The History Of The Life Of The Late Mr. Jonathan Wild The Great(Fiscle Part 3), Henry Fielding [most read books in the world of all time .txt] 📗

Book 1 Chapter 8 Pg 30

With Which He Waited Upon His Mistress,  Whom He Found In The Most

Beautiful Undress. Her Lovely Hair Hung Wantonly Over Her

Forehead,  Being Neither White With,  Nor Yet Free From,  Powder; A

Neat Double Clout,  Which Seemed To Have Been Worn A Few Weeks

Only,  Was Pinned Under Her Chin; Some Remains Of That Art With

Which Ladies Improve Nature Shone On Her Cheeks; Her Body Was

Loosely Attired,  Without Stays Or Jumps,  So That Her Breasts Had

Uncontrolled Liberty To Display Their Beauteous Orbs,  Which They

Did As Low As Her Girdle; A Thin Covering Of A Rumpled Muslin

Handkerchief Almost Hid Them From The Eyes,  Save In A Few Parts,

Where A Good-Natured Hole Gave Opportunity To The Naked Breast To

Appear. Her Gown Was A Satin Of A Whitish Colour,  With About A

Dozen Little Silver Spots Upon It,  So Artificially Interwoven At

Great Distance,  That They Looked As If They Had Fallen There By

Chance. This,  Flying Open,  Discovered A Fine Yellow Petticoat,

Beautifully Edged Round The Bottom With A Narrow Piece Of Half

Gold Lace Which Was Now Almost Become Fringe: Beneath This

Appeared Another Petticoat Stiffened With Whalebone,  Vulgarly

Called A Hoop,  Which Hung Six Inches At Least Below The Other; And

Under This Again Appeared An Under-Garment Of That Colour Which

Ovid Intends When He Says,

 

----Qui Color Albus Erat Nunc Est Contrarius Albo.

 

She Likewise Displayed Two Pretty Feet Covered With Silk And

Adorned With Lace,  And Tied,  The Right With A Handsome Piece Of

Blue Ribbon; The Left,  As More Unworthy,  With A Piece Of Yellow

Stuff,  Which Seemed To Have Been A Strip Of Her Upper Petticoat.

Such Was The Lovely Creature Whom Mr. Wild Attended. She Received

Him At First With Some Of That Coldness Which Women Of Strict

Virtue,  By A Commendable Though Sometimes Painful Restraint,

Enjoin Themselves To Their Lovers. The Snuff-Box,  Being Produced,

Was At First Civilly,  And Indeed Gently,  Refused; But On A Second

Application Accepted. The Tea-Table Was Soon Called For,  At Which

A Discourse Passed Between These Young Lovers,  Which,  Could We Set

It Down With Any Accuracy,  Would Be Very Edifying As Well As

Entertaining To Our Reader; Let It Suffice Then That The Wit,

Together With,  The Beauty,  Of This Young Creature,  So Inflamed The

Passion Of Wild,  Which,  Though An Honourable Sort Of A Passion,

Was At The Same Time So Extremely Violent,  That It Transported Him

To Freedoms Too Offensive To The Nice Chastity Of Laetitia,  Who

Was,  To Confess The Truth,  More Indebted To Her Own Strength For

The Preservation Of Her Virtue Than To The Awful Respect Or

Backwardness Of Her Lover; He Was Indeed So Very Urgent In His

Addresses,  That,  Had He Not With Many Oaths Promised Her Marriage,

We Could Scarce Have Been Strictly Justified In Calling His

Passion Honourable; But He Was So Remarkably Attached To Decency,

That He Never Offered Any Violence To A Young Lady Without The

Most Earnest Promises Of That Kind,  These Being,  He Said,  A

Ceremonial Due To Female Modesty,  Which Cost So Little,  And Were

So Easily Pronounced,  That The Omission Could Arise From Nothing

But The Mere Wantonness Of Brutality. The Lovely Laetitia,  Either

Out Of Prudence,  Or Perhaps Religion,  Of Which She Was A Liberal

Professor,  Was Deaf To All His Promises,  And Luckily Invincible By

Book 1 Chapter 8 Pg 31

His Force; For,  Though She Had Not Yet Learnt The Art Of Well

Clenching Her Fist,  Nature Had Not However Left Her Defenceless,

For At The Ends Of Her Fingers She Wore Arms,  Which She Used With

Such Admirable Dexterity,  That The Hot Blood Of Mr. Wild Soon

Began To Appear In Several Little Spots On His Face,  And His Full-

Blown Cheeks To Resemble That Part Which Modesty Forbids A Boy To

Turn Up Anywhere But In A Public School,  After Some Pedagogue,

Strong Of Arm,  Hath Exercised His Talents Thereon. Wild Now

Retreated From The Conflict,  And The Victorious Laetitia,  With

Becoming Triumph And Noble Spirit,  Cried Out,  "D--N Your Eyes,  If

This Be Your Way Of Shewing Your Love,  I'll Warrant I Gives You

Enough On't." She Then Proceeded To Talk Of Her Virtue,  Which Wild

Bid Her Carry To The Devil With Her,  And Thus Our Lovers Parted.

 

Book 1 Chapter 9 Pg 32

 

A Discovery Of Some Matters Concerning The Chaste Laetitia Which

Must Wonderfully Surprise,  And Perhaps Affect,  Our Reader.

