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Determined,  As The

Other Would Be Only A Burthen To Him,  To Sink Her,  She Being Very

Old And Leaky,  And Not Worth Going Back With To Dunkirk. He

Preserved,  Therefore,  Nothing But The Boat,  As His Own Was None Of

The Best,  And Then,  Pouring A Broadside Into Her,  He Sent Her To

The Bottom.

 

The French Captain,  Who Was A Very Young Fellow,  And A Man Of

Gallantry,  Was Presently Enamoured To No Small Degree With His

Beautiful Captive; And Imagining Wild,  From Some Words He Dropt,

To Be Her Husband,  Notwithstanding The Ill Affection Towards Him

Which Appeared In Her Looks,  He Asked Her If She Understood

French. She Answered In The Affirmative,  For Indeed She Did

Perfectly Well. He Then Asked Her How Long She And That Gentleman

(Pointing To Wild) Had Been Married. She Answered,  With A Deep

Sigh And Many Tears,  That She Was Married Indeed,  But Not To That

Villain,  Who Was The Sole Cause Of All Her Misfortunes. That

Appellation Raised A Curiosity In The Captain,  And He Importuned

Her In So Pressing But Gentle A Manner To Acquaint Him With The

Injuries She Complained Of,  That She Was At Last Prevailed On To

Recount To Him The Whole History Of Her Afflictions. This So Moved

The Captain,  Who Had Too Little Notions Of Greatness,  And So

Incensed Him Against Our Hero,  That He Resolved To Punish Him;

And,  Without Regard To The Laws Of War,  He Immediately Ordered Out

His Shattered Boat,  And,  Making Wild A Present Of Half-A-Dozen

Biscuits To Prolong His Misery,  He Put Him Therein,  And Then,

Committing Him To The Mercy Of The Sea,  Proceeded On His Cruize.

Book 2 Chapter 11 Pg 78

The Great And Wonderful Behaviour Of Our Hero In The Boat.

 

 

 

 

 

It Is Probable That A Desire Of Ingratiating Himself With His

Charming Captive,  Or Rather Conqueror,  Had No Little Share In

Promoting This Extraordinary Act Of Illegal Justice; For The

Frenchman Had Conceived The Same Sort Of Passion Or Hunger Which

Wild Himself Had Felt,  And Was Almost As Much Resolved,  By Some

Means Or Other,  To Satisfy It. We Will Leave Him However At

Present In The Pursuit Of His Wishes,  And Attend Our Hero In His

Boat,  Since It Is In Circumstances Of Distress That True Greatness

Appears Most Wonderful. For That A Prince In The Midst Of His

Courtiers,  All Ready To Compliment Him With His Favourite

Character Or Title,  And Indeed With Everything Else,  Or That A

Conqueror,  At The Head Of A Hundred Thousand Men,  All Prepared To

Execute His Will,  How Ambitious,  Wanton,  Or Cruel Soever,  Should,

In The Giddiness Of Their Pride,  Elevate Themselves Many Degrees

Above Those Their Tools,  Seems Not Difficult To Be Imagined,  Or

Indeed Accounted For. But That A Man In Chains,  In Prison,  Nay,  In

The Vilest Dungeon,  Should,  With Persevering Pride And Obstinate

Dignity,  Discover That Vast Superiority In His Own Nature Over The

Rest Of Mankind,  Who To A Vulgar Eye Seem Much Happier Than

Himself; Nay,  That He Should Discover Heaven And Providence (Whose

Peculiar Care,  It Seems,  He Is) At That Very Time At Work For Him;

This Is Among The Arcana Of Greatness,  To Be Perfectly Understood

Only By An Adept In That Science.

 

What Could Be Imagined More Miserable Than The Situation Of Our

Hero At This Season,  Floating In A Little Boat On The Open Seas,

Without Oar,  Without Sail,  And At The Mercy Of The First Wave To

Overwhelm Him? Nay,  This Was Indeed The Fair Side Of His Fortune,

As It Was A Much More Eligible Fate Than That Alternative Which

Threatened Him With Almost Unavoidable Certainty,  Viz.,  Starving

With Hunger,  The Sure Consequence Of A Continuance Of The Calm.

 

Our Hero,  Finding Himself In This Condition,  Began To Ejaculate A

Round Of Blasphemies,  Which The Reader,  Without Being Over-Pious,

Might Be Offended At Seeing Repeated. He Then Accused The Whole

Female Sex,  And The Passion Of Love (As He Called It),

Particularly That Which He Bore To Mrs. Heartfree,  As The Unhappy

Occasion Of His Present Sufferings. At Length,  Finding Himself

Descending Too Much Into The Language Of Meanness And Complaint,

He Stopped Short,  And After Broke Forth As Follows: "D--N It,  A

Man Can Die But Once! What Signifies It? Every Man Must Die,  And

When It Is Over It Is Over. I Never Was Afraid Of Anything Yet,

Nor I Won't Begin Now; No,  D--N Me,  Won't I. What Signifies Fear?

I Shall Die Whether I Am Afraid Or No: Who's Afraid Then,  D---N

Me?" At Which Words He Looked Extremely Fierce,  But,  Recollecting

That No One Was Present To See Him,  He Relaxed A Little The Terror

Of His Countenance,  And,  Pausing A While,  Repeated The Word,  D--N!

