For His Confinement Till The Sessions Would Be His Only

Punishment.

 

Fierce,  Who Was Greatly Comforted By These Assurances Of His

Friend,  Returned Him Many Thanks,  And,  Both Shaking Each Other

Very Earnestly By The Hand,  With A Very Hearty Embrace They

Separated.

 

The Hero Considered With Himself That The Single Evidence Of Miss

Book 2 Chapter 5 Pg 64

Straddle Would Not Be Sufficient To Convince Fierce,  Whom He

Resolved To Hang,  As He Was The Person Who Had Principally Refused

To Deliver Him The Stipulated Share Of The Booty; He Therefore

Went In Quest Of Mr. James Sly,  The Gentleman Who Had Assisted In

The Exploit,  And Found And Acquainted Him With The Apprehending Of

Fierce. Wild Then,  Intimating His Fear Least Fierce Should Impeach

Sly,  Advised Him To Be Beforehand,  To Surrender Himself To A

Justice Of Peace And Offer Himself As An Evidence. Sly Approved

Mr. Wild's Opinion,  Went Directly To A Magistrate,  And Was By Him

Committed To The Gatehouse,  With A Promise Of Being Admitted

Evidence Against His Companion.

 

Fierce Was In A Few Days Brought To His Trial At The Old Bailey,

Where,  To His Great Confusion,  His Old Friend Sly Appeared Against

Him,  As Did Miss Straddle. His Only Hopes Were Now In The

Assistances Which Our Hero Had Promised Him. These Unhappily

Failed Him: So That,  The Evidence Being Plain Against Him,  And He

Making No Defence,  The Jury Convicted Him,  The Court Condemned

Him,  And Mr. Ketch Executed Him.

 

With Such Infinite Address Did This Truly Great Man Know How To

Play With The Passions Of Men,  To Set Them At Variance With Each

Other,  And To Work His Own Purposes Out Of Those Jealousies And

Apprehensions Which He Was Wonderfully Ready At Creating By Means

Of Those Great Arts Which The Vulgar Call Treachery,  Dissembling,

Promising,  Lying,  Falsehood,  &C.,  But Which Are By Great Men

Summed Up In The Collective Name Of Policy,  Or Politics,  Or Rather

Pollitrics; An Art Of Which,  As It Is The Highest Excellence Of

Human Nature,  Perhaps Our Great Man Was The Most Eminent Master.

 

 

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