 

 

 

 

 

Mr. Wild Was No Sooner Departed Than The Fair Conqueress,  Opening

The Door Of A Closet,  Called Forth A Young Gentleman Whom She Had

There Enclosed At The Approach Of The Other. The Name Of This

Gallant Was Tom Smirk. He Was Clerk To An Attorney,  And Was Indeed

The Greatest Beau And The Greatest Favourite Of The Ladies At The

End Of The Town Where He Lived. As We Take Dress To Be The

Characteristic Or Efficient Quality Of A Beau,  We Shall,  Instead

Of Giving Any Character Of This Young Gentleman,  Content Ourselves

With Describing His Dress Only To Our Readers. He Wore,  Then,  A

Pair Of White Stockings On His Legs,  And Pumps On His Feet: His

Buckles Were A Large Piece Of Pinchbeck Plate,  Which Almost

Covered His Whole Foot. His Breeches Were Of Red Plush,  Which

Hardly Reached His Knees; His Waistcoat Was A White Dimity,  Richly

Embroidered With Yellow Silk,  Over Which He Wore A Blue Plush Coat

With Metal Buttons,  A Smart Sleeve,  And A Cape Reaching Half Way

Down His Back. His Wig Was Of A Brown Colour,  Covering Almost Half

His Pate,  On Which Was Hung On One Side A Little Laced Hat,  But

Cocked With Great Smartness. Such Was The Accomplished Smirk,  Who,

At His Issuing Forth From The Closet,  Was Received With Open Arms

By The Amiable Laetitia. She Addressed Him By The Tender Name Of

Dear Tommy,  And Told Him She Had Dismissed The Odious Creature

Book 1 Chapter 9 Pg 33

Whom Her Father Intended For Her Husband,  And Had Now Nothing To

Interrupt Her Happiness With Him.

 

Here,  Reader,  Thou Must Pardon Us If We Stop A While To Lament The

Capriciousness Of Nature In Forming This Charming Part Of The

Creation Designed To Complete The Happiness Of Man; With Their

Soft Innocence To Allay His Ferocity,  With Their Sprightliness To

Soothe His Cares,  And With Their Constant Friendship To Relieve

All The Troubles And Disappointments Which Can Happen To Him.

Seeing Then That These Are The Blessings Chiefly Sought After And

Generally Found In Every Wife,  How Must We Lament That Disposition

In These Lovely Creatures Which Leads Them To Prefer In Their

Favour Those Individuals Of The Other Sex Who Do Not Seem Intended

By Nature As So Great A Masterpiece! For Surely,  However Useful

They May Be In The Creation,  As We Are Taught That Nothing,  Not

Even A Louse,  Is Made In Vain,  Yet These Beaus,  Even That Most

Splendid And Honoured Part Which In This Our Island Nature Loves

To Distinguish In Red,  Are Not,  As Some Think,  The Noblest Work Of

The Creator. For My Own Part,  Let Any Man Chuse To Himself Two

Beaus,  Let Them Be Captains Or Colonels,  As Well-Dressed Men As

Ever Lived,  I Would Venture To Oppose A Single Sir Isaac Newton,  A

Shakespear,  A Milton,  Or Perhaps Some Few Others,  To Both These

Beaus; Nay,  And I Very Much Doubt Whether It Had Not Been Better

For The World In General That Neither Of These Beaus Had Ever Been

Born Than That It Should Have Wanted The Benefit Arising To It

From The Labour Of Any One Of Those Persons.

 

If This Be True,  How Melancholy Must Be The Consideration That Any

Single Beau,  Especially If He Have But Half A Yard Of Ribbon In

His Hat,  Shall Weigh Heavier In The Scale Of Female Affection Than

Twenty Sir Isaac Newtons! How Must Our Reader,  Who Perhaps Had

Wisely Accounted For The Resistance Which The Chaste Laetitia Had

Made To The Violent Addresses Of The Ravished (Or Rather

Ravishing) Wild From That Lady's Impregnable Virtue--How Must He

Blush,  I Say,  To Perceive Her Quit The Strictness Of Her Carriage,

And Abandon Herself To Those Loose Freedoms Which She Indulged To

Smirk! But Alas! When We Discover All,  As To Preserve The Fidelity

Of Our History We Must,  When We Relate That Every Familiarity Had

Past Between Them,  And That The Fair Laetitia (For We Must,  In

This Single Instance,  Imitate Virgil When He Drops The Pius And

The Pater,  And Drop Our Favourite Epithet Of Chaste),  The Fair

Laetitia Had,  I Say,  Made Smirk As Happy As Wild Desired To Be,

What Must Then Be Our Reader's Confusion! We Will,  Therefore,  Draw

A Curtain Over This Scene,  From That Philogyny Which Is In Us,  And

Proceed To Matters Which,  Instead Of Dishonouring The Human

Species,  Will Greatly Raise And Ennoble It.

 

Book 1 Chapter 10 Pg 35

Containing As Notable Instances Of Human Greatness As Are To Be

Met With In Ancient Or Modern History. Concluding With Some

Wholesome Hints To The Gay Part Of Mankind.

 

 

 

 

 

Wild No Sooner Parted From The Chaste Laetitia Than,  Recollecting

That His Friend The Count Was Returned To His Lodgings In The Same

House,  He Resolved To Visit Him; For He Was None Of Those Half-

Bred Fellows Who Are Ashamed To See Their Friends When They Have

Plundered And Betrayed Them; From Which Base And Pitiful Temper

Many Monstrous Cruelties Have Been Transacted By Men,  Who