"Suppose I Should Be D--Ned At Last," Cries He,  "When I Never

Thought A Syllable Of The Matter? I Have Often Laughed And Made A

Jest About It,  And Yet It May Be So,  For Anything Which I Know To

The Contrary. If There Should Be Another World It Will Go Hard

Book 2 Chapter 11 Pg 79

With Me,  That Is Certain. I Shall Never Escape For What I Have

Done To Heartfree. The Devil Must Have Me For That Undoubtedly.

The Devil! Pshaw! I Am Not Such A Fool To Be Frightened At Him

Neither. No,  No; When A Man's Dead There's An End Of Him. I Wish I

Was Certainly Satisfied Of It Though: For There Are Some Men Of

Learning,  As I Have Heard,  Of A Different Opinion. It Is But A Bad

Chance,  Methinks,  I Stand. If There Be No Other World,  Why I Shall

Be In No Worse Condition Than A Block Or A Stone: But If There

Should----D--N Me I Will Think No Longer About It.--Let A Pack Of

Cowardly Rascals Be Afraid Of Death,  I Dare Look Him In The Face.

But Shall I Stay And Be Starved?--No,  I Will Eat Up The Biscuits

The French Son Of A Whore Bestowed On Me,  And Then Leap Into The

Sea For Drink,  Since The Unconscionable Dog Hath Not Allowed Me A

Single Dram." Having Thus Said,  He Proceeded Immediately To Put

His Purpose In Execution,  And,  As His Resolution Never Failed Him,

He Had No Sooner Despatched The Small Quantity Of Provision Which

His Enemy Had With No Vast Liberality Presented Him,  Than He Cast

Himself Headlong Into The Sea.

Book 2 Chapter 12 Pg 80

 

The Strange And Yet Natural Escape Of Our Hero.

 

 

 

 

 

Our Hero,  Having With Wonderful Resolution Thrown Himself Into The

Sea,  As We Mentioned At The End Of The Last Chapter,  Was

Miraculously Within Two Minutes After Replaced In His Boat; And

This Without The Assistance Of A Dolphin Or A Seahorse,  Or Any

Other Fish Or Animal,  Who Are Always As Ready At Hand When A Poet

Or Historian Pleases To Call For Them To Carry A Hero Through The

Sea,  As Any Chairman At A Coffee-House Door Near St. James's To

Convey A Beau Over A Street,  And Preserve His White Stockings. The

Truth Is,  We Do Not Chuse To Have Any Recourse To Miracles,  From

The Strict Observance We Pay To That Rule Of Horace,

 

  Nec Deus Intersit,  Nisi Dignus Vindice Nodus.

 

The Meaning Of Which Is,  Do Not Bring In A Supernatural Agent When

You Can Do Without Him; And Indeed We Are Much Deeper Read In

Natural Than Supernatural Causes. We Will Therefore Endeavour To

Account For This Extraordinary Event From The Former Of These; And

Book 2 Chapter 12 Pg 81

In Doing This It Will Be Necessary To Disclose Some Profound

Secrets To Our Reader,  Extremely Well Worth His Knowing,  And Which

May Serve Him To Account For Many Occurrences Of The Phenomenous

Kind Which Have Formerly Appeared In This Our Hemisphere.

 

Be It Known Then That The Great Alma Mater,  Nature,  Is Of All

Other Females The Most Obstinate,  And Tenacious Of Her Purpose. So

True Is That Observation,

 

  Naturam Expellas Furca Licet,  Usque Recurret.

 

Which I Need Not Render In English,  It Being To Be Found In A Book

Which Most Fine Gentlemen Are Forced To Read. Whatever Nature,

Therefore,  Purposes To Herself,  She Never Suffers Any Reason,

Design,  Or Accident To Frustrate. Now,  Though It May Seem To A

Shallow Observer That Some Persons Were Designed By Nature For No

Use Or Purpose Whatever,  Yet Certain It Is That No Man Is Born

Into The World Without His Particular Allotment; Viz.,  Some To Be

Kings,  Some Statesmen,  Some Ambassadors,  Some Bishops,  Some

Generals,  And So On. Of These There Be Two Kinds; Those To Whom

Nature Is So Generous To Give Some Endowment Qualifying Them For

The Parts She Intends Them Afterwards To Act On This Stage,  And

Those Whom She Uses As Instances Of Her Unlimited Power,  And For

Whose Preferment To Such And Such Stations Solomon Himself Could

Have Invented No Other Reason Than That Nature Designed Them So.

These Latter Some Great Philosophers Have,  To Shew Them To Be The

Favourites Of Nature,  Distinguished By The Honourable Appellation

Of Naturals. Indeed,  The True Reason Of The General Ignorance Of

Mankind On This Head Seems To Be This; That,  As Nature Chuses To

Execute These Her Purposes By Certain Second Causes,  And As Many

Of These Second Causes Seem So Totally Foreign To Her Design,  The

Wit Of Man,  Which,  Like His Eye,  Sees Best Directly Forward,  And

Very Little And Imperfectly What Is Oblique,  Is Not Able To

Discern The End By The Means. Thus,  How A Handsome Wife Or

Daughter Should Contribute To Execute Her Original Designation Of

A General,  Or How Flattery Or Half A Dozen Houses In A Borough-

Town Should Denote A Judge,  Or A Bishop,  He Is Not Capable Of

Comprehending. And,  Indeed,  We Ourselves, 

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